Every word of this is pure gold. THANK YOU for this. There is no way this child wrote the Guardian article: anyone who knows an average 14-year-old could tell you this. This was crafted by adults with an agenda. I feel sorry for this poor young man and hope he gets out before his life is altered irreparably.
Thank you for this. I am a fellow mother of a desister. She is now 16 and safely out. I remember well that my daughter wasn't developmentally able to take the long view of life, which is why we parents are here to do that!
Just last night I was up late googling my daughter’s guidance counselor from high school. I felt like a psycho doing it but I was so angry about how she contributed to my daughter’s demise. The emotions that come throughout the day vary and a lot of times there is just so much anger and hate about what has happened to her. Grown ass adults helped put her on the trans path which hasn’t bode well for her at all. I wanted to know where this counselor was. I wanted to email letting them know how much they have ruined my kids life only to send them out in the world unprepared. All of the parenting I did unraveled in an instant.
The countless times I’ve been told I’m a bigot, transphobe, and have no decency for human beings plays through my mind. Referring to the article-how does a 4yr old transition? They don’t even know what that is. What is wrong with their parents?? It’s so interesting that folks think this is just conservatives spinning a narrative. I’ve never voted republican or democratic in my life, I’ve dated both sexes, I’ve played co-ed soccer (and there is a huge biological difference) and honestly had this not happened to my family I’m not sure what I would believe about the ideology. I’m so sick of the narrow minded narrative.
I’m so sick of being so incredibly angry. This has tormented mine and my family’s life and some days I’m just unsure what to do with that.
I refuse to be gaslit that biology and science aren’t real.
I'm so sorry, Alibaba. I understand your fury and I'm right there with you. The people who affirm this nonsense are abusing other people's children.
The greatest trick the Devil ever played was convincing us that he didn't exist. As I say here all the time: I may not (yet) believe in God, but this movement has made me believe Satan exists.
I appreciate that you brought up something nobody wants to talk about: what happens to these kids at 40, 50, 60? So much of this conversation focuses on what it means to be a certain gender as a young person, but almost no one considers what it’s like to be an old person going through this. So many girls (mine included) want to be boys, not men. So many boys want to be girls, not women. We tell kids life is short, but the truth is it can be long, and none of us stay young forever.
Dr. Stephen Levine, in a Genspect video from a few years ago, makes this point beautifully. He says that no one has the long view like the parents, and for this reason it's malpractice to cut them out of the conversation with gender-confused children and young adults.
One of the gifts of motherhood to me was an intergenerational view of my life, my parents' and grandparents' lives, and the kids' lives as well. Maybe I'm just a dumdum who didn't really get it until I had a child of my own, but I started to see my life as connected across time to others' lives in a specific way. We want the best for our kids because of what we've been given from previous generations, to pass down to their children and grandchildren.
Great article! Having just now red the one in the Guardian you linked to. This bit just floored me:
"We can have conversations about fairness and equity in sports. In fact, we should. But the way we are conducting them is failing us. The line between debate and dehumanization has not just been crossed – it’s been erased. Opinion is being presented as fact. Disagreement is becoming ridicule. What masquerades as dialogue is amounting to something closer to public shaming."
Talk about a pot/kettle situation. I mean, they've been screaming at us, calling us TERFs and transphobes, for even asking to have this conversation. Your response was far kinder than mine would have been.
If "the line between debate and dehumanization has not just been crossed – it’s been erased," then I guess we can't have debate! A debate means: "We're literally erasing them! We're literally denying their existence!!!"
I'm so over the hysteria and emotional dysregulation.
Exactly -- reasonable people have been trying to have the public conversation for years and have been shut down, canceled, or ignored. Many are still presently trying to have the public conversation respectfully. What this Guardian piece ignores are the many reasonable responses and voices in the public dialogue about this issue.
I will add that I believe minors should not be subjected to public shaming by the press, and I also see the damage caused to minors by internet shaming by reader comments and other posts. The Guardian piece puports to focus on those points, but instead implies that all media and all voices on the internet that disagree with boys in girls' sports are engaging in public shaming as opposed to reasonable dialogue.
Every word of this is pure gold. THANK YOU for this. There is no way this child wrote the Guardian article: anyone who knows an average 14-year-old could tell you this. This was crafted by adults with an agenda. I feel sorry for this poor young man and hope he gets out before his life is altered irreparably.
Thank you for this. I am a fellow mother of a desister. She is now 16 and safely out. I remember well that my daughter wasn't developmentally able to take the long view of life, which is why we parents are here to do that!
Just last night I was up late googling my daughter’s guidance counselor from high school. I felt like a psycho doing it but I was so angry about how she contributed to my daughter’s demise. The emotions that come throughout the day vary and a lot of times there is just so much anger and hate about what has happened to her. Grown ass adults helped put her on the trans path which hasn’t bode well for her at all. I wanted to know where this counselor was. I wanted to email letting them know how much they have ruined my kids life only to send them out in the world unprepared. All of the parenting I did unraveled in an instant.
The countless times I’ve been told I’m a bigot, transphobe, and have no decency for human beings plays through my mind. Referring to the article-how does a 4yr old transition? They don’t even know what that is. What is wrong with their parents?? It’s so interesting that folks think this is just conservatives spinning a narrative. I’ve never voted republican or democratic in my life, I’ve dated both sexes, I’ve played co-ed soccer (and there is a huge biological difference) and honestly had this not happened to my family I’m not sure what I would believe about the ideology. I’m so sick of the narrow minded narrative.
I’m so sick of being so incredibly angry. This has tormented mine and my family’s life and some days I’m just unsure what to do with that.
I refuse to be gaslit that biology and science aren’t real.
I'm so sorry, Alibaba. I understand your fury and I'm right there with you. The people who affirm this nonsense are abusing other people's children.
The greatest trick the Devil ever played was convincing us that he didn't exist. As I say here all the time: I may not (yet) believe in God, but this movement has made me believe Satan exists.
I appreciate that you brought up something nobody wants to talk about: what happens to these kids at 40, 50, 60? So much of this conversation focuses on what it means to be a certain gender as a young person, but almost no one considers what it’s like to be an old person going through this. So many girls (mine included) want to be boys, not men. So many boys want to be girls, not women. We tell kids life is short, but the truth is it can be long, and none of us stay young forever.
Dr. Stephen Levine, in a Genspect video from a few years ago, makes this point beautifully. He says that no one has the long view like the parents, and for this reason it's malpractice to cut them out of the conversation with gender-confused children and young adults.
One of the gifts of motherhood to me was an intergenerational view of my life, my parents' and grandparents' lives, and the kids' lives as well. Maybe I'm just a dumdum who didn't really get it until I had a child of my own, but I started to see my life as connected across time to others' lives in a specific way. We want the best for our kids because of what we've been given from previous generations, to pass down to their children and grandchildren.
Great article! Having just now red the one in the Guardian you linked to. This bit just floored me:
"We can have conversations about fairness and equity in sports. In fact, we should. But the way we are conducting them is failing us. The line between debate and dehumanization has not just been crossed – it’s been erased. Opinion is being presented as fact. Disagreement is becoming ridicule. What masquerades as dialogue is amounting to something closer to public shaming."
Talk about a pot/kettle situation. I mean, they've been screaming at us, calling us TERFs and transphobes, for even asking to have this conversation. Your response was far kinder than mine would have been.
If "the line between debate and dehumanization has not just been crossed – it’s been erased," then I guess we can't have debate! A debate means: "We're literally erasing them! We're literally denying their existence!!!"
I'm so over the hysteria and emotional dysregulation.
Exactly -- reasonable people have been trying to have the public conversation for years and have been shut down, canceled, or ignored. Many are still presently trying to have the public conversation respectfully. What this Guardian piece ignores are the many reasonable responses and voices in the public dialogue about this issue.
I will add that I believe minors should not be subjected to public shaming by the press, and I also see the damage caused to minors by internet shaming by reader comments and other posts. The Guardian piece puports to focus on those points, but instead implies that all media and all voices on the internet that disagree with boys in girls' sports are engaging in public shaming as opposed to reasonable dialogue.
And there is absolutely no way a 14 y/o wrote those words.
Awesome essay! This should be printed in newspapers, pasted on walls, shown on the news, and on social media everywhere.