Parenting a child caught in ideological thinking, drastically changing social tones and manipulative language cast over the truth requires one to hold on tight to their sanity, with both hands.
This is a religious crusade to the people who believe in this twisted gender ideology. They sincerely believe that they are doing the right thing, are "on the right side of history", and that anyone who opposes them and their views are hateful bigots who are literally causing the death of "trans kids".
It is impossible to change their views, because as I mentioned above, this is a religious crusade for them, and for them to recognize reality would be akin to a lifelong evangelical Christian or devout Muslim to totally reject their faith. It simply isn't going to happen.
Which leads me to the next obvious, but difficult statement. When your opponents are religious zealots hellbent on getting their way, you don't play nice with them. The normal means of vigorous debate in a polite political context simply do not work. Would it have been a fruitful exercise to have a civilized debate with ISIS? Of course not, it is obvious on its face that having a polite discussion about the merits or lack thereof of establishing a radical Islamic Caliphate would have never dissuaded their members from embarking on a quest to establish their Caliphate.
The only tactics that are effective when dealing with religious zealots on a crusade are violent ones. Look how effectively the gender ideologues have weaponized fear in furtherance of their goals. Anyone who voices even mild dissent from their gender orthodoxy is cancelled, with real world consequences such as loss of employment, removal from universities, along with the litany of violent threats that are always leveled at dissenters in such cases.
In normal political disputes with an opponent who is amenable to reason, one can rely on governmental bodies and the judiciary to mediate the dispute in a fair and even-handed manner. But in this instance, the gender ideologues have captured and corrupted government and the judiciary across the Anglophone world. Thus, the normal mechanisms of political dispute are rendered totally ineffective. Moreover, since this is akin to a religious crusade, the gender ideologues are decidedly not amenable to reason, and never will be. They have decided that their position is the only morally correct one, and will use (and indeed have used) any weapon at their disposal to compel all of society to believe as they believe, or at least perform lip-service to their belief as they inflict their harmful policy prescriptions on all of society.
The sad truth is that in order to effectively combat the gender ideologues and their nonsensical religion, violent means are necessary. Criminalizing their behavior would be an obvious means to that end, but the aforementioned capture of government and the judiciary makes that all but impossible. I am not advocating any specific violent action, but much as was the case with ISIS, violence is the only solution when dealing with a group that uses violent means on their own behalf to establish their own twisted vision of what society should be.
"As parents who can see the wolf inside the proverbial sheep’s clothing, we are faced with the daily struggle to do right by our children while deflecting the poison arrows that are constantly flying toward them and ourselves".
On the subject of 'poison arrows' ..... this might sound crazy but have you tried shielding your daughter from wireless technology (microwave radiation)? Did you daughter's ROGD coincide with an increase in exposure (such as a new wifi system at school, a new classroom or a new router at home)?
I suffer terribly from microwave sickness myself (often called 'electrosensitivity'). I do not claim to have proof it causes ROGD (or any other gender / identity related condition). However, I strongly suspect there is a link (every case is different of course). Microwaves from wifi etc are known to cause depression, anxiety, mood and personality changes, brain fog, irritability and many other physical and mental symptoms. To me it is self evident that it would be a factor in the explosion of gender / identity issues we are currently witnessing.
I think it should be banned on general health grounds anyway!
If you want to explore this more feel free to check out my new blog (more to come). I am not attempting to diminish any of the other factors at play, or anybody's own 'lived experiences'. I'm just adding another can of worms to the buffet :)
Wow. This is so amazing. I have a favor to ask. The Ohio SAFE ACT desperately needs encouragement. Apparently Cincinnati Children's Hospital has sent their legions to harass the committee and bombard them with phone calls. If every parent could write the committee members, that would greatly be appreciated. 2nd and 3rd hearings are upon us this week and next. The Chair didn't give us much time and has been dragging her feet. The Sponsor is on the Committee - Gary Click. He's fantastic. https://ohiohouse.gov/committees/families-aging-and-human-services
It is truly amazing that people get harrassed and ridiculed for NOT allowing their child to be harmed. Good for you for doing all that you can to keep her safe, even through the vilifying of you. You are doing the right thing. 🙏🏻
Just tonight, before I read this, I was talking with my daughter (ie. my biologically female child), and we were talking about her friends. It came up that they all - except the few who don't know she "is trans" (ie. that she is delusional and thinks she is male, even though she knows she is female, so she is ignoring the cognitive dissonance she surely is experiencing) - believe I am a horrible person, a very bad parent and should be punished for my awful treatment of my daughter, in that I am not joining in the delusion and am actively discouraging her from taking steps to drastically medically alter her perfectly healthy body and risk her health, in order to make it appear like a male body. In other words, all of her friends are part of this Cult. It could make one doubt one's resolve to support reality. There are, however, two very strong reasons I will not bend. First and foremost, having thoroughly researched the issue over the last 3 years, listening to and reading every bit of information I can find on both sides of the issue and thinking long and hard for hundreds of hours about the subject, talking to the people I can trust, writing my thoughts down, I have come to the very strong conclusion that Gender Ideology is Cult-like and is wrong, and that to "affirm" is to do harm. Therefore, I will never stop fighting for my daughter's safety, both physically and psychologically, no matter that a bunch of teenagers who would otherwise think I was a perfectly fine parent think I'm just the worst. The second reason is what gives me some hope that my daughter is not 100% sucked in. She has made it clear that she believes her friends are way too harsh in their judgment, and that I am a very loving parent. I think that, if she truly believed what the Cult says - that any parent who doesn't affirm is "transphobic," unsupportive and an unfit parent - she would agree with her friends and think I was unfit. That she knows that is not the case means some part of her understands that "affirmation" is not necessarily the right thing. It means she acknowledges that the basic tenets of Gender Ideology might be wrong. I think many of our kids secretly doubt what they espouse. Once the house of cards that is Gender Ideology begins to crumble, I believe many of them will come to realize they are victims of a Cult and they will come out of it with an understanding of what can happen when one is not diligent in recognizing group-think. They will be stronger, more sensitive people and they will, hopefully, protect the next generation from Cults like Gender Ideology. These thoughts maintain my sanity.
I ache for you and for me and for all parents whose children have been caught up in this. My daughter is older and did not start claiming a "non-binary" identity and the associated clothing/haircut/name alteration until four years at a liberal college. She was thoroughly indoctrinated in gender ideology there, and after graduation moved to the Twin Cities and began to change. She only told me a year ago of her identification as non-binary and has gotten more strident and insistent that I call her "they" and by her "real" name. My fears are that she will take this further and undergo medical maiming. Because she is older, there is not a damn thing I can do but despair. She is denying who she was, a lovely and seemingly well-adjusted girl child who showed absolutely no sign of gender dysphoria ever. And because she denies her past, she denies our shared history and our relationship, and I just feel lost and on the verge of collapse most of the time. Like so many of the other responders here, I feel completely at odds with my liberal friends, with the Democratic party that I have supported all my adult life, with the media, with the medical and educational and psychological establishments that have lost their collective minds. Sometimes I think parents are more likely to be suicide risks in this gender ideology insanity. The grief and bewilderment and loss is too much to bear so much of the time.
I am so terribly sorry to read about all you have been through. I admire your tenacity and determination to love - and protect - your daughter during this difficult season and sincerely hope that your voice rises with others going through similar challenges. Be strong! Our young people need many more like you.
Tomorrow at 8:30pm ireland time, Stella O'Malley is having a webinar about parental estrangement. I'm a recent subscriber to her substack... just today actually. Very helpful information if you have a child caught in the gender web.
I'm the Aunt, and I support my sister and brother-in-law in confirming the beautiful expression of individuality of the female child. I'm the Aunt that buys the cool, gender-non conforming clothes. As I've told my niece, I don't care if you wear gender-stereotype non-conforming clothes, but you've got to have style. At age 14yo, so far, she's has been receptive to my input. But I'm having a hard time, especially today. I see my sister is such distress... so timely, this testimony. I am doing my best to educate and inform family, friends, neighbors, local politicians... I am doing my best to support my sister and her incredible beautiful human 14yo teenager. I'm in healthcare, and I am so disappointed and angry over the deception and destructive endorsement of "gender ideology" and medical interventions. I'm a California liberal, and I am furious with the directive of Biden, imploring parents to "affirm." And I am not the parent. So in my despair and distress, I'll look to you, and you look to me.... and let's get through this together -- hopefully with physically intact young women... and a lot of love for these beautiful gender-stereotype non-conforming humans.
Thank you for your courage. I pray that we all see the end of this nightmare. As a great grandma, do not know how long I will be around. However, with mothers such as yourself, the fight will continue. The tide is turning, even as the war goes on. Thinking of you with love and respect and praying for justice.
Thank you! We have a similar situation with ultra liberal friends and relatives who want to know why we won't support our child. I feel like I've been under siege for three years now. I also fear losing my mind.
God! What a brave, sane and articulate lady and mother you are! I am crying for you, and then raging again against this madness. The "gender ideology" will one day be torn down only as a result of your words, your passion, your unflagging efforts. Hugs and best wishes, Una
Great work. It's so hard. It's absolutely crushing. Stand by your daughter, of course you will, you know you're right. Thanks so much for taking the time to write this. It's very helpful. We're not alone.
This is a religious crusade to the people who believe in this twisted gender ideology. They sincerely believe that they are doing the right thing, are "on the right side of history", and that anyone who opposes them and their views are hateful bigots who are literally causing the death of "trans kids".
It is impossible to change their views, because as I mentioned above, this is a religious crusade for them, and for them to recognize reality would be akin to a lifelong evangelical Christian or devout Muslim to totally reject their faith. It simply isn't going to happen.
Which leads me to the next obvious, but difficult statement. When your opponents are religious zealots hellbent on getting their way, you don't play nice with them. The normal means of vigorous debate in a polite political context simply do not work. Would it have been a fruitful exercise to have a civilized debate with ISIS? Of course not, it is obvious on its face that having a polite discussion about the merits or lack thereof of establishing a radical Islamic Caliphate would have never dissuaded their members from embarking on a quest to establish their Caliphate.
The only tactics that are effective when dealing with religious zealots on a crusade are violent ones. Look how effectively the gender ideologues have weaponized fear in furtherance of their goals. Anyone who voices even mild dissent from their gender orthodoxy is cancelled, with real world consequences such as loss of employment, removal from universities, along with the litany of violent threats that are always leveled at dissenters in such cases.
In normal political disputes with an opponent who is amenable to reason, one can rely on governmental bodies and the judiciary to mediate the dispute in a fair and even-handed manner. But in this instance, the gender ideologues have captured and corrupted government and the judiciary across the Anglophone world. Thus, the normal mechanisms of political dispute are rendered totally ineffective. Moreover, since this is akin to a religious crusade, the gender ideologues are decidedly not amenable to reason, and never will be. They have decided that their position is the only morally correct one, and will use (and indeed have used) any weapon at their disposal to compel all of society to believe as they believe, or at least perform lip-service to their belief as they inflict their harmful policy prescriptions on all of society.
The sad truth is that in order to effectively combat the gender ideologues and their nonsensical religion, violent means are necessary. Criminalizing their behavior would be an obvious means to that end, but the aforementioned capture of government and the judiciary makes that all but impossible. I am not advocating any specific violent action, but much as was the case with ISIS, violence is the only solution when dealing with a group that uses violent means on their own behalf to establish their own twisted vision of what society should be.
"As parents who can see the wolf inside the proverbial sheep’s clothing, we are faced with the daily struggle to do right by our children while deflecting the poison arrows that are constantly flying toward them and ourselves".
On the subject of 'poison arrows' ..... this might sound crazy but have you tried shielding your daughter from wireless technology (microwave radiation)? Did you daughter's ROGD coincide with an increase in exposure (such as a new wifi system at school, a new classroom or a new router at home)?
I suffer terribly from microwave sickness myself (often called 'electrosensitivity'). I do not claim to have proof it causes ROGD (or any other gender / identity related condition). However, I strongly suspect there is a link (every case is different of course). Microwaves from wifi etc are known to cause depression, anxiety, mood and personality changes, brain fog, irritability and many other physical and mental symptoms. To me it is self evident that it would be a factor in the explosion of gender / identity issues we are currently witnessing.
I think it should be banned on general health grounds anyway!
If you want to explore this more feel free to check out my new blog (more to come). I am not attempting to diminish any of the other factors at play, or anybody's own 'lived experiences'. I'm just adding another can of worms to the buffet :)
https://planetarydetox.substack.com/
Wow. This is so amazing. I have a favor to ask. The Ohio SAFE ACT desperately needs encouragement. Apparently Cincinnati Children's Hospital has sent their legions to harass the committee and bombard them with phone calls. If every parent could write the committee members, that would greatly be appreciated. 2nd and 3rd hearings are upon us this week and next. The Chair didn't give us much time and has been dragging her feet. The Sponsor is on the Committee - Gary Click. He's fantastic. https://ohiohouse.gov/committees/families-aging-and-human-services
It is truly amazing that people get harrassed and ridiculed for NOT allowing their child to be harmed. Good for you for doing all that you can to keep her safe, even through the vilifying of you. You are doing the right thing. 🙏🏻
Just tonight, before I read this, I was talking with my daughter (ie. my biologically female child), and we were talking about her friends. It came up that they all - except the few who don't know she "is trans" (ie. that she is delusional and thinks she is male, even though she knows she is female, so she is ignoring the cognitive dissonance she surely is experiencing) - believe I am a horrible person, a very bad parent and should be punished for my awful treatment of my daughter, in that I am not joining in the delusion and am actively discouraging her from taking steps to drastically medically alter her perfectly healthy body and risk her health, in order to make it appear like a male body. In other words, all of her friends are part of this Cult. It could make one doubt one's resolve to support reality. There are, however, two very strong reasons I will not bend. First and foremost, having thoroughly researched the issue over the last 3 years, listening to and reading every bit of information I can find on both sides of the issue and thinking long and hard for hundreds of hours about the subject, talking to the people I can trust, writing my thoughts down, I have come to the very strong conclusion that Gender Ideology is Cult-like and is wrong, and that to "affirm" is to do harm. Therefore, I will never stop fighting for my daughter's safety, both physically and psychologically, no matter that a bunch of teenagers who would otherwise think I was a perfectly fine parent think I'm just the worst. The second reason is what gives me some hope that my daughter is not 100% sucked in. She has made it clear that she believes her friends are way too harsh in their judgment, and that I am a very loving parent. I think that, if she truly believed what the Cult says - that any parent who doesn't affirm is "transphobic," unsupportive and an unfit parent - she would agree with her friends and think I was unfit. That she knows that is not the case means some part of her understands that "affirmation" is not necessarily the right thing. It means she acknowledges that the basic tenets of Gender Ideology might be wrong. I think many of our kids secretly doubt what they espouse. Once the house of cards that is Gender Ideology begins to crumble, I believe many of them will come to realize they are victims of a Cult and they will come out of it with an understanding of what can happen when one is not diligent in recognizing group-think. They will be stronger, more sensitive people and they will, hopefully, protect the next generation from Cults like Gender Ideology. These thoughts maintain my sanity.
I ache for you and for me and for all parents whose children have been caught up in this. My daughter is older and did not start claiming a "non-binary" identity and the associated clothing/haircut/name alteration until four years at a liberal college. She was thoroughly indoctrinated in gender ideology there, and after graduation moved to the Twin Cities and began to change. She only told me a year ago of her identification as non-binary and has gotten more strident and insistent that I call her "they" and by her "real" name. My fears are that she will take this further and undergo medical maiming. Because she is older, there is not a damn thing I can do but despair. She is denying who she was, a lovely and seemingly well-adjusted girl child who showed absolutely no sign of gender dysphoria ever. And because she denies her past, she denies our shared history and our relationship, and I just feel lost and on the verge of collapse most of the time. Like so many of the other responders here, I feel completely at odds with my liberal friends, with the Democratic party that I have supported all my adult life, with the media, with the medical and educational and psychological establishments that have lost their collective minds. Sometimes I think parents are more likely to be suicide risks in this gender ideology insanity. The grief and bewilderment and loss is too much to bear so much of the time.
I am so terribly sorry to read about all you have been through. I admire your tenacity and determination to love - and protect - your daughter during this difficult season and sincerely hope that your voice rises with others going through similar challenges. Be strong! Our young people need many more like you.
Tomorrow at 8:30pm ireland time, Stella O'Malley is having a webinar about parental estrangement. I'm a recent subscriber to her substack... just today actually. Very helpful information if you have a child caught in the gender web.
://twitter.com/stellaomalley3/status/1524084389877059584?t=5mob1dksxR8CQhBeEoBg4Q&s=19
What a powerful piece. Mothers--we fight.
I'm the Aunt, and I support my sister and brother-in-law in confirming the beautiful expression of individuality of the female child. I'm the Aunt that buys the cool, gender-non conforming clothes. As I've told my niece, I don't care if you wear gender-stereotype non-conforming clothes, but you've got to have style. At age 14yo, so far, she's has been receptive to my input. But I'm having a hard time, especially today. I see my sister is such distress... so timely, this testimony. I am doing my best to educate and inform family, friends, neighbors, local politicians... I am doing my best to support my sister and her incredible beautiful human 14yo teenager. I'm in healthcare, and I am so disappointed and angry over the deception and destructive endorsement of "gender ideology" and medical interventions. I'm a California liberal, and I am furious with the directive of Biden, imploring parents to "affirm." And I am not the parent. So in my despair and distress, I'll look to you, and you look to me.... and let's get through this together -- hopefully with physically intact young women... and a lot of love for these beautiful gender-stereotype non-conforming humans.
Thank you for your courage. I pray that we all see the end of this nightmare. As a great grandma, do not know how long I will be around. However, with mothers such as yourself, the fight will continue. The tide is turning, even as the war goes on. Thinking of you with love and respect and praying for justice.
Thank you! We have a similar situation with ultra liberal friends and relatives who want to know why we won't support our child. I feel like I've been under siege for three years now. I also fear losing my mind.
God! What a brave, sane and articulate lady and mother you are! I am crying for you, and then raging again against this madness. The "gender ideology" will one day be torn down only as a result of your words, your passion, your unflagging efforts. Hugs and best wishes, Una
Thanks for sharing your troubles. You are sane. Keep using your hurts to fuel the fight.
I have survived. Instead of feeling angry now about the damage already done I use places such as this to share the pain.
Very brave of you and I feel sure your daughter will be so thankful soon. I hope you do have support for yourself nearby.
Great work. It's so hard. It's absolutely crushing. Stand by your daughter, of course you will, you know you're right. Thanks so much for taking the time to write this. It's very helpful. We're not alone.