I am not a man. Nor have I ever tried to live as one, pass as one or pretend to fully comprehend men. But my daughter is convinced she is a man, at least that’s what she tells my husband and me. Frankly, I don’t think she believes she was “born in the wrong body”, as the kids say these days. She has some serious teen-age/young adult mental health issues – anxiety, social awkwardness with a little OCD on top – and is using trans-ideology to assuage them. Or rather to avoid addressing them. But she is hell bent on living as a man. Here’s what I’ve surmised that means.
Mine has progressed from eating junk food to eating ultra healthy food. Maybe that is to stop any fat deposits although with testosterone her aim is to put muscle where there should be some fat.
You point out exactly what's so staggering about gender ideology: it's incredibly reductive and regressive concerning gender stereotypes. It's a weird illusion of how men or women supposedly are and at the same time it denies that there is such a thing as sexual dimorphism. It's lunacy and it's dangerous: https://twoplustwo.substack.com/p/i-identify-therefore-i-am-the-illusion
My heart goes out to you and your daughter. I sincerely hope this will turn out for the better soon.
For someone so insistent on needing hormones so that he can be a woman, my kid seems to have zero respect for the females in his family or any woman who doesn't agree with him. There's no true identification with the reality of what a female is. No interest. No insight. Male TRAs are incredibly misogynistic, using their very maleness to shut down female voices. Some female transitioners don't seem to be trying to assimilate into the male realm, but into the trans male realm as the endpoint. Both groups have idealized, sterotypical versions of the opposite sex that are not reality-based because most are not running to them, but running away from the their distorted understanding of their own sex.
All this certainly is insulting to men. But hey, we're used to being insulted at this point.
One thing I find intriguing about the social-contagion-type of ROGD girl is the (apparent) lack of understanding that, as "men," they will most certainly *not* look like a big, wet-eyed, floppy-haired "cute" anime boy for very long, if at all. I wonder how many of them think of their future "male" selves with any awareness of, say, paunches, pattern baldness, grizzled faces, and all.
I've seen a bit of writing pondering the possible influence of anime-style cartoons on today's "trans" youth. I'd like to learn more, because it seems plausible that the influence is real.
There is definitely a connection between seen culture and trans culture. My 25 year old son is a "transwomen", and has always been into anime. His love of anime actually made me love it too. Now I'm kind of horrified to be identified with anime, if there is indeed a connection. There is the whole fanfiction and furry angle to this too. So weird.
This is the kind of humor that when you realize you’re laughing so hard at the contents of the piece, you suddenly realize it is equally, dramatically sad and pathetic and you cry. I am sorry, mama , that you are going through this but I hope your brilliant humor prevails as does your perseverance for the truth and love for your daughter wins.
Truth be told… it is sad and embarrassing how the “want to be girls” act and how the “want to be boys” act - their pretending is exaggerated which makes him/her stand out. It is like these confused kids want to be noticed, want to be different. They are odd, unnatural. It is very confusing. And frustrating. And annoying. This cult is stealing the normalcy from our children and then our children pretend it is normal. We are living in a horrible nightmare.
It is nothing more than a cult. These kids are all hypnotized into saying the exact same things, looking the exact same way, wearing the exact same type of clothing, and presenting the exact same arguments for why they FEEL they are trans. It's shocking and sickening.
LOL. I COMMEND you for the ability to laugh in the face of delusion, rage, grief, pain, heartache, and insanity. Not everyone can laugh. A rare gift! I hope it sustains you. And funnier still, since "women aren't funny," right? (Ergo, have you considered that you might be transgender...? Take THIS quiz and see...!)
Please don't buy into her delusion. Do not buy her ill fitting clothes or any other masculine products. My son identifies as female. I will not buy him any female clothing, make up, jewelry or female products. For Christsmas he is getting a Subway gift card. He is still in college and there is a Subway on campus that he frequents. I will not support his delusion.
Same here & I am torn, we have so little communication I fear he is getting ready to distance himself even further..it’s threatening, but I believe that’s all part of the ‘grooming’ they read online? All or nothing affirmation, dump your parents
I hope she snaps out of it and comes home to her natal self. Trans reifies old stereotypes we thought we were rid of. But trans has resurrected this ridiculous and damaging part of the patriarchy that limits male and female expression particularly to the detriment of troubled young people. I am glad you have not totally lost your sense of humor and I know it must be keeping you sane through all of the current madness.
This is such a well-written and entertaining piece. I love how you were able to portray your daughter's parody of manhood with humor and respect, even though you're grieving and hurting in your heart. I hope more people will read it and understand what this trans ideology is doing to kids and their families.
OP: "But my daughter is convinced she is a man ..."
I've often wondered whether you, and other parents in the same -- storm-tossed -- boat, have ever tried asking your kids whether they know the standard definitions for man -- i.e., adult human male -- and for woman -- i.e., adult human female. And pointed out that what's necessary to qualify as a male is to have functional testicles. Which means, for example, that no "transman" will ever become a male since that would, at the least, require replacing her ovaries with testicles.
A medical impossibility. Don't think "we" are doing kids any favours if we try to obscure or sugarcoat such brute facts.
Good question, but reason doesn't work well on teenagers bent on being their "authentic selves". Basically, parents are dealing with young people who behave as though they have been indoctrinated into a cult, which I believe they have. You cannot reason someone out of a cult.
If possible, getting them involved with real things in the real world (nature, a job) does seem to help some.
A rather depressing state of affairs; I can sympathize with both kids and parents who have to deal with the problem.
Though dealing with cults of one sort or another seems to have been part and parcel of parenting from square one. Some have suggested a comparison between the Pied Piper and various transgender activists.
But I think the phenomenon speaks to how we all develop our senses of self. Some comparisons to imprinting and Woody Allen's "mockumentary" Zelig in my comments here:
Quite agree with you about cults promoted by the state ...
Profoundly depressing that that is the case. My post on how it has corrupted the statistics departments of Britain, New Zealand, and my country's, Canada's own:
Something of a case-in-point to Joanna Williams' detailed essay on "The Corrosive Impact of Transgender Ideology"; link therein that I can't easily copy into a comment here.
Can't say that I've more than skimmed her article but she seems to give chapter and verse on the rot that transgenderism has wrought - so to speak. A serious problem, a Titanic-sinking iceberg of a problem.
I’ve got the crappy dress, too big, often accented by a pretty bracelet for no reason, foul language, and lack of personal care habits in my daughter. Also the acne. And terribly unhealthy, eating habits, with borderline anorexia. No hair loss or UTIs yet, maybe that will turn her from her course. Sigh. 
Just like my daughter.
Mine has progressed from eating junk food to eating ultra healthy food. Maybe that is to stop any fat deposits although with testosterone her aim is to put muscle where there should be some fat.
Black is the standard colour.
You point out exactly what's so staggering about gender ideology: it's incredibly reductive and regressive concerning gender stereotypes. It's a weird illusion of how men or women supposedly are and at the same time it denies that there is such a thing as sexual dimorphism. It's lunacy and it's dangerous: https://twoplustwo.substack.com/p/i-identify-therefore-i-am-the-illusion
My heart goes out to you and your daughter. I sincerely hope this will turn out for the better soon.
Hey, so sorry to hear all this. Hang in there
For someone so insistent on needing hormones so that he can be a woman, my kid seems to have zero respect for the females in his family or any woman who doesn't agree with him. There's no true identification with the reality of what a female is. No interest. No insight. Male TRAs are incredibly misogynistic, using their very maleness to shut down female voices. Some female transitioners don't seem to be trying to assimilate into the male realm, but into the trans male realm as the endpoint. Both groups have idealized, sterotypical versions of the opposite sex that are not reality-based because most are not running to them, but running away from the their distorted understanding of their own sex.
All this certainly is insulting to men. But hey, we're used to being insulted at this point.
One thing I find intriguing about the social-contagion-type of ROGD girl is the (apparent) lack of understanding that, as "men," they will most certainly *not* look like a big, wet-eyed, floppy-haired "cute" anime boy for very long, if at all. I wonder how many of them think of their future "male" selves with any awareness of, say, paunches, pattern baldness, grizzled faces, and all.
I've seen a bit of writing pondering the possible influence of anime-style cartoons on today's "trans" youth. I'd like to learn more, because it seems plausible that the influence is real.
There is definitely a connection between seen culture and trans culture. My 25 year old son is a "transwomen", and has always been into anime. His love of anime actually made me love it too. Now I'm kind of horrified to be identified with anime, if there is indeed a connection. There is the whole fanfiction and furry angle to this too. So weird.
Hi Brian, I am aware. Thank you
I confess I laughed at a few well-turned phrases, despite the underlying heartbreak for what you’re dealing with.
The complete and utter lack of reality is what drives me so crazy, and your piece was perfect in illustrating that lack.
Prayers that your daughter will still come back.
This is the kind of humor that when you realize you’re laughing so hard at the contents of the piece, you suddenly realize it is equally, dramatically sad and pathetic and you cry. I am sorry, mama , that you are going through this but I hope your brilliant humor prevails as does your perseverance for the truth and love for your daughter wins.
Truth be told… it is sad and embarrassing how the “want to be girls” act and how the “want to be boys” act - their pretending is exaggerated which makes him/her stand out. It is like these confused kids want to be noticed, want to be different. They are odd, unnatural. It is very confusing. And frustrating. And annoying. This cult is stealing the normalcy from our children and then our children pretend it is normal. We are living in a horrible nightmare.
It is nothing more than a cult. These kids are all hypnotized into saying the exact same things, looking the exact same way, wearing the exact same type of clothing, and presenting the exact same arguments for why they FEEL they are trans. It's shocking and sickening.
Lol. You seem delightful. I would bet you're absolutely miserable. I'll pray for you. Which I'm sure that statement alone will enrage you.
LOL. I COMMEND you for the ability to laugh in the face of delusion, rage, grief, pain, heartache, and insanity. Not everyone can laugh. A rare gift! I hope it sustains you. And funnier still, since "women aren't funny," right? (Ergo, have you considered that you might be transgender...? Take THIS quiz and see...!)
Please don't buy into her delusion. Do not buy her ill fitting clothes or any other masculine products. My son identifies as female. I will not buy him any female clothing, make up, jewelry or female products. For Christsmas he is getting a Subway gift card. He is still in college and there is a Subway on campus that he frequents. I will not support his delusion.
Same here & I am torn, we have so little communication I fear he is getting ready to distance himself even further..it’s threatening, but I believe that’s all part of the ‘grooming’ they read online? All or nothing affirmation, dump your parents
I hope she snaps out of it and comes home to her natal self. Trans reifies old stereotypes we thought we were rid of. But trans has resurrected this ridiculous and damaging part of the patriarchy that limits male and female expression particularly to the detriment of troubled young people. I am glad you have not totally lost your sense of humor and I know it must be keeping you sane through all of the current madness.
This is such a well-written and entertaining piece. I love how you were able to portray your daughter's parody of manhood with humor and respect, even though you're grieving and hurting in your heart. I hope more people will read it and understand what this trans ideology is doing to kids and their families.
OP: "But my daughter is convinced she is a man ..."
I've often wondered whether you, and other parents in the same -- storm-tossed -- boat, have ever tried asking your kids whether they know the standard definitions for man -- i.e., adult human male -- and for woman -- i.e., adult human female. And pointed out that what's necessary to qualify as a male is to have functional testicles. Which means, for example, that no "transman" will ever become a male since that would, at the least, require replacing her ovaries with testicles.
A medical impossibility. Don't think "we" are doing kids any favours if we try to obscure or sugarcoat such brute facts.
Good question, but reason doesn't work well on teenagers bent on being their "authentic selves". Basically, parents are dealing with young people who behave as though they have been indoctrinated into a cult, which I believe they have. You cannot reason someone out of a cult.
If possible, getting them involved with real things in the real world (nature, a job) does seem to help some.
A rather depressing state of affairs; I can sympathize with both kids and parents who have to deal with the problem.
Though dealing with cults of one sort or another seems to have been part and parcel of parenting from square one. Some have suggested a comparison between the Pied Piper and various transgender activists.
But I think the phenomenon speaks to how we all develop our senses of self. Some comparisons to imprinting and Woody Allen's "mockumentary" Zelig in my comments here:
https://everythingisbiology.substack.com/p/hallucinating-your-inner-trans-reptile/comment/10960413
Though the post itself -- "Hallucinating your inner trans-repitile" -- may be of some relevance as well.
Most cults are not promoted by the state, the schools, medicine, pharma, media...
I'll have a look - thx.
Quite agree with you about cults promoted by the state ...
Profoundly depressing that that is the case. My post on how it has corrupted the statistics departments of Britain, New Zealand, and my country's, Canada's own:
https://humanuseofhumanbeings.substack.com/p/statistics-departments-corrupted
Something of a case-in-point to Joanna Williams' detailed essay on "The Corrosive Impact of Transgender Ideology"; link therein that I can't easily copy into a comment here.
Can't say that I've more than skimmed her article but she seems to give chapter and verse on the rot that transgenderism has wrought - so to speak. A serious problem, a Titanic-sinking iceberg of a problem.
Edit to add:
https://www.civitas.org.uk/content/files/2454-A-The-Corrosive-Impact-of-TI-ppi-110-WEB.pdf
I’ve got the crappy dress, too big, often accented by a pretty bracelet for no reason, foul language, and lack of personal care habits in my daughter. Also the acne. And terribly unhealthy, eating habits, with borderline anorexia. No hair loss or UTIs yet, maybe that will turn her from her course. Sigh.