Yes to parental instincts! Thank you for sharing your story. Wishing you and your family all the best.
It totally makes sense to me that you're feeling a combo of numb and apprehensive. Our daughter (now 13) desisted a few months ago, and has even done a 180 and is proudly gender-critical, but I still sometimes find myself silently thinking oh shoot, I just said the wrong pronoun... when I actually said the right one.
I am so, so, so, so... 1000 times so pleased for you. But I understand your feelings of disbelief and tumultuous wariness. I wished so many times myself that my now dead Trans ex-H could have found the strength to see the truth and come back to us (two children and me) but he didn't and he continued to force others to speak lies to him.
Also SO glad that you and your husband are still together, have complemented each other, and are finding out how to deal with the new situation together. A truly Happy Christmas to all of you!
I’m so happy for you!! Your son is very fortunate to have two parents loving him so well. Don’t spend too much time on the trauma or fear from the whole experience. Just try to be present for now and spend time with him. Enjoy it!
Thanks for giving me hope ♥️. My husband and I are also sticking with not affirming our daughter. I'm so thankful he and I are on the same page. I often wonder how I will react if/when she desists. This rocks your world in ways you could never imagine. 16 months and counting.....
What a wonderful partnership between you and your husband. Your trust in each other and in yourselves is admirable. So thankful your son has realized the truth about trans and wants to reconcile--that is truly the greatest gift. Blessings to you as you renew your family relationships!
That’s a beautiful story, I hope more people on here get similar. I also had my son home for Xmas, though I wasn’t sure he would come. He is still on hormones (for almost 2 years now) but we we all called him by his birth name and he didn’t object. I also talked to him about different beliefs and how I couldn’t believe in gender identity but we could still love and respect each other. Maybe taking away the pushback will help before he is damaged any more?
He sounds male, he looks younger than his (almost) 20 years as his face is soft and hairless. At over 6ft tall I think he looks like a precocious 15 year old boy. He does have breast growth but wears a sports bra and baggy clothes so not v noticeable unless you know. A cousin who doesn’t know him well didn’t recognise him in the photo I sent.
He will almost certainly be infertile now, but as I think he’s gay it was always unlikely he’d have biological kids of his own. We are just keeping going, I worry about my younger daughter who he hasn’t “come out” to yet but must suspect something. They are very close and .I’m not sure how she’ll react, if she affirms it will be a wedge between us, if she desists it will be a wedge between them. Luckily my husband and I are on the same page, it must be so difficult In families where one parent affirms and one desists.
Yes it is hard. None of is actually affirm to his face, except my middle daughter. They are very close BUT my husband and I disagree on everything else about this. We have had many huge arguments about it. I believe we fight it head on and keep telling the truth, my husband thinks I'm a crazy conspiracy theorist who is making a big thing out of nothing and to just let him express himself. His head is innthe same and he sees no thing to be concerned about. He thinks I'm crazy, even called me insane, becasue this has upset me so much. It's been awful
Some of the stuff you read does sound like a conspiracy theory, it’s been a real eye opener (and not in a good way). It must be even harder without your husband onside but I think it’s very common for us Mums to be much more engaged and therefore much more distressed.
Thank you sooo much for this update. I am so glad your story turned to the better. Let's pray more parents will experience the same! Lord have mercy, show them your unconditional love.
I am so happy for you. What an emotional roller coaster; I’m sure there’s a “detransitioning” period for family members, too, even when we don’t affirm. You must feel a mix shock and gratitude, like when you narrowly escape a disastrous accident?
Our 18 year old daughter hasn’t desisted as far as I’m aware, but we avoid the subject and have let her go, with visits and hugs and care packages, FaceTimes and lots of “love you miss you” texts. Thankfully she’s receptive and reciprocates. We’ve never affirmed—initially I tried to be woke and hip about it, but thankfully my husband showed me the obvious truth and God enabled me to hear it.
Anyway, the Gender Ideology elephant is still in the room with every interaction.
But your story gives me so much faith! Your family did so much work and loved each other so hard during this time.
Wow, this bought tears to my eyes, well done mama and papa. Love to you all xxx
Amen, friend.
Yes to parental instincts! Thank you for sharing your story. Wishing you and your family all the best.
It totally makes sense to me that you're feeling a combo of numb and apprehensive. Our daughter (now 13) desisted a few months ago, and has even done a 180 and is proudly gender-critical, but I still sometimes find myself silently thinking oh shoot, I just said the wrong pronoun... when I actually said the right one.
I am so thrilled for you. What an incredible gift. That your son heard your voice in his head is such a blessing.
I am so, so, so, so... 1000 times so pleased for you. But I understand your feelings of disbelief and tumultuous wariness. I wished so many times myself that my now dead Trans ex-H could have found the strength to see the truth and come back to us (two children and me) but he didn't and he continued to force others to speak lies to him.
Also SO glad that you and your husband are still together, have complemented each other, and are finding out how to deal with the new situation together. A truly Happy Christmas to all of you!
I’m so happy for you!! Your son is very fortunate to have two parents loving him so well. Don’t spend too much time on the trauma or fear from the whole experience. Just try to be present for now and spend time with him. Enjoy it!
Thanks for giving me hope ♥️. My husband and I are also sticking with not affirming our daughter. I'm so thankful he and I are on the same page. I often wonder how I will react if/when she desists. This rocks your world in ways you could never imagine. 16 months and counting.....
So very very happy for you! Take it slow, trust is hard to recover. Merry Christmas! On to a better new Year!
So hard to know what the right thing to do in this situation. Glad to hear that this scenario works out for some families.
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What a wonderful partnership between you and your husband. Your trust in each other and in yourselves is admirable. So thankful your son has realized the truth about trans and wants to reconcile--that is truly the greatest gift. Blessings to you as you renew your family relationships!
That’s a beautiful story, I hope more people on here get similar. I also had my son home for Xmas, though I wasn’t sure he would come. He is still on hormones (for almost 2 years now) but we we all called him by his birth name and he didn’t object. I also talked to him about different beliefs and how I couldn’t believe in gender identity but we could still love and respect each other. Maybe taking away the pushback will help before he is damaged any more?
That is interesting/promising to hear. I’m wondering if he looked very different after 2 years on hormones.
He sounds male, he looks younger than his (almost) 20 years as his face is soft and hairless. At over 6ft tall I think he looks like a precocious 15 year old boy. He does have breast growth but wears a sports bra and baggy clothes so not v noticeable unless you know. A cousin who doesn’t know him well didn’t recognise him in the photo I sent.
At least at this point it all sounds reversible. I hope ot hasnt made him sick. How are you coping?
He will almost certainly be infertile now, but as I think he’s gay it was always unlikely he’d have biological kids of his own. We are just keeping going, I worry about my younger daughter who he hasn’t “come out” to yet but must suspect something. They are very close and .I’m not sure how she’ll react, if she affirms it will be a wedge between us, if she desists it will be a wedge between them. Luckily my husband and I are on the same page, it must be so difficult In families where one parent affirms and one desists.
Yes it is hard. None of is actually affirm to his face, except my middle daughter. They are very close BUT my husband and I disagree on everything else about this. We have had many huge arguments about it. I believe we fight it head on and keep telling the truth, my husband thinks I'm a crazy conspiracy theorist who is making a big thing out of nothing and to just let him express himself. His head is innthe same and he sees no thing to be concerned about. He thinks I'm crazy, even called me insane, becasue this has upset me so much. It's been awful
Some of the stuff you read does sound like a conspiracy theory, it’s been a real eye opener (and not in a good way). It must be even harder without your husband onside but I think it’s very common for us Mums to be much more engaged and therefore much more distressed.
Thank you sooo much for this update. I am so glad your story turned to the better. Let's pray more parents will experience the same! Lord have mercy, show them your unconditional love.
wow
fabulous xxxx
I think both you and your husband were right. What a team :)
I am so happy for you. What an emotional roller coaster; I’m sure there’s a “detransitioning” period for family members, too, even when we don’t affirm. You must feel a mix shock and gratitude, like when you narrowly escape a disastrous accident?
Our 18 year old daughter hasn’t desisted as far as I’m aware, but we avoid the subject and have let her go, with visits and hugs and care packages, FaceTimes and lots of “love you miss you” texts. Thankfully she’s receptive and reciprocates. We’ve never affirmed—initially I tried to be woke and hip about it, but thankfully my husband showed me the obvious truth and God enabled me to hear it.
Anyway, the Gender Ideology elephant is still in the room with every interaction.
But your story gives me so much faith! Your family did so much work and loved each other so hard during this time.