Good Father
Written by the father of a daughter who was sold a solution to a problem that she doesn’t have.
Well, I guess that it is time for me to come out of the closet. It is time to come out to the world and to celebrate me. I identify as …a Good Father. My pronouns are dad, daddy, and father, but (my condition being what it is) I only allow a select few to use them.
I’ve known for years that I am a Good Father. I had my suspicions, but wasn’t sure until I found myself in the grocery store buying diapers. After that, I seemed to spend all of my free-time caring for and supporting children. It is part of the depth of my condition that I can’t tell you how much of my income just seemed to disappear into my lifestyle. I planned my entire life around my identity. It was so easy to spend money and time on my identity that I almost didn’t seem to notice. For years, all of my vacation time was devoted to it. It was really getting out-of-hand!
Some people around me seemed to know even before I did. I think the first time it came to my attention was when my wife said to me, “You’re going to be a Good Father.” I don’t know how she could have possibly known, but she seemed so sure. However, some others didn’t seem to notice. Ironically, my children often expressed the most opposition to my identity as a Good Father. But, I knew in my heart that it was true, and I was just going to have to live with it. I can only hope that someday they accept me as the Good Father that I know that I am, and was born to be. I’ve got to be me, and true to my authentic self.
This being such a big part of my identity, I was forced to come out to my family a few years back. When my mother caught me changing diapers, I knew that there was no way to hide. Thankfully, both of my parents were supportive of my identity.
Perhaps you know a good father or a good mother who is unsure of their identity? Perhaps they have been oppressed by social constructs that deny their identity. Tell them that it is safe out here, in the open. Support them in their identity. Tell them that you trust their judgement and respect their rights as good parents.
Happy Fathers’ Day!
Good for you! In addition to changing diapers, Good Fathers also refuse to enable dysfunction.
Frankly, I thought I was a barely adequate mother until a few years ago. I loved my kids, volunteered with the PTA, took my kids to every park I could find, supported their hobbies, enjoyed their company, and played with them as much as possible when I wasn't working or cleaning the apt. But there was nothing special about those things. Most of the mothers I knew did those things, and some did them much better than me because they were more successful in their careers, better at arts and crafts, better cooks, better at getting their kids to bed, didn't let their kids watch as much tv as I did, etc. Thus, I was a mediocre mother. Then, my daughter came to me and told me that she was "really a boy." From that day forward, I knew I was a "Good Mother." I knew because I initially went with my gut and immediately assured my daughter that all was well, I was not at all upset with her revelation, and I would just love her no matter what. Then, and here's where the "Good Mother" identity really kicked in, I did my research. I delved into gender ideology and studied and researched and wrote and listened better than I studied for the Bar Exam - and I found out about Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria, and I found out what was really happening in society vis-a-vis gender ideology. And you know what I did? I did not affirm. I told my daughter the truth. Yes, I love her and always will, but, no, she is not "really a boy" because there is no such thing. There are some adults who have chosen to live as if they were the opposite sex, and to sacrifice their health to a lesser or greater extent to live that way. Some of those adults are happy with their choice, and some are not. But nobody is born in the wrong body, and nobody MUST chemically and/or surgically alter their appearance to be their true authentic self, and no child or teenager can make those difficult choices or should be in a position to do so. By sticking to those truths, informing my daughter that I will protect her health for as long as possible, giving her as much time as possible to accept the body she was born with and celebrate her healthy body, I became a truly Good Mother. I believe the parents at PITT are all Good Mothers and Good Fathers looking to protect and love their children. This is our identity and we're sticking to it.