Sending hugs your way as we’re in the same stupid boat except that my daughter has not gone to college yet but plans to go so she can take hormones without her dad’s knowledge. I’m pretty sure he’ll find out.
As much as I love her to death, I’d probably just text her as our mode of conversation, avoiding seeing her physical transformation and hearing a different voice of which I dread. In the meantime, her dad and I constantly pray and hope.
May God bless us and our children who have lost their ways🙏❤️
My daughter doesn't care about my feelings regarding her name change. She says it's just a matter of respecting who she is. Well, I don't know her as that person.
I totally understand where you are coming from. My daughter also recently changed her name and her graduation is this week. It is heartbreaking. In many ways the name change has cut deeper than all the rest of it. She decided not to go to her graduation at all. I think my daughter chose to changer her name now so that her new employer would call her by it. I continue to hope and pray that she snaps out of this. She is so intelligent and sensible about everything else - but this cult has brainwashed her.
From a mom who cringes when I hear my daughter’s chosen name, I wish you peace at this event, and joy in whatever way it presents itself. Her identifying as trans is only a part of her story—she has achieved something magnificent, and that is joyful and worthy of celebration.
My daughter has been through some stuff. Her mother was abusive (mostly verbally, but physically toward me) and now she gets severe anxiety when she hears her name yelled. So it's understandable that she might want to go by a different name. Therapy doesn't seem to be helping.
Thanks for this. My daughter‘s high school graduation is on Friday and I am wondering how I’m going to get through it. The school Director just called me and asked which name to use on the loudspeaker. I have finally come up with the one-sentence answer for people who act like I am not being supportive. I just say that this belief system has harmed my child. And if they knew my child like I do they would see the damage that it’s done to her and the things she’s missed out on because of it . when I put the focus on the harm to my child, people tend to take a beat and feel what I’m saying. It’s not about me at that point. It’s so sad. The life our kids are signing up for. I hate this.
This could have been written my most of us. My child's birth name means "Magnificent gift of God". We carefully planned it. The new name means "descendent of the dark, self love". My child said he was not "married to that name", that he did not ascertain the meaning of the name before choosing it, that it came to him... 🤔 WTW??!! We don't use that name although his siblings do. I use childhood nicknames as well. I love my child, we all love our children. We pray for them. It is really all we can do. Be steadfast and continue to use the name you gave your child, it is correct, all else is folly. Love to you all, so glad I have found this group!
I tried to carefully hint to a relative how upsetting it was for us that our daughter changed her beautiful name. My emotionally-tone-deaf relative gleefully replied that her own best friend from middle school had had that name - the name that I now privately refer to as my daughter's new cult name. After that, I knew it wasn't safe to share my feelings with the relative. In fact, several other attempts at trying to express concerns with relatives have resulted in either awkward exchanges like that one or being met with crickets. I don't try to share my heart with any of them anymore.
I understand how you feel about the important graduation day having this cloud of sadness over it because of this. What's in a name? A lot is in a name. And I'm pretty sure most of the parents here can relate to the knot in the throat and the pain in the heart that comes with this experience.
My daughter used to be such a lovely and kind sweet girl. She legally changed her name and then the sex mark on her passport after she turned 19. She even wanted to change her last name but her dad said if you do so, then you are not part of the family (implying she would not get anything from us), that made her kept her family name. I can never call her by her new male name. I also use her nickname. I pray for her and all the girls out there who are captured by this evil ideology to open their eyes and see the truth and be set free. Amen.
How many families has this happened to? It's a tragedy for all involved.
When our daughter graduated from college, she had already excised us out of her life. She had filed a "do not contact" order with her college; she had obtained testosterone at the student health center--while also apparently being treat for BD by the psychiatrist on staff at her college.
The college had us on their email list. Often, we received solicitations for donations.
When her graduation rolled around (we weren't sure if she would graduate), we received a notification that she had received an undergraduate award for her thesis on "queer poetry". And then her new name, a strange name that I can assure you that no one in history has ever been named. (She had changed her first and last names.)
It sent me swooning.
Hang in there, I am sorry for all families in this disaster.
IDK if this helps, & in no way am I preaching. I’m just sharing with you what I have done for self preservation.
I have explained to my daughter (named after her deceased paternal grandmother) that I vowed to protect and nurture her from the moment I knew God blessed me with her presence. I’ve explained to her that calling her any other name feels like a betrayal to “…..” ( her given name). I indicated it feels like I’m giving up on “…..”, who I believe to be awesome and wonderful. So, she needs to consider my feelings and my faith in this circumstance in order for us to continue our relationship. I emphasized we need to find mutual ground based upon what’s first and foremost, our love for one another.
So far, I have not had any pushback when I address her. I will admit I avoid names and pronouns as much as possible. Our communication is less often than years ago. But there was a time of no contact- so it’s more than that.
My prayers are with you and your family as well as all the families in this nightmare.
May we all see positive change in the near future.
Dear Mum: I had this same thing happen. The pandemic cancelled his undergraduate graduation and that was taken from us. When he was graduating with a Masters he told us he was not going. I tuned in to the live stream anyway to see some of his classmates he had mentioned . There was my tall, handsome, gentlemanly son graduating under a strange first name. It was a body blow to me and I happened to be out of town and was able to wail and scream the pain out. Later I did what you do: googled that name and found it on Linkedin . Little did I know (being a boomer mom and not knowing too much about social media) that when you visit some people's profile they know you have. My son phoned me in tears to apologize and to say that he didn't understand what a graduation meant to family. I did decide to forgive...he is my beloved son. I pray God restores and resurrects our children's true names and that the other flies off into the garbage bin of history where those names belong. Lord have mercy!
Sending hugs your way as we’re in the same stupid boat except that my daughter has not gone to college yet but plans to go so she can take hormones without her dad’s knowledge. I’m pretty sure he’ll find out.
As much as I love her to death, I’d probably just text her as our mode of conversation, avoiding seeing her physical transformation and hearing a different voice of which I dread. In the meantime, her dad and I constantly pray and hope.
May God bless us and our children who have lost their ways🙏❤️
My daughter doesn't care about my feelings regarding her name change. She says it's just a matter of respecting who she is. Well, I don't know her as that person.
I understand...but ours totally cut us off ...3 years now
I totally understand where you are coming from. My daughter also recently changed her name and her graduation is this week. It is heartbreaking. In many ways the name change has cut deeper than all the rest of it. She decided not to go to her graduation at all. I think my daughter chose to changer her name now so that her new employer would call her by it. I continue to hope and pray that she snaps out of this. She is so intelligent and sensible about everything else - but this cult has brainwashed her.
From a mom who cringes when I hear my daughter’s chosen name, I wish you peace at this event, and joy in whatever way it presents itself. Her identifying as trans is only a part of her story—she has achieved something magnificent, and that is joyful and worthy of celebration.
My daughter has been through some stuff. Her mother was abusive (mostly verbally, but physically toward me) and now she gets severe anxiety when she hears her name yelled. So it's understandable that she might want to go by a different name. Therapy doesn't seem to be helping.
Thanks for this. My daughter‘s high school graduation is on Friday and I am wondering how I’m going to get through it. The school Director just called me and asked which name to use on the loudspeaker. I have finally come up with the one-sentence answer for people who act like I am not being supportive. I just say that this belief system has harmed my child. And if they knew my child like I do they would see the damage that it’s done to her and the things she’s missed out on because of it . when I put the focus on the harm to my child, people tend to take a beat and feel what I’m saying. It’s not about me at that point. It’s so sad. The life our kids are signing up for. I hate this.
This could have been written my most of us. My child's birth name means "Magnificent gift of God". We carefully planned it. The new name means "descendent of the dark, self love". My child said he was not "married to that name", that he did not ascertain the meaning of the name before choosing it, that it came to him... 🤔 WTW??!! We don't use that name although his siblings do. I use childhood nicknames as well. I love my child, we all love our children. We pray for them. It is really all we can do. Be steadfast and continue to use the name you gave your child, it is correct, all else is folly. Love to you all, so glad I have found this group!
Nathaniel?
Beautiful name, but no
So sorry! I feel your pain. Hugs.
We named my son after my father and her brother.
I don't use the new female name nor the pronouns.
My wife does both
Its brutal. He is 29 and "transitioned" 7 years ago
I tried to carefully hint to a relative how upsetting it was for us that our daughter changed her beautiful name. My emotionally-tone-deaf relative gleefully replied that her own best friend from middle school had had that name - the name that I now privately refer to as my daughter's new cult name. After that, I knew it wasn't safe to share my feelings with the relative. In fact, several other attempts at trying to express concerns with relatives have resulted in either awkward exchanges like that one or being met with crickets. I don't try to share my heart with any of them anymore.
I understand how you feel about the important graduation day having this cloud of sadness over it because of this. What's in a name? A lot is in a name. And I'm pretty sure most of the parents here can relate to the knot in the throat and the pain in the heart that comes with this experience.
A lot is in a name! Amen share your feelings here, we get you!
My daughter used to be such a lovely and kind sweet girl. She legally changed her name and then the sex mark on her passport after she turned 19. She even wanted to change her last name but her dad said if you do so, then you are not part of the family (implying she would not get anything from us), that made her kept her family name. I can never call her by her new male name. I also use her nickname. I pray for her and all the girls out there who are captured by this evil ideology to open their eyes and see the truth and be set free. Amen.
🙏🕊️May their eyes be opened.
Amen!
How many families has this happened to? It's a tragedy for all involved.
When our daughter graduated from college, she had already excised us out of her life. She had filed a "do not contact" order with her college; she had obtained testosterone at the student health center--while also apparently being treat for BD by the psychiatrist on staff at her college.
The college had us on their email list. Often, we received solicitations for donations.
When her graduation rolled around (we weren't sure if she would graduate), we received a notification that she had received an undergraduate award for her thesis on "queer poetry". And then her new name, a strange name that I can assure you that no one in history has ever been named. (She had changed her first and last names.)
It sent me swooning.
Hang in there, I am sorry for all families in this disaster.
I like you Melissa.you just made me laugh
Sounds like an education worth thousands of negative dollars.
😂
IDK if this helps, & in no way am I preaching. I’m just sharing with you what I have done for self preservation.
I have explained to my daughter (named after her deceased paternal grandmother) that I vowed to protect and nurture her from the moment I knew God blessed me with her presence. I’ve explained to her that calling her any other name feels like a betrayal to “…..” ( her given name). I indicated it feels like I’m giving up on “…..”, who I believe to be awesome and wonderful. So, she needs to consider my feelings and my faith in this circumstance in order for us to continue our relationship. I emphasized we need to find mutual ground based upon what’s first and foremost, our love for one another.
So far, I have not had any pushback when I address her. I will admit I avoid names and pronouns as much as possible. Our communication is less often than years ago. But there was a time of no contact- so it’s more than that.
My prayers are with you and your family as well as all the families in this nightmare.
May we all see positive change in the near future.
❤️🙏🕊️
🙏🙏🙏🕊️
Dear Mum: I had this same thing happen. The pandemic cancelled his undergraduate graduation and that was taken from us. When he was graduating with a Masters he told us he was not going. I tuned in to the live stream anyway to see some of his classmates he had mentioned . There was my tall, handsome, gentlemanly son graduating under a strange first name. It was a body blow to me and I happened to be out of town and was able to wail and scream the pain out. Later I did what you do: googled that name and found it on Linkedin . Little did I know (being a boomer mom and not knowing too much about social media) that when you visit some people's profile they know you have. My son phoned me in tears to apologize and to say that he didn't understand what a graduation meant to family. I did decide to forgive...he is my beloved son. I pray God restores and resurrects our children's true names and that the other flies off into the garbage bin of history where those names belong. Lord have mercy!
🙏🕊️
Feel your pain, all of the above. Doesn’t seem to get any easier. Just knowing you’re not alone helps a little bit.
Fed up with every life event being hijacked with this. Ruins everything. Never look forward to any big events.
Yep, I hear you!
Feel