I am so very sorry. It should be unfathomable that a group of one's own children would launch a literal coup and undermine you as parents in that way, but here we are. Our society is broken, and it yearns to take down every last pillar of familial relations and values, substituting them for glitter values. This ideology doesn't discriminate: it is taking down progressive families and conservative families. Religious families and atheist families. Families of every color and income strata. There is no place left for families to hide. As you said, when will the US population come around to see that we cannot do this anymore, that these procedures are medical malpractice at a minimum, criminal at their worst?
So sorry to read that - it was devastating even to me and I'm not your daughter's father. Your analysis is so correct. If I lived in the US I would lobby for the new administration to enact laws, if they don't already exist to enable poor parents like yourself to absolutely hammer these institutions. But we also need personal accountability... people need to know in future that if they go along with stupid sh*t, with little thought, they will pay the price... especially professionals. There needs to be a strengthening of professionals' rights to challenge and speak against their professional bodies. Good luck!
In regard to suing, you might want to consult the website of the organization Genspect (can Google)
Regarding LGBTQ et al, you may know already or be interested to know that a good number of LGB people are among those who take issue with the other letters that have glommed on to LGB while referring to people with totally different agendas. There is a vast difference between sexual orientation and “gender identity”, and many ways that the trans ideology has been harmful to LGB.
I see this site (I.e., PITT) as one that unites persons from different backgrounds in our focus on addressing the harms that have emerged from trans ideology.
I am so sorry to hear of the pain that you and your family are going through.
I sincerely wish you all and your family the best, as I wish all of us the best in dealing with our own particular situations AND come together for the large picture of finding healthier ways to deal with the array of difficulties relating to “gender”.
I will look into Genspect's info on suing the government. I don't know who paid for our daughter's breast removal or us continuing to pay for her (lifelong?) hormone treatments. If it is Medicare or some other government program, there should be public information of how much money goes toward transgender surgeries and treatments.
If you haven't already, please read parent Lisa Shultz's book called "The Trans Train", available on amazon. My personal email is also below, in case you want more support. I am also boots-on-the-ground on this issue in NYC schools.
I'm so sorry this has happened for you as a parent. It is happening with a distant niece of mine. The grief is beyond words. All i have to offer is that even though our love is unquantifiable....our children, as hard as it is for us, and with what i'm learning...is that they are people, individuals who are making choices, and while swamped with Pride and gender affirming care every turn they make, they will still have to take responsibility for the decisions THEY made and live with that. We can always say...i love you and will always be here for you...and leave it at that. They will need to take responsibility for every decision and action made and that is their journey. We also have our journeys, and the grief is part of that. Maybe they have to do this to become the sort of people in the future who are able to rid us all of this nonsense once they've done their own work and grief.
I have four adult children, ranging from ages 50 - 43 (boy-girl-boy-girl). The younger two, ages 45 and 43, think they are the opposite sex. The youngest has not spoken to me since July 2017. We send gifts to her and our granddaughter and they are not acknowledged. Not returned either but I have no idea if the gifts are retained. Our younger son (my bio son, my husband’s step son) has some contact but both adult children live a long ways away now that we moved from WA to TX last year. The older of the two only lived in that state from Fall 2023 when he separated from the Army after 23 years. At least we got to spend time with him and his spouse, another father of two children, ho dresses up as female, before we moved. Our youngest lives in NW Oregon. We haven’t seen her daughter since she was age 8, and that was due to my older daughter arranging it. She is now 13.5 years. The two oldest live in other states and are busy with their lives. The oldest supports his siblings and is working on a doctorate in psychology, focused on this population so he is not going to take our part. The older daughter lives on the East Coast with her family and is very busy with her military career. She prefers to stay above the fray but I know she talks to her younger sibs. It is like I have no children and only two grandchildren (my older daughter’s children) out of the six we actually have. None are “Christian” so they don’t acknowledge Christmas or Easter but none acknowledge Mother’s or Father’s Day either. I have no idea what they do for their father, who lives in So. OR. I so relate to your situation. It is like the family you intended to have doesn’t exist any more. It is a terrible lie that has been perpetrated on so many children, adults, and families. I know it was intentional to destroy families, depopulate the planet, and usher in whatever dark days the powers behind all this have in mind. The only thing I can think to do is pray.
During the many years that my brother was in the Satanic panic, my grandfather continued to send him birthday and Christmas checks, just as he did with the rest of us. My cousin told me our grandmother made him do it. My brother always cashed the checks and never once said thank-you.
After our grandmother died, my grandfather stopped. I was my brother's only support in our family at that time, and I heartily agreed with our grandfather: if my brother was going to cut off contact with our grandfather, he could darn well cut off contact with his money too.
This is unbelievable, it’s so cruel. There’s so much cruelty towards us & yet they function as normal in society amongst others. I really don’t know how they do it…
I'm sympathetic with your situation, MeriBear. But it always astounds me that people in middle age can succumb to the madness. I almost expect it of teenagers these days, given that those years are a time of great insecurity and rebellion against the parents. It would be hard enough to deal with them, but how do you even begin to deal with adult children?
Especially when an adult child cuts off contact. She doesn’t return gifts (although I have no idea if she keeps them). I guess I will find out when my granddaughter gets old enough to talk freely on social media (she will be 14 in September - I have 4 more years). My other misguided adult child has had contact but we moved from WA less than a year after he separated from the Army after 23 years and moved two hours away from us in WA. It was funny when he visited. At the door he used his fake female voice to say hello. By the time he got into the living room, he was talking in his normal voice. If we closed our eyes, we could imagine Rob standing in front of us, instead of a balding, 6’4” man with D boobs in a stretchy camisole top and ill fitting skirt.
Gay children need to be told they exist and are accepted. Otherwise they will choose to become bisexual or transgender. I was not told that gay people exist as a child, luckily I loved myself enough to come out of the closet in my early 20's.
Please see our efforts to educate the world about gay psychology and the causes of bisexualism and transgenderism.
I completely embraced my daughter when she told me she was gay at age12, after we viewed Dear Evan Hansen. She later went through transition despite this acceptance.
Accepting your child's sexual orientation is, of course, not bullet-proof armor against them being exposed to cults. I wish it were.
Just ask the lesbians who have been at the forefront of this fight against transgenderism since long before any of the rest of us even knew it was going on.
Wow, thanks for your feedback. As we know love needs to start with us, and we need to teach children to love and accept themselves. This is what is lacking in our society.
Sometimes I wonder if we are doing the right thing being so understanding and try to placate their feelings and perceptions. Maybe that comes up like fake when they know what do we think about their confusion, and all because we are afraid of losing them and still we lose them. So maybe we should be the opposite, we should be confrontational and tell them that they are crazy and that the world is lying to them and that they will pay for it and never be happy it doesn't matter if they don't talk to you anymore, they will not be happy because it is a lie to believe that you really can change your biological reality and if they want to live in that delusion we should let them go not before tell them that you will love them anyway and that when they decide that they want to recant you will be there for them, but no, you will not be part of that fantasy. Might that approach work for some, I do not know. I feel when I was reading your essay like we cannot win, whatever we do, we lose because they leave us thinking we are the enemy that we are not the ones who let them live their fantasies and WE are the bigots. No, we are not, we are the ones who are holding up all the things together and redemption will come some day.
I agreed with you that we must demand this presidency to set laws and limitations to what a doctor can do or not do in children and youth, maybe 25 years old. We have a window of opportunity with Trump, maybe we will not have it anymore if the next president is a liberal.
I don’t know if a tough love approach would work-I think it depends on the child and a host of other factors
I do think parents should work harder to accept children who are gay and/or gender non conforming in their dress and behaviour
Re trans. I wonder if giving them scientific proof of the harms of puberty blockers and wrong sex hormones would help some kids eg osteoporosis by the age of 20 which can lead to disabilities. Heart disease and strokes,chronic kidney disease etc.
I think giving them information on real detrans people they could ask questions of might be helpful too eg there are plenty of detrans on Twitter X and Reddit. This might be more helpful for them since detrans ppl have gone through so much trauma and most are willing to give advice.
Detrans know people who are questioning won’t get objective information from ‘transgenders’.
The children and adults who get caught up in this ideology are in a cult. Going along with it doesn’t get them out. Being very vocal against it or telling them the medical risks doesn’t get them out. They have to see the truth for themselves and then be strong enough to say they were wrong in order to come out of the cult. The love bombing they received going into the cult does not happen when they come out. We have to be those love bombs for all the survivors.
Right in the feels. I'm so sorry.
I am so very sorry that your family is going through this too. There are too many of us. Too many tears.
My heart goes out to you, I’m so sorry.
And yes, would that we could find a way to see justice done towards the perpetrators of this devastating ideology.
I am so very sorry. It should be unfathomable that a group of one's own children would launch a literal coup and undermine you as parents in that way, but here we are. Our society is broken, and it yearns to take down every last pillar of familial relations and values, substituting them for glitter values. This ideology doesn't discriminate: it is taking down progressive families and conservative families. Religious families and atheist families. Families of every color and income strata. There is no place left for families to hide. As you said, when will the US population come around to see that we cannot do this anymore, that these procedures are medical malpractice at a minimum, criminal at their worst?
So sorry to read that - it was devastating even to me and I'm not your daughter's father. Your analysis is so correct. If I lived in the US I would lobby for the new administration to enact laws, if they don't already exist to enable poor parents like yourself to absolutely hammer these institutions. But we also need personal accountability... people need to know in future that if they go along with stupid sh*t, with little thought, they will pay the price... especially professionals. There needs to be a strengthening of professionals' rights to challenge and speak against their professional bodies. Good luck!
I'm so terribly sorry
But it's not over
Brutal. Brutality. Abuse. Manipulation and lies. Do it. Sue the pants off of the whole system. Break it to shreds.
https://open.substack.com/pub/maiapoet/p/trans-when-coping-mechanism-becomes?r=1gcde6&utm_medium=ios
This essay I have written seems like a good complement to this well-written essay published by PITT.
In regard to suing, you might want to consult the website of the organization Genspect (can Google)
Regarding LGBTQ et al, you may know already or be interested to know that a good number of LGB people are among those who take issue with the other letters that have glommed on to LGB while referring to people with totally different agendas. There is a vast difference between sexual orientation and “gender identity”, and many ways that the trans ideology has been harmful to LGB.
I see this site (I.e., PITT) as one that unites persons from different backgrounds in our focus on addressing the harms that have emerged from trans ideology.
I am so sorry to hear of the pain that you and your family are going through.
I sincerely wish you all and your family the best, as I wish all of us the best in dealing with our own particular situations AND come together for the large picture of finding healthier ways to deal with the array of difficulties relating to “gender”.
I will look into Genspect's info on suing the government. I don't know who paid for our daughter's breast removal or us continuing to pay for her (lifelong?) hormone treatments. If it is Medicare or some other government program, there should be public information of how much money goes toward transgender surgeries and treatments.
This broke my heart.
Heartbroken and determined,
You are also NOT alone.
If you haven't already, please read parent Lisa Shultz's book called "The Trans Train", available on amazon. My personal email is also below, in case you want more support. I am also boots-on-the-ground on this issue in NYC schools.
EMAIL: JoannaVitalHealth@protonmail.com
I'm so sorry this has happened for you as a parent. It is happening with a distant niece of mine. The grief is beyond words. All i have to offer is that even though our love is unquantifiable....our children, as hard as it is for us, and with what i'm learning...is that they are people, individuals who are making choices, and while swamped with Pride and gender affirming care every turn they make, they will still have to take responsibility for the decisions THEY made and live with that. We can always say...i love you and will always be here for you...and leave it at that. They will need to take responsibility for every decision and action made and that is their journey. We also have our journeys, and the grief is part of that. Maybe they have to do this to become the sort of people in the future who are able to rid us all of this nonsense once they've done their own work and grief.
I have four adult children, ranging from ages 50 - 43 (boy-girl-boy-girl). The younger two, ages 45 and 43, think they are the opposite sex. The youngest has not spoken to me since July 2017. We send gifts to her and our granddaughter and they are not acknowledged. Not returned either but I have no idea if the gifts are retained. Our younger son (my bio son, my husband’s step son) has some contact but both adult children live a long ways away now that we moved from WA to TX last year. The older of the two only lived in that state from Fall 2023 when he separated from the Army after 23 years. At least we got to spend time with him and his spouse, another father of two children, ho dresses up as female, before we moved. Our youngest lives in NW Oregon. We haven’t seen her daughter since she was age 8, and that was due to my older daughter arranging it. She is now 13.5 years. The two oldest live in other states and are busy with their lives. The oldest supports his siblings and is working on a doctorate in psychology, focused on this population so he is not going to take our part. The older daughter lives on the East Coast with her family and is very busy with her military career. She prefers to stay above the fray but I know she talks to her younger sibs. It is like I have no children and only two grandchildren (my older daughter’s children) out of the six we actually have. None are “Christian” so they don’t acknowledge Christmas or Easter but none acknowledge Mother’s or Father’s Day either. I have no idea what they do for their father, who lives in So. OR. I so relate to your situation. It is like the family you intended to have doesn’t exist any more. It is a terrible lie that has been perpetrated on so many children, adults, and families. I know it was intentional to destroy families, depopulate the planet, and usher in whatever dark days the powers behind all this have in mind. The only thing I can think to do is pray.
During the many years that my brother was in the Satanic panic, my grandfather continued to send him birthday and Christmas checks, just as he did with the rest of us. My cousin told me our grandmother made him do it. My brother always cashed the checks and never once said thank-you.
After our grandmother died, my grandfather stopped. I was my brother's only support in our family at that time, and I heartily agreed with our grandfather: if my brother was going to cut off contact with our grandfather, he could darn well cut off contact with his money too.
This is unbelievable, it’s so cruel. There’s so much cruelty towards us & yet they function as normal in society amongst others. I really don’t know how they do it…
I'm sympathetic with your situation, MeriBear. But it always astounds me that people in middle age can succumb to the madness. I almost expect it of teenagers these days, given that those years are a time of great insecurity and rebellion against the parents. It would be hard enough to deal with them, but how do you even begin to deal with adult children?
Especially when an adult child cuts off contact. She doesn’t return gifts (although I have no idea if she keeps them). I guess I will find out when my granddaughter gets old enough to talk freely on social media (she will be 14 in September - I have 4 more years). My other misguided adult child has had contact but we moved from WA less than a year after he separated from the Army after 23 years and moved two hours away from us in WA. It was funny when he visited. At the door he used his fake female voice to say hello. By the time he got into the living room, he was talking in his normal voice. If we closed our eyes, we could imagine Rob standing in front of us, instead of a balding, 6’4” man with D boobs in a stretchy camisole top and ill fitting skirt.
Agreed!! We have to make this financially painful in order for it to stop 🛑
Gay children need to be told they exist and are accepted. Otherwise they will choose to become bisexual or transgender. I was not told that gay people exist as a child, luckily I loved myself enough to come out of the closet in my early 20's.
Please see our efforts to educate the world about gay psychology and the causes of bisexualism and transgenderism.
Feel free to contact us at enlightenedgayssdc@gmail.com
https://enlightenedgays.org
Hello Shira,
I completely embraced my daughter when she told me she was gay at age12, after we viewed Dear Evan Hansen. She later went through transition despite this acceptance.
Accepting your child's sexual orientation is, of course, not bullet-proof armor against them being exposed to cults. I wish it were.
Just ask the lesbians who have been at the forefront of this fight against transgenderism since long before any of the rest of us even knew it was going on.
https://lgbausa.org/
Wow, thanks for your feedback. As we know love needs to start with us, and we need to teach children to love and accept themselves. This is what is lacking in our society.
Sometimes I wonder if we are doing the right thing being so understanding and try to placate their feelings and perceptions. Maybe that comes up like fake when they know what do we think about their confusion, and all because we are afraid of losing them and still we lose them. So maybe we should be the opposite, we should be confrontational and tell them that they are crazy and that the world is lying to them and that they will pay for it and never be happy it doesn't matter if they don't talk to you anymore, they will not be happy because it is a lie to believe that you really can change your biological reality and if they want to live in that delusion we should let them go not before tell them that you will love them anyway and that when they decide that they want to recant you will be there for them, but no, you will not be part of that fantasy. Might that approach work for some, I do not know. I feel when I was reading your essay like we cannot win, whatever we do, we lose because they leave us thinking we are the enemy that we are not the ones who let them live their fantasies and WE are the bigots. No, we are not, we are the ones who are holding up all the things together and redemption will come some day.
I agreed with you that we must demand this presidency to set laws and limitations to what a doctor can do or not do in children and youth, maybe 25 years old. We have a window of opportunity with Trump, maybe we will not have it anymore if the next president is a liberal.
I don’t know if a tough love approach would work-I think it depends on the child and a host of other factors
I do think parents should work harder to accept children who are gay and/or gender non conforming in their dress and behaviour
Re trans. I wonder if giving them scientific proof of the harms of puberty blockers and wrong sex hormones would help some kids eg osteoporosis by the age of 20 which can lead to disabilities. Heart disease and strokes,chronic kidney disease etc.
I think giving them information on real detrans people they could ask questions of might be helpful too eg there are plenty of detrans on Twitter X and Reddit. This might be more helpful for them since detrans ppl have gone through so much trauma and most are willing to give advice.
Detrans know people who are questioning won’t get objective information from ‘transgenders’.
Something to ponder,perhaps.
The children and adults who get caught up in this ideology are in a cult. Going along with it doesn’t get them out. Being very vocal against it or telling them the medical risks doesn’t get them out. They have to see the truth for themselves and then be strong enough to say they were wrong in order to come out of the cult. The love bombing they received going into the cult does not happen when they come out. We have to be those love bombs for all the survivors.
Sexual orientation is not a cult.
Gender ideology is. And it's a homophobic cult at that.
Gay kids are at far greater risk of being groomed by the transgenderism lobby because it's marketed to them as a "cure" for their homosexuality.
Without needing a "cure" for their homosexuality, they wouldn't be *nearly* as vulnerable.