Dead Name He told me he’s a girl. He told me he has a new name. The baby boy I cherished, loved, protected…..gone. The replacement is alien to me….mean, disconnected, punitive. He told me the name I chose for him is his deadname. Like my grandfather who I named him for….who was my person….
My sweet baby boy and his deadname just turned 30. I decided to try one last time, with all my might, to snap him out of it. He told me he is a "fully actualized woman" and that he felt unsafe in my home. Who are they who cooked up this "deadname"? Clearly not our sons & daughters. Hugs & Prayers <3
The likes and affirmation received online are not real, but it is currency in this fake world, devalued of meaning. It's hard to wait outside the bubble where my husband and her siblings wait for her with open arms to emerge.
He is not alive. He has left his brain somewhere else. You should give him hints about where and how to find his brain again. You will have to "support" i.e. not criticize, show anger, have great patience while he finds his brain again....or continue to wait until about 25.....
I don't know. I really don't. Sometimes I wonder if it's the desire to destroy their family so they can be a victim - 'kicked out' of an 'abusive' home, when it's a confabulation.
"When Lundstrum heard about a Democrat lawmaker willing to oppose transgender treatments for minors in Georgia, she contacted his office to offer moral support. But a staffer told her that the legislator faced immense blowback, so he bowed out.
Leaders need to set aside political agendas, Lundstrum said, and drill down to the core issue: What influences might be compelling children to feel they need to change their bodies dramatically?
“We should be locking arms across the political aisle and telling these kids they are incredible just the way they are,” she said. “If we don’t, I think that, in 10 years or less, as the science comes out, people are going to look back and say, ‘I can’t believe what we’ve done.’”
Newgent spoke out:
"Newgent says the transgender-rights movement is not motivated by “love and acceptance,” as society was led to believe. Instead, it’s about making money. “Every child that they say is ‘transgender’ equals $1.3 million” for the medical and pharmaceutical industries, Newgent said."
I’m so sorry, and I completely understand. I have been where you are. If you are not already connected with one of the support groups, please consider joining GDSN and attending one of their weekly sessions. They saved me when I had hit bottom and didn’t think I could tolerate this any more. It also helps to get involved in activist efforts. Consider joining OurDuty members and others at the next rally. The gaslighting and isolation makes things 1,000 times worse.
This is heartbreaking. I am so sorry for all going through this agony, and betrayal.
I'm wondering if a way to reach vulnerable kids would be to send them the photos and regrets of those other children who have destroyed their health. I think many who are young are not caring now about health, but when a young woman notices she is balding by age 20, with her very facial/skull structure changed into a male parody and she is growing hair all over, that might have more impact. Trying to find any way to reach them if love and common sense aren't working....
I am wanting to pick the best school district candidate for the upcoming election and does anyone know of an article like this to send to the candidate who is not a "transman" to find out if they would be better? Or to reach who might be the winner? I will not vote for that woman pretending to be a woke man.
I wish showing them videos and stories of detransitioners or articles and studies worked. Unfortunately kids caught up in this cannot take this info in. We’re all just stumbling in the dark together, trying to find the right path, but for many of us — not all kids/families are the same — steering clear of gender and working to strengthen family bonds is the best way forward, showing your child that you are loving, safe, solid, and stable so that you can be the lighthouse, the landing point when they need you. We may not be able to stop our children from transitioning once they’re 18, but maybe we can keep them from doing too much damage by letting them know there will always be a place to come back to.
I hate this - another boy tricked, stolen, manipulated…lost. My family member’s son has experienced this same thing. How could they possibly think they are a girl? It’s insanity. A mad and torturing reality. It is worse than a nightmare because we are not dreaming. Your pain is felt by all of us who have been caught in this transgender snare. I hate this more every day. I am sorry for your loss 🥲
So very true about the alien that replaces our children. Mine seethes with rage and hatred — always talking about how we have done nothing for him that we weren't obligated to because we brought him into this world. About how he owes us nothing — no respect, no kindness, because he didn't ask to be born. He loathes himself and cannot stand that we adore him. This is what the cult feeds on. They are parasites.
Were you "Obliged" to buy him Christmas and Birthday presents? I'm sure you can find other kindnesses that you have done over the years, to confront him with. Ask for them back, or the dollar equivalent!
(During the Depression my mom just got an orange for one Christmas, that was in Northern Illinois)
Ask him: "What child ever asked to be born, please name just one and oh yes, please provide some documentation!"
Our children cannot help themselves. This comes from a place of self-hatred and fear. We have to remember this and respond with love. My child lashes out at me both as a way to push me away and as a test to make sure I will always be there — a natural part of adolescence, twisted by this monstrosity. There is nothing to be gained by making my child feel even worse about himself than he already does. My successes are when I can take something ugly he’s said and shift it to a larger discussion by asking questions and getting him thinking and talking. It takes practice and you have to develop a thick skin, but it makes a huge difference.
Where do you suppose that self-hatred comes from? Internalized peer rejection? My son desperately wanted to be popular but, for no obvious reason, had a terrible time making friends. He went from a kind, innocent child to a rage-filled teenager.
My son has long-standing mental health issues and is likely somewhere on the autism spectrum. He’s a smart, handsome kid. He had friends when he was younger, but had a difficult time navigating social situations and has social anxiety now. He was physically assaulted and bullied in middle school because he was a gentle kid with long hair. I think that kind of trauma is hard for some kids to work through, especially if they’re closed down like he is, but ultimately some of this is just how he’s wired. I wish I understood him but I don’t get it at all. I do think they internalize the rejection. Whereas at any other time, there would be support for just that, now the solution is a broadly-encouraged physical escape to a new body. It’s tremendously screwed up.
Exact same situation with our son. We adored him. It gave us joy to give to him, both of ourselves and materially. Now we are scum, oppressors, privileged "pigs."
Did we spoil our kids? Is this what happens when parental overvaluation meets mental illness meets a narcissistic generation meets social justice warriors who've gone off the rails meets pedos who are jumping in to get what they can get?
I feel your sadness and loss. God bless you. I miss saying my daughter's name aloud to her. I can't use the new name because it hurts too much, so I call her nothing. Hey, you. They (and by "they" I mean the professionals who boss us around, the cult leaders) believe our feelings don't matter. It's truly remarkable. We would do anything for our children and have. We are their protectors. Not these criminals butchering children, telling them lies.
I struggled so much with the pressure that was put on me to call my daughter by her new male name. I can't do it - I just can't because it hurts too much also. Thank you for describing what I also do - which is to dodge calling her any pronoun.
So very sad! Yes, the “dead name” is meant to cause pain to those who cared for him! It’s meant to hurt others. You lost a son , because of an ideology that is dangerous to all!
Wow! I feel this. Except my daughter says she is a he. This is a powerful word spoken. It's very real severe grief, but when or if you try to express this to the child we are called transphobic or awful or a bad parent for feeling this way. The truth is, this Cult is a one way street. Only the transgender people get to have their feelings. Ours as parents don't matter. At least this has been our situation 💔
I really feel sorry for anyone who has to go through this. As a mother and grandmother, I can only think this would hurt more than losing a child to a terrible disease or accident. My condolences!
My sweet baby boy and his deadname just turned 30. I decided to try one last time, with all my might, to snap him out of it. He told me he is a "fully actualized woman" and that he felt unsafe in my home. Who are they who cooked up this "deadname"? Clearly not our sons & daughters. Hugs & Prayers <3
The likes and affirmation received online are not real, but it is currency in this fake world, devalued of meaning. It's hard to wait outside the bubble where my husband and her siblings wait for her with open arms to emerge.
He is not alive. He has left his brain somewhere else. You should give him hints about where and how to find his brain again. You will have to "support" i.e. not criticize, show anger, have great patience while he finds his brain again....or continue to wait until about 25.....
I’m so very sorry.
I don't know. I really don't. Sometimes I wonder if it's the desire to destroy their family so they can be a victim - 'kicked out' of an 'abusive' home, when it's a confabulation.
Lovely, painful, poem.
There's an important case in AR:
"Future of Child Transgender Surgeries to Be Decided in Pivotal Trial
39 states take sides in challenge of Arkansas ban on transgender treatments of minors"
https://www.theepochtimes.com/39-states-take-sides-in-pivotal-trial-over-ban-on-child-transgender-surgeries_4785726.html?
"When Lundstrum heard about a Democrat lawmaker willing to oppose transgender treatments for minors in Georgia, she contacted his office to offer moral support. But a staffer told her that the legislator faced immense blowback, so he bowed out.
Leaders need to set aside political agendas, Lundstrum said, and drill down to the core issue: What influences might be compelling children to feel they need to change their bodies dramatically?
“We should be locking arms across the political aisle and telling these kids they are incredible just the way they are,” she said. “If we don’t, I think that, in 10 years or less, as the science comes out, people are going to look back and say, ‘I can’t believe what we’ve done.’”
Newgent spoke out:
"Newgent says the transgender-rights movement is not motivated by “love and acceptance,” as society was led to believe. Instead, it’s about making money. “Every child that they say is ‘transgender’ equals $1.3 million” for the medical and pharmaceutical industries, Newgent said."
You don't have to call him anything other than the name you gave him.
Tell him that only narcissists choose their own name - I don't think anyone would like to be accused of that.
I feel every word you wrote, except mine is the opposite gender. There are Days I just want to die.
I’m so sorry, and I completely understand. I have been where you are. If you are not already connected with one of the support groups, please consider joining GDSN and attending one of their weekly sessions. They saved me when I had hit bottom and didn’t think I could tolerate this any more. It also helps to get involved in activist efforts. Consider joining OurDuty members and others at the next rally. The gaslighting and isolation makes things 1,000 times worse.
This is heartbreaking. I am so sorry for all going through this agony, and betrayal.
I'm wondering if a way to reach vulnerable kids would be to send them the photos and regrets of those other children who have destroyed their health. I think many who are young are not caring now about health, but when a young woman notices she is balding by age 20, with her very facial/skull structure changed into a male parody and she is growing hair all over, that might have more impact. Trying to find any way to reach them if love and common sense aren't working....
I am wanting to pick the best school district candidate for the upcoming election and does anyone know of an article like this to send to the candidate who is not a "transman" to find out if they would be better? Or to reach who might be the winner? I will not vote for that woman pretending to be a woke man.
I wish showing them videos and stories of detransitioners or articles and studies worked. Unfortunately kids caught up in this cannot take this info in. We’re all just stumbling in the dark together, trying to find the right path, but for many of us — not all kids/families are the same — steering clear of gender and working to strengthen family bonds is the best way forward, showing your child that you are loving, safe, solid, and stable so that you can be the lighthouse, the landing point when they need you. We may not be able to stop our children from transitioning once they’re 18, but maybe we can keep them from doing too much damage by letting them know there will always be a place to come back to.
😢❤️
I hate this - another boy tricked, stolen, manipulated…lost. My family member’s son has experienced this same thing. How could they possibly think they are a girl? It’s insanity. A mad and torturing reality. It is worse than a nightmare because we are not dreaming. Your pain is felt by all of us who have been caught in this transgender snare. I hate this more every day. I am sorry for your loss 🥲
So very true about the alien that replaces our children. Mine seethes with rage and hatred — always talking about how we have done nothing for him that we weren't obligated to because we brought him into this world. About how he owes us nothing — no respect, no kindness, because he didn't ask to be born. He loathes himself and cannot stand that we adore him. This is what the cult feeds on. They are parasites.
Were you "Obliged" to buy him Christmas and Birthday presents? I'm sure you can find other kindnesses that you have done over the years, to confront him with. Ask for them back, or the dollar equivalent!
(During the Depression my mom just got an orange for one Christmas, that was in Northern Illinois)
Ask him: "What child ever asked to be born, please name just one and oh yes, please provide some documentation!"
Our children cannot help themselves. This comes from a place of self-hatred and fear. We have to remember this and respond with love. My child lashes out at me both as a way to push me away and as a test to make sure I will always be there — a natural part of adolescence, twisted by this monstrosity. There is nothing to be gained by making my child feel even worse about himself than he already does. My successes are when I can take something ugly he’s said and shift it to a larger discussion by asking questions and getting him thinking and talking. It takes practice and you have to develop a thick skin, but it makes a huge difference.
Where do you suppose that self-hatred comes from? Internalized peer rejection? My son desperately wanted to be popular but, for no obvious reason, had a terrible time making friends. He went from a kind, innocent child to a rage-filled teenager.
My son has long-standing mental health issues and is likely somewhere on the autism spectrum. He’s a smart, handsome kid. He had friends when he was younger, but had a difficult time navigating social situations and has social anxiety now. He was physically assaulted and bullied in middle school because he was a gentle kid with long hair. I think that kind of trauma is hard for some kids to work through, especially if they’re closed down like he is, but ultimately some of this is just how he’s wired. I wish I understood him but I don’t get it at all. I do think they internalize the rejection. Whereas at any other time, there would be support for just that, now the solution is a broadly-encouraged physical escape to a new body. It’s tremendously screwed up.
Exact same situation with our son. We adored him. It gave us joy to give to him, both of ourselves and materially. Now we are scum, oppressors, privileged "pigs."
Did we spoil our kids? Is this what happens when parental overvaluation meets mental illness meets a narcissistic generation meets social justice warriors who've gone off the rails meets pedos who are jumping in to get what they can get?
I feel your sadness and loss. God bless you. I miss saying my daughter's name aloud to her. I can't use the new name because it hurts too much, so I call her nothing. Hey, you. They (and by "they" I mean the professionals who boss us around, the cult leaders) believe our feelings don't matter. It's truly remarkable. We would do anything for our children and have. We are their protectors. Not these criminals butchering children, telling them lies.
I struggled so much with the pressure that was put on me to call my daughter by her new male name. I can't do it - I just can't because it hurts too much also. Thank you for describing what I also do - which is to dodge calling her any pronoun.
😭😭😭
So very sad! Yes, the “dead name” is meant to cause pain to those who cared for him! It’s meant to hurt others. You lost a son , because of an ideology that is dangerous to all!
Wow! I feel this. Except my daughter says she is a he. This is a powerful word spoken. It's very real severe grief, but when or if you try to express this to the child we are called transphobic or awful or a bad parent for feeling this way. The truth is, this Cult is a one way street. Only the transgender people get to have their feelings. Ours as parents don't matter. At least this has been our situation 💔
I’m in the same boat. 😭
I'm so sorry💔🙏
I really feel sorry for anyone who has to go through this. As a mother and grandmother, I can only think this would hurt more than losing a child to a terrible disease or accident. My condolences!