My otherwise friendly, mature, smart daughter got into this cult very close to her 18th birthday. She has a lot of supporters who have demonized us. We have lost contact and are helpless. We love her and would do anything for her.She does not want us. Her “friends” have made her think and digest a lot of crap. It’s very unfortunate and we are praying for her safety and well-being. But the steps enlisted would not have helped us as she had a strong support backing her up and any resistance from us would have pushed her away earlier.
I want to do this with my son, but am scared. He is not outwardly transitioned, but we have found notebooks that says he wants to do this. How do you join a site like Discord so I can do my research?
Amazing - thank you for this enormous amount of information. I hope many children can be rescued and saved before the physical harm begins, as clearly the mental and emotional harm starts first with the whole concept. I am very concerned about my nephew who left home, is using a new name and she/her pronouns because his high school teachers supported this absurdity. He was groomed and taught to believe that his parents were harming him because they would not use his new name or pronouns. I am angry with the people in authority (doctors and therapists, too) who are poisoning our children against us. Watching what my sister and brother-in-law are going through - the unknown, their fear and worry that they might not see their beloved son every again - is devastating. One thing is for certain: this trans-ideology movement is a dangerous CULT. I am not giving up hope! The tide is turning!
With the exception of autism and ADD, your description of your daughter was exactly the same as ours. Unfortunately, we weren’t informed by our daughter until much too late and she has since moved away and recently started testosterone and had top surgery. She says she’s happy and doing well, but we are waiting and praying for the inevitable regret, crash, health problems, and hopefully, return. She knows we don’t support her lifestyle, but love and support her, and will always be there for her. At this point, we are just trying to be available to offer ourselves to others going through the same issues. Your article will certainly help us in this. Thank you.
Thank you so much for sharing! I appreciate all your hard work and research and I am very happy for you and your family! Its harder for me because mine is now a young adult. I will try to use some of your ideas. Hopefully, your knowledge will help many parents with children and teens still at home.
I seem to be on my own in this, having read all the other comments. I do find the title of this article particularly irritating, smug and kind of arrogant. What works for one won’t necessarily work for another and all children and experiences are different. By all means share useful advice about what has worked in one person’s experience but to publish it as a “How To” suggests that the author has answers rather than advice and is some kind of self-appointed guru because of a positive outcome in her own situation. We all want answers and a clear set of steps to resolve this insanity, but the certainty and promise of this title is too simplistic.
Georgie, we did almost the exact same thing and our son is desisted and critically thinking. I agree with everything this author has suggested and it is terrific advice to pull what works for you and what doesn't. We are in a world where we need to deprogram many of our children from many things. It is so incredibly damaging to our society. We believe everything that is thrown at us as truth because it comes from certain studies, or agencies and we are being duped in this country on many issues and I now question EVERYTHING.
I haven’t disagreed with anything you’ve said. Of course this is important and of course it is damaging. If you don’t see the point I was making then I’ll leave it.
Yes, I probably misunderstood. This whole mess is a huge assault on parents and I just hope we can save as many kids as possible by whatever means that knocks some sense into them. I think the author shared her story as an account as well, which is helpful to others and to them and to our society to hear these stories and all that parents have to go through against this wave of indoctrination. I wish you the best in dealing with this and I for one am going to stay diligent because you are correct, there is no one way of how to get them out of this cult forever.
George, I think you are taking the title too literally. Most people understand there is no one-size-fits-all solution. I took the article for what it is - helpful advice to pick and choose from, not an IKEA step-by-step manual on how to put your kid back together. It's not like she is offering a 30 day money back guarantee. It didn't read as smug to me at all and I am pretty cranky and easily annoyed by nature :)
Hi Moominmamma, you may be right and my issue was with the title rather than the contents of the article. I do think the title is clumsy and unhelpful though. If it was intended as a series of lessons learned from her own experience, then present it as such. A big part of this journey as a parent is learning not to blame ourselves. The title puts undue pressure on parents with its promise of sure-fire ways to sort this out single-handedly. I know I’m (over) reacting strongly, but if it’s a list of tips and advice, (which might help or might not in each our unique circumstances), then call it that.
Hi - I agree with you in that there is some terrific advice, but also some things presented in what seems a judgemental manner that simply won't work. Requiring all parents to adopt an "authoritarian" style and delete all apps for a 17 year old who has completed college apps, had a full time job in the summer, etc ... just simply is not realistic. As a family who did have very restrictive internet rules before the pandemic, I can tell you that there was significant backlash, and then of course the horse left the barn during remote learning. I have found detransitioner Helena's "Just Do X" post helpful - including the highlight that there really is no one size fits all parental response that works. https://lacroicsz.substack.com/p/is-it-really-so-simple-as-taking
It's hard not to overreact. This is so emotional for all of us. No title or essay can put more pressure on me than I put on myself. I try not to feel guilty but it is hard. Best of luck to you!
I gotta say I kinda agree with you. There is so much good info and suggestions here but to assume this is the universal instruction manual on how to reprogram your teen is a bit overreaching. This will absolutely not work for everyone. But very good advice to try.
Glad the deprogramming worked for you - but I would guess that most parents who push back against this nonsense won’t be as lucky. There are far too many outside influences. Once the child turns 18 parental influence diminishes even further.
Our own daughter, raised in a stable loving home, has been out of contact for a year now. We pushed back against the cult to no avail. One thing you are right about though - parents must be parents to their kids. We know we are on the right side of truth and reality- we are unfortunately just going to have to wait for the inevitable consequences of this mutilation cult to play out.
well done , fantastic outcome. Thank you sharing. There are no professionals that want to help us the parents.
If only I could have had that result. I refused to affirm by daughter, explained the dangers of transition & how she had never wanted anything male orientated ( refused brothers hand me downs as a child) so she ran away from home at 17 because we wern't excepting. The most terrifying time of my life I had no idea where she was for over 3 weeks. Never thought she had it in her to do such a thing !!!! living back home now at 19 but I feel blackmailed that if I try to degrogram she'll leave and cut me out of her life. I spent hours trying to block internet sites etc a few years back but gave up, she had a part time job, a second phone she thought I didn't know about wifi password at friends houses, shopping malls etc. How did my sweet little girl become so manipulative. And yes, I know all about the realtionship issues caused between partners, siblings etc.. But I am genuinely pleased that you have manged to escape the nightmare x
Outstanding article/advice. Thank you! I will be sharing it
Here’s what parents must do to end the cult of gender ideology. Here is how the public can cut off government funding!
Great piece. This should be published far and wide. I hope you're pitching it!
My otherwise friendly, mature, smart daughter got into this cult very close to her 18th birthday. She has a lot of supporters who have demonized us. We have lost contact and are helpless. We love her and would do anything for her.She does not want us. Her “friends” have made her think and digest a lot of crap. It’s very unfortunate and we are praying for her safety and well-being. But the steps enlisted would not have helped us as she had a strong support backing her up and any resistance from us would have pushed her away earlier.
I want to do this with my son, but am scared. He is not outwardly transitioned, but we have found notebooks that says he wants to do this. How do you join a site like Discord so I can do my research?
Amazing - thank you for this enormous amount of information. I hope many children can be rescued and saved before the physical harm begins, as clearly the mental and emotional harm starts first with the whole concept. I am very concerned about my nephew who left home, is using a new name and she/her pronouns because his high school teachers supported this absurdity. He was groomed and taught to believe that his parents were harming him because they would not use his new name or pronouns. I am angry with the people in authority (doctors and therapists, too) who are poisoning our children against us. Watching what my sister and brother-in-law are going through - the unknown, their fear and worry that they might not see their beloved son every again - is devastating. One thing is for certain: this trans-ideology movement is a dangerous CULT. I am not giving up hope! The tide is turning!
What scares me is that we may be less than 5 years away from this being illegal everywhere. It already is in some American states.
wow! bravo! thanks!
With the exception of autism and ADD, your description of your daughter was exactly the same as ours. Unfortunately, we weren’t informed by our daughter until much too late and she has since moved away and recently started testosterone and had top surgery. She says she’s happy and doing well, but we are waiting and praying for the inevitable regret, crash, health problems, and hopefully, return. She knows we don’t support her lifestyle, but love and support her, and will always be there for her. At this point, we are just trying to be available to offer ourselves to others going through the same issues. Your article will certainly help us in this. Thank you.
This is excellent especially part 3
Thank you. For inspiring me to keep up the fight.
Thank you so much for sharing! I appreciate all your hard work and research and I am very happy for you and your family! Its harder for me because mine is now a young adult. I will try to use some of your ideas. Hopefully, your knowledge will help many parents with children and teens still at home.
I seem to be on my own in this, having read all the other comments. I do find the title of this article particularly irritating, smug and kind of arrogant. What works for one won’t necessarily work for another and all children and experiences are different. By all means share useful advice about what has worked in one person’s experience but to publish it as a “How To” suggests that the author has answers rather than advice and is some kind of self-appointed guru because of a positive outcome in her own situation. We all want answers and a clear set of steps to resolve this insanity, but the certainty and promise of this title is too simplistic.
Georgie, we did almost the exact same thing and our son is desisted and critically thinking. I agree with everything this author has suggested and it is terrific advice to pull what works for you and what doesn't. We are in a world where we need to deprogram many of our children from many things. It is so incredibly damaging to our society. We believe everything that is thrown at us as truth because it comes from certain studies, or agencies and we are being duped in this country on many issues and I now question EVERYTHING.
I haven’t disagreed with anything you’ve said. Of course this is important and of course it is damaging. If you don’t see the point I was making then I’ll leave it.
Yes, I probably misunderstood. This whole mess is a huge assault on parents and I just hope we can save as many kids as possible by whatever means that knocks some sense into them. I think the author shared her story as an account as well, which is helpful to others and to them and to our society to hear these stories and all that parents have to go through against this wave of indoctrination. I wish you the best in dealing with this and I for one am going to stay diligent because you are correct, there is no one way of how to get them out of this cult forever.
George, I think you are taking the title too literally. Most people understand there is no one-size-fits-all solution. I took the article for what it is - helpful advice to pick and choose from, not an IKEA step-by-step manual on how to put your kid back together. It's not like she is offering a 30 day money back guarantee. It didn't read as smug to me at all and I am pretty cranky and easily annoyed by nature :)
Hi Moominmamma, you may be right and my issue was with the title rather than the contents of the article. I do think the title is clumsy and unhelpful though. If it was intended as a series of lessons learned from her own experience, then present it as such. A big part of this journey as a parent is learning not to blame ourselves. The title puts undue pressure on parents with its promise of sure-fire ways to sort this out single-handedly. I know I’m (over) reacting strongly, but if it’s a list of tips and advice, (which might help or might not in each our unique circumstances), then call it that.
Hi - I agree with you in that there is some terrific advice, but also some things presented in what seems a judgemental manner that simply won't work. Requiring all parents to adopt an "authoritarian" style and delete all apps for a 17 year old who has completed college apps, had a full time job in the summer, etc ... just simply is not realistic. As a family who did have very restrictive internet rules before the pandemic, I can tell you that there was significant backlash, and then of course the horse left the barn during remote learning. I have found detransitioner Helena's "Just Do X" post helpful - including the highlight that there really is no one size fits all parental response that works. https://lacroicsz.substack.com/p/is-it-really-so-simple-as-taking
It's hard not to overreact. This is so emotional for all of us. No title or essay can put more pressure on me than I put on myself. I try not to feel guilty but it is hard. Best of luck to you!
I gotta say I kinda agree with you. There is so much good info and suggestions here but to assume this is the universal instruction manual on how to reprogram your teen is a bit overreaching. This will absolutely not work for everyone. But very good advice to try.
Glad the deprogramming worked for you - but I would guess that most parents who push back against this nonsense won’t be as lucky. There are far too many outside influences. Once the child turns 18 parental influence diminishes even further.
Our own daughter, raised in a stable loving home, has been out of contact for a year now. We pushed back against the cult to no avail. One thing you are right about though - parents must be parents to their kids. We know we are on the right side of truth and reality- we are unfortunately just going to have to wait for the inevitable consequences of this mutilation cult to play out.
You are a warrior queen. Well done, Mama. Well done.
well done , fantastic outcome. Thank you sharing. There are no professionals that want to help us the parents.
If only I could have had that result. I refused to affirm by daughter, explained the dangers of transition & how she had never wanted anything male orientated ( refused brothers hand me downs as a child) so she ran away from home at 17 because we wern't excepting. The most terrifying time of my life I had no idea where she was for over 3 weeks. Never thought she had it in her to do such a thing !!!! living back home now at 19 but I feel blackmailed that if I try to degrogram she'll leave and cut me out of her life. I spent hours trying to block internet sites etc a few years back but gave up, she had a part time job, a second phone she thought I didn't know about wifi password at friends houses, shopping malls etc. How did my sweet little girl become so manipulative. And yes, I know all about the realtionship issues caused between partners, siblings etc.. But I am genuinely pleased that you have manged to escape the nightmare x