Frozen in This Moment
Dear Daughter,
Why do you want to be a boy? I’ve been asking this quietly in my head for almost two years now. Sometimes I want to shake you and scream “You are not a boy!” or “Ignore what you learned in Elementary school!” or “Child Protective Services could come take you away from me if you tell the progressive California activist teacher at your school your mother isn’t on board!!” But all the advice from veteran parents in this mess says to love bomb your kid and plant seeds of doubt. And that seems to be working…. But my heart, oh my heart, I want to say something more to the little girl that used to sing “Let It Go” at the top of her lungs. So maybe I’ll soften my words a bit…
I want you to have the best life, a healthy life and a sound mind. The more I research what it means to be trans, the more I realize how complicated and difficult it is. Gender dysphoria is still listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Illnesses (DSM-5). Thinking you are born in the wrong body is a disconnection from reality, which by definition is a mental illness. I do not want you to have a mental illness. No mother would want that for any child.
OKAY that sounds a bit softer I think, could I add this?
I do not believe schools should be teaching kids that they can change sex, because it is impossible to change sex. School personnel are confusing the gay, lesbian and bisexual equality movement with the non-binary or transgender equality movement. LGB is about sexual attraction, the right to love who you love. Non-binary and Trans movements are about a desired identity that requires the world around them to lie, under the guise of being kind and inclusive. It is not kind to lie. Schools should not be lying to children. The world should not be lying to mentally ill people. Trans women are not women and Trans men are not men. The schools should not keep a kid's mental illness from their parents. Any person that tells you “your parents can’t be trusted” or that “this has to stay a secret from them”, is stranger danger 101. Preferred pronouns are such a touchy subject because telling your brain to believe something your eyes don’t see is a disconnect most of us have a hard time with. Using opposite pronouns requires the other person to conform to a delusion and have their language policed. Why is it okay for someone to call me a ciswoman if that is not how I identify, yet I have to use preferred pronouns otherwise I’m not being kind? It’s hypocritical, to say the least.
OKAY maybe not the school part, it’s tainted with so much anger towards your school… but maybe this:
I want you to really be open-minded and let go of your belief that you are a boy for now. I do not want you to convince yourself you have a mental illness. You have so much time to discover who you are in so many other ways that do not include gender. You are far too young to be making lifelong decisions about gender that may affect your mental and physical health. So, for now, I would like you to focus on everything about you that is not trans. For example. your wonderful art, important school work, friendships, keeping your room clean, remembering to turn in your schoolwork, reading for enjoyment and your newest interest in learning about complex historical topics (which I’m very impressed by, btw). I want you to learn to be a critical thinker and not accept every bit of information you learn about as true. 80% of kids who are gender confused grow out of it. Give yourself the opportunity to grow out of it if you can, so that you can avoid living with a mental illness the rest of your life. Please my sweet sugar baby, LET IT GO.
Stand strong dear parent! You see it clearly: "Non-binary and Trans movements are about a desired identity that requires the world around them to lie, under the guise of being kind and inclusive. It is not kind to lie." Let your grounding to reality and truth shine bright every day!
End Affirmation care! Say no to use of incorrect pronouns, say no to binders, say no to tuck underwear and bathing suits, say no to cross sex hormones, say no to men in dresses, say no to weird furry movements or ideas, say no to cross sex surgeries, say no to pornography.
Say yes to that every human being is beautiful and unique and equal, say yes that children will get through puberty just fine and have for thousands of years, say yes that women are beautiful and special and need protection at all times, say yes that boys can grow up to be men and take on as much responsibility as they possibly can, say yes to the beauty of life and babies, say yes to the beauty of nature all around us everyday, say yes to loving your neighbor as yourself, say yes to the study and pursuit of knowledge of this world we are bound to, say yes to developing long term meaningful relationships, say yes to being a good friend who listens and does not judge, say yes to being a good spouse who loves and who loves children. Say yes to being the best version of yourself without any drugs, say yes to loving yourself as much as you can.