LCSW

To my daughter’s fully medicalized, trans-identified, licensed clinical social worker –

You spoke to my daughter without my knowledge or consent when she was a 13-year-old.  You are part of a systemic failure on the part of our educational and mental health care systems which targets young, vulnerable people under the guise of “healthcare” in what, I can only assume, is an attempt to get more money and increased social justice influence over our young people. Shame on you and those who have allowed this to happen.

When my daughter was crying and came to you in earnest for help because she was so confused about everything she was seeing, hearing and reading online, you asked what her “preferred pronouns and name” were and told her “You are a boy. YOU ARE A BOY.”

This did not help her.

You told her every other week that she was doing a “good job” hanging in there because she had to wait until she was 18 years old to be able to inject herself with opposite sex hormones and have surgery to remove body parts. You told her you understood how hard it was to have to wait.

This did not help her.

You talked to her about how to socially transition at school and what “rights” she had as a 13-year-old to hide things from her parents and how to make demands of adults around her.

This did not help her.

You were oblivious to the fact that this young teen obviously had multiple other issues going on in her life that were contributing to her being uncomfortable with her body, and told her that it was all due to her “gender” not matching her body.

This did not help her.

You gave her a link to the local “transgender youth center” and also sent her a form to order a free chest binder.

This did not help her.

You told my 13-year-old daughter, when she asked about vaginal atrophy and a hysterectomy and if it hurt, “Oh, it was no big deal, my insurance covered it.”

This did not help her.

When I realized what was happening and scheduled an appointment to talk to you directly to find out the extent of what my daughter had been exposed to, you were eager to tell me in our appointment that you yourself were “transgender” and how you had determined for yourself whether or not to inject cross sex hormones and have your breasts and reproductive system removed. You apparently pondered this idea around age 22 after having just finished college, with the question of “If I were on a deserted island would I still want to transition?”

Wow!

Is this seriously what medical ethics promotes as a relevant and realistic question to ponder when one considers taking radical steps to medically alter their body in an attempt to superficially look like the opposite sex while simultaneously sterilizing themselves and damaging their tangible physical health via medications with lifelong, deleterious side effects? This question, with no basis in actual reality, is a valid consideration when evaluating when someone should reject their material existence?

When I spoke to you about my daughter’s other mental health conditions you dismissed them all saying, “She’s felt this way since she was nine,” and that my concerns could be set aside based on the fact that my daughter “is transgender” and that she should begin medical transition immediately.

When I very plainly stated that was not going to happen you responded with “That’s ok, the female body can still transition pretty well after puberty.”

It was almost as if you didn’t hear anything that I had been saying as the parent of my daughter for the entire time I was talking to you. As if, as someone who knew and loved and cared for my daughter more than anyone else in the world, my perceptions were meaningless and had no bearing on anything. That somehow this counselor who had spoken to my daughter for maybe 12 hours of her entire lifetime knew her better than her mother did, even though I had spent the entirety of her 118,260 hours on earth as her mother. In 0.0101% of the time, this counselor knew with certainty what was right for my daughter to “live as her authentic self”.

I can say with certainty this insight did help me.

It helped to snap me into the realization that I was NOT dealing with someone who shared my values, and who had obviously fallen victim to the sunk cost fallacy of gender ideology since they had already fully medicalized themselves.

It helped me to realize that my daughter had been speaking with someone who was not working within the same framework of reality that I was.

It helped me to realize it was going to take deliberate action to help my daughter get out of this self-destructive, delusional mindset or she could very well end up like this person.

I wonder what you would think of the fact that my 15-year-old daughter no longer identifies as trans and actually thinks that speaking with you was one of the most harmful things that ever happened to her.  Would it challenge your worldview to think about the fact that you actually tried to get a parent to agree to irreversibly medically damage their daughter’s body when she was only 13? Or would it just stiffen your perception that parents who oppose their teens desire for self-harm are bad people?

Are you concerned at all that you were wrong and I was right?

Will you ever reflect sufficiently to come to a greater awareness of the fact that what you decided to do to your own body has absolutely no bearing on the actual medical evidence that none of this is really an objectively helpful intervention for anyone, much less young people? I wonder the same about our medical institutions who teach, license and authorize people like you to work with our most vulnerable.

I’m guessing not, as when I look online I see you have a wait list for your “services.”

Thank goodness my daughter didn’t become your next biggest mistake.