I have a problem: a desistor's manifesto
This is the first segment of an essay in six parts.
Desistance, for me, is coming to terms with the fact that I believed a lie that messed me up and figuring out where to go from here.
I stretched myself so far to comprehend what the hell happened to me that I nearly came emotionally dislocated.
Part of the recovery process is to deal with the overwhelming anger that takes over at times.
Writing, in an attempt to scream the truth to whomever will listen, has been both painful and cathartic, but definitely therapeutic.
I have a problem with the claims and demands of a movement I used to identify with and belong to.
When Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson was asked, during her nomination process to the US Supreme Court, to define what a woman is, she declined to answer, claiming that she was not a biologist. Putting aside the obnoxious callousness of her reply and the sad admission that she can't tell who she is, I have a problem with her answer because it implies the willful erasure of half of humanity for the sake of political correctness. Technically, what cannot be defined bears no legal recognition and therefore cannot be legally defended.
This being said, she was definitely right on one thing: the definition of a woman (and by extension a man) rests indeed in biology.
What biology tells us unequivocally is that our chromosomes, hormones, gonads, genitals...determine our sex, which influences every cell and every system in our body.
First, that determination is set long before birth, while still in the womb. I have a problem with junk science asserting that sex is assigned at birth. The only thing assigned at birth is our name.
The reason why a newborn's genitalia leads to a male or female determination is simply because its presence is the precursor of an avalanche of incoming dramatic biological changes that will result- if left undisturbed and undisrupted- in the unmistakable internal and external physical characteristics of an adult male or female.
These are self-evident truths that have gone unchallenged for centuries.
Some "experts" are trying to intellectually bamboozle us into buying neo-biological bullshit claims and expect people to abdicate logical reasoning and factual realities.
Second, that sex determination is binary. With the exception of a few rare abnormalities that confirm the rules, we are either male or female. And those two sexes are not only differentiated, they are also immutable.
What may differ is the gender expression of an individual. But it is just that: an expression.
The sex of an individual remains an unchangeable biological reality, regardless of unstable feelings or self-identification, and whether the birth sex is embraced or rejected.
It's not transphobia. It's basic biology.
Archeologists and forensic experts typically determine the sex by the morphology of the pelvis among other things.
Men and women are different. A preschooler can grasp that concept.
The rejection of one's sex is rooted in identity disorders that fall within an umbrella of mental health issues that affect one's self perception.
But reality is a bitch: it stands unchallenged.
A team of truth-telling medical professionals has launched a scientific, fact-filled resource that provides helpful information and even non-affirming counseling experts for kids struggling with trans feelings and identity issues. It's called the "Biological Integrity Website". A similar resource is the Gender Exploratory Therapist Association (GETA), a nonprofit organization that provides information and resources to families affected by gender dysphoria and the therapists who treat them. Also, BeyondTrans. All worth your while and encouraging that these resources are now available.
When it comes to gender expression, every society has traditional norms that reflect the cultural expectations in terms of sex based outward appearances.
There have always been individuals who crossed the gender barriers of their time and presented as the opposite sex. But unlike today, they knew they were not the opposite sex and didn't attempt to change their sex. That was not an option. When the "progresses of medical affirming care" came along, the trans dream of permanently modifying body features to "pass" as the other sex became possible and a nightmare was born.
Today, our society trips over itself to bend and cancel traditional gender norms and those have become stretched and intertwined in a gender-bender-blended fusion of some sort. In today's culture where the floating mantra is "you do you and I do me", a majority of parents would be reasonably comfortable, or at least make their peace, with their kids being "gender fluid".
What many parents oppose though, is the tragic alienation and permanent alteration of their kids' bodies and brains through damaging hormone therapies and irreversible surgeries. They fight back against the relentless war on their kids' minds, strongly suggesting alternative genders, pushing them to refuse reality and becoming part of an ideology that shatters the fabric of the family.
Naturally, I'm talking about sane parents, not those who harm their kids by affirmation and are complicit in the promotion of dangerous medical "protocols" out of a sick need for social accolades. Some suffer from Munchausen Syndrome by proxy and don't mind hurting their kids for the over-the-top attention they get. Regardless of the reason, and whether they're aware of it or totally oblivious, it's deeply toxic. I get goosebumps when I think of that mom on Serendipitydodah (blog of a Facebook group of moms of LGBTQ+ kids), lamenting that her daughter wanted out of "that trans stuff' and confessing that she kept putting cross sex hormones in her kid's breakfast despite her kid having expressed a clear desire for desistance. Mom didn't want to lose an entire community praising and cheering her up. The hell if her kid gets damaged for life in the process. That's criminal "parenting".
It’s the very definition of child abuse. A normal parent would be overjoyed to hear the kid wants out of the trans madness.
The Bible says that "we are made in God's image"(Gen.1:27;9:6). Some parents make their kid in their "image".
In March 2021, a shampoo advertisement focused on a trans-identified child. The handsome boy, son of a lesbian couple, was wearing girl's clothing and long hair. One mom explained how, one day, her then toddler was dressed as a girl and she "saw ‘her’ for the first time". Was he invisible before? No but mom liked what she saw: a girl and she started acting accordingly, that is playing dolls. This little boy had been "modified" to appear as a girl. A boy turned into the uncanny resemblance of his moms' image.
As expected, the boy regurgitated a clearly rehearsed speech about being his "true self". He was not his true self but a phony trade-in version of himself that had been imposed on him. He was just too young and too manipulated to realize.
I also remember the mom and son who had "switched genders" like you exchange clothes. The preteen boy had been changed into the spitting image of his mom. And mom had made herself his dad. Sick reality of our times. In his last biography, author Walter Isaacson explained how the trans kid of an uber famous overachiever, adopted not only his mom's last name but also a variation of her first name. Online pictures of this gender confused young man show him looking like a younger "twin sister" version of his mom. Once again, a son made in mom's image. Though I have no data or scientific explanation, this phenomenon is not a rare occurrence.
As expected, dad was completely ditched out of the picture despite his affirmation and acceptance of his kid's transness. Though underlying issues might have contributed to his transition, the dissociation from dad's gender and discarding of dad's name is clearly correlated to the perception of dad as the "villain" of the story, reminiscent of the common trans paradigm of "us", victimized, misunderstood and persecuted minority, against "them", society's "cisgender" top dogs who are "abusing" and "victimizing" others.
I'm not judging those moms. They have their shit and I have mine. But I do judge their actions and their lack of concern for the lasting negative effects of gender transition on their kids' health and fertility. I know wrong and detrimental when I see it. It's not an opinion, it's real-life experience.
I believe in the unalienable right of every person to live a meaningful and fulfilling life. And I believe in the right to choose your life, the life you want for yourself.
But what choice is left when your "persona" has been imposed upon you as a child? What choice is really yours when you have been brainwashed into self-annihilation?
In the name of "being freed from your wrong body" crap, kids end up living a life by proxy, becoming someone they are not, dissociated from reality and medically dependent for life. Walt Heyer (check his website: SexChangeRegret.com) spent eight years as a woman and like many, never found his peace.
Blindly affirming gender confusion and pushing gender reassignment are toxic parental behaviors, a medical mistake and a crime against a generation.
It needs to be sternly condemned and outlawed.
A societal shift must happen to make transitioning kids or promoting it, not only illegal but unthinkable. In the same line as the human sacrifices of the past.
It may still exist today but at least it's not strongly suggested, applauded or mainstreamed.
To be continued…