I am not that Selfish
Last night a good friend told me she was looking for a job in another city. My immediate reaction was, “Don’t Move.” I quickly recovered and agreed that the new job was a good idea, she should go, and I wanted the best for her. This was also true. I have selfish reasons for wanting her to stay, but I love her enough to want the best for her.
I have had a lot of losses in the past three years. My ex-husband cut off contact when he remarried. A year later I told my younger son that men cannot become women and that the medical treatments he is seeking are dangerous. He stopped answering my calls and texts. A year later his brother cut off contact in solidarity. Two months ago, I lost my closest friend to a fast-moving cancer.
This morning I “wept a little weep.” I am so tired of losing people! I thought about getting my sons back. All I would have to do is text them and agree to go along with their demands. But I would be doing so for selfish reasons. I will not lie to my younger son, because I love him enough to want the best for him.
So many of us are struggling with this. My son thinks it’s my principles getting in the way of pretending he is a girl even though I explain over and over that I love him for who he is and wish he would do the same. So sorry for all your losses.
I can't lie to my daughter either. Siblings often become an ally to the trans identified. I reach out to each in a different way to keep contact even if each response is completely different or there is no response. I'm still putting out my message of love, which is good energy. Then I practice self-care to get through the holidays or times that remind me of what once was.
Those who think parents are hateful have no idea what they are talking about.
Kind regards to you and all hurting parents.