Dead Name
www.pittparents.com
He told me he’s a girl.
He told me he has a new name.
He told me that
the baby boy I cherished, loved, protected… is gone.
The replacement is alien to me… mean, disconnected, punitive.
He told me the name I chose for him is his deadname.
Like my grandfather who I named him for… who was my person…
Gone.
And now, he says he’s alive, and the same, but it seems… he merely shifted his desired deadness.
To my heart.
My sweet baby boy and his deadname just turned 30. I decided to try one last time, with all my might, to snap him out of it. He told me he is a "fully actualized woman" and that he felt unsafe in my home. Who are they who cooked up this "deadname"? Clearly not our sons & daughters. Hugs & Prayers <3
The likes and affirmation received online are not real, but it is currency in this fake world, devalued of meaning. It's hard to wait outside the bubble where my husband and her siblings wait for her with open arms to emerge.