How do we cope with using pronouns?
A child fell down a rabbit hole. This parent tried hanging ropes into this deep hole, but eventually hope vanished. Shouting down into the hole was met with silence, only my own voice echoed back. After years of heartbreak there was nothing else that could be done, except pray.
In this crazy Alice in Wonderland world, the child lives an upside down life. Right becomes wrong, good becomes evil, male becomes female, weakness becomes strength. Many children, being weak and vulnerable, fell into this big hole where they are told their weakness is their strength. Lies replace truth.
Ha was indoctrinated into thinking that “changing sex” was the answer to Ha’s woes. Ha believed, and chose to remain in the rabbit hole.
This once beautiful daughter pretends to be a man. In Ha’s presence I dare not use the pronoun “she”.
Do we have the courage to invent a pronoun such as “ha” and use it in public?
We parents can fight this evil. It is not just a silly game, although if we find a sense of humour it helps us survive the ordeal.
Ha, ha. This is no laughing matter.
Perhaps I would call Ha “No”. The chosen name “Noha” is a difficult name to shorten. This inability of mine to accept “gender change” makes life difficult for me.
No is never a son, always a daughter. No speaks with a deep voice which becomes more feminine when speaking with me. No does not need to act in my presence.
I know the truth.
When my daughter announced she was trans, I told her I loved her... That I loved her enough to only ever speak the objective truth to and about her... That I could never compromise my integrity to knowingly partake in an ongoing lie... I conceived and gave birth to a daughter... Every cell in her body screams she is my daughter... She will only ever be my daughter, even if she decides to cosplay permanently...
I recently heard an interview with a detransitioner who said that the single most important thing to her - and her highest advice to parents and family members of a child claiming to be trans - was to not get sucked into the lie, and to NEVER acquiesce to the new name or pronouns...
To be waiting on the other side - no matter how long it takes to get there - ready to welcome them back to (biological) reality...
It's been a year and now she's about to turn 18 she's about to start T because she can as an "adult" make get own medical decisions...
😭
I don't know how parents can really accept, that the daughter, they have lived with for hers whole life, is suddenly a son. Noway. I have two sons, they are so different from the kind my daughter is pretending to be .. and the first of all they are different in the way how they treat me as a mother. Even the younger one, age 9 tries to protect me. The daughter is engaged in a typical mother-daughter fight. Sometimes I think the main goal of this struggle is to afflict the highest possible damage to the parents, as a punishment.