I lost my best friend to this, too. Our girls were 6 years apart. My oldest spent a lot of time at their house when she was getting her Masters in Library Sciences. Their house was filled with children’s LGBTQ literature, and at the time I thought it was so progressive and great. Her daughter became a “they/them” and left the country, got a graduate degree in Gender Studies. Mine is butchering herself to make people believe she is a he/him.
My friend was affirming, threw her a birthday party where the cake said “M” instead of our daughter’s name. She kept doing things like this, thinking it was a sort of compromise, until one day I sent the text that changed everything.
“HER name is [my daughter’s name.]”
Never heard from my friend after that. We were best friends for over 23 years.
You are lucky at the end that this "friend" doesn't talk to you any longer. Think the opposite, let say you are a supportive parent of your son transition and she is the one who is opposed, you would have been running to her to tell het how happy you are?
And what left and right (that are only labels) have anything to do with the truth that people cannot change their biological print? So now political identities are in the mixture? How evil is that? For the left to be opposing transgenderism is to be in the right? What grade of indoctrination are we talking about here? Is that Americans are lost their minds or it is something in the water? But people who opposed to transgenderism are always RIGHT, that for sure, the best position to have.
Having experienced something similar over the pandemic & BLM propaganda from 2020, I can relate. I chose to forgive & we still have a distant relationship but it will never be the same. Prayers for you and your family.
I feel you. It's been six years for me too. I am so tired of being judged because my precious daughter took on a trans identity. You say: It’s as if once a child says, “I’m trans,” everyone else suddenly takes sides. It's so true. I think it is because you cannot go half-way on this issue. Because sex is binary and there is no two ways about it - you have to either believe in the primacy of reality (two sexes, no thing called gender, & billions of personalities) or believe in an 'inner gendered soul' that can be trapped in the wrong body. How do you find a middle ground with that? I don't think you can unless you say: 'I don't care and I have no interest in finding out'. But that is an impossible stance for mothers. You either have to take the Blue Pill or the Red Pill.
When I was young decades ago, I knew a young man who was in a motorcycle accident and suffered catastrophic brain damage. He lost his memory, his personality, his entire self. One day, about a year after his accident, he turned up in the coffee shop where I worked, where he used to hang out. We chatted briefly, and I will never forget what he told me:
"I went to visit my old roommates. We thought we knew each other. But we really didn't know each other."
In this modern world of daily rush and chaos, we might think we know our friends. But until something catastrophic happens, we really don't know them.
Wow. Your story is heartbreaking on so many levels. Yes, being judged does happen because of this evil trans cult. It also happened to me when I knew the truth and friends had blinders on and would not see. I had to unfriend people on FaceBook (friends and relatives). It was easier to stop communicating with people than to have to justify or explain why the transgender cult was the biggest medical scandal of the century. I am sorry for your losses, especially for your son who got caught in the trans-trap. I wish you peace and healing. Your old friend is shallow and not worth keeping. Best wishes to you and thank you for sharing your story.
I am so very sorry...our son is grown married and has our only grandchild...he made this decision 3 years ago and he and his wife cut us off completely..admitted they didn't give our granddaughter the gifts we sent...they wanted Affirmation but we only offered love and acceptance! He has been struggling with mental health issues for several years but would not listen to any of my a suggestions on spite of my working 3 decades in mental health!
I have told very few people...for some of the reasons you just shared!
I said, he’s not a girl, do you have any idea what you are congratulating me for. She then retreated & apologized for upsetting me. She had the usual it’s quite common & accepted now you know & compassion for how hard it must be to accept. I said I don’t need help, my son does
For me I’ve learned that I too, like my trans identified child, sometimes trusted the wrong people and put the effort into friendships where the friend was not putting in the effort and I was people pleasing and love bombing because of learned behavior.
I started to see relationships and people differently and myself the deeper down the gender rabbit hole I went.
I’m drawn towards the gender critical crowd and they seem more “real.” They question a lot of things, not to judge but to understand. Well more of them.
A “friend” who drops you in a time of need but can email you for a favor later I would no longer consider a friend. They sound like they are using you. I wonder if you look back at your time as friends could you spot more time when your “friend” only showed up when it was convenient for them? How lopsided was the support and favors for everything else?
I’m sorry I don’t know what I would have done if my best friend abandoned me during this time. She’s like the ONLY person I can talk to about it.
I’m so sorry. Similar here. They are sick of me discovering corrupt institution after corrupt institution and calling out criminal behavior in schools and medical practices and prisons and sports and…..
It’s too hard to see. They think my fighting for my child -and theirs and their grandchildren— is activism that I should stop yesterday.
Every time you see her. Say something new. "How is your daughter doing? Has she shared "her" new name yet? Like, OMG. You have a special daughter too!" Next time you see her referring to her son as "your daughter " I will congratulate "her" on how well "she" passes. If she says no, he hasn't shared this, say "well. You.must be NOT be safe if he doesn't share this with you, his own mother!" We need to dish it out right back to these dopes. These people act like idiots so treat they/them that way. And if she says she doesn't know what you're referring to say "welcome to the club". I'm tired of kids gloves with these morons who really believe they are on the right side of history. Don't laugh. Be serous and tell her maybe she's onto something. Let her worry about her son for months. Years.
I used to play music with a father whose daughter rapidly became trans. Since she had always had some kind of gender dysphoria according to the father and he was given an ultimatum to be with or against the transition.. he decided to be ’with’! However, I never felt convinced by the situation… and internally felt like this was happening extremely fast without many hurdles. I felt even responsible that I had not been able to magically influence the daughter.. out of it.. even if I virtually never saw her or knew her. After the transition was swiftly on course… I absolutely withdrew.. automatically… from this situation.. gradually. It was about needing to go away and figure out through introspection…. Something that felt so innately wrong. As the parent, I can understand how it effects all the relationships. I appreciate the atmosphere was a different kind for you!
Church (carefully selecting people) and groups for parents (grandparents & family members) who don't affirm ... such as Help 4 Families and Our Duty. There are chapters / groups around the world.
I’m sorry you are experiencing that. I have three kids who went trans. I understand the heart tearing pain when you most precious possessions turn and reject you and your values
I lost my best friend to this, too. Our girls were 6 years apart. My oldest spent a lot of time at their house when she was getting her Masters in Library Sciences. Their house was filled with children’s LGBTQ literature, and at the time I thought it was so progressive and great. Her daughter became a “they/them” and left the country, got a graduate degree in Gender Studies. Mine is butchering herself to make people believe she is a he/him.
My friend was affirming, threw her a birthday party where the cake said “M” instead of our daughter’s name. She kept doing things like this, thinking it was a sort of compromise, until one day I sent the text that changed everything.
“HER name is [my daughter’s name.]”
Never heard from my friend after that. We were best friends for over 23 years.
You are lucky at the end that this "friend" doesn't talk to you any longer. Think the opposite, let say you are a supportive parent of your son transition and she is the one who is opposed, you would have been running to her to tell het how happy you are?
And what left and right (that are only labels) have anything to do with the truth that people cannot change their biological print? So now political identities are in the mixture? How evil is that? For the left to be opposing transgenderism is to be in the right? What grade of indoctrination are we talking about here? Is that Americans are lost their minds or it is something in the water? But people who opposed to transgenderism are always RIGHT, that for sure, the best position to have.
Having experienced something similar over the pandemic & BLM propaganda from 2020, I can relate. I chose to forgive & we still have a distant relationship but it will never be the same. Prayers for you and your family.
I feel you. It's been six years for me too. I am so tired of being judged because my precious daughter took on a trans identity. You say: It’s as if once a child says, “I’m trans,” everyone else suddenly takes sides. It's so true. I think it is because you cannot go half-way on this issue. Because sex is binary and there is no two ways about it - you have to either believe in the primacy of reality (two sexes, no thing called gender, & billions of personalities) or believe in an 'inner gendered soul' that can be trapped in the wrong body. How do you find a middle ground with that? I don't think you can unless you say: 'I don't care and I have no interest in finding out'. But that is an impossible stance for mothers. You either have to take the Blue Pill or the Red Pill.
When I was young decades ago, I knew a young man who was in a motorcycle accident and suffered catastrophic brain damage. He lost his memory, his personality, his entire self. One day, about a year after his accident, he turned up in the coffee shop where I worked, where he used to hang out. We chatted briefly, and I will never forget what he told me:
"I went to visit my old roommates. We thought we knew each other. But we really didn't know each other."
In this modern world of daily rush and chaos, we might think we know our friends. But until something catastrophic happens, we really don't know them.
This is so true for many of us in the liberal zone. I am sorry for your loss.
Wow. Your story is heartbreaking on so many levels. Yes, being judged does happen because of this evil trans cult. It also happened to me when I knew the truth and friends had blinders on and would not see. I had to unfriend people on FaceBook (friends and relatives). It was easier to stop communicating with people than to have to justify or explain why the transgender cult was the biggest medical scandal of the century. I am sorry for your losses, especially for your son who got caught in the trans-trap. I wish you peace and healing. Your old friend is shallow and not worth keeping. Best wishes to you and thank you for sharing your story.
I am so very sorry...our son is grown married and has our only grandchild...he made this decision 3 years ago and he and his wife cut us off completely..admitted they didn't give our granddaughter the gifts we sent...they wanted Affirmation but we only offered love and acceptance! He has been struggling with mental health issues for several years but would not listen to any of my a suggestions on spite of my working 3 decades in mental health!
I have told very few people...for some of the reasons you just shared!
369308
I’ll never forget when I told a neighbor & she straight away put out her hand & said congratulations & just so you know, I’m an ally
Ugh. What did you say?
I said, he’s not a girl, do you have any idea what you are congratulating me for. She then retreated & apologized for upsetting me. She had the usual it’s quite common & accepted now you know & compassion for how hard it must be to accept. I said I don’t need help, my son does
Wow
For me I’ve learned that I too, like my trans identified child, sometimes trusted the wrong people and put the effort into friendships where the friend was not putting in the effort and I was people pleasing and love bombing because of learned behavior.
I started to see relationships and people differently and myself the deeper down the gender rabbit hole I went.
I’m drawn towards the gender critical crowd and they seem more “real.” They question a lot of things, not to judge but to understand. Well more of them.
A “friend” who drops you in a time of need but can email you for a favor later I would no longer consider a friend. They sound like they are using you. I wonder if you look back at your time as friends could you spot more time when your “friend” only showed up when it was convenient for them? How lopsided was the support and favors for everything else?
I’m sorry I don’t know what I would have done if my best friend abandoned me during this time. She’s like the ONLY person I can talk to about it.
I’m so sorry. Similar here. They are sick of me discovering corrupt institution after corrupt institution and calling out criminal behavior in schools and medical practices and prisons and sports and…..
It’s too hard to see. They think my fighting for my child -and theirs and their grandchildren— is activism that I should stop yesterday.
Every time you see her. Say something new. "How is your daughter doing? Has she shared "her" new name yet? Like, OMG. You have a special daughter too!" Next time you see her referring to her son as "your daughter " I will congratulate "her" on how well "she" passes. If she says no, he hasn't shared this, say "well. You.must be NOT be safe if he doesn't share this with you, his own mother!" We need to dish it out right back to these dopes. These people act like idiots so treat they/them that way. And if she says she doesn't know what you're referring to say "welcome to the club". I'm tired of kids gloves with these morons who really believe they are on the right side of history. Don't laugh. Be serous and tell her maybe she's onto something. Let her worry about her son for months. Years.
I used to play music with a father whose daughter rapidly became trans. Since she had always had some kind of gender dysphoria according to the father and he was given an ultimatum to be with or against the transition.. he decided to be ’with’! However, I never felt convinced by the situation… and internally felt like this was happening extremely fast without many hurdles. I felt even responsible that I had not been able to magically influence the daughter.. out of it.. even if I virtually never saw her or knew her. After the transition was swiftly on course… I absolutely withdrew.. automatically… from this situation.. gradually. It was about needing to go away and figure out through introspection…. Something that felt so innately wrong. As the parent, I can understand how it effects all the relationships. I appreciate the atmosphere was a different kind for you!
How does anyone meet new adult friends- to confide in and share? This current landscape with such weights on our backs makes for so much isolation.
Church (carefully selecting people) and groups for parents (grandparents & family members) who don't affirm ... such as Help 4 Families and Our Duty. There are chapters / groups around the world.
I’m sorry you are experiencing that. I have three kids who went trans. I understand the heart tearing pain when you most precious possessions turn and reject you and your values
"Three kids went trans."
OMG sons and daughters? So much to bear.