Thank you for writing this. There are many reasons for estrangement. Some adult children who are identifying as trans just can't handle being questioned or having a conversation. In our experience with parent groups, the adult child has deep depression and anxiety and is so convinced by the trans ally mob that we are bigots, a conversation is just not possible. Which makes this a cult. A cult member cannot leave the cult. Twin flames is a great example. Watch any cult show and you will see lots of parallels to the trans community. So, it's up to the adult child to realize that the cult is not serving their best interest any longer. This could mean regret of surgeries initially or irreversible endocrine damage, joint pain, a stroke, an emergency hysterectomy. At this point in an adult's life - they don't want to ask parents for help because they are so worried about "I told you so". They have a poor view of parents who were just trying to help and would be there for them - post transition - because we love our kids and nothing can ever, ever change that. Yet, with regret, comes stages of grief. Denial, anger, etc. When you have mental problems, it takes a lot of self respect and knowledge to say you were actually wrong. These trans identifying adults really believe that something is wrong with them and they are the wrong sex because that is what the medical industry is telling them. And the industry is telling them that if their parents are Christians or question this then they are unsafe. This is what type of therapy they get. It's a medical scandal, cult and cultural rebellion. The parents are the enemies to the cult because parents are the only folks who love their children enough to share cold hard truths and try to protect them. Even the greatest in the field (Joshua Coleman) are missing the mark and listening to the radicals that let children lead this. It's bizarre and sad. It's a let down and I can't wait for 10 more years to roll by. The medical community will be forever mistrusted. As a cancer survivor, I am pretty disgusted with the medical community but I am a medical patient for life so I don't have much of a choice but to love the ones who I know what a true pathology is and try to talk to them a bit about this. The rest of them are pathological liars. No one wants to look at it. These estrangement specialists like to say: "You need to accept your daughter for who she is." Um well, I am the only person who accepts that my son can't change sex. So, f... off, parentphobe"
Thank you for reading the letter to your school board and putting it on public record. When I read the letter out loud, it took me just over 5 minutes. I am sure it could be read faster, but it did it at a calm and easy listening pace. Some school boards allow 5 minutes for public comment, some 3 minutes, and some just 2 minutes. I hope it is a good template that anyway can use to edit as they see fit.
My adult son has desisted/detransitioned (I think. I'll find out later this month when we visit) but is still heavily influenced and surrounds himself with unhealthy people, making poor decisions.
My therapist friend told me recently to pretty much do what you're recommending. My friend said she is now just telling her adult kids about their crazy ideas, not rooted in reality, "That's great. I'm sure you know what you're doing. Good for you!" Not interjecting or giving advice anymore. She said she's just trying to keep herself busy. I want to do the same. I need to start. Her kids are not caught up in the trans indoctrination mind you.
I'm back to crying everyday again... I thought I was better, but I'm just sad and worried and wondered what happened. I have to stop trying to figure that out. I may never know and it doesn't really matter.
I do want to immerse myself in something totally unrelated, to engage with others on a shared passion or goal to help people. I think your point is well taken about feeling like you're making a difference in a completely unrelated way. Thanks for the good advice.
I have to force myself to find other things to read, and to reduce my consumption of trans information: books, podcasts, videos. I'm trying to read other topics.
God bless you, for sharing on this platform of heartbroken parents and for standing up for kids and families at your school board meeting. You are brave. I hope your son can find his loving family again.
There is a beneficiary to the estrangement. The less of it we allow, the more we preserve of our cherished relationships. Forgiveness will be the eventual key.
Sometimes I feel like we're the parents of a bunch of parental children. They can't guide their own children because they're children themselves. Like it or not, we're the responsible adults providing adult supervision.
I credit the original author of the letter. I was able to read it as a lengthy quote, and thus make it sound more like a caution than an admonishment. The admonishment is in some cases deserved, but the larger the audience, the more tempering is appropriate.
I tried to speak about this at a support group for people whose loved ones committed suicide. My own son, on the autism spectrum, did so after succumbing to the lure of prescription drug fixes. When he pulled the trigger he was on five different drugs, each one prescribed to relieve the adverse symptoms of the prior. The first drug was marketed to him illegally, five years AFTER the makers paid half a billion fine for illegally marketing that same drug. The trans issue particularly bugs me because tho my son wasn't trans, those on the autism spectrum are disproportionately being butchered. When I tried to bring up the topic of 'gender affirming care' at the support meeting, which occurred in the room of a church whose lobby had LGBT material on display in the lobby, I was treated as if I'd just turned invisible. I was used to the treatment after 20 years of trying to speak about vax injured children. I've noticed the reactions I get when I try to speak of children whose genitals have been butchered are the same reactions I'd get when trying to speak of children horrifically maimed by childhood vaccines. Doesn't matter if it's online or irl. People just DO NOT WANT TO KNOW.
With all the profound heartache of my son's obscene medicalization in the trans cult, he is still alive. I've been pondering loss since my nightmare began almost three years ago, , and how awful it would be to have my child die. Sending you compassion. I hope you are finding some peace and some solace after your loss of your son.
For facts on the HAZARDS of Vaccinations… There is an amazing, well-researched essay on Vaccines called:
“Vaccines: What’s In It? The NUMBER ONE Question!”
QUOTE from the page:
“Do you really think “Mainlining” an infant, toddler, or small child with POISONS, TOXINS, HEAVY METALS, and an UNSAFE assortment of ANTIBIOTICS into a child with a STILL UNDEVELOPED BRAIN will not affect their brain development? Just go ahead and stick any damned thing in a vaccine, then select a random combination of some of the 70 various vaccines that are now recommended for children, it can’t hurt?
There is no greater example of pseudoscience than saying it is safe to inject toxic items like mercury, aluminum, and formaldehyde into any living being, much less a newborn infant or a child.
The IDEA and PRACTICE of using vaccines is GOOD, preventing disease is GOOD!
But adding HARMFUL INGREDIENTS is BAD!
It is the PRACTICE of the Vaccine Manufacturers, adding all kinds of POISONS, TOXINS, HEAVY METALS, an UNSAFE assortment of ANTIBIOTICS and other UNNECESSARY CRAP such as FOOD COLORING and FLAVOR ENHANCERS.
GOT FOOD ALLERGIES?
Injecting food products like PEANUTS, EGGS, SOY, GELATIN, YEAST, and DAIRY into the vaccines is an ABNORMAL and UNSAFE route of entry and is a prime cause for serious allergies to those all too common foods. Then the Doctors may mix up various vaccines that may not “Play Well” together, such as an ANTIBIOTIC in one, which is NEVER supposed to be used in conjunction with different ANTIBIOTIC in another vaccine that is by Law, only supposed to be administered in a HOSPITAL setting… Some of these ingredients require the Chemical Industry’s ‘Material Safety Data Sheets’ (MSDS) because they are HazMat (Hazardous Materials) chemicals (such as flammable or poisonous material) that would be a danger to life or to the environment if released without precautions, or where external or internal bodily contact is a hazard to health…
All of this is BAD! Very Bad!”
Want to learn MORE of the TRUTH about “What’s in it?” and the Vaccine Mafia?
Think putting Yeast, Milk, Eggs, and PEANUTS in a vaccine can’t hurt?
That is the prime reason so MANY people are DEATHLY ALLERGIC to these substances!
Four of the five of us have had serious vaccine reactions, so we stopped vaxxing 25 years ago. My husband lost his job during the mandates over it (he’s in healthcare.) But even the extended family, who have born witness to the four of us suffer these adverse reactions, do not understand. Once someone has been brainwashed to believe something, it’s very difficult to get them to objectively examine hard evidence. Until it happens to them of their own.
Even when they lie, then later retract the lie, it means nothing!
The lie has been told, the lie has been believed! The damage is done! It is harder for people to understand that they have been lied to, then it is to believe what is the real truth, after first learning the lie.
People who have first been told a lie as being a fact, and of course, they believe the lie.
It is human nature to believe whatever “truth” (whether true or false) that is HEARD FIRST that is always what is to be ‘believed’. The very first time you hear something (opinion/fact/lie) it becomes your “base model”. Everything after that is compared to the original base idea. The tabula rasa (blank slate) is imprinted with the original idea. Nothing will be as innate as the base model.
You can’t un-ring a bell. If a media outlet lies once, you should be leery. If they lie more than once, you should never again believe a damn thing they say, unless, of course, you are a Leftist parrot, incapable of thinking for yourself and need something to regurgitate.
That is why the Left doesn’t care about telling the lies they tell: even if they are refuted and proven wrong, the intellectually lazy will already have believed them and enlisted as willful soldiers of the deception. Then these same deceived people are enlisting into committing violence and mayhem in the name of those same lies!
I read online “The Story of Taps” (the music usually played on a bugle at sundown and military funerals) concerning the purely fictional “Union Army Captain Robert Ellicombe” it was a totally false story, but it was presented as a historical fact, However, at the time, I had no way of knowing that it was pure fiction. Shortly thereafter, I was talking about it and a person corrected me with the true story concerning the very real: Union Gen. Daniel Adams Butterfield, of course I did not believe it and I thought the teller was nuts, (my tabula rasa (blank slate) was imprinted with the original idea) but I researched it and found out he was absolutely correct!
“One who acquires political beliefs early in life and rarely changes any of them is incapable of learning from experience.” – Marilyn von Savant
I agree with much of what you’ve shared, however I find much fault with Locke’s idea.
In our experience, my husband and I have raised three adult children, each of who were fully formed personalities at birth, each distinctly different in ways that have remained true to form into adulthood. Some things may have been triggered by vaccination, (autism for one/epilepsy and ADHD for another,) but I personally believe, ultimately, were ancestrally inherited; what is called a “generational curse” in the Bible. I believe those curses are literally encoded in our genes. Sometimes we sin, (which is an archery term that means “to miss the mark,”) and that error activates one possibility in life. Something like a “Choose Your Own Adventure,” book, but one we wrote for ourselves before our own birth.
Because I believe in free will, I believe that we all agreed to the parameters of our current physical conditions before we became physical. It’s the reason we are here. To figure it out and play a bit part in one another’s lives, to help each other figure it all out, and then to walk one another Home.
We aren’t blank slates. We are rich tapestries of heritage and ancestry. We just bury it all in our shadows because we are too afraid to face God.
As I said, “I believe,” and “that’s my opinion.” This is how I understand the doctrine of free will. Alternatively, if we are all victims of our birth, how are we free?
I was trying to have an honest conversation with you. No need to be snarky simply because I hold a different perspective.
I am so sorry for your loss. And I agree, so many people just don't want to know. But I think this will only get worse unless people keep speaking out. I find it works best one-on-one. No one wants to be the one to get cast out of a group.
Mark Twain once said, "It's easier to fool someone than to convince them they've been fooled". This is probably even more true within the autism spectrum. People don't want to know at first, but they'll eventually be swayed when the find enough believable literature. Journaling and authoring are of the most benefit to the person doing the journaling and authoring. Maybe that's why Mark Twain was an author, now that I think of it.
Unfortunately the two volunteer groups organizations from which I dropped out and pulled funding had fully embraced the trans movement, which is largely why I pulled out. I’m not sure how to get comfortable with 55 people, because my experience is that everyone is easy to talk to...right up until you hit on a controversial subject like trans, COVID vaccines, Trump, Ukraine, etc. Then, if you’re not aligned, the conversation and comfort level disappear quickly.
I'll be the first to admit it's a challenge. One method I have of discerning willing "partners in thinking" is a game I call "win win checkers". If you and that person can get all 24 checkers kinged, there is a much better chance they might want to tackle real-world problems. Here's what it looks like, start to finish... https://winwincheckers.wordpress.com/
It takes about 9 minutes to read the whole letter out loud. I did it over 3-minute sessions spread over 3 months. In many districts, there are no visual aids allowed during public comment. The sign you see in the photo is technically not a visual aid, since it's on the desk and 11 x 17 or smaller.
I took myself off social media four years ago, but I joined X last week so that I can start throwing my hat in the ring in small ways. Baby steps. Merely admitting online that our daughter went “no contact” with us feels like parading our scars about in the nude publicly, but I have to get past the shame, the hurt, and the anger somehow. Thank you for encouraging us all to find our voices, and to break out of the shell and make new contacts. I am trying. 🙂
I know how you feel unfortunately. My daughter went no contact 5 months ago and I am hiding too. My friends all think it’s no big deal she will come back and I just nod my head. I feel like no one understands
I understand. But I can’t nod my head anymore. Two of my closest friends have said this to me in the past week, but the way I feel right now, unless she came back repentant, I honestly don’t know if I could receive her. I hope this changes in the future, but I’ve gone from depressed to grieved to angry, and angry me needs an apology.
I’ve been grieving the loss of my mother for the past four years, so I am keenly aware that this is a stage, one of many that we all cycle through. And it helps so much to talk about it. I’m glad we don’t have to hide here.
Be kind to yourself. When I started admitting it online, there were one of two responses: 1. TRAs saying if you had accepted your (faux sex) child, they wouldn't do that - no wonder they left you or 2. You should have (insert their favorite superior parenting advice). It's not out fault. Be kind to yourself. It's not your fault. It's the fault of the cult that caught our vulnerable kids. Sorry you're part of the estranged parents group.
Thank you, I can’t begin to tell you how grateful I am for this group!! I had joined a support group only to find out after a few months in that in order to continue to participate, I had to “affirm” beliefs that are contrary to my own. 🙁 It’s been so difficult to find support elsewhere. I’ve engaged in the “comments section” on YouTube a few times, and have encountered a number of TRAs. They like to “dog pile” on comments they don’t like. It’s helped me develop a tougher skin, but they can be quite cruel.
X suspended my account. I believe it was the pinned tweet with the drawing of a hangman's scaffold and the words 'Thank you for your 'vaccine'. We've made you a 'play swing'. But who really knows .. they never tell you why. I was always careful, when saying people should hang, to say 'after a fair trial of course'. Perhaps I forgot once.
The hurt and anger are hard to get past, but it's doable. The shame part?.....it depends on the other person. There are friends that I talk to about the estrangement because I know they believe that my daughter (adult) needs to grow out of this to come through it, but there are some others that I lie to and keep this all a secret. It's really hard when close family members think you are a bad parent for not affirming the big lie.
We are all finding our voices in ways we wouldn't have dreamed being necessary when we were all kids. One indispensable tool is Patrick Winston's "How to Speak". https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Unzc731iCUY
Hi presentation is not specific to transgenderism, but it provides good guidance on how to make your subjects credible to as many of your listeners as possible.
I'm sorry you're feeling estrangement from your sons. I understand all to well - our third Christmas for the son in the cult and now three months for the older ally son. It is something that is in the zeitgeist of Gen Z. I blame social media / gaming. Thank you for being on our side and speaking up for those of us who are silent because we hope our sons/daughters will come back. Many of us are doing other things behind the scenes. Peace and Strength to you.
I salute your efforts. If we had raised our sons ten years later, we would have encountered the same risks. That's why I felt moved to speak up publicly.
Take it from an aggrieved parent: Put tight reigns on all computer use for your sons. Use parental monitoring software, and restrict use at certain time periods. Do not fall for the caution, like I did, that if you don’t let them use the computer at will they will find someplace else to do it. That led to the disaster which I described in my PITT story last July. If they defy you and sneak a computer use elsewhere, that is not on you. You will, at least, be able to honestly say you did all you could, and you left a legacy of loving discipline.
The idea that legalized cannabis is a problem is a bit of an odd take. I would rather police be doing the job of catching actual criminals than trying to bust someone for smoking a joint. People have been given worse prison sentences for marijuana possession than for sexual assault. Further, marijuana has genuine medical benefits. Legalized cannabis is far from a problem. Being able to obtain marijuana for recreational use from a reputable dispensary is no different than being able to go to a liquor store and buy a bottle of your chosen libation.
For those who may be assuming I take issue with this because I'm a frequent flyer on Marijuana Express, I don't use cannabis to get high. I use CBD oil (the part of the plant that doesn't cause a high) for pain issues. When I was a home health nurse, I had a patient who was able to wean off multiple sedating anti-seizure medications through the use of CBD oil, which has anti-spasmodic properties. He went from being asleep most of the time to being alert.
I simply wanted to point this out because I find there are still many people who buy into the old "reefer madness" idea about marijuana. These beliefs are fallacious. Legalization of marijuana is a good thing.
As a mom and retired internist, I would respectfully beg to differ with you on the effects of THC on the adolescent and young adult brain. This new “distilled and concentrated” form of THC is highly potent and addictive and has been linked to schizophrenia, especially in young men. I encourage you to read the very touching and informative work of Laura Stack, who lost her son, Johnny, after he jumped off a building thinking he could fly. He kept a careful journal with increasing paranoia symptoms as his dabbing use of THC increased. After his death Laura found his journal and that launched her on her journey to investigate the “modern marijuana”, write her book and travel the country speaking to young people and parents to raise awareness. I believe many teens are using THC to self-medicate for anxiety, much of which is the result of isolation ( COVID lockdowns, video games) and social media overuse ( vs in-person fellowship)
I take your point and largely agree. But there is some good research results that suggest cannabis in teen boys can increase anxiety and suicide thoughts. My grandson has not fallen to the trans ideation but he really really struggles with depression and anxiety and uses pot a lot. I think it may be contributing to his mental struggles.
I agree that CBD has benefits. I really should have phrased it "excess legalized cannabis". Like all good things, there can be diminishing returns. Thanks for this feedback.
I'll add to this: no matter what your ideological persuasion, for God's sake just hold your nose and vote straight ticket Republican. From president on down to dog catcher, you need to punish the left until the dnc renounces sexual and racial identitarianism from its platform
PITT is not supposed to be a venue for political campaigning. You want to vote for a rapist for president? I guess that's your choice but not one I can stand behind.
in case you missed it, trump LOST his case v. Jean Carrol in which the accusation was he raped her in a department store changing room. That is not rhetoric. It refers to events in trump's life in which he "grabbed her by the pussy" to use his own phrase.
PITT is not supposed to be about partisan politics. Polarizing the medicalization of our kids will only hurt more people.
Your CNN talking points are not going to fly! there are so many things wrong with that statement, i dont even know where to begin.
it really doesnt matter how you feel qbout trump - it is about policy.
Were you better off 5 years ago or now?
At the end of the day, are you going to vote for the people that support this destruction of our kids(D) or the people that want to protect our kids (R)?
LOL. You've no idea about my education or where I get my news. Just back off of me. Seriously. This is not a political venue but people keep coming back to this. FWIW: Republican agendas and platforms are egregiously bad. Like: denying that woman in Texas an abortion to save her own future fertility when the baby is going to die in any event. That is simply inhumane and bizarrely punitive. Never never never would I vote for people who think that's ok. And that's just one point. This is not supposed to be a political venue so I'll leave it at that but please: stop the personal attacks and stop the political proselytizing. This is like trying to shut the door on Seventh Day Adventists or something. Just stop.
Lifetime democrat here. I could get behind several of the potential GOP candidates. But after the above and Jan 6, I cannot and will not vote trump. If the GOP wants to get moderate and democratic votes, they need to get trump out and put someone else in. Side note, I have voted Republican in governor, state and local elections based solely on this issue.
Will it hurt as much as voting for the people who are facilitating and promoting this madness? Sometimes “the enemy of my enemy is my friend.” I do not like Trump as a person, in fact I don’t like politics at all. But the reality is, this “movement” went mainstream because our current leadership is promoting it and actively eroding parental rights. I do have hope that Trump will pump the brakes on our descent into insanity.
It’s a broken, two party system, so what’s the alternative? Civil war? Revolution? Or acceptance.
I cannot concede.
I agree that it is ideal if this space remains neutral (politically) for all members, but we also need to be able to discuss HOW to change what is happening to our families and society as a united front, because at the end of the day, we all have the same agenda: to protect our children. I am apolitical, independent, and would not vote for someone merely because of a party affiliation, but I will 💯 vote for anyone willing to stand up for parents and against Big Pharma! Because this madness needs to stop NOW. A vote for Biden, or whoever they replace him with, is clearly a vote for this madness to escalate.
It is a luxury that we as a nation cannot afford to vote for high offices based on one single issue.
All of us parents are hurting. Our hurts are up close and personal.
On the other hand, huge national and international issues are at stake in our upcoming federal government elections.
I personally will vote to protect our Republic and our Constitution. No candidate who thinks violence is a political tactic or storming the Capitol is Ok or even good will earn a vote from me. No candidate facing felony charges will earn my vote. No candidate who foments hatred will earn my vote. No candidate who advocates for sexual assault or who participated or enabled sexual assault will earn my vote.
Meanwhile I will also lobby politicians to Wake-Up and stop supporting the sterilization of children with GD.
Alexesq you need to do more research. CNN is not a credible source. Joe and the hoe are destroying the constitution and every American value. Please wake up and smell the tyranny.
“Peacefully and patriotically let our voices be heard”---1/6/20 DJT
It’s far more than a single issue for me, perhaps for all of us, though it is a pivotal one. I don’t subscribe to the insurrection narrative, seems to me that there is far more evidence of an inside job, more motive, and more to gain. We all have to decide for ourselves what is true and what is media propaganda,
but the mere difference in the quality of life during the previous administration vs. the economic implosion we are currently witnessing, the huge influx of illegals that freely commit violent crimes, the exploding homeless population, the sudden epidemic of fentanyl deaths... whether our taxes should be funding “gender affirmation care” to the tune of $1m or more per patient... Definitely NOT a singular issue. But a crucial one.
The bolshevik revolution was actually an export from the Bronx to Russia. Perhaps we have been the recipient of another country's revolutionaries (doesn't matter from where).
Very deep. The political divide is vast. One would think protecting parental rights, girls' sports and sex segregated spaces, and stopping the sterilization and sexual harm of children and young adults would be non-political. yet here we are.
And fourth, posterity! I wrote a PITT article, Aug. 23, 2022, mostly because I wanted to be a piece of history. It is insane what is happening and I wanted to add my voice. Also to help others. Also to help myself. The order was backwards. I will take your advice on writing for myself (cathartic) and my social circle - it will help ideas come out since I write under a pen name.
"To my coworker who used to be a friend - you were wrong to tell me that a boy's feelings don't matter when he encountered a biological girl in the boy's bathroom".
I will get right on this!
It is true about joining groups as well. I spend so much time listening to my teen daughter that I need a time to share my ideas too, not just about trans.
Thank you for your encouragement. My son succumbed to the "trans" cult during freshman year of college. He's 21 and has declined on every metric. It's heartbreaking for myself and my husband. I've written PITT essays, but your essay inspires me as a retired psychologist to consider writing an essay about the horror for a publication for mental health providers -- though who knows if any such publication would have the fortitude to publish the truth, despite the capture of the mental and medical health field, academia, and so many people it boggles my mind. I am beyond disillusioned with the world that allows the "trans" nightmare to destroy lives, shatter families, infiltrate women's spaces, and nullify women's sports.
I think you should unretire yourself as a psychologist. There are so few in your industry that will fight for our kids. I have been to 3 therapist since my daughter left 5 months ago and have been told it is my fault because I won’t affirm her. One guy even reprimanded me like I was a child. So I suffer alone unable to get the help my family and I need.
I feel your pain. In my family of an affirming husbands and 2 daughters thinking being boys is better for them. I am the wicked witch who does not care.
I am an educator. I’ve thought seriously about going back for my psychology masters or a life coach certification for this very reason. We need non affirmative professionals willing to dig into the heavy stuff with these young people. There is something at the root of each individual’s distress and that is what they need help discovering.
We should all be proud of our humanity, our gender, our race, our culture, and our age/walk of life, in that order. We are being baited on all five of those levels. May we all have peace.
I would put that question in the full context of 5:
1) What is humanity?
2) What is gender/sex?
3) What is race?
4) What is culture?
5) What is walk of life?
None of those can be answered without answering the other 4. Speaking for myself, I am an elder Irish Catholic white male who loves his fellow man. And that only begins to describe what God has blessed me with.
STOP!!! This language game is bullshit!!! These young women and men are pumping their bodies full of synthetic wrong sex hormones, cutting off body part--irreversibly destroying their bodies. This activism is taking away their right for a normal life -for what? What happens next? For a life full of medicalization? Who benefits?
So enough of the “gender” or “sex” game. The focus needs to be on HEALTH--physically and mentally!!!!!
When I was growing up many moons ago, gender only referred to pronouns and things. In other languages, many things have gender, but not people. Like so many other things, we have allowed the nut jobs to high jack grammar and common sense. It will be a cold day in hell when I call an individual they. They is plural...period. It defies reason otherwise, and I will not play the game. Too many people are too willing to go along to get along. Grow a spine!
I am being a bit tough on you. I know you have a good heart. But our words matter and sex-based rights matter. I do not have a gender. I, and you, have sexed body. Our male and female differences should be embraced, for better or for worse.
Gender is defined as the male of female version of a species. The words gender and sex have been intertwined as far back as the 1500s. Gender/sex is determined by chromosomes of XX or XY. I assume you are aware of this basic science. Hopefully you didn’t post here just to start an argument. That would just be cruel and apathetic.
my point was not to start an argument. my point was to encourage us not to use the language that got us into this mess in the first place. In my large dictionary, gender is simply the masculine and feminine of language. I agree that sex and gender got intertwined in the sense that people started to use them interchangeably in order to be polite. Not sure that it went back as far as the 1500s. I am using the word sex when referring to men or women for clarity.
Thank you for writing this. There are many reasons for estrangement. Some adult children who are identifying as trans just can't handle being questioned or having a conversation. In our experience with parent groups, the adult child has deep depression and anxiety and is so convinced by the trans ally mob that we are bigots, a conversation is just not possible. Which makes this a cult. A cult member cannot leave the cult. Twin flames is a great example. Watch any cult show and you will see lots of parallels to the trans community. So, it's up to the adult child to realize that the cult is not serving their best interest any longer. This could mean regret of surgeries initially or irreversible endocrine damage, joint pain, a stroke, an emergency hysterectomy. At this point in an adult's life - they don't want to ask parents for help because they are so worried about "I told you so". They have a poor view of parents who were just trying to help and would be there for them - post transition - because we love our kids and nothing can ever, ever change that. Yet, with regret, comes stages of grief. Denial, anger, etc. When you have mental problems, it takes a lot of self respect and knowledge to say you were actually wrong. These trans identifying adults really believe that something is wrong with them and they are the wrong sex because that is what the medical industry is telling them. And the industry is telling them that if their parents are Christians or question this then they are unsafe. This is what type of therapy they get. It's a medical scandal, cult and cultural rebellion. The parents are the enemies to the cult because parents are the only folks who love their children enough to share cold hard truths and try to protect them. Even the greatest in the field (Joshua Coleman) are missing the mark and listening to the radicals that let children lead this. It's bizarre and sad. It's a let down and I can't wait for 10 more years to roll by. The medical community will be forever mistrusted. As a cancer survivor, I am pretty disgusted with the medical community but I am a medical patient for life so I don't have much of a choice but to love the ones who I know what a true pathology is and try to talk to them a bit about this. The rest of them are pathological liars. No one wants to look at it. These estrangement specialists like to say: "You need to accept your daughter for who she is." Um well, I am the only person who accepts that my son can't change sex. So, f... off, parentphobe"
Thank you for reading the letter to your school board and putting it on public record. When I read the letter out loud, it took me just over 5 minutes. I am sure it could be read faster, but it did it at a calm and easy listening pace. Some school boards allow 5 minutes for public comment, some 3 minutes, and some just 2 minutes. I hope it is a good template that anyway can use to edit as they see fit.
So glad to help. Now that it's been done somewhere, it's more likely to happen everywhere.
My adult son has desisted/detransitioned (I think. I'll find out later this month when we visit) but is still heavily influenced and surrounds himself with unhealthy people, making poor decisions.
My therapist friend told me recently to pretty much do what you're recommending. My friend said she is now just telling her adult kids about their crazy ideas, not rooted in reality, "That's great. I'm sure you know what you're doing. Good for you!" Not interjecting or giving advice anymore. She said she's just trying to keep herself busy. I want to do the same. I need to start. Her kids are not caught up in the trans indoctrination mind you.
I'm back to crying everyday again... I thought I was better, but I'm just sad and worried and wondered what happened. I have to stop trying to figure that out. I may never know and it doesn't really matter.
I do want to immerse myself in something totally unrelated, to engage with others on a shared passion or goal to help people. I think your point is well taken about feeling like you're making a difference in a completely unrelated way. Thanks for the good advice.
I have to force myself to find other things to read, and to reduce my consumption of trans information: books, podcasts, videos. I'm trying to read other topics.
God bless you, for sharing on this platform of heartbroken parents and for standing up for kids and families at your school board meeting. You are brave. I hope your son can find his loving family again.
There is a beneficiary to the estrangement. The less of it we allow, the more we preserve of our cherished relationships. Forgiveness will be the eventual key.
We need lots of adults to be the voice of reason for parents and all citizens.
I agree. Adulthood, at it's core, is the willing to allow our thoughts to influence our feelings, and allowing our feelings to influence our actions.
Sometimes I feel like we're the parents of a bunch of parental children. They can't guide their own children because they're children themselves. Like it or not, we're the responsible adults providing adult supervision.
So true. Trauma in one generation leads to more difficult decisions in the next.
A smart idea. Knowledge is power in resisting dangerous ideals.
Thanks for this feedback. When we acquiesce to evil, we give it a license it doesn't deserve.
Excellent idea!
I credit the original author of the letter. I was able to read it as a lengthy quote, and thus make it sound more like a caution than an admonishment. The admonishment is in some cases deserved, but the larger the audience, the more tempering is appropriate.
I tried to speak about this at a support group for people whose loved ones committed suicide. My own son, on the autism spectrum, did so after succumbing to the lure of prescription drug fixes. When he pulled the trigger he was on five different drugs, each one prescribed to relieve the adverse symptoms of the prior. The first drug was marketed to him illegally, five years AFTER the makers paid half a billion fine for illegally marketing that same drug. The trans issue particularly bugs me because tho my son wasn't trans, those on the autism spectrum are disproportionately being butchered. When I tried to bring up the topic of 'gender affirming care' at the support meeting, which occurred in the room of a church whose lobby had LGBT material on display in the lobby, I was treated as if I'd just turned invisible. I was used to the treatment after 20 years of trying to speak about vax injured children. I've noticed the reactions I get when I try to speak of children whose genitals have been butchered are the same reactions I'd get when trying to speak of children horrifically maimed by childhood vaccines. Doesn't matter if it's online or irl. People just DO NOT WANT TO KNOW.
With all the profound heartache of my son's obscene medicalization in the trans cult, he is still alive. I've been pondering loss since my nightmare began almost three years ago, , and how awful it would be to have my child die. Sending you compassion. I hope you are finding some peace and some solace after your loss of your son.
For facts on the HAZARDS of Vaccinations… There is an amazing, well-researched essay on Vaccines called:
“Vaccines: What’s In It? The NUMBER ONE Question!”
QUOTE from the page:
“Do you really think “Mainlining” an infant, toddler, or small child with POISONS, TOXINS, HEAVY METALS, and an UNSAFE assortment of ANTIBIOTICS into a child with a STILL UNDEVELOPED BRAIN will not affect their brain development? Just go ahead and stick any damned thing in a vaccine, then select a random combination of some of the 70 various vaccines that are now recommended for children, it can’t hurt?
There is no greater example of pseudoscience than saying it is safe to inject toxic items like mercury, aluminum, and formaldehyde into any living being, much less a newborn infant or a child.
The IDEA and PRACTICE of using vaccines is GOOD, preventing disease is GOOD!
But adding HARMFUL INGREDIENTS is BAD!
It is the PRACTICE of the Vaccine Manufacturers, adding all kinds of POISONS, TOXINS, HEAVY METALS, an UNSAFE assortment of ANTIBIOTICS and other UNNECESSARY CRAP such as FOOD COLORING and FLAVOR ENHANCERS.
GOT FOOD ALLERGIES?
Injecting food products like PEANUTS, EGGS, SOY, GELATIN, YEAST, and DAIRY into the vaccines is an ABNORMAL and UNSAFE route of entry and is a prime cause for serious allergies to those all too common foods. Then the Doctors may mix up various vaccines that may not “Play Well” together, such as an ANTIBIOTIC in one, which is NEVER supposed to be used in conjunction with different ANTIBIOTIC in another vaccine that is by Law, only supposed to be administered in a HOSPITAL setting… Some of these ingredients require the Chemical Industry’s ‘Material Safety Data Sheets’ (MSDS) because they are HazMat (Hazardous Materials) chemicals (such as flammable or poisonous material) that would be a danger to life or to the environment if released without precautions, or where external or internal bodily contact is a hazard to health…
All of this is BAD! Very Bad!”
Want to learn MORE of the TRUTH about “What’s in it?” and the Vaccine Mafia?
Think putting Yeast, Milk, Eggs, and PEANUTS in a vaccine can’t hurt?
That is the prime reason so MANY people are DEATHLY ALLERGIC to these substances!
Read more at:
https://www.pineapplefish56.net/Common_Sense-Vaccines.html
Four of the five of us have had serious vaccine reactions, so we stopped vaxxing 25 years ago. My husband lost his job during the mandates over it (he’s in healthcare.) But even the extended family, who have born witness to the four of us suffer these adverse reactions, do not understand. Once someone has been brainwashed to believe something, it’s very difficult to get them to objectively examine hard evidence. Until it happens to them of their own.
That is absolutely correct!
Even when they lie, then later retract the lie, it means nothing!
The lie has been told, the lie has been believed! The damage is done! It is harder for people to understand that they have been lied to, then it is to believe what is the real truth, after first learning the lie.
People who have first been told a lie as being a fact, and of course, they believe the lie.
It is human nature to believe whatever “truth” (whether true or false) that is HEARD FIRST that is always what is to be ‘believed’. The very first time you hear something (opinion/fact/lie) it becomes your “base model”. Everything after that is compared to the original base idea. The tabula rasa (blank slate) is imprinted with the original idea. Nothing will be as innate as the base model.
You can’t un-ring a bell. If a media outlet lies once, you should be leery. If they lie more than once, you should never again believe a damn thing they say, unless, of course, you are a Leftist parrot, incapable of thinking for yourself and need something to regurgitate.
That is why the Left doesn’t care about telling the lies they tell: even if they are refuted and proven wrong, the intellectually lazy will already have believed them and enlisted as willful soldiers of the deception. Then these same deceived people are enlisting into committing violence and mayhem in the name of those same lies!
I read online “The Story of Taps” (the music usually played on a bugle at sundown and military funerals) concerning the purely fictional “Union Army Captain Robert Ellicombe” it was a totally false story, but it was presented as a historical fact, However, at the time, I had no way of knowing that it was pure fiction. Shortly thereafter, I was talking about it and a person corrected me with the true story concerning the very real: Union Gen. Daniel Adams Butterfield, of course I did not believe it and I thought the teller was nuts, (my tabula rasa (blank slate) was imprinted with the original idea) but I researched it and found out he was absolutely correct!
“One who acquires political beliefs early in life and rarely changes any of them is incapable of learning from experience.” – Marilyn von Savant
I agree with much of what you’ve shared, however I find much fault with Locke’s idea.
In our experience, my husband and I have raised three adult children, each of who were fully formed personalities at birth, each distinctly different in ways that have remained true to form into adulthood. Some things may have been triggered by vaccination, (autism for one/epilepsy and ADHD for another,) but I personally believe, ultimately, were ancestrally inherited; what is called a “generational curse” in the Bible. I believe those curses are literally encoded in our genes. Sometimes we sin, (which is an archery term that means “to miss the mark,”) and that error activates one possibility in life. Something like a “Choose Your Own Adventure,” book, but one we wrote for ourselves before our own birth.
Because I believe in free will, I believe that we all agreed to the parameters of our current physical conditions before we became physical. It’s the reason we are here. To figure it out and play a bit part in one another’s lives, to help each other figure it all out, and then to walk one another Home.
We aren’t blank slates. We are rich tapestries of heritage and ancestry. We just bury it all in our shadows because we are too afraid to face God.
Anyway, that’s my opinion. 🙃
I missed those parts in the Bible, where did you say they were?
As I said, “I believe,” and “that’s my opinion.” This is how I understand the doctrine of free will. Alternatively, if we are all victims of our birth, how are we free?
I was trying to have an honest conversation with you. No need to be snarky simply because I hold a different perspective.
I am so sorry for your loss. And I agree, so many people just don't want to know. But I think this will only get worse unless people keep speaking out. I find it works best one-on-one. No one wants to be the one to get cast out of a group.
Mark Twain once said, "It's easier to fool someone than to convince them they've been fooled". This is probably even more true within the autism spectrum. People don't want to know at first, but they'll eventually be swayed when the find enough believable literature. Journaling and authoring are of the most benefit to the person doing the journaling and authoring. Maybe that's why Mark Twain was an author, now that I think of it.
Take care
Unfortunately the two volunteer groups organizations from which I dropped out and pulled funding had fully embraced the trans movement, which is largely why I pulled out. I’m not sure how to get comfortable with 55 people, because my experience is that everyone is easy to talk to...right up until you hit on a controversial subject like trans, COVID vaccines, Trump, Ukraine, etc. Then, if you’re not aligned, the conversation and comfort level disappear quickly.
I'll be the first to admit it's a challenge. One method I have of discerning willing "partners in thinking" is a game I call "win win checkers". If you and that person can get all 24 checkers kinged, there is a much better chance they might want to tackle real-world problems. Here's what it looks like, start to finish... https://winwincheckers.wordpress.com/
Awesome advice! Thanks for being a much needed voice exposing the evil ideologies estranging our loved ones. May we all do the same boldly!
I agree!
A few details...
It takes about 9 minutes to read the whole letter out loud. I did it over 3-minute sessions spread over 3 months. In many districts, there are no visual aids allowed during public comment. The sign you see in the photo is technically not a visual aid, since it's on the desk and 11 x 17 or smaller.
I took myself off social media four years ago, but I joined X last week so that I can start throwing my hat in the ring in small ways. Baby steps. Merely admitting online that our daughter went “no contact” with us feels like parading our scars about in the nude publicly, but I have to get past the shame, the hurt, and the anger somehow. Thank you for encouraging us all to find our voices, and to break out of the shell and make new contacts. I am trying. 🙂
You got this Sue!!! You are so much stronger than you think. We have facts, truth, God on our side!!!
Amen! Thank you for the encouragement!
I know how you feel unfortunately. My daughter went no contact 5 months ago and I am hiding too. My friends all think it’s no big deal she will come back and I just nod my head. I feel like no one understands
I understand. But I can’t nod my head anymore. Two of my closest friends have said this to me in the past week, but the way I feel right now, unless she came back repentant, I honestly don’t know if I could receive her. I hope this changes in the future, but I’ve gone from depressed to grieved to angry, and angry me needs an apology.
I’ve been grieving the loss of my mother for the past four years, so I am keenly aware that this is a stage, one of many that we all cycle through. And it helps so much to talk about it. I’m glad we don’t have to hide here.
Be kind to yourself. When I started admitting it online, there were one of two responses: 1. TRAs saying if you had accepted your (faux sex) child, they wouldn't do that - no wonder they left you or 2. You should have (insert their favorite superior parenting advice). It's not out fault. Be kind to yourself. It's not your fault. It's the fault of the cult that caught our vulnerable kids. Sorry you're part of the estranged parents group.
Thank you, I can’t begin to tell you how grateful I am for this group!! I had joined a support group only to find out after a few months in that in order to continue to participate, I had to “affirm” beliefs that are contrary to my own. 🙁 It’s been so difficult to find support elsewhere. I’ve engaged in the “comments section” on YouTube a few times, and have encountered a number of TRAs. They like to “dog pile” on comments they don’t like. It’s helped me develop a tougher skin, but they can be quite cruel.
X suspended my account. I believe it was the pinned tweet with the drawing of a hangman's scaffold and the words 'Thank you for your 'vaccine'. We've made you a 'play swing'. But who really knows .. they never tell you why. I was always careful, when saying people should hang, to say 'after a fair trial of course'. Perhaps I forgot once.
The hurt and anger are hard to get past, but it's doable. The shame part?.....it depends on the other person. There are friends that I talk to about the estrangement because I know they believe that my daughter (adult) needs to grow out of this to come through it, but there are some others that I lie to and keep this all a secret. It's really hard when close family members think you are a bad parent for not affirming the big lie.
We are all finding our voices in ways we wouldn't have dreamed being necessary when we were all kids. One indispensable tool is Patrick Winston's "How to Speak". https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Unzc731iCUY
Hi presentation is not specific to transgenderism, but it provides good guidance on how to make your subjects credible to as many of your listeners as possible.
I'm sorry you're feeling estrangement from your sons. I understand all to well - our third Christmas for the son in the cult and now three months for the older ally son. It is something that is in the zeitgeist of Gen Z. I blame social media / gaming. Thank you for being on our side and speaking up for those of us who are silent because we hope our sons/daughters will come back. Many of us are doing other things behind the scenes. Peace and Strength to you.
I salute your efforts. If we had raised our sons ten years later, we would have encountered the same risks. That's why I felt moved to speak up publicly.
Refreshing, upbeat, constructive and humble.
Take it from an aggrieved parent: Put tight reigns on all computer use for your sons. Use parental monitoring software, and restrict use at certain time periods. Do not fall for the caution, like I did, that if you don’t let them use the computer at will they will find someplace else to do it. That led to the disaster which I described in my PITT story last July. If they defy you and sneak a computer use elsewhere, that is not on you. You will, at least, be able to honestly say you did all you could, and you left a legacy of loving discipline.
It's almost like the gaming has been a lead-in to extreme ideologies. My wife and I encountered violence when we tried to set limits in that space.
The idea that legalized cannabis is a problem is a bit of an odd take. I would rather police be doing the job of catching actual criminals than trying to bust someone for smoking a joint. People have been given worse prison sentences for marijuana possession than for sexual assault. Further, marijuana has genuine medical benefits. Legalized cannabis is far from a problem. Being able to obtain marijuana for recreational use from a reputable dispensary is no different than being able to go to a liquor store and buy a bottle of your chosen libation.
For those who may be assuming I take issue with this because I'm a frequent flyer on Marijuana Express, I don't use cannabis to get high. I use CBD oil (the part of the plant that doesn't cause a high) for pain issues. When I was a home health nurse, I had a patient who was able to wean off multiple sedating anti-seizure medications through the use of CBD oil, which has anti-spasmodic properties. He went from being asleep most of the time to being alert.
I simply wanted to point this out because I find there are still many people who buy into the old "reefer madness" idea about marijuana. These beliefs are fallacious. Legalization of marijuana is a good thing.
As a mom and retired internist, I would respectfully beg to differ with you on the effects of THC on the adolescent and young adult brain. This new “distilled and concentrated” form of THC is highly potent and addictive and has been linked to schizophrenia, especially in young men. I encourage you to read the very touching and informative work of Laura Stack, who lost her son, Johnny, after he jumped off a building thinking he could fly. He kept a careful journal with increasing paranoia symptoms as his dabbing use of THC increased. After his death Laura found his journal and that launched her on her journey to investigate the “modern marijuana”, write her book and travel the country speaking to young people and parents to raise awareness. I believe many teens are using THC to self-medicate for anxiety, much of which is the result of isolation ( COVID lockdowns, video games) and social media overuse ( vs in-person fellowship)
https://johnnysambassadors.org/
I take your point and largely agree. But there is some good research results that suggest cannabis in teen boys can increase anxiety and suicide thoughts. My grandson has not fallen to the trans ideation but he really really struggles with depression and anxiety and uses pot a lot. I think it may be contributing to his mental struggles.
I agree that CBD has benefits. I really should have phrased it "excess legalized cannabis". Like all good things, there can be diminishing returns. Thanks for this feedback.
I'll add to this: no matter what your ideological persuasion, for God's sake just hold your nose and vote straight ticket Republican. From president on down to dog catcher, you need to punish the left until the dnc renounces sexual and racial identitarianism from its platform
PITT is not supposed to be a venue for political campaigning. You want to vote for a rapist for president? I guess that's your choice but not one I can stand behind.
Please keep partisan politics off of PITT.
It's a partisan issue whether you want it to be or not
and here you are, being political. As a democratic voter, I am appalled by your hyperbolic rhetoric. United we stand, divided we fall.
in case you missed it, trump LOST his case v. Jean Carrol in which the accusation was he raped her in a department store changing room. That is not rhetoric. It refers to events in trump's life in which he "grabbed her by the pussy" to use his own phrase.
PITT is not supposed to be about partisan politics. Polarizing the medicalization of our kids will only hurt more people.
Your CNN talking points are not going to fly! there are so many things wrong with that statement, i dont even know where to begin.
it really doesnt matter how you feel qbout trump - it is about policy.
Were you better off 5 years ago or now?
At the end of the day, are you going to vote for the people that support this destruction of our kids(D) or the people that want to protect our kids (R)?
LOL. You've no idea about my education or where I get my news. Just back off of me. Seriously. This is not a political venue but people keep coming back to this. FWIW: Republican agendas and platforms are egregiously bad. Like: denying that woman in Texas an abortion to save her own future fertility when the baby is going to die in any event. That is simply inhumane and bizarrely punitive. Never never never would I vote for people who think that's ok. And that's just one point. This is not supposed to be a political venue so I'll leave it at that but please: stop the personal attacks and stop the political proselytizing. This is like trying to shut the door on Seventh Day Adventists or something. Just stop.
Lifetime democrat here. I could get behind several of the potential GOP candidates. But after the above and Jan 6, I cannot and will not vote trump. If the GOP wants to get moderate and democratic votes, they need to get trump out and put someone else in. Side note, I have voted Republican in governor, state and local elections based solely on this issue.
Will it hurt as much as voting for the people who are facilitating and promoting this madness? Sometimes “the enemy of my enemy is my friend.” I do not like Trump as a person, in fact I don’t like politics at all. But the reality is, this “movement” went mainstream because our current leadership is promoting it and actively eroding parental rights. I do have hope that Trump will pump the brakes on our descent into insanity.
It’s a broken, two party system, so what’s the alternative? Civil war? Revolution? Or acceptance.
I cannot concede.
I agree that it is ideal if this space remains neutral (politically) for all members, but we also need to be able to discuss HOW to change what is happening to our families and society as a united front, because at the end of the day, we all have the same agenda: to protect our children. I am apolitical, independent, and would not vote for someone merely because of a party affiliation, but I will 💯 vote for anyone willing to stand up for parents and against Big Pharma! Because this madness needs to stop NOW. A vote for Biden, or whoever they replace him with, is clearly a vote for this madness to escalate.
It is a luxury that we as a nation cannot afford to vote for high offices based on one single issue.
All of us parents are hurting. Our hurts are up close and personal.
On the other hand, huge national and international issues are at stake in our upcoming federal government elections.
I personally will vote to protect our Republic and our Constitution. No candidate who thinks violence is a political tactic or storming the Capitol is Ok or even good will earn a vote from me. No candidate facing felony charges will earn my vote. No candidate who foments hatred will earn my vote. No candidate who advocates for sexual assault or who participated or enabled sexual assault will earn my vote.
Meanwhile I will also lobby politicians to Wake-Up and stop supporting the sterilization of children with GD.
Alexesq you need to do more research. CNN is not a credible source. Joe and the hoe are destroying the constitution and every American value. Please wake up and smell the tyranny.
“Peacefully and patriotically let our voices be heard”---1/6/20 DJT
It’s far more than a single issue for me, perhaps for all of us, though it is a pivotal one. I don’t subscribe to the insurrection narrative, seems to me that there is far more evidence of an inside job, more motive, and more to gain. We all have to decide for ourselves what is true and what is media propaganda,
but the mere difference in the quality of life during the previous administration vs. the economic implosion we are currently witnessing, the huge influx of illegals that freely commit violent crimes, the exploding homeless population, the sudden epidemic of fentanyl deaths... whether our taxes should be funding “gender affirmation care” to the tune of $1m or more per patient... Definitely NOT a singular issue. But a crucial one.
We all know our nation has been hijacked. The only question is, "how deep in the rabbit hole are we really?"
The bolshevik revolution was actually an export from the Bronx to Russia. Perhaps we have been the recipient of another country's revolutionaries (doesn't matter from where).
Very deep. The political divide is vast. One would think protecting parental rights, girls' sports and sex segregated spaces, and stopping the sterilization and sexual harm of children and young adults would be non-political. yet here we are.
And fourth, posterity! I wrote a PITT article, Aug. 23, 2022, mostly because I wanted to be a piece of history. It is insane what is happening and I wanted to add my voice. Also to help others. Also to help myself. The order was backwards. I will take your advice on writing for myself (cathartic) and my social circle - it will help ideas come out since I write under a pen name.
"To my coworker who used to be a friend - you were wrong to tell me that a boy's feelings don't matter when he encountered a biological girl in the boy's bathroom".
I will get right on this!
It is true about joining groups as well. I spend so much time listening to my teen daughter that I need a time to share my ideas too, not just about trans.
I dream of the day I can show the uncropped version of the photo, and share where my 9 minutes of advocacy actually happened.
Thank you for your encouragement. My son succumbed to the "trans" cult during freshman year of college. He's 21 and has declined on every metric. It's heartbreaking for myself and my husband. I've written PITT essays, but your essay inspires me as a retired psychologist to consider writing an essay about the horror for a publication for mental health providers -- though who knows if any such publication would have the fortitude to publish the truth, despite the capture of the mental and medical health field, academia, and so many people it boggles my mind. I am beyond disillusioned with the world that allows the "trans" nightmare to destroy lives, shatter families, infiltrate women's spaces, and nullify women's sports.
I think you should unretire yourself as a psychologist. There are so few in your industry that will fight for our kids. I have been to 3 therapist since my daughter left 5 months ago and have been told it is my fault because I won’t affirm her. One guy even reprimanded me like I was a child. So I suffer alone unable to get the help my family and I need.
I feel your pain. In my family of an affirming husbands and 2 daughters thinking being boys is better for them. I am the wicked witch who does not care.
I am an educator. I’ve thought seriously about going back for my psychology masters or a life coach certification for this very reason. We need non affirmative professionals willing to dig into the heavy stuff with these young people. There is something at the root of each individual’s distress and that is what they need help discovering.
We should all be proud of our humanity, our gender, our race, our culture, and our age/walk of life, in that order. We are being baited on all five of those levels. May we all have peace.
what is gender?
I would put that question in the full context of 5:
1) What is humanity?
2) What is gender/sex?
3) What is race?
4) What is culture?
5) What is walk of life?
None of those can be answered without answering the other 4. Speaking for myself, I am an elder Irish Catholic white male who loves his fellow man. And that only begins to describe what God has blessed me with.
STOP!!! This language game is bullshit!!! These young women and men are pumping their bodies full of synthetic wrong sex hormones, cutting off body part--irreversibly destroying their bodies. This activism is taking away their right for a normal life -for what? What happens next? For a life full of medicalization? Who benefits?
So enough of the “gender” or “sex” game. The focus needs to be on HEALTH--physically and mentally!!!!!
When I was growing up many moons ago, gender only referred to pronouns and things. In other languages, many things have gender, but not people. Like so many other things, we have allowed the nut jobs to high jack grammar and common sense. It will be a cold day in hell when I call an individual they. They is plural...period. It defies reason otherwise, and I will not play the game. Too many people are too willing to go along to get along. Grow a spine!
I am being a bit tough on you. I know you have a good heart. But our words matter and sex-based rights matter. I do not have a gender. I, and you, have sexed body. Our male and female differences should be embraced, for better or for worse.
Gender is defined as the male of female version of a species. The words gender and sex have been intertwined as far back as the 1500s. Gender/sex is determined by chromosomes of XX or XY. I assume you are aware of this basic science. Hopefully you didn’t post here just to start an argument. That would just be cruel and apathetic.
my point was not to start an argument. my point was to encourage us not to use the language that got us into this mess in the first place. In my large dictionary, gender is simply the masculine and feminine of language. I agree that sex and gender got intertwined in the sense that people started to use them interchangeably in order to be polite. Not sure that it went back as far as the 1500s. I am using the word sex when referring to men or women for clarity.
My apologies. I agree the language aspect has been a large contributor to this problem.