If a kid who is not trans-identified wants to wear gender nonconforming clothes, that would be fine. The problem with this population is that clothes reinforce their delusion and solidify the identity. Or , if you think of trans as obsession and addiction, it's like offering a few sips of wine to a recovering alcoholic. (It's probably wo…
If a kid who is not trans-identified wants to wear gender nonconforming clothes, that would be fine. The problem with this population is that clothes reinforce their delusion and solidify the identity. Or , if you think of trans as obsession and addiction, it's like offering a few sips of wine to a recovering alcoholic. (It's probably worse for boys wearing skirts since at this point pants/shorts are pretty typical for girls and are pretty much unisex).
Well, we have a subtle question here, and I think the correct course hinges on "school appropriate." Often, young trans-identifying people don't exactly have the most fact-based idea of what people of the other sex actually wear day-to-day. Trans-identifying males will often gravitate to women's clothing that isn't remotely appropriate for their age or setting, and that's something very much to be pushed back on. Most young women these days seem to wear hoodies & sweatpants more than anything else, especially to school. But I think it's important to be very clear about your position. A boy wearing girls' clothes is not a girl, he is a boy with a unique sense of style. Telling your son that certain clothes are "wrong" for him because they are "girls' clothes" is exactly the opposite of this.
It would be a lot more productive to engage in a discussion regarding why some clothes are considered "girls' clothes" and others are "boys' clothes", how such stereotypes were developed and how they are reinforced - and you can easily counter genderist viewpoints with many examples of gender-nonconforming men wearing whatever clothes they like without "identifying as women". Lots of musicians used to do this, case in point Dee Snyder, and in terms of surprisingly different fashion trends, show him pictures of *very* masculine men in crop tops from the 70s & 80s.
I was lucky enough to have a few role models in this regard as a kid - Billie Joe Armstrong was a big one - but today they are few and far between, there's either hypermasculine or queer and there's no in between. Many "zoomers" consider skinny jeans to be "gay" or "girly" which is a real regression in terms of genderism. Older people, I think, got very used to the ubiquitousness of men like Michael Jackson, Boy George, Dave Gahan, Prince, etc, and they don't realize how few non-hypermasculine role models boys see these days. It's true for girls as well - girls who grew up in the 90s watched Pocahontas and Mulan, girls who grew up in the 2000s watched Tangled & Frozen. The rise of transgenderism comes about 10 years after the bush-era resurgence of genderism - sometimes called "princessification" as it relates to media for young women - and I don't think it's a coincidence at all.
There are even more subtleties, really. Is a trans-identified boy wearing his new "girl clothes" to school, or is he just wearing them when he's alone? Counterintuitively, I think the second thing there is much worse: the development of a second "secret identity", where one is only one's "true self" in private, I think contributes to people becoming more and more attached to transgenderism as a concept, because they think they need medicine and surgery etc to let the "true self: out.
If a kid who is not trans-identified wants to wear gender nonconforming clothes, that would be fine. The problem with this population is that clothes reinforce their delusion and solidify the identity. Or , if you think of trans as obsession and addiction, it's like offering a few sips of wine to a recovering alcoholic. (It's probably worse for boys wearing skirts since at this point pants/shorts are pretty typical for girls and are pretty much unisex).
Well, we have a subtle question here, and I think the correct course hinges on "school appropriate." Often, young trans-identifying people don't exactly have the most fact-based idea of what people of the other sex actually wear day-to-day. Trans-identifying males will often gravitate to women's clothing that isn't remotely appropriate for their age or setting, and that's something very much to be pushed back on. Most young women these days seem to wear hoodies & sweatpants more than anything else, especially to school. But I think it's important to be very clear about your position. A boy wearing girls' clothes is not a girl, he is a boy with a unique sense of style. Telling your son that certain clothes are "wrong" for him because they are "girls' clothes" is exactly the opposite of this.
It would be a lot more productive to engage in a discussion regarding why some clothes are considered "girls' clothes" and others are "boys' clothes", how such stereotypes were developed and how they are reinforced - and you can easily counter genderist viewpoints with many examples of gender-nonconforming men wearing whatever clothes they like without "identifying as women". Lots of musicians used to do this, case in point Dee Snyder, and in terms of surprisingly different fashion trends, show him pictures of *very* masculine men in crop tops from the 70s & 80s.
I was lucky enough to have a few role models in this regard as a kid - Billie Joe Armstrong was a big one - but today they are few and far between, there's either hypermasculine or queer and there's no in between. Many "zoomers" consider skinny jeans to be "gay" or "girly" which is a real regression in terms of genderism. Older people, I think, got very used to the ubiquitousness of men like Michael Jackson, Boy George, Dave Gahan, Prince, etc, and they don't realize how few non-hypermasculine role models boys see these days. It's true for girls as well - girls who grew up in the 90s watched Pocahontas and Mulan, girls who grew up in the 2000s watched Tangled & Frozen. The rise of transgenderism comes about 10 years after the bush-era resurgence of genderism - sometimes called "princessification" as it relates to media for young women - and I don't think it's a coincidence at all.
There are even more subtleties, really. Is a trans-identified boy wearing his new "girl clothes" to school, or is he just wearing them when he's alone? Counterintuitively, I think the second thing there is much worse: the development of a second "secret identity", where one is only one's "true self" in private, I think contributes to people becoming more and more attached to transgenderism as a concept, because they think they need medicine and surgery etc to let the "true self: out.