How to deprogram a ROGD teen: Parts 1, 2 & 3
A mother tells her story
This is republished with permission from The Glinner Update.
I am writing this guide in the hope that it will help parents of ROGD teenagers. I see many instances where they are getting very poor advice but mostly, they are getting no advice at all. My belief is that gender ideology goes beyond social contagion and is a cult. My teenager daughter identified as trans for three years but once I realised that gender was a cult, I used deprogramming techniques to successfully rescue her. I will explain why I think that gender is a cult and how I went about deprogramming her. I am an ordinary mother, there is nothing exceptional about me and any parent can do what I did. I rescued my daughter without having to move house or home-school and I did it despite the threatening presence of the hostile professionals out there who encourage and celebrate trans identities against all reason, critical thinking, or good judgement.
There are two main approaches to a child who comes out as trans. Affirmation and watchful waiting. Affirmation is what the professionals would have you believe is the only treatment. It means agreeing with the self-diagnosis of a child without question, ignoring any explanatory factors such as autism and it involves fast tracking ROGD teenagers onto the path of hormones and surgery. For more reading on this check out the Interim Cass report. Watchful waiting is what responsible therapists advocate but this entails remaining neutral on the question of whether your child is “really” trans. I think that watchful waiting is fine if your child is only flirting with the idea of being trans and if this phase is not destroying their lives and the lives of their families. My daughter was being destroyed in front of my eyes and her life had fallen apart. The impact on our family was devastating and we were only coping by isolating ourselves from the angry, miserable and hateful personality that had come to reside in our daughter’s body. She was planning on running away I found out later and the pressure from outside factors made it imperative that I acted decisively in order to save her. I will take you back to how it began but the story will be familiar to many of you.
Sinead has severe attention deficit disorder and attends the local CAMHs for a prescription for Ritalin. She is also on the Autistic spectrum. When she was 11, she experienced a number of sexual assaults by a friend. Her best friend introduced her to the concept of gender and from the age of twelve all the girls in her circle were either non-binary or trans of one flavour or another. I believe that all these factors made her susceptible to the gender cult. She also happens to be a lesbian but, in her case, I don’t think that this was a major contributing factor. Not in the way that it was for her best friend who is a butch lesbian and is full of self-loathing, internalised homophobia and misogyny.
The first sign that there was something very wrong was when Sinead was 12 and she became unhappy, withdrawn and angry seemingly overnight. She came out as non-binary and then trans when she was thirteen and a half after first self-diagnosing with everything from BPD (borderline personality disorder) to DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder). She was self-harming and had lost all interest in schoolwork or family life. Covid didn’t help and the lockdowns allowed her to spend hours on the internet when she was supposed to be doing online school. I found out later that influencers like Jammie Dodger and Noah Finnce were indoctrinating her into the trans cult and she was also talking to disturbed kids like herself on Discord. I had been turned into a jailor by Covid, checking on her to try and get her to do schoolwork and searching her room for blades to make sure she wasn’t cutting. She hated me because I would not agree with her that she was trans and she told me so many times. I hated her too by this point as I did not even recognise the person she had become.
When she did voluntarily talk to me it was to subject me to angry rants about how she had always been a boy and hated dresses etc. I was easily able to refute this invented back story and I never agreed with her that she was trans. However, because she really seemed to be going insane with stress all the family started to use her boy names when at home. I say names because she went through a few before settling on the final ridiculous one let’s call it Xavier. She called me transphobic and said that I didn’t know anything, and that last part was true. I was strangely reluctant to do any research and I think I only know why now. Firstly, I was afraid that researching it would make the nightmare real and I was full of horror at what was happening to our once happy family. Secondly, I was afraid that the research would tell me that she was indeed trans and there was nothing I could do about it.
Things came to a head after a series of meetings with CAMHs about her autism. Pressure was put on myself and my husband to affirm Sinead in her new identity and her medical records were changed to her new name without our permission. I also felt threatened that if I did not comply that I would be labelled as abusive. I felt that CAMHs were only waiting for an excuse to make life very difficult for our family if we did not affirm. But the psychologists pushed too hard and alarmed me into finally getting on the internet and doing some research.
One of the first things I came across was Lisa Littman’s research paper which documents the phenomenon of social contagion among teenage girls with trans identities, followed by the document prepared by the law firm Dentons which reads like a handbook for how to roll out this new religion across Europe. I then ordered Abigail Schrier’s book Irreversible Damage on Amazon. Within a few hours I realised that I was looking at a cult. Sinead pretty much ticked every box for risk factors. The sexual abuse I think was the biggest factor and I had just found out about this at the last meeting with CAMHs.
I’m not sure that I realised the reality about gender identity at that time, but I suppose that I never really believed the trans thing in the first place. I had some vague notion that trans peoples’ brains were different and of course I was slightly brainwashed by all the one-sided stories in the media. But on the other side I had been witnessing the carry-on of my daughter’s group of friends with all the talk of trans and demi-boys, agender, ace, non-binary and so on. It looked to me like a silly teenage phase, and I was hoping they would grow out of it. I was more concerned about the self-harm, the autism, the anxiety and Sinead’s obvious mental distress.
Gender Ideology is a Cult
So how did I realise so quickly that gender ideology was a cult? It just happened to be an area of interest for me, and I had an old paperback on my shelves about cults with a chapter on deprogramming which I had read with particular interest. Cults are funny things. They all hate and fear other cults and ideologies, but they all have certain traits in common. Sinead had been indoctrinated by the internet and to a lesser degree her peers. Gender ideology now pulled the strings. She was simply a puppet doing as she was told and nothing and no one was going to help her as had been made very clear to me by the appalling moronic behaviour of the CAMHs professionals (and later by my GP and the psychologists at the autism assessment).
Most people jump to the fact that there is no leader in gender ideology and no obvious money motive so how can it be a cult? But they are missing the point. The thing that makes a cult a cult is the level of control over a person. A properly brainwashed person has no free will. Take an ROGD kid. They are controlled by fear. Fear of the transphobic world where they are told trans people are killed and abused every day. Fear of themselves where they are told that they are at high risk of suicide and if they delay transition in any way, they are going to kill themselves. They also fear rejection from their peers if they say anything “transphobic”. They are taught to fear their parents who are transphobic, old fashioned and unsafe and they are discouraged from having any interaction with them. A trans kid is coached online and told what to say, what clothes to wear, how to behave and speak. A whole new language is used by insiders and language is distorted to fit the new meanings of the trans community.
Another thing about cults is how they control how a cult member thinks. Critical thinking is forbidden and thought-terminating cliches like “Transwomen are Women” are used to bring the thinking back on track. Any doubt or contradictions are strictly prohibited and labeled as “internalised transphobia”. The kids are told that if they are wondering if they are trans then of course they are trans because ‘cis’ people do not have these thoughts.
Kids are encouraged to ruminate endlessly about their gender identities and their dysphoria in much the same way that prayer or meditation acts in other cults to shut down critical thinking. They are forbidden from listening or watching anything “transphobic”. For example, they will be told that JK Rowling hates them and wants them dead, but they will never actually read what she wrote. Instead, they will rely on approved articles that explain why she is so transphobic. You can research this further yourself and I think that a very good analysis and comparison to Scientology is given by Arty Morty.
I am going to be recommending Arty Morty’s YouTubes many times because he is excellent at analysing and explaining gender ideology in a concise way. You can save a lot of time by watching his videos and taking notes which will come in handy later.
Deprogramming your ROGD teen: Part 2
It was unthinkable to me that Sinead was ‘trans’. A parent’s first rule in life is to protect their child and that means that the thought of someone slicing off pieces of her healthy body and destroying her health with hormones sickened me. I would sooner volunteer that I sacrifice bits of myself than that she would do this to herself. Soon after Sinead announced that she was trans she started pestering me for a binder and she had a list of medical steps she was planning to take starting with puberty blockers, testosterone, double mastectomy, and she even planned on metoidioplasty.
I googled the side effects of binders. Constant pain, breathing difficulties and skin irritation were all listed, all unacceptable to me. I later learned that rib deformities and fractures, breast tissue damage, skin stretching, nipple displacement and possible organ damage are all equally likely. I know that this is true because one of her old friends has respiratory problems and a permanently deformed rib cage from wearing a binder. I have seen pictures of severely deformed breasts after years of wearing a binder.
The solution to these issues is to get “top surgery” as quickly as possible.
Puberty blockers were familiar to me as I had a friend who took them as part of IVF treatment. I was under no illusion that they could be reversible or a “pause button”. They are powerful, dangerous drugs and I would never dream of giving them to a developing child for a non-medical, unnecessary reason. Here is a short summary of the history of puberty blocker use in children who claim to be trans.
Although I did not know it at the time 98% of children who were put on puberty blockers at the Tavistock clinic in the UK went on to take cross-sex hormones. Rather than a pause button, puberty blockers but are more akin to a springboard into the deep end of full-medical transition. If they are taken as recommended when puberty starts and followed by cross-sex hormones the child will be infertile and their sex organs will never mature and grow.
In terms of general health, growing bones need sex hormones in order to become strong so brittle bones are a real risk. Brain development is stunted. Another side effect is depression, ironic considering the reason given for prescribing puberty blockers in the first place is to often to prevent suicide.
I knew about testosterone under the old-fashioned label of steroids which medical professionals are quick to condemn when it comes to athletes. However, now it seemed to be ok to give it to teenage girls off-label with no medical studies as to its safety or effectiveness. After an average of three months, a girl’s voice will be permanently coarsened and body hair will have started growing. There will be cosmetic changes like fat redistribution and muscle gain, but the real damage is taking place internally. After around four years the changes to the uterus make cancer likely and a hysterectomy is recommended. If this is accompanied by an oophorectomy (removal of the ovaries) then no more oestrogen will be produced. The girl will be dependent for life on external hormones and will be immediately menopausal. There are many more side effects including changes to the heart and taken together, these changes considerably shorten expected lifespan.
Finally, the surgeries. And who better to talk you through them than the patients themselves? TT Exulansic on Odysee shows ‘progress videos’ of these young girls, providing her own expert commentary. I find it hard to talk about them. I can’t watch them for long before I feel my heart constrict with what might have been.
You will not go far on the internet when you start researching top surgery before you come across Dr. Dr Sidhbh Gallagher, the surgeon of choice for very young girls. You can view photos and videos of the results. Row upon row of innocent young faces all smiling into the camera with a thick angry line across their chests where their breasts should be. I imagine that we are supposed to be seeing trans joy but all I see are the self-harm scars along their arms and in one video I could see the girl’s little hand trembling violently. Was it pain, shock or horror at what she had done to herself? She was only thirteen.
TT Exulansic describes brilliantly the religious nature of these gruesome operations. They are rites of passage into the trans cult and recruits are encouraged to progress through these operations to demonstrate their worthiness and their “true” transness. Suffering is celebrated and expected. When it comes to bottom surgery, even the archdeacon of the church of trans, Jammie Dodger, was traumatised by the brutality. She nearly died from a haemorrhage but then when it comes to bottom surgery for girls, nearly dying is par for the course. If they pull through, they can look forward to a life of pain and incontinence. Urinary tract infections will become a part of life and regular doses of antibiotics will wreak even more havoc on bodies already ravaged by hormones . It is no surprise that suicide rates for post operative transexuals has been measured in Sweden as 19 times higher than the general population.
This is what parents are afraid of. The complete destruction of the healthy body of their child. When they try to articulate their fears, they are met with incomprehension and gaslighting by professionals. I say professionals here to include all the medical professionals who push affirmation, affirming teachers, LGBT clubs and trans allies of any sort. They all have blood on their hands.
Now, what do professionals believe? I can only say what was said to me and what I have heard said by trans allies and trans charities and it is always the same. They basically believe that we all have a gender identity and that only the child knows their own identity. I was told that there was a medical consensus represented by WPATH that demanded affirmation. Being trans was reeled off in the same breath as being gay as if they were remotely analogous. They really did not seem to think that there was something monstrous about having a secret identity that demanded the total subjugation of a physically healthy body to become an unhealthy simulacrum of the opposite sex. My feeling is that they believe that they are saving the trans child by providing the understanding and support that they are not getting from their ignorant parents. They do not regard the medical side of things with the same horror and fear because it is not their child. They feel like they are demonstrating how liberal and progressive they are, and they do this at no personal cost. Society is telling them that they are heroes for rescuing trans children and defeating their abusive parents or forcing them to comply and affirm.
You have to understand that they are listening to a child who is thoroughly indoctrinated in the cult and has been coached online on what to say. So, the professionals are also being played, even as they are playing the parents. I do not forgive or excuse them, however. How many years of training does it take to become a psychologist or a psychiatrist? And yet they can’t recognise when a child is indoctrinated. They do not think that it is strange that all the trans kids say the same thing and make the exact same demands and threats.
But the really strange part is the way that professionals seem to be able to mentally block out the reality of the medical process of transition. I think that they must be indoctrinated as there is some sort of mental short circuit going on there in the same way that trans kids do not seem to notice or question the quite glaring contradictions of gender ideology.
Every time I brought up the drugs and surgery angle, I was assured that it was still far too early to talk about such things. But there was a consistency and preparedness to the response which in hindsight I feel was acting like a thought-terminating cliché.
One final observation here. I am talking mainly about medical professionals because that was my main contact but what about co-morbidities? They knew about Sinead’s severe ADD and her autism. Her self-harm was getting worse, not better the more she took on the trans identity. And finally, the sexual abuse. Knowing about that, how could they, as trained professionals, not make a connection to her repudiating her body and her wish to deny her past existence as a girl?
When my husband and I learned about the sexual abuse it made total sense to us that Sinead hated her body and wanted to change it. Again, the only answer I can come up with is that the professionals have been indoctrinated or groomed. Once they hear the magic word trans they react like Pavlov’s dog and there is only one possible outcome from then on. Check out the Cass report again on this. It describes the phenomenon perfectly although Dr. Cass does not go so far as to suggest that they have been indoctrinated. She assumes that they are still capable of independent thought. But if that is so, then the only remaining explanation for their eagerness to feed vulnerable children into the trans mutilation factory is that they are either stupid or evil.
Deprogramming Your ROGD Teen: Part 3, The steps
This then was the situation that I faced. I had a daughter who was in a cult and was demanding that she be allowed to permanently damage her health and irrevocably alter her appearance. And the very people who should have been protecting Sinead and trying to help her had betrayed my trust in the most appalling way possible. Clearly, there was no one coming to the rescue. We were on our own. When I realised I was dealing with a cult I was strangely relieved as finally I understood what was going on. And how to fix it.
Here’s how I went about it.
Step One: Preparation and research
So, what exactly is deprogramming? It is simply removing the programming that your kid has received and allowing them to think for themselves. All you are doing is talking to your teen and telling them or showing them the truth about gender ideology. Or should I say, exposing the lies that they’ve been told. So firstly, you need to research gender ideology in order to understand exactly what your teen believes. This stage took me two weeks.
Every evening I spent hours late into the night researching gender ideology. I had to understand all the arguments that Sinead had been taught and how to refute them. You must have all arguments covered because you don’t know what has made the most impact on your ROGD teen. It’s like sitting an exam and revising everything because you don’t know what will come up. I also recommend joining a discussion site like Discord to hone your arguments. You need to take on a few TRAs and be confident in your arguments. You must be able to refute whatever your ROGD teen throws at you in a calm and confident manner. Your teenager may come across as an expert in all things trans, but they are no match for an adult who has done their research. As with all cults, gender ideology is completely illogical and absurd and you just need to point this out. We might laugh at the notion in Scientology that there are aliens inhabiting us and directing our actions but similar magical beliefs power the gender movement; The notion that men can become women just by imagining that they are, the notion that we all have a “gender identity” which can be “born into the wrong body”. Channel your inner skeptic and don’t give an inch of ground. There is no place for “be kind”, wishy-washy, half-beliefs. Steel yourself, and trust to the science.
Step Two: Modify your Parenting Style
Many parents these days are afraid of their teenage children. We have become so used to experts telling us how to parent that I think it has made us distrust out instincts. At the same time parents are undermined in every contact they have with authority from being addressed as “Mum” by the local GP to condescending teachers, journalists, and even public representatives. Maybe this is why so many parents are tiptoeing around their teenagers so as not to incur their disapproval. When things go off the rails with an ROGD teen and you have absolutely no control over them, start by having a look at your parenting style. You need to be respected and have authority before you can even think about deprogramming, and this means an authoritative style of parenting. You should be strict about rules and boundaries while still being approachable and kind. Think Uncle Buck or Nanny McPhee. Don’t confuse this with an authoritarian style which will get you nowhere with a rebellious teenager. My parenting style became more authoritative once I realised what was happening with Sinead and I shed the last ounce of respect that I had for the “experts” in CAMHs. If you are reading this, then you have already proved yourselves better parents and experts in your own children’s welfare than any therapist. Trust yourselves and the lifetime of experience you have and don’t blame yourselves. How could any parent be prepared for a cult that recruits our teenage children through the internet, social contagion and via trusted adults such as teachers and doctors? Secondly, were any of us prepared for the impact of the internet and social media on society and our teenagers? I have been to internet safety sessions organised by my kids’ schools and the people who gave those talks were clueless. Half the time was spent talking about the dangers of Grand Theft Auto and the rest about bullying on WhatsApp and Snapchat. This is an adult’s view of what kids are up to. What they are actually looking at is far, far worse.
Step Three: Turn off the Poison Tap
Teenagers are sneaky and parental controls over internet access are so weak I wonder if this is on purpose. Parents have no idea what their kids are looking at on the Internet and if they did, they probably wouldn’t understand it. Much depends on the mental stability of your teenager that prevents them tumbling down one of the many rabbit holes that are waiting for them such as porn, gender ideology, perverse anime etc. A teenager that has any problem—from lack of friends and struggling in school, all the way to having suffered trauma or some mental condition like Autism—is at risk.
Parents are intimidated by the brave new world of the Internet and the new language of diversity, inclusion and social justice. They want to be liked and so make the mistake of trying to be their teenager’s friend. Some even allow themselves to be “educated” by their teenager. I think that laziness or being too busy also comes into it. You need to take the time and get familiar with technology. It is very difficult and time-consuming to block access to each and every App and doing this centrally does not work in my experience. My husband spent a good day locking down access to all Sinead’s favourite sites. First, you need to find out what Apps your teen is on and then block them all individually leaving only the bare minimum needed for school. Firstly, get passwords to all devices and then see what Apps they are on. Delete them all apart from school Apps. Then lock down centrally with parental controls all Apps you know about and any others you can think of. Do not leave any App where live chats can take place with strangers (like Pony Town or Roblox.) Put blocks on internet access on the family computer, both time blocks and word searches. You need to become more of an expert on technology and social media and more of an expert on gender than your teen. And you must be vigilant in knowing what your teen is doing at all times. I did not let Sinead out of my sight for months apart from school.
Step Four: Repair your Relationship with your ROGD teen
If you were in my situation this would have seemed impossible. Sinead hated me and saw me as the enemy because the cult had taught her to distrust and hate outsiders, particularly parents. I felt that I had lost all my power as a parent. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you have a good relationship with your own ROGD teen. You only find out what they really think of you when you defy their wishes. See how much they respect and like you when you misgender and deadname them and cut off their internet access. They have been programmed to distrust all ‘cis’ people, even the allies. Be prepared for how much time and effort this is going to take.
A parent is best placed to deprogram their child because a professional could be accused of conversion therapy, and they simply don’t spend enough time with the child to do it. Secondly, a kid wants to like and respect their parents. It is a basic and fundamental need. Even if they act like they hate you, deep down they want a parent they can rely on and respect. They don’t want the responsibility of making big decisions and they need boundaries. What you are doing here is just building enough goodwill and trust so that they will listen to you and engage in discussions.
I am in the fortunate position that I only work part-time, and I have complete flexibility so I was able to drop everything and put Sinead’s rehabilitation first. Families where both parents work full time are going to struggle with saving their child because it is not something that can be achieved in a few weeks. Although the deprogramming itself is relatively quick it can take a year or even longer to rehabilitate your teen.
As a family, we immediately stopped using the trans name and went back to Sinead’s real name. The pronouns had only just started but they too stopped. The constant stream of communication and indoctrination from the internet was switched off. The silly fake trans personality of Xavier must have still been there but I no longer noticed. I spoke to Sinead or what was left of her. She was a broken person and seemed completely worn out by the constant monstrous demands of the cult. I did not hold her responsible for the actions of the trans personality, but I spent hours with her talking with sympathy about what she had been through. She seemed grateful for every cup of tea and every kind word. I never talked about gender but only about things that were relevant to Sinead. I would have expected her to be furious about the new rules, but she seemed resigned and maybe even a bit relieved that someone else was now making the decisions. Just a warning in case you have not fully understood the previous steps. Do not make the mistake of being kind to the trans personality or relaxing the rules in any way. The trans personality has gone nowhere and is not to be trusted.
Step Five: Deprogramming
I was very scared about making the situation worse but felt that I was ready to start the deprogramming. I had to be very careful initially not to alert the trans personality what was about to happen. I started by asking Sinead to watch a video called Trans kids: It’s Time to Talk presented by Stella O’Malley. Sinead put up a bit of resistance, but I had put enough work into the relationship, so she agreed. I think that she might have been a tiny bit curious, and ‘Xavier’ thought that his faith was strong enough to withstand the blasphemous film. I lurked outside to make sure the video was running, and that she was listening.
She came downstairs and said that maybe, just maybe she wasn’t trans. Not much, but I felt that a small chink of doubt had been formed. The following day my husband went away for the weekend, and I brought out my copy of Abigail Shrier’s Irreversible Damage. I had underlined what I thought were particularly good points. I would tell Sinead that I had read something interesting and what did she think in order to draw her into a discussion. It was a scattergun approach, and I would try one topic after another.
Every ROGD kid will have their own topic that causes them some doubt or concern. With Sinead, it seemed to be the gruesome surgeries and the awful side effects of cross-sex hormones and puberty blockers. She had been unaware of this as the influencers and all the LGBT websites gloss over these aspects. You must ask questions and force your teen to use critical thinking. Do not use the cult language and they will be forced to explain their understanding in plain language. Often this is enough to demonstrate the irrationality and incoherence of the ideology.
The mantra “Transwomen are women” took about an hour to demolish. But what really helped her to wake up was me telling her firmly that she wasn’t trans. No white lies about true trans. Stick to reality and science. Trans people do not have different brains, or hormones or genes. There is nothing that distinguishes a trans person physically. It is a mental disorder, a delusion. As Arty Morty would say “Trans is something you do, not something you are”. I also told her that gender was a cult, and she had no problems at all in believing this. In fact, she fell over herself giving me examples of cult behaviour.
Sinead would slip in and out of the belief that she was trans for a couple of months, but the hard work was done in the initial three weeks. When she was with me, and I was hammering away at her trans beliefs she would be nearly convinced but then all her friends were still fully signed up members of the trans church. That initial weekend we spent about six hours at it and the following couple of weeks we would spend one or two hours a day talking and watching videos. We fell into a routine of watching Exulansic who combines brutal reality with sarcastic humour. Her series on Jazz Jennings was a highlight and Skirt go Spinny and The State also did some very memorable and hard hitting YouTubes. I subscribed to Glinner and watched the Mess and generally became obsessed with all things trans. Sinead wanted to talk about gender ideology and she needed to do so for months. After the first few times, I rarely needed to do more than suggest we watch an Exulansic or a Mr Menno or something funny (and gender ideology can be pretty funny). I will put a list of videos that were entertaining and effective below. Teenagers have a short attention span so don’t waste it by showing them written reports or boring podcasts.
Step Six: The following year
I didn’t put any pressure on her to change her boy’s haircut or clothes or her friends. I knew that her friends still thought that she was trans and I think that it was embarrassment that prevented her from coming clean. About three months after the initial deprogramming Sinead asked me to phone her friends and ask them to stop using he/him and calling her Xavier. I could tell that they were startled by getting a call from the transphobic abusive monster Sinead had told them all about but in any case, by the end of the year all but one friend was gone. I see the old friends around still and they are all getting more and more entrenched into the trans world. One ex friend deserves a special mention. She is the most dangerous trans ally of all, an active recruiter. She calls herself non-binary but makes absolutely no effort to present as anything other than sexy anime girl. However, she collects all the lost lesbians she can and persuades them that they are trans. She has the most success with the ones who are also autistic.
Deprogramming someone is initially a quick process, but you can’t leave them alone or they will slip back into their familiar trans world. Sinead had been trans for nearly three years and had come to depend on that world for support, friends, an answer to her problems and a worldview. It is profoundly shocking for a young person to emerge from that safety and realise that it is all lies. Not only did she have to deal with the real world without her trans safety blanket but now she also had to deal with the real problems that she had avoided for three years. Her autism, the sexual abuse she had suffered and her ADD. Your teenager is very vulnerable in the weeks after deprogramming. Try and get them into a healthy routine again with plenty of sleep because the trans cults teaches kids to neglect their needs. Getting outside to nature is very good for perspective and healing. As Sinead’s hair grew and she started to change her clothes, her dysphoria also disappeared. It was obvious that it was trans ideology that gave her dysphoria and not the other way around.
One thing you need to watch out for is floating. This is where the deprogrammed person is triggered by something in their environment, and they feel like they are back in their trans reality. It is supposed to be a very jarring and frightening experience and takes about a year to stop happening. I helped to reassure Sinead when this happened, and we would watch a YouTube or talk about the latest gender nonsense in the news, and she would snap out of it. In fact, the book I read said that it takes about a year to recover from being in a cult and I would agree with this. It takes a long time for critical thinking to be re-established. When you take someone out of a cult you leave them to figure out their understanding of the world themselves. If you were doing conversion therapy, you would be replacing trans ideology with another ideology, but deprogramming just means revealing gender to be the bunch of lies and nonsense that it is. You must be patient and not expect that they will be able to just snap back into real life.
You need to spend a lot of time with your ROGD teen. They are going to lose most of their friends if their friends are caught up in the ideology. You have to keep talking about gender until every last lie has been uncovered and destroyed. And then you have to talk about everything else. You must catch up on years of normal growth and development. And get to know the real person who was hidden for so long in their nightmare trans prison. Even silly things like catching up on what other girls are wearing and interested in. If you have been a transman for that long, you have missed out on a lot of normal activity.
Final words of advice
I hope that this account helps other parents. More even than ROGD teens I feel sorry for their parents because I’ve been there, and I know the rage, panic and fear. I haven’t gone into how having an ROGD teenager is so damaging to a family, to other siblings and to the parents’ relationship but if you are living through it I’m sure that you are no stranger to the stress.
One last thing and this is very important. Parents must share a common approach in dealing with their trans teenager. When they are trans they cannot be trusted. They will try to turn one parent against the other if it gives them an advantage. The trans personality will lie, steal and cheat in order to keep control of your teen much like an alcoholic will do anything to maintain their habit. I told my husband what I planned to do, and he gave me free rein and supported me. Without that, it wouldn’t have had a hope of working.
I know that I did the right thing because Sinead told me so. She has thanked me many times and although I was only doing my duty and it was a pleasure to do it, it is still nice to know that she is grateful. I know that I did the right thing because she is happy again. Without even intending it I am now very good friends with Sinead (while still being the parent). I really enjoy her company and I am so grateful that I am getting the opportunity to get to know her again.
Resources for you:
Buy Abigail Shrier’s book Irreversible Damage and Helen Joyce’s book Trans. Underline and take notes. You can use Abigail’s book for your teen as well.
You will be faced with 3 big lies about Gender Ideology. Here they are and here is how to refute them. I think that Arty Morty does a great job of explaining clearly the issues.
In fact, check out all of Arty’s videos and take notes that you will need for arguments later. Transgender Trend, Genspect and Bayswater Support also have great resources.
You may also need to refute the common myth that trans brains and cis brains are somehow different. They are not, although you will struggle to find that clear answer in all the Trans activist rubbish on the internet. Here is a simple and clear analysis.
For your Teen:
I think that Stella O’Malley’s film is a good place to start the gentle questioning.
Exulansic is brilliant. She keeps getting banned on YouTube so you can also find her videos on Odysee. Her series on Jazz Jennings is entertaining and light but also check out the videos on surgeries and side effects of puberty blockers and hormones.
Isaac also does a couple of hard hitting YouTubes. The one where he rings up his therapist is just shocking.
Skirt go Spinny are great but these two, in particular, are worth checking out
The State Media are good too. I found that pointing out that Trans is a cult really helped.
Seeing the funny side is good and there are plenty of funny things about gender. My favourite are these two songs:
I think that’s everything I have on this. I hope it helps. All that’s left for me to say is good luck to you and your daughter. There is a way through this.