Written by the father of a daughter who was sold a solution to a problem that she doesn’t have.
Well, I guess that it is time for me to come out of the closet. It is time to come out to the world and to celebrate me. I identify as …a Good Father. My pronouns are dad, daddy, and father, but (my condition being what it is) I only allow a select few to use them.
I’ve known for years that I am a Good Father. I had my suspicions, but wasn’t sure until I found myself in the grocery store buying diapers. After that, I seemed to spend all of my free-time caring for and supporting children. It is part of the depth of my condition that I can’t tell you how much of my income just seemed to disappear into my lifestyle. I planned my entire life around my identity. It was so easy to spend money and time on my identity that I almost didn’t seem to notice. For years, all of my vacation time was devoted to it. It was really getting out-of-hand!
Some people around me seemed to know even before I did. I think the first time it came to my attention was when my wife said to me, “You’re going to be a Good Father.” I don’t know how she could have possibly known, but she seemed so sure. However, some others didn’t seem to notice. Ironically, my children often expressed the most opposition to my identity as a Good Father. But, I knew in my heart that it was true, and I was just going to have to live with it. I can only hope that someday they accept me as the Good Father that I know that I am, and was born to be. I’ve got to be me, and true to my authentic self.
This being such a big part of my identity, I was forced to come out to my family a few years back. When my mother caught me changing diapers, I knew that there was no way to hide. Thankfully, both of my parents were supportive of my identity.
Perhaps you know a good father or a good mother who is unsure of their identity? Perhaps they have been oppressed by social constructs that deny their identity. Tell them that it is safe out here, in the open. Support them in their identity. Tell them that you trust their judgement and respect their rights as good parents.
Happy Fathers’ Day!