I am the mother of a once trans-identifying son who desisted/detransitioned after experimenting with estrogen he had obtained online. He only injected himself for two months but he immediately hated how it made him feel, so he stopped. It took him another six months to desist since he still thought he had to be trans. Where did this idea come from? The school.
His middle school was cited in One Of America’s Largest School Districts Became A Pipeline For A Trans Youth Clinic. My very secure, masculine son came home from school and told his dad about a presentation he saw at school. Our son said he didn’t know you could be “born in the wrong body”. My husband didn’t think anything of it at the time and wasn’t sure what it meant. The possibility of our son falling for this was the furthest thing from his mind.
In high school, my son was socially awkward and his once great self-esteem began to deteriorate. His grades began to fall too. I wondered if he had ADHD since he was struggling. His teacher took him under his wings. Unbeknownst to us, my son decided his troubles could be explained away by thinking he must be a girl. Years later he estranged himself from us with this teacher's help. The teacher helped our son get into a shelter, where he went after leaving our home. My son was horrified at this shelter because they kept pushing surgery, something he had no interest in. He left the shelter and couch surfed until he got a job and was able to pay for a room.
Almost a year later, we found out where he was staying and we went to talk to him. My son asked if he could move home. Our son was no longer angry with us for not letting him take cross-sex hormones. He realized that we cared about him. Our bond was strong enough that, the whole time he was gone, he questioned if he was wrong about his parents. He no longer believed he was trans. I asked him if his teacher pushed him into the trans identity. He said he’s often wondered about that. I said we should sue, but my son didn’t want to because he said this teacher was a nice guy and had been very good to him. Groomers always are - that’s how they earn the trust of the vulnerable.
Three months after moving home, my son took his life. We don’t know why. There were no signs. He seemed so happy. He was very goal-oriented and talked about taking care of us in our old age. He wanted a good job, to get married and have kids. He was extremely apologetic to us for how he treated us and told me all the time how much he loved me. The night before he died, he was making noise when I was trying to sleep. I asked him to shut my door. He said, “I’m sorry mom, I love you”, and shut the door. I can still hear his voice in my head.
I blame the school and that teacher for taking away my son's years and ultimately his life. I would like to sue but it’s not easy to get a lawyer for a case like mine, since he was an adult. But the harm was done when he was a minor. This great kid was convinced he was born in the wrong body and suffered mental illness due to this belief. He believed his parents were the enemy until he realized we did love him; we just didn’t want him to harm himself. It was not easy to walk back from his trans identity, but it should never have occurred in the first place. He should be in his second year of college now having the time of his life. Why are schools giving these kinds of presentations? Why are they encouraging kids to see their parents as the enemy? The schools have a lot to answer for and I hope justice is served.
The U.S. is way behind on the trans issue. After the WPATH files and the Cass Review came out, it should be game over. Most of Europe’s newspapers headlines are reporting about the trans scandal or trans hoax, but not the U.S. The U.S. wants to hold onto this lie because they are making too much money. There are no “trans kids”. There are no trans people, just people who don’t want to be their sex. Trans is something you do, not who you are. How many more children need to be sacrificed like mine to stop the harm?
I am so sorry for your loss. I have no words. My son was brainwashed 3years ago and it has been a living nightmare. I pray God gives you strength and comforts you like only He can.
This is so painful. I read this a few days ago, while in the car with my husband and audibly gasped. I worry about my son, even though he too has detransitioned. I worry that life is just too hard for him. I often think this is a bigger issue some of our children are facing.
You are good, loving parents.
My son has talked about taking care of us in our old age too since detransitioning, and about wanting a family someday, and a good job that can support that.
I do worry that all of this, and the ability to handle what life has thrown at him, may be too much at times. I don't know how to help him. I know focusing on gender is distracting from the real issues he is dealing with.
My heart hurts for you, for your spouse, and your family. I'm so sorry. I know that doesn't help you much. Thank you for sharing your very personal story, and for trying to use your pain to help others. It will not be in vain. God bless you.