Five Most Common
A response to the estrangement advice industry.
The sex-rejection movement is a natural disaster.
It comes without warning.
It is indiscriminate.
It cares not how smart you are or how much you love your children. It doesn’t know the words “deserve” or “please” or “fair” or “reason” or “effort” or “thoughtful” or “love” or “family.”
It sweeps through like a tsunami and picks up and crushes everything in its path.
Some drown.
Some survive.
Which category you end up in depends mostly on luck.
Where were you standing when the earthquake hit?
Were you standing alone in a field eating raspberries? You had good luck.
Were you standing on the third floor of a 10-story concrete parking garage? You had bad luck.
Imagine a news article, written by mental health professionals (whose homes were not destroyed), the day after a devastating earthquake:
5 Most Common Mistakes of Earthquake Victims.
Foolishly living in that neighborhood, that house, that city.
Failing to predict the day and time of the earthquake.
Not trying hard enough to stop the earthquake.
Not running fast enough, or in the right direction, when the earth began to shake.
Not asking themselves what part they played in this earthquake. How might they have contributed to this disaster?
This advice is ill-timed, inappropriate, and not even applicable. It is also cruel.
To those who call themselves experts on estrangement, who peddle advice to shattered parents, I have some helpful advice for you:
Transgender ideation is a result of intense, powerful brainwashing.
It starts and continues online, and is sustained and intensified by peers, doctors, teachers, and the entire mental health field- therapists, psychologists, and social workers.
Imagine what it takes to convince thousands of healthy, attached, and normal children to sever their ties to reality. Sever their ties to their bodies. Sever their actual body parts. And sever themselves from their families.
This is beyond your pay grade.
This is beyond all our pay grades.
Thousands of parents, equipped with the best tools a person could collect, threw our whole selves into protecting our children. But the sex-rejection movement, like an earthquake, lands on anyone, of any age, anywhere. It rips apart families both metaphorically and literally, and many of us living through it eventually arrive at a heart-stopping conclusion: there is nothing to be done. We can’t stop the earthquake, and in fact, the only foolish part was believing people who told us we could.
Extremist indoctrination knows no empathy, no family bonds, no loyalty to self or mother or father. It knows no emotional intelligence, no morality, no memory.
It knows no remorse, no nuance, no soul searching, no doubt.
It knows only fealty to the ideology.
So, when you pass by someone picking through the rubble of their ruined home…
Don’t toss off a quick article on your way to the gym, or after your nap, or before your fun family dinner, about how to be a better, more loving, more cheerful earthquake survivor.
Don’t tell the survivors that the earthquake probably wouldn’t have happened if they had better boundaries. Or if the earthquake felt more heard and understood.
Don’t tell them they are only making things worse by crying or mourning, that the earthquake needs to see how strong they are, or that they should make sure the earthquake doesn’t feel blamed or shamed.
Don’t inquire as to how the survivor, in tattered clothes, bruised and battered, thinks they might have contributed to the earthquake. Don’t ask them why their wounds are bleeding or why their clothes are dirty.
Don’t ask them to write the earthquake a reconciliation letter.
Instead.
Stop and help them sift through the rubble, salvage what they can.
Reassure them that there is nothing they could have done to prevent this disaster.
Acknowledge their home is gone, and they are hurting and in shock.
***
Five Most Common Mistakes of Estranged Parents
1. Placing too much trust in those who would exploit their desperation and despair.
2. Believing that their child’s online indoctrination into an extremist ideology is somehow their fault.
3. Appealing to the humanity of a brainwashed child who has long ago dehumanized them.
4. Hoping to receive a shred of decency or respect from friends, family or society.
5. Trusting anyone who claims to hold a magic key or secret recipe, (conveniently behind a paywall), that can solve a sweeping cultural problem wrongfully presented as a familial dynamic.
Five Most Common Mistakes of So-Called Estrangement-Expert Influencers
1. Lacking humility.
2. Getting confused about being a helper versus being an influencer; seeking prestige or celebrity status by profiting off heartbreak.
3. Capitalizing on the propensity of parents to blame themselves, in order to mislead them into thinking they have control over their brainwashed child’s actions.
4. Selling expensive concepts, packages or toolkits that claim to hold the solution to ideological estrangement.
5. Fooling themselves (and parents) that there is a therapeutic solution to ideological estrangement in the first place.
***
If you have five very important things to say, let them be said to the doctors, teachers, and therapists. Say them to politicians and glitter families. Say them to WPATH. Say them to the Democrats. Say them to the CEOs of Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat YouTube, and Discord. Take the weapons of indoctrination and mutilation out of their diabolical and depraved hands and advise them all- 5 times, 10 times, 10,000 times- to stop destroying our children and families.
100% the most accurate description of our lives. I'll remember this tonight when I am up at 2 in the morning: I can't blame myself for the earthquake.
A very powerful column. Please! Excerpt this and send to The Free Press, or WSJ. As a parent who has lost a beautiful son to trans madness and estrangement— I’m so tired of feeling like mine is a little voice shouting into a powerful wind. Thank you for writing!