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Sandra Pinches's avatar

The parents of trans identified kids span the whole range of parents, the highly attentive and the distracted, those opposed to transitions and those who "listen" and facilitate them. There is no evidence that any particular parenting styles or skills are determinants of what the kid choses to do. What the kids do have in common are a peer group, teachers indoctrinating them in school, and exposure to adult influencers and exploiters.

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Eleganta's avatar

You did not create this cult.

You did not cause the Trans moral panic.

A tiny handful of multimillionaire and billionaire men did: https://www.the11thhourblog.com/

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Un-silent's avatar

Please stop blaming yourself, there is something completely diabolical going on in the schools, on social media, and amongst the kids themselves. The kids are being brainwashed, bullied, and peer pressured into changing their sex. They are also being brainwashed into turning away from their parents. Pray for your son, give it to God, and let your son know how much you love him.

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Sharon Lee COWAN's avatar

It's so nice to hear from a dad. My heart goes out to you, questioning your choices over the years as a parent. We have all done the same. But the fact is, this is a viral phenomenon and possibly the only protection against it -- for those kids who are vulnerable -- is home-schooling in Siberia . . .

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Cookie's avatar

I understand how you feel. We never saw this madness coming from our daughter and now, for years we’ve been dealing with this the best we could; loving her as best we could and praying constantly for healing. We are flawed but our faith and love sustain us.

May God bless us and our children whom we love forever🙏❤️

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Theresa Wilson's avatar

My husband calls these mental meanderings the, coulda, shoulda, woulda's. It helps give us the illusion of control in the early days. The days before we realize how little control we actually have.

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Deadnames's avatar

I too never saw this coming for my daughter.

Please do not blame yourself! The death cult is strong, insidious & anti family relationships. You are just as much a victim of the trans cult as is your son. Talking to others that understand helps & a belief in truth & love does give comfort. We are all here with you & available to give support because we truly understand the pain & grief that you are experiencing!

Bless you & your son.

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Paranoid Mother's avatar

Beautifully written and poignant. None of us could have seen it coming. It is nothing that you have done. When my son started identifying as trans (he has since desisted), I wished that we parented him in a way that you describe--gentle but consistent reminders and examples of how to "be a man," so to speak. I've done everything to avoid it when he was little, I never asked him to "man up", and my husband never asked him either. I wondered whether THAT was a mistake. I wondered whether we should have made more explicit efforts to raise a man, not just a "good human being." The point is that we just never know, and we will always try to blame ourselves. We raise them as we think is best for them, and sometimes despite our best efforts they still end up less resilient than we would have liked, more vulnerable, more susceptible to being brainwashed. Try not to blame yourself. It is not you. Your love for your son shines through this beautiful and sad piece of writing.

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Erin Sardiello's avatar

beautifully written.

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Julie's avatar

One thing I have learned is that this hits all kinds of families, religious, secular, left, right, single parent, two parent, same sex parents… I am the complete opposite of how you describe yourself and it didn’t matter. So give yourself a break and know that transgender ideology does not discriminate. It’s insidious and the people pushing it don’t care what kind of parents we are unless we blindly affirm and follow our kids into the cult.

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Jun 25
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Turtle's avatar

No one is "trans". Maybe some people are just mentally ill.

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Beeswax's avatar

Or deeply troubled and anxious about their sexuality (internalized homophobia), or struggling with a traumatic event involving sexual abuse or harassment, or a feeling of alienation, loneliness and not fitting in…all common challenges that adolescents may experience. When teachers and social media push “gender” as life affirming and quasi-magical, it’s like dangling a magic talisman or potion in front of them. Mental illness becomes the result, not the cause, of identifying as trans.

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Christine Jones's avatar

It’s definitely a dangerous ideology and a social contagion. One day, it’ll just be a regrettable and disastrous stain on the pages of social and medical history, just like the lobotomy.

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Beeswax's avatar

I hope and pray that we get there sooner than later.

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CA mom's avatar

It’s not your fault. Plain and simple. Trans identifying kids are coming from all parenting styles.

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Jun 25
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Deadnames's avatar

Sexuality is not a child's to determine, it is a biological reality.

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Grandma Eileen's avatar

Everyone is blindsided by this trans-cult. How could any of us really prepare for what was to come? No one wanted to think the unthinkable. How could anyone really believe the trans ideology? A boy cannot become a woman! A girl cannot become a man! By the time a child can say "I am trans" they have already been indoctrinated and brainwashed. It seems as though parents are the last ones to know, or the last one's who keep fighting for the truth. I hope your story will have a better ending.

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L RiverOtter's avatar

The last line you wrote says it all. We’ve all made mistakes because that is just the nature of being human. Please don’t beat on yourself for this (although I suspect we all do at some point). I keep the serenity prayer going for myself (serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change what I can change; and wisdom to know the difference) and a prayer going for all the families affected by this that somehow everyone will find their way to health and peace in the end.

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Islamae's avatar

That's what you people want. Broken families. Children indoctrinated to believe their mothers and fathers hate them because we disagree. My son can believe he's my daughter all he wants, but he will always be my son. At one time he believed I hate him- such a cruel & deceptive thing you tell gender dysphoric youth- can you not see how wicked your controllers are? Twelve years & we still have a good relationship, regular conversations about the joys & trials of life. You tried and failed, but I am one of the lucky ones. Stop lying about us to folks who are already suffering enough.

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Islamae's avatar

My reply was in response to "Jaqueline" and my point was that my son has not gone no contact. What is your point? Rubbing salt in someone's wounds? I will never stop praying and trying to snap my son out of his delusion, because my hope is that one day he will be healed enough to share with me more joy than sorrow rather than the opposite, which is exactly what trans ideology has given him.

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Jun 25
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Islamae's avatar

Indeed, I only suffer because my son is suffering. So much potential has been thwarted, his energy siphoned away from his dreams & talents to a false ideology. My son is grown and was a young adult when he announced his affliction to me. He has never feared me, as I always enthusiastically supported his endeavors in art, music, sewing and dressing however he chose. There are no laws dictating how males or females should dress, or what work or hobbies should interest them. Gender is a social construct. No one is born in the wrong body. Lying to my children has never been part of my parenting style, but unconditional love is, and that includes always telling the truth. My perspective might not change his psychological

distress, but encouraging it sure won't help. I hope this makes sense.

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Jun 25
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Luc's avatar

FAKE.. just a name no other info on account.

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