Apparently I was an abusive mother
Apparently I was an abusive mother
So, apparently, I was an abusive mother.
I was considered high risk pregnancy at 39 years old and suffered through hyperemesis gravidarum my entire pregnancy. I worked part-time as an RN, returning to work at 9 weeks postpartum. I nursed for 18 months, willingly, to make sure my baby was getting the best care.
I attended to my daughter physically and emotionally every day. She was kept fed, bathed, clothed—and most of all LOVED. She was given and enjoyed dance classes, piano lessons, swim lessons, and swim team. She played softball, and had numerous sleepovers and parties here at home with her dearest friends.
She was homeschooled and sent to private school. I paid for her tuition by working two jobs so sh,e could be in a Christian environment. We spent countless time together doing all the girlie things she wanted to do...shopping, mani pedis, hair cuts and expensive color, and picking out a prom dress together.
We talked and talked for hours and hours. I was there for her when boyfriends treated her shabbily and a best girlfriend betrayed her.
Over the years, I sat with her at many psychiatric appointments when she had profound depression and anxiety because she wanted me there.
I know I wasn't a perfect mom. No one is. But I loved and cared for my daughter—always—to the best of my ability.
Now, she is “Trans” and she has rewritten her entire upbringing—and recast me as the villain.
Apparently, I was abusive.
How can any parent survive this post-modern tragedy?
There are some similarities between loosing a Kid while they going the wrong route on the streets with not so serios "friends". Loosing em to bad lifestyle, bad habits, drugs and they may end up leaving theire socialisation behind them. This way offered his own specific subculture and bad identities, like it is now growing in a way with many of those psychological influenced transoutcomings.
They get a new Identity kind of. They were "subliminal" influenced to re-calibrate theire memories and feelings. Nobody can change the free will of his childs to go into slavery after they gain momentum evolving theyre wings.
This isnt the fault of parents who realy cared, realy loved, and then feel the pain of loosing theire child to a monstrous abusive kraken of ideology.
All the time there are bad influence on famlily bounds. Always. Call to Army, Smell of Money, Hunt for selfish ideals or those streets with drugs, sex and rocknroll promises.
Now its time for dystopian totalitarian world. This rises kind of old religious traditions. Some civilian "values" who already were mostly build on thin ice, broke down into pieces. Some mighty People see the power of Priests in the pasts as a new way to balance powers. They not only grab your time and money, they now directly grab the hearts of your Kids to cut all belongings of values they made a new ideology on the base of oldest religion traditions.
This is like drugs a pain in the but, causing a drug like abuse of sexual possibilities. They cut right through the natural formed bonds between Parents and there Kids, destroy family as the smallest sector of cultural western civilization - they think. But this is why: They dont know and dont understand love as a binding they cant recognize it in feelings and such on. So they try to get rid of some traditions, but they are technical socialist designers and cant understand that parents hold on theyre kids through true love. Yes, often parents forget that. And this is one point they make in divorcing Parents from Kids to promote abortion as a ritual, as it is killing the bonds between mother and kid - those who had used that, must accept some kind of corruption as they are doing it against a intense feeling on the other hand (or they are already damaged in this manner).
They dont like Love as a Binding. It is irreational. It betrayes those who like to have an absolute power over souls - you cant own someone, if he still loves his parents or other way around. You cant get him to absolutly devote - but as you get a new generation and sold em to distrust those who loved them, you have a point in real power over that individual. Also you have made him subjekt to your restrictions, he is cought in a plato's allegory of the cave - mind.
Is it forever? No. Normaly not. The Problem is, as much as they obey and cut theyre own body apart and betrayed those who realy loved em there is not an easy exit strategy. But some or maybe most will realise at a later point in life, that they were wrong. If they embedded in this cult-like society its a matter of how much they have a way back.
Open your arms if they once come back. If they cought in this you cant get em out. They have to make theyre own experiences as it were theyre own decision to do so.
If you refuse, they get bounced back in that cult-like world and wont be able to try again.
Hold on all the memories you and your kid had together. Dont throw the life of your kid away in anger or due to the pain from that to grow. You knew and know your Kid. Not that brainwashed person it was made.
If they come back, help them remember and they will remember the love, the warmth if they hit on a forgivingfull atmosphere where they can heal the wounds.
But never be surprised if they walk away again. Think about the kids, lost in crime, drugs, on the streets and though they realy wanted, they realy tried to be the one they were, the bad habbits, the force and obsession for drugs is strong and can break theyre will to fight for theyre own lives - think about that:
They divorced YOU and all Values you tought em. If they want to get reunite they have to do the steps necessary. Until then, it is no way to clean theire washed brain.
Cure your Feelings and free up your feels of guilt. Its not your Fault. You didnt kick them out, they let lies gain controll over and made up for theire own life.
You dont own your Kid. You are one or the other way only a "constant companion" a tutor to your kid. A friend.
So be a friend, let em go and live whatever they do. Be constant and let em come back to that what they left behind as soon as they realize. But keep on guard: Its kind of a political thing and you may betrayed again.
Cure your heart. You as parents did well. Never allow them take away the memories, the real kid you have enclosed in your heart never believe the lies, never compromise yourself. Be proud that you are a successful parent which love and care for the "little fella".
So sorry you’re going through this. My daughter, intending to become my son, hasn’t shut me out completely yet but I see great potential for it happening. Each conversation has more time spent in disagreement than pleasantries.
I miss the days of long pleasant, often humorous talks. I pray it changes but only time will tell.