Girls, Are You Sure?

Is it worth giving up on being a girl?

Girls, if you wish you were a boy, it’s in your own best interest to at least pause and ask yourself some questions before making any major decisions that will permanently affect your body and health.

Your Kinship

·      Do you think you will ever miss the camaraderie of girlfriends and feminine solidarity?

·      Do you think you’ll ever have a group of “guy” friends?

·      Do you think you will miss the connection to the sacred feminine or Goddess energy?

·      Do you think you will ever miss the power of being a woman?

·      Do you think you will miss going to the restroom or locker room together with your girlfriends?

·      Do you think you might miss playing on a women’s sports team?

·      Do you think it would be more difficult to stand up for women’s rights if you presented yourself as a male?

Your Appearance and Voice

·      Do you think you might miss wearing women’s clothing, jewelry, or accessories?

·      Do you think you will ever miss having long hair or a woman’s hairstyle, and would you miss your hair if you started to go bald due to the effects of testosterone?

·      Are you okay looking like, acting like, and being like a middle-aged man? (No offense intended to men.)

·      If you have your breasts removed, are you sure that you will never miss them, even years from now, and are you prepared for possible phantom pain, numbness, generalized pain, and tightness in your chest as a result?

·      Are you sure that removing a healthy body part will make you happy, and is it kind to yourself?

·      Are you sure you will not miss your natural voice?

Your Feelings

·      When you picture yourself in ten, twenty, thirty, or more years, are you sure right now that you will feel the same way about everything in the future?

·      Are you sure you want to lock yourself into how you feel this moment, even knowing that your feelings might change over time?

·      Are you certain you never want to give birth, breastfeed, or be a mom or grandmother?

·      Are you sure that disliking or blaming your breasts for anything is wise?

·      Are you sure your body is the problem or the cause of your distress?

·      Are you sure you are not looking to ease pain or escape from something?

·      Are you sure you will be safer presenting yourself as a trans man?

·      Do you think it might get tiring to try to pass as a man or to be misgendered due to people’s confusion? Might acting as if you are a male become exhausting over time?

·      Are you certain you will be better liked in the long run if you present yourself as if you are a man?

·      Are you sure that removing healthy body parts will make you more authentic?

·      Might you ever miss the original you?

·      If you don’t feel like you fit a typical female stereotype, can you embrace a different way and still remain a woman?

·      How much time have you spent exploring your doubts or asking desisters or detransitioners about their decisions to change their direction and reclaim their womanhood? What have you learned from that exploration?

·      In your research, have you discovered any scientific evidence that you were born in the wrong body?

·      If sex trait-modifying drugs and surgeries were not available anymore, how might you address or solve what distresses you?

Your Health

·      Are you sure you want to be drug-dependent on testosterone for the rest of your life?

·      Are you sure you want to deal with the adverse reactions to that drug in your body, possibly resulting in more drugs to manage the side effects?

·      Are you sure you want to experience early menopause and the adverse effects of menopause while you are young?

·      Are you sure taking drugs will make you more authentic?

·      Is it possible to give informed consent to medical interventions that carry the possibility of sterility and sexual dysfunction? Could you be sacrificing too much for your current wishes and feelings?

·      Have you considered the possibility of accepting your natural body and natural health?

Your Relationships

·      Are you sure the people encouraging you to modify your body are true friends?

·      Have you ever wondered why someone would try to recruit you to be like them instead of accepting the unique personality and look you have now?

·      Are you sure that taking steps to look like and act like a boy is a good decision if it hurts your mom, dad, and family?

·      If something you decide to do makes a loved one cry, could something be amiss in your decision?

·      Do you think you will ever miss your place in your family?

·      If you are attracted to other females, do you think you might miss being a lesbian or might your partner wish you still had breasts?

·      If you are heterosexual and attracted to males, are you sure you want to change your body to look like a trans man?

·      Have you considered the impact on your dating/relationship options for the rest of your life if you change your body and present yourself as a trans man?

·      Are you sure it is worth the risk of sexual dysfunction and the possibility of not being able to achieve sexual orgasm—which often occur with body- and genital-modifying procedures?

Your Bigger Picture Considerations

·      If you want to travel, how might your presentation as the opposite sex be received in other countries?

·      If our country goes to war, are you okay with being drafted to serve?

·      How does leaving behind your natal female existence and declaring yourself as male affect other girls and women in your circles of family, friends, and influence?

·      What legacy will you leave by identifying as male for the future generations of women in your family?

A Japanese proverb says, “If you get on the wrong train, be sure to get off at the first stop. The longer you stay on, the more expensive the return trip will be.” They weren’t talking about trains.

Consider pausing, reassessing, and reclaiming the amazing girl or woman you are naturally, no matter how long you have been on an exploratory journey in another direction. It is possible to desist or transcend trans. Others have done it, and they have paved the way for you to move beyond trans.

Realize that it’s cool to be a girl or young woman. Please consider the Ten Declarations for Girls to Live By.

Girls, women, and moms wait for you with open arms. We want and need you in our folds. You matter, and you belong to a wonderful sisterhood. We miss you.

Yours truly,

The women of the world

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