Dead Name
He told me he’s a girl.
He told me he has a new name.
He told me that
the baby boy I cherished, loved, protected… is gone.
The replacement is alien to me… mean, disconnected, punitive.
He told me the name I chose for him is his deadname.
Like my grandfather who I named him for… who was my person…
Gone.
And now, he says he’s alive, and the same, but it seems… he merely shifted his desired deadness.
To my heart.
The term "dead name" is abusive. When individuals use "dead name" to refer to their original name it is self-abuse.
No powerful person considers their younger self "dead". That is violence against the self.
That any psychologist or other so-called "healing" professional uses or approves the term "dead name" is a abusive of their patients/clients because they are teaching individuals to hate themselves.
My daughter says her given name is a trigger so we shouldn’t use it. I say using her new name is a trigger for me. Whose trigger is more important?