Are you one of the millions of parents that took Elon Musk’s advice and watched the Daily Wire’s What is a Woman documentary over the last couple days?
Awareness definitely needs to be spread. Especially regarding the problem of 'affirmation' or 'validation' that seems so benign at first glance. On the 'social contagion' aspect of transgender identity ideology, I think readers/parents here will find this article out recently in The TransAtlantic an interesting read…
"Ideology & Anxiety: What Can We Learn From Penis-Shrinking Panics?
You might want to add to the list of allies, non-religious moderate conservatives who have believed from the beginning that the trans ideology for kids is a social contagion.
Thank you Pamela. I actually have talked to the teens about the transgender ideology and why I would never use incorrect pronouns and why I think that is harmful. I have really educated myself about this issue and feel very passionately about protecting children.
But --yes, I'm sorry, there is a but---you left out some natural allies.
Non-liberals who see reality. Or, if you can stomach the word, "conservatives."
The feminists you believe are your natural allies in this fight helped birth the transgender ideology (yes, I know, there will be yelling that this is not the case, yet it is).
Got room in your tent for anyone who doesn't say "I'm a liberal?" Any room at all.
Conservative gay men like me care about this issue, too. Non-liberal people have been the ones trying to draw attention to this (yes, feminists, I know you're out there too, I see and hear you, it's that you don't see and hear others).
Yet it didn't even occur to you to extend the olive branch to people who care about the very same issues you do. It shows. And we non-liberals notice it.
Josh, I get where you're coming from with this, but as a non-liberal myself -- I'm a conservative Christian in fact -- I think you're maybe being a little harsh and painting with an overly broad brush.
I read this site a lot and from the comments I know that I have a lot of Christian conservative ccmpany...and I've never picked up on any sort of non-welcoming attitude. On the contrary, many people who post articles here confess to their anger and disillusionment with the Party (Democrat) and ideology (liberal) to which they once claimed allegiance.
Yes, I realize that there are differences of opinion here on some fundamental philosophical issues of feminism and moral traditionalism, but I don't see this getting in the way of the main mission, which we all agree on: protecting and saving children from the demonic madness that has possessed our culture and is now promoted by our government.
The writer’s info is generally excellent but she could not completely humble herself to the TRUTH. Not even for her child. *It was a willful omission.* If we don’t acknowledge it, we will be culpable in perpetuating this deception which will surely mutate into another unsuspecting form to bring suffering and misery on the next generation. As a Christian I appreciate your gentleness but we must also be discerning and wise.
If you cannot make common cause with social conservatives, you will not have a coalition which will defeat this menace.
I invite all leftists of good faith to consider the role and place that contraception, abortion, and pornography play in the United States. To uproot the trans contagion for good---not the psychological dysphoria but the cult---we need to uproot these three things from our society.
One early bullet point is to accept gender nonconformity (I agree), but then later, another point is to reject the new name & pronouns (agree with that as well)....but also the clothes. What? If your child wants to buy gender-nonconforming clothes from now on, there's no particular reason to stop them as long as they're school-appropriate. At least, if you want to be consistent in being pro-nonconformity but anti-genderist. If there were a sudden fad for boys to wear skirts, and it had nothing to do with gender, there wouldn't be anything wrong with that at all. The first men to wear skinny jeans were wearing women's jeans, in fact. However, if they demand to throw out their whole closet and get a whole new one, that's different, as you wouldn't acquiesce to that for a non-"transitioning" child.
Also another site to add to that list of reddits & discords - 4chan.org, in particular the LGBT board (which even on the site is referred to as the "TTTT" board) of course, as well as the "R9K" and "Social" boards where a lot of grooming & recruitment occurs. Content warning of course...but aside from educating yourself, posting doesn't require an account or anything else, so if you'd like, you can practice your arguments with your kids with an infinite supply of trans activists - possibly even the very same people they're getting talking points from on Discord.
If a kid who is not trans-identified wants to wear gender nonconforming clothes, that would be fine. The problem with this population is that clothes reinforce their delusion and solidify the identity. Or , if you think of trans as obsession and addiction, it's like offering a few sips of wine to a recovering alcoholic. (It's probably worse for boys wearing skirts since at this point pants/shorts are pretty typical for girls and are pretty much unisex).
Well, we have a subtle question here, and I think the correct course hinges on "school appropriate." Often, young trans-identifying people don't exactly have the most fact-based idea of what people of the other sex actually wear day-to-day. Trans-identifying males will often gravitate to women's clothing that isn't remotely appropriate for their age or setting, and that's something very much to be pushed back on. Most young women these days seem to wear hoodies & sweatpants more than anything else, especially to school. But I think it's important to be very clear about your position. A boy wearing girls' clothes is not a girl, he is a boy with a unique sense of style. Telling your son that certain clothes are "wrong" for him because they are "girls' clothes" is exactly the opposite of this.
It would be a lot more productive to engage in a discussion regarding why some clothes are considered "girls' clothes" and others are "boys' clothes", how such stereotypes were developed and how they are reinforced - and you can easily counter genderist viewpoints with many examples of gender-nonconforming men wearing whatever clothes they like without "identifying as women". Lots of musicians used to do this, case in point Dee Snyder, and in terms of surprisingly different fashion trends, show him pictures of *very* masculine men in crop tops from the 70s & 80s.
I was lucky enough to have a few role models in this regard as a kid - Billie Joe Armstrong was a big one - but today they are few and far between, there's either hypermasculine or queer and there's no in between. Many "zoomers" consider skinny jeans to be "gay" or "girly" which is a real regression in terms of genderism. Older people, I think, got very used to the ubiquitousness of men like Michael Jackson, Boy George, Dave Gahan, Prince, etc, and they don't realize how few non-hypermasculine role models boys see these days. It's true for girls as well - girls who grew up in the 90s watched Pocahontas and Mulan, girls who grew up in the 2000s watched Tangled & Frozen. The rise of transgenderism comes about 10 years after the bush-era resurgence of genderism - sometimes called "princessification" as it relates to media for young women - and I don't think it's a coincidence at all.
There are even more subtleties, really. Is a trans-identified boy wearing his new "girl clothes" to school, or is he just wearing them when he's alone? Counterintuitively, I think the second thing there is much worse: the development of a second "secret identity", where one is only one's "true self" in private, I think contributes to people becoming more and more attached to transgenderism as a concept, because they think they need medicine and surgery etc to let the "true self: out.
Representative Dan Crenshaw of Texas asked a witness that supports “gender affirming care” (GAC) to provide one scientific study that confirms anything beneficial regarding these practices and she could not. All she would do is talk about nebulous “standards of care.” GAC is not medically necessary or lifesaving as the Biden Administration and nearly every Democrat run state proclaims. I think this the most important issue in the nation. The destruction of a substantial portion of an entire generation is a very serious matter.
My family has been destroyed by this & my other kids are getting sucked in too. Angry that we will not put in the effort & work, albeit hard, to accept the name change, My so called knowledgeable teen knew nothing about Tavistock, the Dutch Protocol, said derogatory things about Matt Walsh. Where is he getting his info from. It’s such a fight & I am not a fighting person. Exhausting.
Great advice and excellent information. I hope this will help many, many parents who are feeling stuck, lost and hopeless. We need to keep the knowledge, personal experiences, coping skills and resources flowing so we can gain strength to outwit and outsmart this cult! My sister and her husband did not affirm their son, neither did I, and we did not use the pronouns or new name he expected us to use. We held our ground. He left home almost 10 months ago, we do not know where he is, but we did not encourage or condone his fantasy of wanting to become a woman. We knew he had been groomed and we did not agree or participate in his pretending. We hope he will desist and return home or if he has taken this fantasy to another level that he will detransition. There is a lot more negative press today then there was 10 months ago about the transgender movement which I take as a plus for our side. The Bud Light and Target backlash was a huge plus. The LGB community is starting to push back against the "T" actions and drama, and Pride Month seems to have been tainted a little. This is a good sign. Why the President of the United States would agree to hang a Pride flag at the White House in between the American flags is beyond my comprehension but it will have a backlash...just wait and see. Our fight is real and we are all in this together - and we will not give up fighting for our kids! Stay strong!!!!
Excellent! Glad this thorough piece is being shared for a second time. It’s the first view for me. I just made the comment on a recent PITT piece that “there’s no formula.” But, when your children are still minors, under your roof, these measures can work. I’m glad to say I know multiple families who have kids who have desisted. It’s a long game but it’s happening.
Wait... what do you mean trans ideology is like flat-earthers? The Earth is round? :-)
More seriously, great repost. This must have predated me originally since I don't remember it, but it's excellent, probably because it's written by parents who survived it and knew what other parents just facing it would need to hear.
Awareness definitely needs to be spread. Especially regarding the problem of 'affirmation' or 'validation' that seems so benign at first glance. On the 'social contagion' aspect of transgender identity ideology, I think readers/parents here will find this article out recently in The TransAtlantic an interesting read…
"Ideology & Anxiety: What Can We Learn From Penis-Shrinking Panics?
" – https://thetransatlantic.substack.com/p/ideology-and-anxiety-what-can-we
You might want to add to the list of allies, non-religious moderate conservatives who have believed from the beginning that the trans ideology for kids is a social contagion.
Thank you Pamela. I actually have talked to the teens about the transgender ideology and why I would never use incorrect pronouns and why I think that is harmful. I have really educated myself about this issue and feel very passionately about protecting children.
So many great resources all in one handy place. Thank you PITT!
This advice is so, so good.
But --yes, I'm sorry, there is a but---you left out some natural allies.
Non-liberals who see reality. Or, if you can stomach the word, "conservatives."
The feminists you believe are your natural allies in this fight helped birth the transgender ideology (yes, I know, there will be yelling that this is not the case, yet it is).
Got room in your tent for anyone who doesn't say "I'm a liberal?" Any room at all.
Conservative gay men like me care about this issue, too. Non-liberal people have been the ones trying to draw attention to this (yes, feminists, I know you're out there too, I see and hear you, it's that you don't see and hear others).
Yet it didn't even occur to you to extend the olive branch to people who care about the very same issues you do. It shows. And we non-liberals notice it.
It's why we don't trust you.
Josh, I get where you're coming from with this, but as a non-liberal myself -- I'm a conservative Christian in fact -- I think you're maybe being a little harsh and painting with an overly broad brush.
I read this site a lot and from the comments I know that I have a lot of Christian conservative ccmpany...and I've never picked up on any sort of non-welcoming attitude. On the contrary, many people who post articles here confess to their anger and disillusionment with the Party (Democrat) and ideology (liberal) to which they once claimed allegiance.
Yes, I realize that there are differences of opinion here on some fundamental philosophical issues of feminism and moral traditionalism, but I don't see this getting in the way of the main mission, which we all agree on: protecting and saving children from the demonic madness that has possessed our culture and is now promoted by our government.
The writer’s info is generally excellent but she could not completely humble herself to the TRUTH. Not even for her child. *It was a willful omission.* If we don’t acknowledge it, we will be culpable in perpetuating this deception which will surely mutate into another unsuspecting form to bring suffering and misery on the next generation. As a Christian I appreciate your gentleness but we must also be discerning and wise.
Yes, I am not surprised you think I'm overly harsh. I get that a lot.
I disagree. I have been around the block with this issue, with feminists, with liberals (I was a prog liberal most of my life).
No sir. I do not agree that I'm "too harsh." I am "too harsh" **for your preference**. That's all.
If you cannot make common cause with social conservatives, you will not have a coalition which will defeat this menace.
I invite all leftists of good faith to consider the role and place that contraception, abortion, and pornography play in the United States. To uproot the trans contagion for good---not the psychological dysphoria but the cult---we need to uproot these three things from our society.
They're completely blind to it, and full of their own sense of leftie-feminist virtue. The rest of us don't rate.
One early bullet point is to accept gender nonconformity (I agree), but then later, another point is to reject the new name & pronouns (agree with that as well)....but also the clothes. What? If your child wants to buy gender-nonconforming clothes from now on, there's no particular reason to stop them as long as they're school-appropriate. At least, if you want to be consistent in being pro-nonconformity but anti-genderist. If there were a sudden fad for boys to wear skirts, and it had nothing to do with gender, there wouldn't be anything wrong with that at all. The first men to wear skinny jeans were wearing women's jeans, in fact. However, if they demand to throw out their whole closet and get a whole new one, that's different, as you wouldn't acquiesce to that for a non-"transitioning" child.
Also another site to add to that list of reddits & discords - 4chan.org, in particular the LGBT board (which even on the site is referred to as the "TTTT" board) of course, as well as the "R9K" and "Social" boards where a lot of grooming & recruitment occurs. Content warning of course...but aside from educating yourself, posting doesn't require an account or anything else, so if you'd like, you can practice your arguments with your kids with an infinite supply of trans activists - possibly even the very same people they're getting talking points from on Discord.
If a kid who is not trans-identified wants to wear gender nonconforming clothes, that would be fine. The problem with this population is that clothes reinforce their delusion and solidify the identity. Or , if you think of trans as obsession and addiction, it's like offering a few sips of wine to a recovering alcoholic. (It's probably worse for boys wearing skirts since at this point pants/shorts are pretty typical for girls and are pretty much unisex).
Well, we have a subtle question here, and I think the correct course hinges on "school appropriate." Often, young trans-identifying people don't exactly have the most fact-based idea of what people of the other sex actually wear day-to-day. Trans-identifying males will often gravitate to women's clothing that isn't remotely appropriate for their age or setting, and that's something very much to be pushed back on. Most young women these days seem to wear hoodies & sweatpants more than anything else, especially to school. But I think it's important to be very clear about your position. A boy wearing girls' clothes is not a girl, he is a boy with a unique sense of style. Telling your son that certain clothes are "wrong" for him because they are "girls' clothes" is exactly the opposite of this.
It would be a lot more productive to engage in a discussion regarding why some clothes are considered "girls' clothes" and others are "boys' clothes", how such stereotypes were developed and how they are reinforced - and you can easily counter genderist viewpoints with many examples of gender-nonconforming men wearing whatever clothes they like without "identifying as women". Lots of musicians used to do this, case in point Dee Snyder, and in terms of surprisingly different fashion trends, show him pictures of *very* masculine men in crop tops from the 70s & 80s.
I was lucky enough to have a few role models in this regard as a kid - Billie Joe Armstrong was a big one - but today they are few and far between, there's either hypermasculine or queer and there's no in between. Many "zoomers" consider skinny jeans to be "gay" or "girly" which is a real regression in terms of genderism. Older people, I think, got very used to the ubiquitousness of men like Michael Jackson, Boy George, Dave Gahan, Prince, etc, and they don't realize how few non-hypermasculine role models boys see these days. It's true for girls as well - girls who grew up in the 90s watched Pocahontas and Mulan, girls who grew up in the 2000s watched Tangled & Frozen. The rise of transgenderism comes about 10 years after the bush-era resurgence of genderism - sometimes called "princessification" as it relates to media for young women - and I don't think it's a coincidence at all.
There are even more subtleties, really. Is a trans-identified boy wearing his new "girl clothes" to school, or is he just wearing them when he's alone? Counterintuitively, I think the second thing there is much worse: the development of a second "secret identity", where one is only one's "true self" in private, I think contributes to people becoming more and more attached to transgenderism as a concept, because they think they need medicine and surgery etc to let the "true self: out.
Very good read! Be strong!!
Representative Dan Crenshaw of Texas asked a witness that supports “gender affirming care” (GAC) to provide one scientific study that confirms anything beneficial regarding these practices and she could not. All she would do is talk about nebulous “standards of care.” GAC is not medically necessary or lifesaving as the Biden Administration and nearly every Democrat run state proclaims. I think this the most important issue in the nation. The destruction of a substantial portion of an entire generation is a very serious matter.
Outstanding. The best I've ever read. Thank you. Spreading it widely.
My family has been destroyed by this & my other kids are getting sucked in too. Angry that we will not put in the effort & work, albeit hard, to accept the name change, My so called knowledgeable teen knew nothing about Tavistock, the Dutch Protocol, said derogatory things about Matt Walsh. Where is he getting his info from. It’s such a fight & I am not a fighting person. Exhausting.
Thank you for sharing
This is SO good. As a 20+ year youth pastor and parent of two, the advice to not affirm in any way and being the parent is absolutely critical.
Great advice and excellent information. I hope this will help many, many parents who are feeling stuck, lost and hopeless. We need to keep the knowledge, personal experiences, coping skills and resources flowing so we can gain strength to outwit and outsmart this cult! My sister and her husband did not affirm their son, neither did I, and we did not use the pronouns or new name he expected us to use. We held our ground. He left home almost 10 months ago, we do not know where he is, but we did not encourage or condone his fantasy of wanting to become a woman. We knew he had been groomed and we did not agree or participate in his pretending. We hope he will desist and return home or if he has taken this fantasy to another level that he will detransition. There is a lot more negative press today then there was 10 months ago about the transgender movement which I take as a plus for our side. The Bud Light and Target backlash was a huge plus. The LGB community is starting to push back against the "T" actions and drama, and Pride Month seems to have been tainted a little. This is a good sign. Why the President of the United States would agree to hang a Pride flag at the White House in between the American flags is beyond my comprehension but it will have a backlash...just wait and see. Our fight is real and we are all in this together - and we will not give up fighting for our kids! Stay strong!!!!
Excellent! Glad this thorough piece is being shared for a second time. It’s the first view for me. I just made the comment on a recent PITT piece that “there’s no formula.” But, when your children are still minors, under your roof, these measures can work. I’m glad to say I know multiple families who have kids who have desisted. It’s a long game but it’s happening.
Wait... what do you mean trans ideology is like flat-earthers? The Earth is round? :-)
More seriously, great repost. This must have predated me originally since I don't remember it, but it's excellent, probably because it's written by parents who survived it and knew what other parents just facing it would need to hear.
Right now I have a feeling that nothing helps. No matter what I do, my child fight me back.
Don't give up! You don't know when you will get through to your child.