I am not sure this is true “Kids who have actual, honest-to-god gender dysphoria show signs from the time they’re three or four.” They are being influenced by social media and in school.
I can't wait for part 2. The part that grabbed me was Thadeus. We all have our heros in school, the kids we look up to, the leaders of groups. The influence generally is just clothing or maybe illicit behavior, but the damage that a kid like Thadeus can do and especially given his idiotically liberal parents, is DEVASTATING. Chopping off your breasts at 16. It would have made me move.
Thank you for sharing your story. I have a question, and it may get me in trouble, but…in hearing that your first grade daughter wasn’t interested in chasing boys and expressed an interest in kissing a girl, why jump to the assumption that she might be gay?
I wonder in general: how do we really know which actions and interests of young children will later manifest as indicators of homosexuality? Why even go there at all? Why allow stereotypes to dictate who our children will become?
I wouldn't say it was an assumption. It was more of a hint. We left it alone. We didn't say anything about it to her at all. But when she was in middle school and told me she was gay, we weren't overly surprised.
It’s not that you didn’t say anything about it; it’s that you (or anyone) had the thought at all. I’ve had friends tell me that they could tell from when a particular person was a child that they would be gay, and I wonder what that something is. Why do we assume someone is gay based on mannerisms and interests at a young age? What exactly screams (or hints at) “Gay” before a child is 10?
I don’t actually expect an answer; these are just the things I ponder.
Your story is a argument for, among other things, sex-segregated education. Boys and girls have different developmental needs. By the time children are in middle school, the differences in maturity and self regulation are dramatic. Boys commenting on girls’ breasts is shocking. And very little can be done on it in a large public-school setting. I wonder if an all-girls school would have made a difference to your daughter. It’s just a thought from a retired educator. After teaching for 30 years, I wanted so badly to reform the education system in so many ways. Unfortunately, at 65, I no longer have the energy to reform anything!
"Gender non-conforming" females often just want to live with the freedom males are given, from having safe and comfortable shoes to not being pornified in clothing, which was done to me when I was only five. That term makes it look like girls and women who say no to objectification are a kind of freak when it's the opposite. It's so important to support girls to say no to enforced fake femininity, and then far less would think they are boys or would want to be.
"The Rainbow Crew were all from white, affluent households. In a world obsessed with grievance politics and intersectionality, alphabet identities gave them social collateral they didn’t otherwise have."
THIS. I don't see people talking about this aspect, and they darn well should be.
Yes, to me this was very clear. Being from a white, affluent family carries a negative social stigma in their world. The desperately wanted to identify as oppressed people, in one way or another, in order to make themselves special. (And these days, being gay apparently isn't enough.)
Incidentally, my daughter and I ran into one of the Rainbow Crew at the mall this weekend. Tons of piercings, strange clothing, a haircut that would not have been out of place in a punk band in the '80s, and doing everything possible to appear male. Everything about this young person just screamed "I need attention!" I felt a pang of pity, but also the desire to get my daughter out of there ASAP.
Obviously, those objecting are not skipping over it, or they wouldn't know what it says.
Many of us women DO care what pronouns are used to write about Thaddeus. Perhaps you don't care because you don't see the transgenderism lobby from our perspective.
Thank you! The funny thing is, when PITT agreed to publish it, they suggested I change the pronouns. I was fine with that and rewrote it with she/her instead. But somehow there was a mixup and they ended up publishing the original version rather than the revised version. They updated parts of it after publishing, but not the entire essay, which is why some instances of he/him still exist. Just an unfortunate mixup.
I did, but for some reason, they only I updated about two paragraphs and left the rest. I assume they had their reasons? It had already landed in inboxes with the wrong version, so that part can't be un-done.
I’m thoroughly convinced that most of this LGBTQIA+ crap is the result of social contagions. I’m okay with the idea that some children with same-sex attraction orientation are born that way.
ALL females are born Lesbian, born to love our own kind. But the endless harassment plus promise of privilege is why most then choose to be het. I'll never understand that though. I'd rather die.
Trust me, most of it is. Lots of 'lesbian' groups include all these worthless identities, and any truth-telling lesbian is hounded out to keep these groups '''safe''' and '''inclusive.''' And, a personal experience, my sister's friend group sounds similar to the one in this essay; they all end up being straight.
Thank you for your story. I hope part 2 is tomorrow! I am so hoping that my daughter realizes that this is not a healthy choice for anyone!! We are 5 years into this and her friends all call her by her fake name. We only call her by her real name at home. She is 18 so I fear that she is going to start T and surgery but so far she has not. I wish you the best in your families future!
Thank you for sharing your story — in your own perception/words. Very insightful and revealing of the culture and peer pressure your daughter experienced. I look forward to part two.
Great piece! I am looking forward to part 2! It’s a good description of how these Rainbow Crews work - and what a sad situation for Thaddeus. I loved your conversation about why one person gets celebrated for their “authentic” self, but not others. That had to get your daughter thinking.
Yes I agree, your point about the "authentic" self was great and likely inspired some reluctant thinking behind the sulking. I am coming to realise that doing exactly what you did there, where you made a point gently as part of a larger conversation and didn't push, is an important kind of micro-stand that can be expressed without generating an argument.
I am not sure this is true “Kids who have actual, honest-to-god gender dysphoria show signs from the time they’re three or four.” They are being influenced by social media and in school.
I can't wait for part 2. The part that grabbed me was Thadeus. We all have our heros in school, the kids we look up to, the leaders of groups. The influence generally is just clothing or maybe illicit behavior, but the damage that a kid like Thadeus can do and especially given his idiotically liberal parents, is DEVASTATING. Chopping off your breasts at 16. It would have made me move.
Thank you for sharing your story. I have a question, and it may get me in trouble, but…in hearing that your first grade daughter wasn’t interested in chasing boys and expressed an interest in kissing a girl, why jump to the assumption that she might be gay?
I wonder in general: how do we really know which actions and interests of young children will later manifest as indicators of homosexuality? Why even go there at all? Why allow stereotypes to dictate who our children will become?
I wouldn't say it was an assumption. It was more of a hint. We left it alone. We didn't say anything about it to her at all. But when she was in middle school and told me she was gay, we weren't overly surprised.
It’s not that you didn’t say anything about it; it’s that you (or anyone) had the thought at all. I’ve had friends tell me that they could tell from when a particular person was a child that they would be gay, and I wonder what that something is. Why do we assume someone is gay based on mannerisms and interests at a young age? What exactly screams (or hints at) “Gay” before a child is 10?
I don’t actually expect an answer; these are just the things I ponder.
Your story is a argument for, among other things, sex-segregated education. Boys and girls have different developmental needs. By the time children are in middle school, the differences in maturity and self regulation are dramatic. Boys commenting on girls’ breasts is shocking. And very little can be done on it in a large public-school setting. I wonder if an all-girls school would have made a difference to your daughter. It’s just a thought from a retired educator. After teaching for 30 years, I wanted so badly to reform the education system in so many ways. Unfortunately, at 65, I no longer have the energy to reform anything!
This is SO excellent. Thank you!
"Gender non-conforming" females often just want to live with the freedom males are given, from having safe and comfortable shoes to not being pornified in clothing, which was done to me when I was only five. That term makes it look like girls and women who say no to objectification are a kind of freak when it's the opposite. It's so important to support girls to say no to enforced fake femininity, and then far less would think they are boys or would want to be.
So well written and such a monster cliff hanger. Can't wait for part two.
"The Rainbow Crew were all from white, affluent households. In a world obsessed with grievance politics and intersectionality, alphabet identities gave them social collateral they didn’t otherwise have."
THIS. I don't see people talking about this aspect, and they darn well should be.
Yes, to me this was very clear. Being from a white, affluent family carries a negative social stigma in their world. The desperately wanted to identify as oppressed people, in one way or another, in order to make themselves special. (And these days, being gay apparently isn't enough.)
Incidentally, my daughter and I ran into one of the Rainbow Crew at the mall this weekend. Tons of piercings, strange clothing, a haircut that would not have been out of place in a punk band in the '80s, and doing everything possible to appear male. Everything about this young person just screamed "I need attention!" I felt a pang of pity, but also the desire to get my daughter out of there ASAP.
Girl: Mom, I think I’m a boy.
Mom: Well, you’re not.
CPS: Ok we will take care of your child for you
I don't care what pronoun you chose to write about Thaddeus. This is good writing. Anyone skipping it over that is doing themselves a disservice.
Obviously, those objecting are not skipping over it, or they wouldn't know what it says.
Many of us women DO care what pronouns are used to write about Thaddeus. Perhaps you don't care because you don't see the transgenderism lobby from our perspective.
Obviously, you didn't read all the comments.
Susan Z
21h
I stopped reading this for that exact reason.
Thank you! The funny thing is, when PITT agreed to publish it, they suggested I change the pronouns. I was fine with that and rewrote it with she/her instead. But somehow there was a mixup and they ended up publishing the original version rather than the revised version. They updated parts of it after publishing, but not the entire essay, which is why some instances of he/him still exist. Just an unfortunate mixup.
Perhaps you could ask them to fix it.
It does matter--especially to women readers and the mothers and fathers of girls whose health and safety are at risk from this cult.
I did, but for some reason, they only I updated about two paragraphs and left the rest. I assume they had their reasons? It had already landed in inboxes with the wrong version, so that part can't be un-done.
Thank you for such a well written essay. It is vulnerable and genuine. I hope part two shows that she found her way out of this.
I’m thoroughly convinced that most of this LGBTQIA+ crap is the result of social contagions. I’m okay with the idea that some children with same-sex attraction orientation are born that way.
ALL females are born Lesbian, born to love our own kind. But the endless harassment plus promise of privilege is why most then choose to be het. I'll never understand that though. I'd rather die.
Trust me, most of it is. Lots of 'lesbian' groups include all these worthless identities, and any truth-telling lesbian is hounded out to keep these groups '''safe''' and '''inclusive.''' And, a personal experience, my sister's friend group sounds similar to the one in this essay; they all end up being straight.
I knew that conversation was coming and I wasn’t ready for it
I’m not sure if I’ll ever be ready for it
I feel I’m gonna be sucked into the lies and have nothing to say just because of my love for her
I’m so glad I have my husband to stand up for the truth. I know the truth, but it’s hard to stand up for it with my daughter.
Thank you for your story. I hope part 2 is tomorrow! I am so hoping that my daughter realizes that this is not a healthy choice for anyone!! We are 5 years into this and her friends all call her by her fake name. We only call her by her real name at home. She is 18 so I fear that she is going to start T and surgery but so far she has not. I wish you the best in your families future!
Great article and good job pushing back! Well written, I am eagerly waiting for part 2.
Thank you for sharing your story — in your own perception/words. Very insightful and revealing of the culture and peer pressure your daughter experienced. I look forward to part two.
Great piece! I am looking forward to part 2! It’s a good description of how these Rainbow Crews work - and what a sad situation for Thaddeus. I loved your conversation about why one person gets celebrated for their “authentic” self, but not others. That had to get your daughter thinking.
Yes I agree, your point about the "authentic" self was great and likely inspired some reluctant thinking behind the sulking. I am coming to realise that doing exactly what you did there, where you made a point gently as part of a larger conversation and didn't push, is an important kind of micro-stand that can be expressed without generating an argument.