Lately, I’m seeing more comments from parents of boys. Are the vulnerable boys being indoctrinated now such that we are seeing it more? I also wonder what the sex ratio is of those who cut off their family? Is there a way to capture the data?
Thanks. We have made it clear that we consider him our son and always will, but that we love him unconditionally and will always be here for him. Sometimes he believes that and other times I think he feels betrayed by us. But we are gently steadfast. After some bumpy spots he still says he loves us and even tho we don’t support him financially (other than a place to stay) he lives with us and will hug us and somewhat engage. He prefers to isolate but we do what we can to engage him.
I imagine he dresses like a woman, which must feel strange. Personally, the mixing of the sexes in one person has always struck me as odd. Because of that, I always found comedians who did drag, like Flip Wilson and Milton Berle, hilarious. Don't trans women realize how ridiculous they look?
I support all detransitioners, too! Walking it back takes courage and I commend every person who changes their mind and returns to the life that they were meant to live. Once these innocent minds are manipulated by the internet, peer pressure, counselors, teachers, coaches, doctors, therapists and other family members or family friends it becomes so difficult for these kids to push back or turn around or escape. It seems there is only one way down the trans rabbit hole and that there is no “exit”. Rebellion is indeed normal for all teens as it is their way of learning boundaries and testing the water for when they leave home for college or for a job or to be in their own. It is part of learning and growing up. However, with this trans ideology it tricks these kids into rebelling for all the wrong reasons. It brainwashes them into thinking their parents are the bad guys when nothing could be further from the truth. This cult encourages these kids to trust strangers and we all know about stranger danger.
After five long years of hell, my son and I finally have a good relationship. He knows where I stand. I accept but I do not affirm. However, whenever yous I say he. He corrects me by saying she. I just bypass it and continue the conversation and he does not argue back. I want to correct him every time but I'm told it is not my job to fix him only to love him as is and pray. Would I only be making it worse by correcting him every time? Or should I just leave it alone?
Stick with passive-aggression. It can be an extremely useful conscious technique. A good definition of passive-aggression is anything that can be excused with, "I didn't do anything. I just didn't DO something."
So don't draw attention to the issue by trying to correct him. That's doing something.
But keep automatically saying "he" and passively bypassing it when he corrects you. (In your mind: "I didn't do anything. I just didn't say 'she.' ")
Each tiny instance brings him back to the real world. He can jump right out again, but it's an effort. Over and over, a thousand thousand times, he is brought back to the real world and has to make the effort to jump out again. In this way, he can't be cemented into that fantasy lobby. He is always and forever being brought, even for instant, back to the real world.
Keeping him rooted in reality: that's your goal. Someday this Trans panic will end, and then he'll finally simply stay.
My thought is just leave it alone and continue as you are currently doing. I hope your son will be able to walk it back and come to accept his natural body and true sex.
So he did all this after he came of age, which means you have no authority over him. Do you think he's actually trans? As a child, did he like to dress up in girls' clothes or anything like that?
I do not believe he is. He is a twin and they were both very active typical boys growing up. He was born with a heart defect and had 7 surgeries by 19. We feel like he always may have felt cheated in life and "weaker" than his male friends. 🤷
It seems that the more problems a person has, the more attractive being trans seems to be. They see it as a way to start over with a completely new life as a different person, but it never works. They play the part of the other sex for a while and then realize that they are just performing for themselves. I hope your son hasn't had any surgeries.
I agree with you. I know in my heart if he had the proper therapy this wouldn't be taking so long but everyone he has seen has been woke and just convinces him more that he's a woman. It took 4 years of estrangement and verbal abuse from him and love and patience from his dad and me to get where we are. I'm so afraid of losing him again so I walk on egg shells avoiding name/pronouns. He knows I don't believe him but he also knows how much he's loved. My fear is one day love won't be enough. I'm trusting in the testimonies from detransitioners to hold my ground.
My son is trapped in this cycle, even as his hopes and dreams and incredible talent are all pushed to the side because of hyper fixation. Ever a victim and trapped with untreated depression, self harm, and an eating disorder. We love him, yet don’t affirm so we are the toxic ones according to others. We see more of his complete story than anyone else in his life, yet we are the ones “who are bigoted and don’t care.” We pray and love and pray some more that common sense and a fast developing prefrontal cortex will help bring him to the surface. We love him so much and it devastating to see him waste away.
The way that the trans influencers turn children against their parents is the most immoral thing they are doing. I'm sorry you are having to experience this.
This is a dangerous time for your son. Children need the support of their parents (assuming they are good parents). Once a child allows himself to be estranged from his parents, he may suddenly feel alone in the world. And if he eventually comes to feel that he treated his parents unfairly and can't make amends with them, all those feelings combined can lead to suicide. You need to make it clear that you don't agree with the whole trans thing, but that you still love him and will be there for him if he changes his mind.
The more time passes, the more my position on transgenderism is hardening. I see trans activists as being almost evil. My understanding is that men with autogynephilia were the driving force behind the movement, and that's a sexual fetish. Every idea and/or position they have taken has been wrong, selfish, or incautious at best:
* Children, despite their immaturity, should be free to decide if they are the wrong sex.
* Transgenderism should always be affirmed. No other causes should be considered.
* Transgenderism has not become a fad despite evidence to the contrary.
* The body isn't harmed by puberty blockers or cross-sex hormones, if the transitioner changes his or her mind.
* Gender and sex are different things.
* Any human being can change his or her gender or sex.
* "Gender identity" is separate from a person's body, and is the true measure of men and women.
* Thus, trans women are "real" women, and trans men are "real" men. To refuse to accept them as "real" is a form of bigotry.
* Women owe it to men to accept them into their private spaces, despite the danger that men pose to women.
* The class of "women" is available to men to alter and redefine as they please.
* There is no unfairness to trans women entering women's sports because estrogen makes them as weak as women.
* Trans women are not a danger to women in their private spaces because they identify as women.
* Trans people feel an existential pain for having to live in a body that does not suit their identity, and therefore should be treated with exaggerated respect and delicacy.
* Part of that respect is to use their special pronouns and their special vocabulary, no matter how unnatural or contrary to evidence the language may be.
* Children who are not allowed to transition are likely to commit suicide.
Trans activists, through the promotion of all of these lies, are trying to increase their numbers in the world. They have absolutely no regard for either children or women. They won't even acknowledge that being trans has become a fad among children, or that the medical treatments harm a child's body and eventually makes the child infertile. They couldn't care less about the integrity of women's spaces or sports. By pushing their ideology into all parts of society, they are destroying lives and relationships, and they have set humanity on an illogical course away from science.
I have come to believe that trans people are narcissists. Once they transition, "living the illusion" becomes the central purpose of their lives. This brings me to the topic of "gender identity". Trans women would like us to believe that they are "real" women because they have the same "gender identity" that women do, but they don't. Not being stupid, they know they aren't real women, so eventually they simply accept their identity as "trans" women, though they continue to put on a show to themselves and the world.
I don't mean to encourage people to hate trans activists, since hate is bad for the soul. But there is no doubt that they constitute an incredibly selfish group which is promoting and pandering in lies and pretense. Almost everything they stand for is wrong and serves no one but themselves.
[If I missed some of the lies they are promoting, let me know and I'll add them to this comment.]
Excellent summary. It’s a cult. I have a lot of hate for the leaders in this. They seem to be sadists. And why shouldn’t I hate someone who harms someone else, their family and society?
The attitude of trans activists is utterly astonishing to me. It is entirely selfish. They won't accept even the slightest pushback against their ideas. For example, it is totally obvious that being trans has become fad, yet they won't admit that even ONE of the kids who has "transitioned" might have been influenced. It is because they are so intransigent that they must be forcefully resisted.
The other thing that astonishes me is how their ideas spread like a virus. Liberals everywhere have jumped onto their bandwagon and seem content to stay there. Once people are brainwashed by the ideas, they become activists too.
I am gay and liberal but never accepted trans ideas as part of the LGB group. However, most gay people have accepted the trans mutants with open arms. People like me aren't welcome any more. The mutants have snatched away my community.
I have one gay friend that I correspond with, and he supports trans ideas and makes apologies for them. I sent him a list similar to the list in my post above, but it didn't phase him at all.
Thanks, I do what I can. I worry, though, about campaigning so constantly against a group of people, because I think it might build bad karma -- and frankly, I want to get out of the reincarnational system. But everything I see them doing is destructive, although not all trans people have picked up on the bad ideas. If they adopted a simple posture, like "We know we are strange, but please allow us to live our lives the way we want so we can be happy" (instead of trying to bend the world to their views), I might be able to accept them. The interesting thing about the trans movement was that it brought the focus on drag queens, whom I have come to see as misogynists who portray women in ridiculous ways. I used to see them as clowns, but now they strike me evil in the same ways that activists are.
I Googled the Denton Document. What I found was three long articles by Graham Linehan outlining a behind-the-scenes conspiracy by rich people to spread trans ideas. Unfortunately, it's more reading than I can do at this time. That rich people are constantly busy trying to ruin the world doesn't surprise me.
Great analysis, Perry. I've wondered what gays and lesbians think of all this. I assume that more lesbians have opposed it because of the obvious infringement on women's rights and spaces. Be that as it may, the cult's targeting of same-sex attracted adolescents and young adults of both sexes should be obvious as well.
Well, I'm not a statistician so I can't tell you what those groups feel. I am older and retired now, and there is no gay bar in my town, so I don't socialize that much with gay people any more. I have, however, become friends with a couple Lesbians. My impression is that Lesbians have been more influenced than gay men by transgenderism.
That's interesting. My own view of the trans agenda was influenced, at a time when I was beginning to be skeptical and not just a susceptible lefty, by gender-critical radical feminists. Who, I assume, must be at least 50% lesbian. I already knew something was up when the nicest individual in the Orange is the New Black women's prison just so happened to be the heart-of-gold MtF hairdresser.
My adult son has been taking hormones for 3-4 years. Every day I pray for him to detransition before he causes any more damage to his body. Every day I pray he doesn’t do anything surgical. I miss my son as he was. 💔
Thank you for all you are doing. My son is gripped by this. I feel like I am drowning in this madness. All I can do is be there for him and hope he will see that he is a beautiful human without having to change himself. Love to all parents who have dealt and are dealing with this trans ideology. 💜
To you and Pam, all I can think to say is that this is a very strange way to lose a child, isn't it? Who would have thought that the advances in medicine would bring us to THIS?
Great piece, thanks.
Have cross posted
https://dustymasterson.substack.com/p/lawrence-of-arabia-a-funny-sense
Dusty
"Had the first doctor questioned my son instead of affirming him"
I think this brings up the most important issue.
Lately, I’m seeing more comments from parents of boys. Are the vulnerable boys being indoctrinated now such that we are seeing it more? I also wonder what the sex ratio is of those who cut off their family? Is there a way to capture the data?
Thanks. We have made it clear that we consider him our son and always will, but that we love him unconditionally and will always be here for him. Sometimes he believes that and other times I think he feels betrayed by us. But we are gently steadfast. After some bumpy spots he still says he loves us and even tho we don’t support him financially (other than a place to stay) he lives with us and will hug us and somewhat engage. He prefers to isolate but we do what we can to engage him.
I imagine he dresses like a woman, which must feel strange. Personally, the mixing of the sexes in one person has always struck me as odd. Because of that, I always found comedians who did drag, like Flip Wilson and Milton Berle, hilarious. Don't trans women realize how ridiculous they look?
I would like detransitioners to be centred in the not at all a community LGBTQ2 whatever
and #GetTheLOut no one is an "LGBTQ" person, each letter is a different demographic, which have nothing in common culturally
Yes, when are they going to add a D to their alphabet soup, to be really and *truly* inclusive?
They do not like those who disagree
my question is why are any actual Ls still there in the boys fetish club
🩵🙏🩷
I support all detransitioners, too! Walking it back takes courage and I commend every person who changes their mind and returns to the life that they were meant to live. Once these innocent minds are manipulated by the internet, peer pressure, counselors, teachers, coaches, doctors, therapists and other family members or family friends it becomes so difficult for these kids to push back or turn around or escape. It seems there is only one way down the trans rabbit hole and that there is no “exit”. Rebellion is indeed normal for all teens as it is their way of learning boundaries and testing the water for when they leave home for college or for a job or to be in their own. It is part of learning and growing up. However, with this trans ideology it tricks these kids into rebelling for all the wrong reasons. It brainwashes them into thinking their parents are the bad guys when nothing could be further from the truth. This cult encourages these kids to trust strangers and we all know about stranger danger.
After five long years of hell, my son and I finally have a good relationship. He knows where I stand. I accept but I do not affirm. However, whenever yous I say he. He corrects me by saying she. I just bypass it and continue the conversation and he does not argue back. I want to correct him every time but I'm told it is not my job to fix him only to love him as is and pray. Would I only be making it worse by correcting him every time? Or should I just leave it alone?
Stick with passive-aggression. It can be an extremely useful conscious technique. A good definition of passive-aggression is anything that can be excused with, "I didn't do anything. I just didn't DO something."
So don't draw attention to the issue by trying to correct him. That's doing something.
But keep automatically saying "he" and passively bypassing it when he corrects you. (In your mind: "I didn't do anything. I just didn't say 'she.' ")
Each tiny instance brings him back to the real world. He can jump right out again, but it's an effort. Over and over, a thousand thousand times, he is brought back to the real world and has to make the effort to jump out again. In this way, he can't be cemented into that fantasy lobby. He is always and forever being brought, even for instant, back to the real world.
Keeping him rooted in reality: that's your goal. Someday this Trans panic will end, and then he'll finally simply stay.
Every drop of water, every grain of sand
Make a mighty ocean and a massive land.
Wow that is good
My thought is just leave it alone and continue as you are currently doing. I hope your son will be able to walk it back and come to accept his natural body and true sex.
If you correct him every time, that could add to any hostility that exists in the relationship.
Just curious ... how old is your son?
Remain hopeful. Some people detransition after years and years of living as trans.
He came out at 21 and will be 26 next month
So he did all this after he came of age, which means you have no authority over him. Do you think he's actually trans? As a child, did he like to dress up in girls' clothes or anything like that?
I do not believe he is. He is a twin and they were both very active typical boys growing up. He was born with a heart defect and had 7 surgeries by 19. We feel like he always may have felt cheated in life and "weaker" than his male friends. 🤷
It seems that the more problems a person has, the more attractive being trans seems to be. They see it as a way to start over with a completely new life as a different person, but it never works. They play the part of the other sex for a while and then realize that they are just performing for themselves. I hope your son hasn't had any surgeries.
nm
No he hasn't had anything medically. He has been on hormones since 22.
I agree with you. I know in my heart if he had the proper therapy this wouldn't be taking so long but everyone he has seen has been woke and just convinces him more that he's a woman. It took 4 years of estrangement and verbal abuse from him and love and patience from his dad and me to get where we are. I'm so afraid of losing him again so I walk on egg shells avoiding name/pronouns. He knows I don't believe him but he also knows how much he's loved. My fear is one day love won't be enough. I'm trusting in the testimonies from detransitioners to hold my ground.
My son is trapped in this cycle, even as his hopes and dreams and incredible talent are all pushed to the side because of hyper fixation. Ever a victim and trapped with untreated depression, self harm, and an eating disorder. We love him, yet don’t affirm so we are the toxic ones according to others. We see more of his complete story than anyone else in his life, yet we are the ones “who are bigoted and don’t care.” We pray and love and pray some more that common sense and a fast developing prefrontal cortex will help bring him to the surface. We love him so much and it devastating to see him waste away.
The way that the trans influencers turn children against their parents is the most immoral thing they are doing. I'm sorry you are having to experience this.
This is a dangerous time for your son. Children need the support of their parents (assuming they are good parents). Once a child allows himself to be estranged from his parents, he may suddenly feel alone in the world. And if he eventually comes to feel that he treated his parents unfairly and can't make amends with them, all those feelings combined can lead to suicide. You need to make it clear that you don't agree with the whole trans thing, but that you still love him and will be there for him if he changes his mind.
The more time passes, the more my position on transgenderism is hardening. I see trans activists as being almost evil. My understanding is that men with autogynephilia were the driving force behind the movement, and that's a sexual fetish. Every idea and/or position they have taken has been wrong, selfish, or incautious at best:
* Children, despite their immaturity, should be free to decide if they are the wrong sex.
* Transgenderism should always be affirmed. No other causes should be considered.
* Transgenderism has not become a fad despite evidence to the contrary.
* The body isn't harmed by puberty blockers or cross-sex hormones, if the transitioner changes his or her mind.
* Gender and sex are different things.
* Any human being can change his or her gender or sex.
* "Gender identity" is separate from a person's body, and is the true measure of men and women.
* Thus, trans women are "real" women, and trans men are "real" men. To refuse to accept them as "real" is a form of bigotry.
* Women owe it to men to accept them into their private spaces, despite the danger that men pose to women.
* The class of "women" is available to men to alter and redefine as they please.
* There is no unfairness to trans women entering women's sports because estrogen makes them as weak as women.
* Trans women are not a danger to women in their private spaces because they identify as women.
* Trans people feel an existential pain for having to live in a body that does not suit their identity, and therefore should be treated with exaggerated respect and delicacy.
* Part of that respect is to use their special pronouns and their special vocabulary, no matter how unnatural or contrary to evidence the language may be.
* Children who are not allowed to transition are likely to commit suicide.
Trans activists, through the promotion of all of these lies, are trying to increase their numbers in the world. They have absolutely no regard for either children or women. They won't even acknowledge that being trans has become a fad among children, or that the medical treatments harm a child's body and eventually makes the child infertile. They couldn't care less about the integrity of women's spaces or sports. By pushing their ideology into all parts of society, they are destroying lives and relationships, and they have set humanity on an illogical course away from science.
I have come to believe that trans people are narcissists. Once they transition, "living the illusion" becomes the central purpose of their lives. This brings me to the topic of "gender identity". Trans women would like us to believe that they are "real" women because they have the same "gender identity" that women do, but they don't. Not being stupid, they know they aren't real women, so eventually they simply accept their identity as "trans" women, though they continue to put on a show to themselves and the world.
I don't mean to encourage people to hate trans activists, since hate is bad for the soul. But there is no doubt that they constitute an incredibly selfish group which is promoting and pandering in lies and pretense. Almost everything they stand for is wrong and serves no one but themselves.
[If I missed some of the lies they are promoting, let me know and I'll add them to this comment.]
Excellent summary. It’s a cult. I have a lot of hate for the leaders in this. They seem to be sadists. And why shouldn’t I hate someone who harms someone else, their family and society?
The attitude of trans activists is utterly astonishing to me. It is entirely selfish. They won't accept even the slightest pushback against their ideas. For example, it is totally obvious that being trans has become fad, yet they won't admit that even ONE of the kids who has "transitioned" might have been influenced. It is because they are so intransigent that they must be forcefully resisted.
The other thing that astonishes me is how their ideas spread like a virus. Liberals everywhere have jumped onto their bandwagon and seem content to stay there. Once people are brainwashed by the ideas, they become activists too.
I am gay and liberal but never accepted trans ideas as part of the LGB group. However, most gay people have accepted the trans mutants with open arms. People like me aren't welcome any more. The mutants have snatched away my community.
I have one gay friend that I correspond with, and he supports trans ideas and makes apologies for them. I sent him a list similar to the list in my post above, but it didn't phase him at all.
Have you heard of the Denton Document? If not, google it. It will give insight into the missing piece.
As for not engaging with other viewpoints, it’s a couple of things - it’s a cult and they also don’t want to face the sunk cost fallacy.
Why is the healthcare field going along with the idea that someone could be born in the wrong body. How were they so brainwashed? Or is it all $$?
Thanks for speaking out about this to your friends. Everyone who can have their eyes opened is another moment that we can save future kids/YA.
Thanks, I do what I can. I worry, though, about campaigning so constantly against a group of people, because I think it might build bad karma -- and frankly, I want to get out of the reincarnational system. But everything I see them doing is destructive, although not all trans people have picked up on the bad ideas. If they adopted a simple posture, like "We know we are strange, but please allow us to live our lives the way we want so we can be happy" (instead of trying to bend the world to their views), I might be able to accept them. The interesting thing about the trans movement was that it brought the focus on drag queens, whom I have come to see as misogynists who portray women in ridiculous ways. I used to see them as clowns, but now they strike me evil in the same ways that activists are.
I Googled the Denton Document. What I found was three long articles by Graham Linehan outlining a behind-the-scenes conspiracy by rich people to spread trans ideas. Unfortunately, it's more reading than I can do at this time. That rich people are constantly busy trying to ruin the world doesn't surprise me.
Great analysis, Perry. I've wondered what gays and lesbians think of all this. I assume that more lesbians have opposed it because of the obvious infringement on women's rights and spaces. Be that as it may, the cult's targeting of same-sex attracted adolescents and young adults of both sexes should be obvious as well.
Well, I'm not a statistician so I can't tell you what those groups feel. I am older and retired now, and there is no gay bar in my town, so I don't socialize that much with gay people any more. I have, however, become friends with a couple Lesbians. My impression is that Lesbians have been more influenced than gay men by transgenderism.
That's interesting. My own view of the trans agenda was influenced, at a time when I was beginning to be skeptical and not just a susceptible lefty, by gender-critical radical feminists. Who, I assume, must be at least 50% lesbian. I already knew something was up when the nicest individual in the Orange is the New Black women's prison just so happened to be the heart-of-gold MtF hairdresser.
My adult son has been taking hormones for 3-4 years. Every day I pray for him to detransition before he causes any more damage to his body. Every day I pray he doesn’t do anything surgical. I miss my son as he was. 💔
Thank you for all you are doing. My son is gripped by this. I feel like I am drowning in this madness. All I can do is be there for him and hope he will see that he is a beautiful human without having to change himself. Love to all parents who have dealt and are dealing with this trans ideology. 💜
To you and Pam, all I can think to say is that this is a very strange way to lose a child, isn't it? Who would have thought that the advances in medicine would bring us to THIS?
Here's hoping your sons come to their senses.