It’s Hard Not Being Believed
When you are the parent of an ROGD kid, you need a support system. Unfortunately, not everyone’s family is up to the task and, when that happens, the feeling of hurt and betrayal is overwhelming and all consuming.
In my case, my own sister does not believe me. She believes that “trans” could be innate and that it could apply to my son. When I first confided in her 3 years ago, she listened and was horrified. After a time though, she was unable to prioritize her loyalty to me and my son over what she was reading in the news. She judged my parenting, blamed me, and scolded me for my feelings. I was so hurt that I decided to drop the subject with her and, eventually, I stopped speaking to her about anything at all. Now we basically haven’t spoken in a year.
I asked her to read stuff from sources other than her normal television, but she won’t, like “The Cover up of the Biggest Medical Scandal of Our Time”, which explains things better than I can.
I also sent her this site of young adults who believed they were trans and were harmed—the stories are heartbreaking. There are thousands of Detransitioners who are now telling their stories. Most of these kids are either gay or autistic like mine.
She wants to believe what she watches on TV. She says there have always been trans people; she believes that gay and trans are similar situations. She says she didn’t need to read anything when our older sister told us about a mental condition with her son. I said you didn’t need to read anything because you accepted what she said, you believed her.
Below was written by a mom who’s story is no different than mine but she tells it well. I wish my sister would read these stories—if she believes them, maybe she’d finally believe me.
There are many gay writers trying to inform the world about what is happening. Perhaps she’d believe them?
My sister used to admire me and trust me, and I gave her no real reason to change her mind—other than my situation challenging her worldview in ways that made her uncomfortable—apparently more uncomfortable than estrangement with me?
Just like my son—I guess nothing I can say or do will open my sister’s eyes. Just like my son, it seems she is going to have to figure it out on her own. I hope that our family bonds will be strong enough to hold us together until then, so that one day we can be close again.
My 20 year old daughter started taking testosterone. My sister congratulated her and said she is glad that she is being her authentic self. She is not just going along with calling her "he" and using a male or gender nuetral nickname, she is scolding my dad and I because we don't. It has made me so angry with her. My daughter suffers from anxiety and depression and I do wonder if she is on the autism spectrum. She now says she has always known on some level that she was trans but she was in denial. I know this is 100% false becuase I raised her and had a very close relationship with her from the time she was born up until she was about 17 years old. It started when she was 17 and it started during covid shut downs, and it started becuase of social media and internet friendships. Her dad unfortunately takes the gender affirming aproach as well. We are divorced and I do slightly wonder if he is using this situation as a way to become closer to her and edge me out. I can't be sure of what he is thinking but that has crossed my mind.
That's exactly how my sister reacted when I confided in her, too. Never mind, forget about him. It hurts to articulate this but I realized that my sister never loved me .