"This didn’t happen overnight. It was built slowly, carefully, and reinforced by systems and voices we never imagined would target our families".
This started to build since homosexuality was removed from the psychiatric manual and began to be considered healthy. Gender fluidity and sexual fluidity go hand in hand, reinforce each-other.
If LGB youth could have access to therapies for their sexuality and mental health they would not progress to the T part of LGBT.
Thank you, thank you so much for such beautiful writing. I cling to God and His mother, pray every day for all parents like us for strength and hope. Sometimes I feel as if God doesn't hear me, but I know He is holding me and all of us in His arms and our children.
If my child were walking toward drugs, self-destruction, or any path that would damage their body or soul, no one would question my right or my duty to say no. No one would call that cruelty. They would call it care.
I found it helpful that besides not blaming myself I cannot in anyway blame my child or other children. They were all lied to by adults.
Thank you for writing this- it’s very close to how I feel. It is heartening to read this as well as comments from parents who are experiencing (enduring) this phenomenon. Keep going, everyone.
I have deep faith , the hole is deep and I remain shattered. I can't find anything that helps me carry this pain. Each day I slip deeper I think of death too often no other light visible . The hole is deep dark and terrifying . I pray just try to breathe and survive crying out for my daughter .Repentance & Regret for what I didn't say, torment over what I did say and should not have . She didn't know how much I love her how deeply I love . My failure , I didn't protect her I wasn't paying attention the devil came in the back door . I have another daughter who needs me I have to survive but in raw honesty right now I really don't want to.
You are not alone Victoria, I feel the same struggles, pain, regrets, and a hole in my heart as you. I feel like a failure too but being busy and talking to someone helps me. I also have a daughter and grandchildren who loves me and need me. And also I know, I know that our prodigal children will come to us Victoria, so you must take care of yourself because you other daughter will need you Sending you a big hug
That devil that came in the back door…that is who has you believing that your daughter doesn’t know that you love her. All those years together? She definitely knows. And she can feel it too, in the private moments that she allows herself.
I hope she finds her way out of this and that you are blessed with some peace. ❤️
"How could we have anticipated something so deliberately engineered? This didn’t happen overnight. It was built slowly, carefully, and reinforced by systems and voices we never imagined would target our families. We didn’t fail. We were unprepared for something none of us were warned about."
So elegantly and concisely stated! And so very, very true. I just don't believe the affected parents can even move forward if they don't really grasp this and take it to heart.
And we hope and pray that the foundation of love upon which we nurtured them brings them back to reality. Back to themselves. Back to doing what’s best for their body and their life and their health mentally and physically. And hopefully back to us. one day.
Personally, I am trying to enjoy life, in all its complexity, including simpler things like good food, music, and a good show on tv, and to enjoy my son (who thankfully isn't falling for any of this), my husband, my extended family, my friends, my job, and my relationship with my trans-identified daughter, even as she poisons herself and lies to the world on a daily basis. I have no intention of letting this very sad aspect of my daughter's life ruin the rest of my life, and I have hope that it won't ruin hers!
I've gone over everything I could have or should have done to prevent her from making these terrible decisions - but obsessing on what might have been if I never gave her a cell phone and kept her computer in the living room, for example, will not do any good. Instead, I keep hope alive that she will lead a good life, and I try to lead a good one myself.
This cult finds vulnerable kids whatever we do. I have leftist academic friends whose kids are trans-ID'd. I have conservative Christian friends whose kids are trans-ID'd. I have friends whose kids went through some real trauma who are now trans-ID'd. I have friends who gave their children lovely, supportive childhoods who are now trans-ID'd. As one friend of mine (no trans kids though) said to me a few years ago: we can't choose the cultural context or moment of our children's childhood. The best we can do is stand guard and hope to prevent them from making really bad decisions in that context/moment.
Most parents are victims of this cult too, although they'd give anything to take all of the harm on themselves instead of see their children take drugs and endure amputations and other Frankenstein "medicine."
Beautiful perspective. There is a fine line between blaming oneself and acknowledging that we could have done some things better. It's a difficult one to walk. I've reflected on what my things are, and know that even if I had not done those things, it wouldn't have inoculated my daughter against this problem. Part of the time, I was in a battle that I didn't yet know existed, nor did I know how many enemies were allied on the other side. We're the Davids; our institutions are the Goliath. The happy news is David prevailed.
I totally agree; thank you for articulating my thoughts.
I thought I found my method until a few days ago when my deeply-entrenched-in-trans-ideology daughter told me she wants to medically transition (now an adult) that she wants to ‘off’ herself if she can’t. She knows her dad and I are against anything that would harm her. I was devastated so I tried to talk to her. She’s been at her lowest these past few days but we are keeping an eye on her; closely. Yes, our faith in God sustains us.
Talking to a trans person is often nearly impossible, but there are some tricks to open the door just a little bit. I read several books that might help some parents. One of them was on the techniques used by hostage negotiators. They try to only listen and while doing so they sow some seeds of doubt which may ultimately result in some insights found by the kidnapper (trans person) himself. So these negotiators act as allies and seem to agree, while they actually nudge towards their wanted outcome. I try with my daughter every day, listening and sowing seeds of doubt, but I initially made it so clear that I believe transition is not healthy that it may take years to regain her trust.
Another technique is talking about other issues which also require logical thinking. When I do that my daughter expresses great insights, but she doesn’t apply them to her transition (yet). It’s up to her to make the connection.
Another technique is focusing on the real issues. Trans is often just a symptom. With my daughter it is autism and sexuality. Something is blocked there. I found a great therapist but she’s not going (yet).
I wish you a lot of courage to get through these hard times. Stay strong, for you and for your daughter.
I’ve been trying to do that; not making headway as she is so smart and well read (just on her side) that she thinks she’s always right. I won’t stop trying, though.
She is being coached online to threaten you with suicide. The problem with this is that studies show going through with these drugs and surgeries increases suicide ideation 19 times.
Is that what she wants? To wake up five years from now and be so desperate for her healthy body back that she really WILL want to "off' herself--and not just as a threat to get her way?
Can she understand that "she" who wants this today is not the only person who matters--that the "she" of the future deserves compassion too?
"As parents, blaming ourselves comes naturally. But the truth is, how could we have known? How could we have anticipated something so deliberately engineered? This didn’t happen overnight. It was built slowly, carefully, and reinforced by systems and voices we never imagined would target our families. We didn’t fail. We were unprepared for something none of us were warned about."
It is like preparing for planes to fly into the twin towers. It isn't possible.
Exactly. How could we prepare for something so unnatural that has never happened before? The enemy comes to kill, steal, and destroy and our children are prime targets.
"This didn’t happen overnight. It was built slowly, carefully, and reinforced by systems and voices we never imagined would target our families".
This started to build since homosexuality was removed from the psychiatric manual and began to be considered healthy. Gender fluidity and sexual fluidity go hand in hand, reinforce each-other.
If LGB youth could have access to therapies for their sexuality and mental health they would not progress to the T part of LGBT.
Thank you, thank you so much for such beautiful writing. I cling to God and His mother, pray every day for all parents like us for strength and hope. Sometimes I feel as if God doesn't hear me, but I know He is holding me and all of us in His arms and our children.
Poignant and helpful, thank you.
This 👇🏻 makes me go insane.
If my child were walking toward drugs, self-destruction, or any path that would damage their body or soul, no one would question my right or my duty to say no. No one would call that cruelty. They would call it care.
I found it helpful that besides not blaming myself I cannot in anyway blame my child or other children. They were all lied to by adults.
Yes.
All these young people are being groomed by adults who stand to profit off lying to them and exploiting their sexed bodies.
So well written, after 5 years, I find myself feeling guilty less often. But still constantly wonder how I could have protected them better.
Thank you for your kind, encouraging words.
Amen.
It seems that there definitely comes a time that you must compartmentalize the pain and find a way to move on from this, or life will have no joy.
Thank you for writing this- it’s very close to how I feel. It is heartening to read this as well as comments from parents who are experiencing (enduring) this phenomenon. Keep going, everyone.
I have deep faith , the hole is deep and I remain shattered. I can't find anything that helps me carry this pain. Each day I slip deeper I think of death too often no other light visible . The hole is deep dark and terrifying . I pray just try to breathe and survive crying out for my daughter .Repentance & Regret for what I didn't say, torment over what I did say and should not have . She didn't know how much I love her how deeply I love . My failure , I didn't protect her I wasn't paying attention the devil came in the back door . I have another daughter who needs me I have to survive but in raw honesty right now I really don't want to.
Yes, deep faith, but the hole is so deep 😢 May the Lord strengthen us all!
You are not alone Victoria, I feel the same struggles, pain, regrets, and a hole in my heart as you. I feel like a failure too but being busy and talking to someone helps me. I also have a daughter and grandchildren who loves me and need me. And also I know, I know that our prodigal children will come to us Victoria, so you must take care of yourself because you other daughter will need you Sending you a big hug
That devil that came in the back door…that is who has you believing that your daughter doesn’t know that you love her. All those years together? She definitely knows. And she can feel it too, in the private moments that she allows herself.
I hope she finds her way out of this and that you are blessed with some peace. ❤️
It's true. She knows.
But cults are terribly powerful things. And the adults behind this cult are terribly invested in teaching her lies for their own profit.
Her heart still knows you. It always will.
I will pray for you, Victoria. As Una-Jane commented, keep going- you must.
Keep going, Victoria. It is all you can and MUST do. For your other child. Solidarity.
"How could we have anticipated something so deliberately engineered? This didn’t happen overnight. It was built slowly, carefully, and reinforced by systems and voices we never imagined would target our families. We didn’t fail. We were unprepared for something none of us were warned about."
So elegantly and concisely stated! And so very, very true. I just don't believe the affected parents can even move forward if they don't really grasp this and take it to heart.
👏👏👏 thank you for expressing this. Beautifully. clearly. Sadly. Thank you
And we hope and pray that the foundation of love upon which we nurtured them brings them back to reality. Back to themselves. Back to doing what’s best for their body and their life and their health mentally and physically. And hopefully back to us. one day.
"Find your method" is a wonderful message.
Personally, I am trying to enjoy life, in all its complexity, including simpler things like good food, music, and a good show on tv, and to enjoy my son (who thankfully isn't falling for any of this), my husband, my extended family, my friends, my job, and my relationship with my trans-identified daughter, even as she poisons herself and lies to the world on a daily basis. I have no intention of letting this very sad aspect of my daughter's life ruin the rest of my life, and I have hope that it won't ruin hers!
I've gone over everything I could have or should have done to prevent her from making these terrible decisions - but obsessing on what might have been if I never gave her a cell phone and kept her computer in the living room, for example, will not do any good. Instead, I keep hope alive that she will lead a good life, and I try to lead a good one myself.
a very courageous and wise way to try to handle what has happened to you and your family. May your daughter some day see the light.....
This cult finds vulnerable kids whatever we do. I have leftist academic friends whose kids are trans-ID'd. I have conservative Christian friends whose kids are trans-ID'd. I have friends whose kids went through some real trauma who are now trans-ID'd. I have friends who gave their children lovely, supportive childhoods who are now trans-ID'd. As one friend of mine (no trans kids though) said to me a few years ago: we can't choose the cultural context or moment of our children's childhood. The best we can do is stand guard and hope to prevent them from making really bad decisions in that context/moment.
Most parents are victims of this cult too, although they'd give anything to take all of the harm on themselves instead of see their children take drugs and endure amputations and other Frankenstein "medicine."
All true.
Beautiful perspective. There is a fine line between blaming oneself and acknowledging that we could have done some things better. It's a difficult one to walk. I've reflected on what my things are, and know that even if I had not done those things, it wouldn't have inoculated my daughter against this problem. Part of the time, I was in a battle that I didn't yet know existed, nor did I know how many enemies were allied on the other side. We're the Davids; our institutions are the Goliath. The happy news is David prevailed.
I totally agree; thank you for articulating my thoughts.
I thought I found my method until a few days ago when my deeply-entrenched-in-trans-ideology daughter told me she wants to medically transition (now an adult) that she wants to ‘off’ herself if she can’t. She knows her dad and I are against anything that would harm her. I was devastated so I tried to talk to her. She’s been at her lowest these past few days but we are keeping an eye on her; closely. Yes, our faith in God sustains us.
God bless us and our children🙏
Talking to a trans person is often nearly impossible, but there are some tricks to open the door just a little bit. I read several books that might help some parents. One of them was on the techniques used by hostage negotiators. They try to only listen and while doing so they sow some seeds of doubt which may ultimately result in some insights found by the kidnapper (trans person) himself. So these negotiators act as allies and seem to agree, while they actually nudge towards their wanted outcome. I try with my daughter every day, listening and sowing seeds of doubt, but I initially made it so clear that I believe transition is not healthy that it may take years to regain her trust.
Another technique is talking about other issues which also require logical thinking. When I do that my daughter expresses great insights, but she doesn’t apply them to her transition (yet). It’s up to her to make the connection.
Another technique is focusing on the real issues. Trans is often just a symptom. With my daughter it is autism and sexuality. Something is blocked there. I found a great therapist but she’s not going (yet).
I wish you a lot of courage to get through these hard times. Stay strong, for you and for your daughter.
Thank you.
I’ve been trying to do that; not making headway as she is so smart and well read (just on her side) that she thinks she’s always right. I won’t stop trying, though.
God help us.
She is being coached online to threaten you with suicide. The problem with this is that studies show going through with these drugs and surgeries increases suicide ideation 19 times.
Is that what she wants? To wake up five years from now and be so desperate for her healthy body back that she really WILL want to "off' herself--and not just as a threat to get her way?
Can she understand that "she" who wants this today is not the only person who matters--that the "she" of the future deserves compassion too?
always praying for healing. Broken mother
So many people need to hear this! Thanks 🙏
Exactly. So many of us are in this place.
"As parents, blaming ourselves comes naturally. But the truth is, how could we have known? How could we have anticipated something so deliberately engineered? This didn’t happen overnight. It was built slowly, carefully, and reinforced by systems and voices we never imagined would target our families. We didn’t fail. We were unprepared for something none of us were warned about."
It is like preparing for planes to fly into the twin towers. It isn't possible.
The "trans" social contagion is now being eclipsed by estrangement social contagion. https://thetranstrain.substack.com/p/is-cutting-off-your-parents-a-new
As parents, we didn't see either contagion coming. And here we are. We are not alone. And we must continue to live. Thank you for writing this piece.
Exactly. How could we prepare for something so unnatural that has never happened before? The enemy comes to kill, steal, and destroy and our children are prime targets.