On February 24, 2024, my life changed forever. In the space of a few seconds and a few spoken words, my world crumbled and my heart shattered into a million pieces. To say I was stunned by the announcement our son made is truly an understatement.
I feel like I could have written this because those are all of my feelings as well 😔 But you said it so beautifully and I could not. My faith is in God too and that is the only reason I can some days smile! Let’s hold on to hope and miracles for our flowers to come 🌺🌷🌸🌻
Transitioning is far more complex & challenging than generally presented, encourage your son to educate himself, Graham Linehan & Andrew Gold to name 2 discuss detransitioners & young people who don't survive their surgeries, your son may not wish to commit to permanent changes to his life & body (many come to regret in their 20's that they cannot parent). It's possible to live your life as you chose without closing doors permanently behind you.
Hold on tight to God. He knows you and He loves you. Our hope will keep our hearts open to embrace our children on the day they return. “ and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” Romans 5:5
This is an eerily similar story to mine. My son has been on hrt for nearly a year. Yet, he has had a girlfriend for almost as long. My son used to believe in God but claims he no longer does. I just keep declaring that he is just writing his testimony and one day will be winning souls for the Kingdom of God. I have never been so scared, horrified and distraught and at the same time I have never felt closer to God. I pray that this nightmare ends soon for all of our families.
I had your exact same reaction and experience with my son, although he did not tell me he was transitioning. My husband and I were dumbfounded when we started to notice that he was wearing women's apparel, painting his nails, and had lipstick in his bathroom drawer. I did not understand what was going on and I first understood what had happened when I finally read the same book by Dr. Miriam Grossman after seeing her in an interview via The Epoch Times. I also totally freaked out with tears, frustration, disbelief, and anger. I felt totally crushed and lost. Just as you felt, it seemed like a nightmare and I wished that I could just wake up and everything would be like it had been when he was growing up as my son. I also thought of the Jim Jones' Peoples Temple cult in the 1970s through which numerous adults and children committed mass suicide at his calling in the Jonestown Massacre when I was just a teenager. I read or heard today's transgender cult as being seen as 'a mass psychosis affecting the western world' and that is how I see it. Someone else referred to it as a psychological 'virus' and that is how I see it, too. I believe that years in the future, once the world sees through the transgender lies, the transgender cult will be viewed by historians and future generations as a psychological phenomenon of mass psychosis, similar to the psychoses of the Salem Witch Hunt and the Jonestown cult. It's very sad and so unreal.
“If you come to me but will not leave your family, you cannot be my follower. You must love me more than your father, mother, wife, children, brothers, and sisters—even more than your own life!" Luke 14:26. This verse requires complete trust in the Lord. He asks us to trust in Him and Him alone. He saw what is happening now and is in control.
If one of my grandchildren ever chooses to trans I would not be able to handle it or accept it. God would be my refuge. You wrote beautifully and God will be able to intervene in some way at some time. You are so loved by him and your son's love will stay with you.
We walk in very similar shoes. I wish I didn’t belong to this ever grown family, but this is the valley my family is in too. Trusting God in this valley has been my hardest season yet but we will not let the enemy win. We will stay on our knees, the game is not finished and the score is not in. Thank you for sharing
What you say about waking from a nightmare each morning, but then rediscovering again that it is your new reality, resonates with me deeply. I wish I could say it gets easier. I wish I had taken better care of myself from the beginning. Your child is important indeed, but your health and wellness are also important.
Your son is autogynephilic. Heterosexual male, with a sexual obsession to be female. This is the only type of gender dysphoria that gets worse, more intense, with age.
Get him Helen Joyce’s book, “Trans,” as a primer.
Get him any of Walt Heyer’s self-published books on Amazon. Walt is an older Detrans guy.
Hotgambler - The author's son may or may not be an AGP. While you provide useful advise , I think it's a bit irresponsible to make categorical statements based on such limited information.
I've seen this, no need to be condescending with the good old "educate yourself" slogan. I didn't say there are no AGPs , I said you shouldn't be making definitive diagnoses based on extremely limited information. Some trans-identified men are AGPs, some are not. Many younger ones are autistic. Even in person diagnosis would require careful observation and thinking. Diagnosing someone based on an essay is a bit ridiculous. If you suggested AGP as a potential rather than definite cause, I'd have no issue with your comment.
I believe my son is AGP, I think most of these boys are (it is that or gay and mine isn't gay). I think brutal reality is better than window dressing hopes. I think the better informed people are on AGP the more likely these boys are to get better treatment. If we can speak in honesty, then maybe the medical professionals will step up and work on treatment that actually relieves the distress these poor souls are suffering with, because it is VERY real. Right now society is telling them it is because they are "born in the wrong body" but many of them were indoctrinated by the internet at a young age when going throug puberty and I firmly believe their wires got crossed. They aren't bad people, the internet was never meant to exist in human biological development and NO ONE is being honest with these boys/men.
I do not think it is right for you to assert your opinion as to a diagnosis after having read this brief essay. People are far more complicated than that. This mother is in pain and does not need to hear your opinion as fact.
I believe my son is AGP, I think most of these boys are (it is that or gay and mine isn't gay). I think brutal reality is better than window dressing hopes. I think the better informed people are on AGP the more likely these boys are to get better treatment. If we can speak in honesty, then maybe the medical professionals will step up and work on treatment that actually relieves the distress these poor souls are suffering with, because it is VERY real. Right now society is telling them it is because they are "born in the wrong body" but many of them were indoctrinated by the internet at a young age when going throug puberty and I firmly believe their wires got crossed. They aren't bad people, the internet was never meant to exist in human biological development and NO ONE is being honest with these boys/men.
I grew up Christian and transitioned. The stuff you learn online about what it means to be trans and the secret minds of Christians can really warp your perspective of the world. It took years, and a lot of mental anguish for myself and my family, but I eventually detransitioned.
It is possible that your son is gay and afraid to admit it. I was. I would consider whether there were signs of that. My family all thought I would come out as gay one day because there were lots of signs. I didn't crossdress, which is why the trans announcement was such a shock, but I was quite a bit more feminine than other men and I always had an excuse for why I didn't have a girlfriend. It's too hard to date as an adult, I work too much, I have too many activities, there aren't any good ones. They still pressed me on being gay. I denied it. Once I was a woman, I would just come out as straight. Problem solved.
Hang in there. It's still possible for him to snap out of it.
Thank you for your insight. Did you go through the same relationship struggles with your parents…the re-writing of history & childhood memories? I think so many of us are perplexed about the personality change that seems to accompany this, the cutting off & in my case, estrangement
If you're referring to making everybody change memories to be the opposite sex and opposite sex pronouns, then no. I always spoke of my past as male. I also never forced the pronouns.
I could probably write an entire post on the personality shift. It's from spending too much time online, like doom scrolling social media, but it's on trans sites. You're taught that anybody that doesn't accept you without question, only loves you conditionally, or maybe even hates you. Then you ruminate on these ideas, pulling in every memory you can find to support them, whether they make sense in context or not. After a while, you look at people that love you but won't support a transition, and all you feel is fear and/or anger because they won't let you be yourself or they don't want you to be happy.
It's like a crush in reverse. Instead of thinking someone is secretly in love with you, you're thinking someone secretly hates you.
Wow…that sounds terrifying. It’s hard to believe, but you’re right, that’s how he acts…like I’m his enemy. Everyone says we mothers can trust our intuition, but all my instincts are shot. I genuinely don’t know how to handle it. I feel mute.
I to have turned back to God and Christianity. My daughter has been caught in this too. Our family is sad, sorry, angry and ultimately accepting of our horrible new reality. I looked at the stages of grief and realised that’s what I was going through. I do not affirm any of this and I will continue to resist the evil stalking the world at the moment but I realised it has turned me towards faith so that is an incredibly positive thing for me and so many others. May God bless and come to the aid of all the parents suffering this loss. ❤️
I feel like I wrote this letter. Word by word, thought by thought. Exact same situation for me January 26, 2022.
This author put all my words and tears on paper. I too turn to our Dear Lord praying he can help my son. Everyday I think about him and pray something changes inside him. Please Jesus hear our prayers. Please help our children see the light. Hugs and prayers to us all.
Just starting on this journey. Son is 32 and has been depressed for years.
Accept..
He says to me . I do, but I still will not lie and say " my daughter"
Keeping hope in what God only can do for this
I feel like I could have written this because those are all of my feelings as well 😔 But you said it so beautifully and I could not. My faith is in God too and that is the only reason I can some days smile! Let’s hold on to hope and miracles for our flowers to come 🌺🌷🌸🌻
Transitioning is far more complex & challenging than generally presented, encourage your son to educate himself, Graham Linehan & Andrew Gold to name 2 discuss detransitioners & young people who don't survive their surgeries, your son may not wish to commit to permanent changes to his life & body (many come to regret in their 20's that they cannot parent). It's possible to live your life as you chose without closing doors permanently behind you.
Hold on tight to God. He knows you and He loves you. Our hope will keep our hearts open to embrace our children on the day they return. “ and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” Romans 5:5
This is an eerily similar story to mine. My son has been on hrt for nearly a year. Yet, he has had a girlfriend for almost as long. My son used to believe in God but claims he no longer does. I just keep declaring that he is just writing his testimony and one day will be winning souls for the Kingdom of God. I have never been so scared, horrified and distraught and at the same time I have never felt closer to God. I pray that this nightmare ends soon for all of our families.
I had your exact same reaction and experience with my son, although he did not tell me he was transitioning. My husband and I were dumbfounded when we started to notice that he was wearing women's apparel, painting his nails, and had lipstick in his bathroom drawer. I did not understand what was going on and I first understood what had happened when I finally read the same book by Dr. Miriam Grossman after seeing her in an interview via The Epoch Times. I also totally freaked out with tears, frustration, disbelief, and anger. I felt totally crushed and lost. Just as you felt, it seemed like a nightmare and I wished that I could just wake up and everything would be like it had been when he was growing up as my son. I also thought of the Jim Jones' Peoples Temple cult in the 1970s through which numerous adults and children committed mass suicide at his calling in the Jonestown Massacre when I was just a teenager. I read or heard today's transgender cult as being seen as 'a mass psychosis affecting the western world' and that is how I see it. Someone else referred to it as a psychological 'virus' and that is how I see it, too. I believe that years in the future, once the world sees through the transgender lies, the transgender cult will be viewed by historians and future generations as a psychological phenomenon of mass psychosis, similar to the psychoses of the Salem Witch Hunt and the Jonestown cult. It's very sad and so unreal.
“If you come to me but will not leave your family, you cannot be my follower. You must love me more than your father, mother, wife, children, brothers, and sisters—even more than your own life!" Luke 14:26. This verse requires complete trust in the Lord. He asks us to trust in Him and Him alone. He saw what is happening now and is in control.
If one of my grandchildren ever chooses to trans I would not be able to handle it or accept it. God would be my refuge. You wrote beautifully and God will be able to intervene in some way at some time. You are so loved by him and your son's love will stay with you.
We walk in very similar shoes. I wish I didn’t belong to this ever grown family, but this is the valley my family is in too. Trusting God in this valley has been my hardest season yet but we will not let the enemy win. We will stay on our knees, the game is not finished and the score is not in. Thank you for sharing
What you say about waking from a nightmare each morning, but then rediscovering again that it is your new reality, resonates with me deeply. I wish I could say it gets easier. I wish I had taken better care of myself from the beginning. Your child is important indeed, but your health and wellness are also important.
Your son is autogynephilic. Heterosexual male, with a sexual obsession to be female. This is the only type of gender dysphoria that gets worse, more intense, with age.
Get him Helen Joyce’s book, “Trans,” as a primer.
Get him any of Walt Heyer’s self-published books on Amazon. Walt is an older Detrans guy.
You can watch his videos on YouTube.
You can only do so much with an AGP. Good luck.
Hotgambler - The author's son may or may not be an AGP. While you provide useful advise , I think it's a bit irresponsible to make categorical statements based on such limited information.
Better to offer hope than pity. Educate yourself. https://search.app/rqLN41gP2xtGoNHW6
I've seen this, no need to be condescending with the good old "educate yourself" slogan. I didn't say there are no AGPs , I said you shouldn't be making definitive diagnoses based on extremely limited information. Some trans-identified men are AGPs, some are not. Many younger ones are autistic. Even in person diagnosis would require careful observation and thinking. Diagnosing someone based on an essay is a bit ridiculous. If you suggested AGP as a potential rather than definite cause, I'd have no issue with your comment.
I believe my son is AGP, I think most of these boys are (it is that or gay and mine isn't gay). I think brutal reality is better than window dressing hopes. I think the better informed people are on AGP the more likely these boys are to get better treatment. If we can speak in honesty, then maybe the medical professionals will step up and work on treatment that actually relieves the distress these poor souls are suffering with, because it is VERY real. Right now society is telling them it is because they are "born in the wrong body" but many of them were indoctrinated by the internet at a young age when going throug puberty and I firmly believe their wires got crossed. They aren't bad people, the internet was never meant to exist in human biological development and NO ONE is being honest with these boys/men.
I do not think it is right for you to assert your opinion as to a diagnosis after having read this brief essay. People are far more complicated than that. This mother is in pain and does not need to hear your opinion as fact.
I believe my son is AGP, I think most of these boys are (it is that or gay and mine isn't gay). I think brutal reality is better than window dressing hopes. I think the better informed people are on AGP the more likely these boys are to get better treatment. If we can speak in honesty, then maybe the medical professionals will step up and work on treatment that actually relieves the distress these poor souls are suffering with, because it is VERY real. Right now society is telling them it is because they are "born in the wrong body" but many of them were indoctrinated by the internet at a young age when going throug puberty and I firmly believe their wires got crossed. They aren't bad people, the internet was never meant to exist in human biological development and NO ONE is being honest with these boys/men.
https://search.app/rqLN41gP2xtGoNHW6
We wrote almost the same thing within a minute of one another :)
I pray for my broken family and for all the heartbroken families impacted by this ideology.
I cannot deny that i also curse this cult that took my beautiful daughter.
I grew up Christian and transitioned. The stuff you learn online about what it means to be trans and the secret minds of Christians can really warp your perspective of the world. It took years, and a lot of mental anguish for myself and my family, but I eventually detransitioned.
It is possible that your son is gay and afraid to admit it. I was. I would consider whether there were signs of that. My family all thought I would come out as gay one day because there were lots of signs. I didn't crossdress, which is why the trans announcement was such a shock, but I was quite a bit more feminine than other men and I always had an excuse for why I didn't have a girlfriend. It's too hard to date as an adult, I work too much, I have too many activities, there aren't any good ones. They still pressed me on being gay. I denied it. Once I was a woman, I would just come out as straight. Problem solved.
Hang in there. It's still possible for him to snap out of it.
Thank you for your insight. Did you go through the same relationship struggles with your parents…the re-writing of history & childhood memories? I think so many of us are perplexed about the personality change that seems to accompany this, the cutting off & in my case, estrangement
If you're referring to making everybody change memories to be the opposite sex and opposite sex pronouns, then no. I always spoke of my past as male. I also never forced the pronouns.
I could probably write an entire post on the personality shift. It's from spending too much time online, like doom scrolling social media, but it's on trans sites. You're taught that anybody that doesn't accept you without question, only loves you conditionally, or maybe even hates you. Then you ruminate on these ideas, pulling in every memory you can find to support them, whether they make sense in context or not. After a while, you look at people that love you but won't support a transition, and all you feel is fear and/or anger because they won't let you be yourself or they don't want you to be happy.
It's like a crush in reverse. Instead of thinking someone is secretly in love with you, you're thinking someone secretly hates you.
Wow…that sounds terrifying. It’s hard to believe, but you’re right, that’s how he acts…like I’m his enemy. Everyone says we mothers can trust our intuition, but all my instincts are shot. I genuinely don’t know how to handle it. I feel mute.
I to have turned back to God and Christianity. My daughter has been caught in this too. Our family is sad, sorry, angry and ultimately accepting of our horrible new reality. I looked at the stages of grief and realised that’s what I was going through. I do not affirm any of this and I will continue to resist the evil stalking the world at the moment but I realised it has turned me towards faith so that is an incredibly positive thing for me and so many others. May God bless and come to the aid of all the parents suffering this loss. ❤️
I feel like I wrote this letter. Word by word, thought by thought. Exact same situation for me January 26, 2022.
This author put all my words and tears on paper. I too turn to our Dear Lord praying he can help my son. Everyday I think about him and pray something changes inside him. Please Jesus hear our prayers. Please help our children see the light. Hugs and prayers to us all.