Hi, I’m a young adult and I wanted to share my story because I resonated with your son. I also thought I was trans at 13, but desisted at 14 and thought that was the end of it. It unfortunately was not.
I was able to suppress my dysphoria and desire to trans myself while living with my parents because I knew it was never an option. Howeve…
Hi, I’m a young adult and I wanted to share my story because I resonated with your son. I also thought I was trans at 13, but desisted at 14 and thought that was the end of it. It unfortunately was not.
I was able to suppress my dysphoria and desire to trans myself while living with my parents because I knew it was never an option. However, as soon as I was in college, the thoughts crept back. They never really left. I don’t plan to transition, it would break my mother’s heart and I’d become a freak. I’m borderline suicidal and cannot get therapy. Of course, I’m not going to do that either because again, it would break my mothers heart.
My point isn’t that your son is really a woman or anything like that. It’s simply: don’t assume the dysphoria’s gone forever. It may come back, and if it does your son will need your help (not to transition, but to deal with it emotionally). My mom won’t help me and that weighs on me everyday. She doesn’t understand how hard I’m working to make her happy. I feel disconnected from her because I can’t even share my struggles without her jumping down my throat. As far as she’s aware, I’ve completely desisted, and believe me, I want to completely desist so bad, but I’m struggling to.
If I could offer any advice to parents of trans children, make sure you remain a safe place for your children. Don’t yell at them for having dysphoria, it won’t make it go away. Love your children and recognize it when they resist transitioning. Understand that they’re going through a tough time. Be someone they can confide trans thoughts to, rather than someone they have to hide it from. Then, help them deal with those thoughts in a healthy way.
Thanks for your helpful advice. It takes great strength of character to resist the urge to transition. Dysphoria can be a long term problem, associated with other conditions.
My child had co-ordination difficulties. When another plate slipped out of her hands and smashed, I had to say nothing. I learnt not to yell. When I told a social worker about the “clumsiness” I was effectively told off for using that offensive word. So now I use the word dyspraxia although not in her presence.
Dysphoria is the latest word being used to describe what used to be a normal part of growing up, just more extreme in some children who need more support going through puberty and accepting their biological sex.
How can parents support when their children do not want to confide in them? What do we have to do to persuade our child that they can share their trans thoughts?
I wish therapy would be offered. We need social workers to understand and help parents rather than treat us as bad if we do not immediately accept our child’s desire to undergo what is effectively sterilisation. We need as a society to accept that some boys are feminine but that does not mean they need to identify as girls.
Hi, I’m a young adult and I wanted to share my story because I resonated with your son. I also thought I was trans at 13, but desisted at 14 and thought that was the end of it. It unfortunately was not.
I was able to suppress my dysphoria and desire to trans myself while living with my parents because I knew it was never an option. However, as soon as I was in college, the thoughts crept back. They never really left. I don’t plan to transition, it would break my mother’s heart and I’d become a freak. I’m borderline suicidal and cannot get therapy. Of course, I’m not going to do that either because again, it would break my mothers heart.
My point isn’t that your son is really a woman or anything like that. It’s simply: don’t assume the dysphoria’s gone forever. It may come back, and if it does your son will need your help (not to transition, but to deal with it emotionally). My mom won’t help me and that weighs on me everyday. She doesn’t understand how hard I’m working to make her happy. I feel disconnected from her because I can’t even share my struggles without her jumping down my throat. As far as she’s aware, I’ve completely desisted, and believe me, I want to completely desist so bad, but I’m struggling to.
If I could offer any advice to parents of trans children, make sure you remain a safe place for your children. Don’t yell at them for having dysphoria, it won’t make it go away. Love your children and recognize it when they resist transitioning. Understand that they’re going through a tough time. Be someone they can confide trans thoughts to, rather than someone they have to hide it from. Then, help them deal with those thoughts in a healthy way.
Thanks for your helpful advice. It takes great strength of character to resist the urge to transition. Dysphoria can be a long term problem, associated with other conditions.
My child had co-ordination difficulties. When another plate slipped out of her hands and smashed, I had to say nothing. I learnt not to yell. When I told a social worker about the “clumsiness” I was effectively told off for using that offensive word. So now I use the word dyspraxia although not in her presence.
Dysphoria is the latest word being used to describe what used to be a normal part of growing up, just more extreme in some children who need more support going through puberty and accepting their biological sex.
How can parents support when their children do not want to confide in them? What do we have to do to persuade our child that they can share their trans thoughts?
I wish therapy would be offered. We need social workers to understand and help parents rather than treat us as bad if we do not immediately accept our child’s desire to undergo what is effectively sterilisation. We need as a society to accept that some boys are feminine but that does not mean they need to identify as girls.