Praying for your family and your prodigal. I hope you see restoration in your family during your lifetime. Your story is heartbreaking and all too common. I am also disappointed to see how far the VA has fallen. Veterans deserve better than pandering.
A very good idea, to salute those who hold tight to sanity and support us, listen to us, stand by us. The frightening thing, though, is that there are so FEW of them!
I’m concerned that if your trans-identified son ever wants to fix your relationship, the fact that you published pictures of him online, along with what I assume are your family’s real first names and your younger son’s real place of birth, is going to be an additional conflict between the two of you. No one would find this site by Googling his name. However, if someone who already knew him and/or the family ended up here, I think it would be easy for them to figure out who you were talking about.
I assume you wouldn’t like it if he published similar things about you on a site opposing your ideology. *Can* you put it online? Yeah, but I don’t think it adds or detracts from your piece, and it has the potential to escalate the problems between you if he ever finds this.
It is true our children can be excessively sensitive to criticism. I noticed my own daughter having what looked like a panic attack when I tried to talk to her about my views. Having panic attacks was her normal reaction to a lot of things. She relies on medication to stop them. Sadly, the ability to accept opposing views is absent. So no matter what I do or say she is going to be upset. That is why she went mute at school. Autistic girls do that as a coping mechanism. She is doing that to me at the moment. I understand why, but it still hurts.
We have to be strong, not let our deluded children bully us. They are having tantrums if they do not get full control over other people. They are expecting us to conform. The need to have control over parents perhaps gives them some comfort as they feel overwhelmed by a world they have no control over.
I am searching for a way to reach out to my children without denying my own integrity. This is terribly difficult for me as I have no family support. My husband many years ago showed no hesitation affirming our daughter’s delusion. I lost any respect I might have had for him. Respecting liars is impossible for me. Transgenderism ruins families.
I have nothing more to lose. I cling to my integrity, not caring what anyone thinks of me.
I had thought long and hard about the concerns you raise.
I decided that my # 1 mission is to warn other parents of what can happen to their child. To do this, I have to provide authentic detail of the signs of this disaster and its effects on all the family members. This requires vivid narration which readers can relate to. Here is why I am willing to take the risk that my son and his sister could recognize themselves in these stories:
1. Ricky will come back to where he should be, but the chances are slim that it will be during our lifetimes. We are both in our mid 60s. Ricky became committed to the cult’s overtures at age 15, and has not shown any significant signs of listening to any good sense. He is very deep in it, and it will take a lot of time to bring him back. We have to pick a strategy that provides a greater good, even if it is at the expense of privacy, something that Ricky and his sister have denied us in this situation.
2. Ricky and his sister have been open in social media in their hostility towards us. I don’t think they will be heard to complain over our expressing our feelings in a similar, more discrete fashion.
3. I need to heal. My wife and two remaining children need to heal. Writing these pieces helps in the healing process.
4. If Ricky recognizes himself in the stories, so be it. The dosage of truth will do him good. It might plant a seed of self-awareness in him so he will see and appreciate who really has true charity for him. Even if he is on his lonely deathbed when it happens.
So heartbreaking to hear your pain on behalf of your family beneath the strength and dignity of your eloquent words. I am not religious but I admire your faith and courage in this fight for all that is good, family most of all. Thank you. I will pray in my way for the return to sanity and safety of your son.
I wish that the trans contingent wouldn't piggyback on people who are LGB. One has to do with who someone is sexually attracted to and the other worships gender as more important than sex.
Wow - so powerful. The ending made me cry. You are an incredible man, father and husband. I am sad for your pain, for all of our pain. This cult is beyond evil and as it continues to devour the innocent lives of the children we love; I have to keep looking up to the Heavens and asking God why? May God have pity on us and help us as we cannot possibly fight this evil alone. We must stay strong as we know the truth and we will not be tricked or bribed. God does not make mistakes! The mockery is sickening. People are playing "god" and there will be a price to pay. One day we will all stand before our Maker (even if you do not believe there is one) and that will be the day of reckoning. It gives me great comfort to know that these doctors, surgeons, therapists, teachers, coaches, and all groomers will not get away with this atrocity. You are not alone as the struggle is real, the fear is real, the anxiety is real as we wait for news from our estranged loved ones. Never give up hope and keep the porch light on...
Having an older son who is on hormones & a younger one that is my rock, I made it all the way through holding back the tears. You got me with the last line though. May we all have that prodigal child come home soon. Thank you for sharing
The impact of this cult on siblings is one that we should probably explore further as a group. I know we have touched on it many times but I feel like deeper dives are needed. This story is a perfect example. My older son (now 20) has been damaged beyond words. He is embarrassed, confused, tired of how much oxygen her issues take up in the family - to the point that he tries to minimize how much time he spends with us as a group. I can't say that I blame him - he's in survival mode.
I'm holding you in my thoughts. This cult leaves so many victims in its wake.
I don't know what to make of Genesis 19, verse 9, but verse 8 is quite interesting: it seems some people want to attack two men who are guests in Lot's house, so Lot offers them his own two virgin daughters instead, to do what they want with them.
This is the "righteous" man apparently, who gets to escape the fate of Sodom and Gomorrah.
It was ALL of the men of Sodom who came to his door to rape the visitors inside. In verse 9 they said, in modern parlance, that Lot was being judgmental against them so they will assault him worse than the visitors. This proves the point that acceptance of their vital practice is more important to them than committing the acts.
Yes, verse 8 seems problematic. The commentators point out that Lot had no intention of giving his daughters up to the attackers, because first he knew that all the men of Sodom had given up natural sexual practices, and second,he was buying time so that the two angels visiting him could escape.
To be honest, it did occur to me that the offer of his daughters was just a ploy to keep the attackers at bay; I'm afraid I was being judgemental there, and indulging my cynicism.
I enjoy a theological debate, but this is not the place for it, and I apologise to PITT parents whose faith is a main support to them in this awful situation.
I used to have a son who cared about a relationship with me, but now he has decided I am an enemy for not supporting his sister's delusion of becoming a man. They are both gone. For those who have other children, you are very fortunate. Thank you for the beautifully written post.
I also have a son who cares more about his sister’s delusion than having any relationship with me. Maybe he will acknowledge my existence if he is ever in trouble. He and his sister are both prodigal. The eldest is joining them in “going no contact” All being on the autistic spectrum I suspect (two diagnosed) they see non communication as their preferred way to cope with life’s dilemmas. So none of my children respond to messages.
I wish society would understand I am not a refrigerator mother to be blamed for not supporting the taking of testosterone as supposed medication for the fad diagnosis of “gender dysphoria”. Why did the school not support my daughter? They refused to recognise her “ Aspergers” until she was suicidal. Too late. By that time she was captured by the cult.
That is so horribly painful. My heart breaks for you and I’m so sorry. It’s one thing to have a child die, it’s a whole other level of misery to have a child decide you are dead to them. 💔💔💔💔
Beautifully heartbreaking and hopeful. I have three nephews in my family who are trans identified. All began medicalization in their late 20s. All are vulnerable adults. All are lost and adamant about keeping anyone out who threatens them with the reality of their birth sex. I’ll be praying for your son along with my nephews. Thank you.
Some of my favorite photos are those of siblings holding their newborn brother or sister not long after birth when their wonder and awe are priceless. There are no words for the way the world has driven them so far from their truth. Prayers for you and your bookends. And to the military in the clutches of the beast.
I haven’t cried this much since I wrote my own story. I sent it to my daughter who is like your beautiful son. I warned her not to read it until she has time to cry.
Praying for your family and your prodigal. I hope you see restoration in your family during your lifetime. Your story is heartbreaking and all too common. I am also disappointed to see how far the VA has fallen. Veterans deserve better than pandering.
This ideology is tearing up the fabric of society. Sorry you have lost a child to this hideous cult.
A very good idea, to salute those who hold tight to sanity and support us, listen to us, stand by us. The frightening thing, though, is that there are so FEW of them!
I’m concerned that if your trans-identified son ever wants to fix your relationship, the fact that you published pictures of him online, along with what I assume are your family’s real first names and your younger son’s real place of birth, is going to be an additional conflict between the two of you. No one would find this site by Googling his name. However, if someone who already knew him and/or the family ended up here, I think it would be easy for them to figure out who you were talking about.
I assume you wouldn’t like it if he published similar things about you on a site opposing your ideology. *Can* you put it online? Yeah, but I don’t think it adds or detracts from your piece, and it has the potential to escalate the problems between you if he ever finds this.
Are your other kids aware this is online?
It is true our children can be excessively sensitive to criticism. I noticed my own daughter having what looked like a panic attack when I tried to talk to her about my views. Having panic attacks was her normal reaction to a lot of things. She relies on medication to stop them. Sadly, the ability to accept opposing views is absent. So no matter what I do or say she is going to be upset. That is why she went mute at school. Autistic girls do that as a coping mechanism. She is doing that to me at the moment. I understand why, but it still hurts.
We have to be strong, not let our deluded children bully us. They are having tantrums if they do not get full control over other people. They are expecting us to conform. The need to have control over parents perhaps gives them some comfort as they feel overwhelmed by a world they have no control over.
I am searching for a way to reach out to my children without denying my own integrity. This is terribly difficult for me as I have no family support. My husband many years ago showed no hesitation affirming our daughter’s delusion. I lost any respect I might have had for him. Respecting liars is impossible for me. Transgenderism ruins families.
I have nothing more to lose. I cling to my integrity, not caring what anyone thinks of me.
I had thought long and hard about the concerns you raise.
I decided that my # 1 mission is to warn other parents of what can happen to their child. To do this, I have to provide authentic detail of the signs of this disaster and its effects on all the family members. This requires vivid narration which readers can relate to. Here is why I am willing to take the risk that my son and his sister could recognize themselves in these stories:
1. Ricky will come back to where he should be, but the chances are slim that it will be during our lifetimes. We are both in our mid 60s. Ricky became committed to the cult’s overtures at age 15, and has not shown any significant signs of listening to any good sense. He is very deep in it, and it will take a lot of time to bring him back. We have to pick a strategy that provides a greater good, even if it is at the expense of privacy, something that Ricky and his sister have denied us in this situation.
2. Ricky and his sister have been open in social media in their hostility towards us. I don’t think they will be heard to complain over our expressing our feelings in a similar, more discrete fashion.
3. I need to heal. My wife and two remaining children need to heal. Writing these pieces helps in the healing process.
4. If Ricky recognizes himself in the stories, so be it. The dosage of truth will do him good. It might plant a seed of self-awareness in him so he will see and appreciate who really has true charity for him. Even if he is on his lonely deathbed when it happens.
So heartbreaking to hear your pain on behalf of your family beneath the strength and dignity of your eloquent words. I am not religious but I admire your faith and courage in this fight for all that is good, family most of all. Thank you. I will pray in my way for the return to sanity and safety of your son.
I wish that the trans contingent wouldn't piggyback on people who are LGB. One has to do with who someone is sexually attracted to and the other worships gender as more important than sex.
Then the LGB contingent should stand up and denounce trans ideology, stating they don't support it and don't want to be linked with it.
They're not going to do that. Instead they just keep on adding stripes and weird symbols to their flag.
Wow - so powerful. The ending made me cry. You are an incredible man, father and husband. I am sad for your pain, for all of our pain. This cult is beyond evil and as it continues to devour the innocent lives of the children we love; I have to keep looking up to the Heavens and asking God why? May God have pity on us and help us as we cannot possibly fight this evil alone. We must stay strong as we know the truth and we will not be tricked or bribed. God does not make mistakes! The mockery is sickening. People are playing "god" and there will be a price to pay. One day we will all stand before our Maker (even if you do not believe there is one) and that will be the day of reckoning. It gives me great comfort to know that these doctors, surgeons, therapists, teachers, coaches, and all groomers will not get away with this atrocity. You are not alone as the struggle is real, the fear is real, the anxiety is real as we wait for news from our estranged loved ones. Never give up hope and keep the porch light on...
Having an older son who is on hormones & a younger one that is my rock, I made it all the way through holding back the tears. You got me with the last line though. May we all have that prodigal child come home soon. Thank you for sharing
The impact of this cult on siblings is one that we should probably explore further as a group. I know we have touched on it many times but I feel like deeper dives are needed. This story is a perfect example. My older son (now 20) has been damaged beyond words. He is embarrassed, confused, tired of how much oxygen her issues take up in the family - to the point that he tries to minimize how much time he spends with us as a group. I can't say that I blame him - he's in survival mode.
I'm holding you in my thoughts. This cult leaves so many victims in its wake.
I don't know what to make of Genesis 19, verse 9, but verse 8 is quite interesting: it seems some people want to attack two men who are guests in Lot's house, so Lot offers them his own two virgin daughters instead, to do what they want with them.
This is the "righteous" man apparently, who gets to escape the fate of Sodom and Gomorrah.
It was ALL of the men of Sodom who came to his door to rape the visitors inside. In verse 9 they said, in modern parlance, that Lot was being judgmental against them so they will assault him worse than the visitors. This proves the point that acceptance of their vital practice is more important to them than committing the acts.
Yes, verse 8 seems problematic. The commentators point out that Lot had no intention of giving his daughters up to the attackers, because first he knew that all the men of Sodom had given up natural sexual practices, and second,he was buying time so that the two angels visiting him could escape.
Thank you for clearing that up as I've always wondered about that.
To be honest, it did occur to me that the offer of his daughters was just a ploy to keep the attackers at bay; I'm afraid I was being judgemental there, and indulging my cynicism.
I enjoy a theological debate, but this is not the place for it, and I apologise to PITT parents whose faith is a main support to them in this awful situation.
No apology needed, you brought up a fair point.
Thank you. Beautiful and well said.
You write so beautifully and movingly. God bless you, the prayer list grows.
I used to have a son who cared about a relationship with me, but now he has decided I am an enemy for not supporting his sister's delusion of becoming a man. They are both gone. For those who have other children, you are very fortunate. Thank you for the beautifully written post.
one day... until then, take care of you, keep moving forward one day at a time. keep going dear. you matter too.
I also have a son who cares more about his sister’s delusion than having any relationship with me. Maybe he will acknowledge my existence if he is ever in trouble. He and his sister are both prodigal. The eldest is joining them in “going no contact” All being on the autistic spectrum I suspect (two diagnosed) they see non communication as their preferred way to cope with life’s dilemmas. So none of my children respond to messages.
I wish society would understand I am not a refrigerator mother to be blamed for not supporting the taking of testosterone as supposed medication for the fad diagnosis of “gender dysphoria”. Why did the school not support my daughter? They refused to recognise her “ Aspergers” until she was suicidal. Too late. By that time she was captured by the cult.
I'm so sorry.
That is so horribly painful. My heart breaks for you and I’m so sorry. It’s one thing to have a child die, it’s a whole other level of misery to have a child decide you are dead to them. 💔💔💔💔
❤️
Beautifully heartbreaking and hopeful. I have three nephews in my family who are trans identified. All began medicalization in their late 20s. All are vulnerable adults. All are lost and adamant about keeping anyone out who threatens them with the reality of their birth sex. I’ll be praying for your son along with my nephews. Thank you.
Wow! 3 nephews. No social contagion there, right? I'm so sorry to hear this. Keep to the Truth.
Some of my favorite photos are those of siblings holding their newborn brother or sister not long after birth when their wonder and awe are priceless. There are no words for the way the world has driven them so far from their truth. Prayers for you and your bookends. And to the military in the clutches of the beast.
I haven’t cried this much since I wrote my own story. I sent it to my daughter who is like your beautiful son. I warned her not to read it until she has time to cry.