Great letter ! You expressed your frustration with this uncaring and unprofessional person ! I would be burning with fury that she is still allowed to practice her dangerous “ therapy”! She is obviously ruining kid’s lives by not really listening to them! This person wants others to go through the same mutilation that she allowed to be done to here body? I wonder why? Maybe she should be called. The rapist?
You are so lucky that your daughter realized that she was not “in the wrong body”! Nobody is!
Suing these people is the only way to protect vulnerable children from the great harm from the gender ideology!
The movement is primarily driven by Narcisscistic cross-dressing men who want to legitimize their fetish through the medicalization of children.
If you hear TRA talk it is all about the propaganda of being born in the "wrong" body. How did that happen?
They cry for protecting kids - when it is actually kids working through natural adolescent angst, autistic social awkwardness and fear of change; childhood trauma; SA, prescribed drugs causing disassociation from their bodies, and the complications of being same sex attracted in a homophobic environment. The trans agenda is a dangerous smoke screen of the underlying issues
Suicidality is rampant among all kids - and specifically with gay kids. Instead of encouraging an accepting environment for NON medicalized gender non-conformity. They sell the kit to conform to the norms via drugs and surgery. Just change everything about your body and you are part of the new club of misfit toys.
And once they start & run into problems, complications or regrets - the love bombers forget who you are and push you out of the club.
This is how clubs run by a narcisscistic agenda/mission operate. These people don't give a DAMN about the kids!
So glad that your daughter is better. It would be great to know what it took to bring her back to herself. I haven’t seen any stories detailing what it takes to heal these kids and there is so much unhealthy pressure on them to stick with the trans identity.
Thank you for sharing and I am glad your daughter is safe. We have experienced the same. How can we expose & warn others from these harmful therapists without being accused of defamation? Thank you.
Profile of an MSW, LSW named Violet Vanilla Valley Free Spirit Counseling in Columbus, OH
"My clients are typically between the ages of 16 and 60. They are typically, but not exclusively, queer, trans, polyamorous, neurodivergent, or exploring identities. Clients come to me to receive coaching from someone who shares one or more of my identities. freespiritcounselingllc.com/violet-vanilla-valley-msw-lsw-she-they/
My approach is very integrative and person-centered, putting an emphasis on clients' narratives and perceptions of their selves and the world. I do this by fostering a relationship that supports clients in authoring narratives that serve their joy, ambition, and identity.
I am a trans, non-binary, autistic, polyamorous, queer, kinky, and leftist therapist. Meeting clients' cultural and intellectual needs in session is extremely important to me, so the practice of cultural and intellectual humility helps me bridge the divide between myself and my clients. Clients are the experts of their own lives, I am simply here to help."
"They are typically, but not exclusively, queer, trans, polyamorous, neurodivergent, or exploring identities."
Translation: "They grew up on Tumblr, TikTok, Snapchat, etc, were traumatized by early exposure to pornography, have nature-deficit disorder, likely cannabis-use disorder, and are so peer-attached they transition in groups."
Really, all this gobbledegook of violet vanilla , “ neuro divergent” queer, kinky, non- binary “ crap is actually hilarious nonsense ! “ intellectual humility “?what the hell,is that? It reads like a parody…maybe it is …hope it is !
This piece makes me nauseous because I am a licensed clinical social worker and this is a professional worst fear come to life. I know this is happening, but to read in plain words the breach of trust and insertion of this person's personal into the life of your daughter confirms the social work profession, mental health in general, has forsaken the fundamental values of knowing where the clinician ends and the client begins; we're not here to do the most good, we're here to do the LEAST HARM; and the importance of honoring cultural relevance and values meaning the child's and the family's not the provider's.
There was a time when social workers understood informed consent and protected children who are vulnerable because they cannot give it. There was a time when social workers would facilitate communication between the parents and child, know child development, be sympathetic to the challenges of parenthood and try to bring the family back together through education, communication, and respect for the family.
I've been a social worker for 20 years, named social worker of the year in my state. I was a professor in a Master of Social Work (MSW) program for four years, and I've supervised dozens upon dozens of students. When I left academia four years ago, gender-affirmation for youth was not part of the discussion. Maybe we were behind the times. I'm sad to say I may have supported it because it wasn't until a year and a half ago that I "peaked.”
One of the reasons I left my tenure-track position at the university is because I was disheartened by the very low acceptance and academic standards expected of graduate students. Many disagreements among faculty over who and who not to admit ended with the chair’s bottom line argument “we need to pay the bills” followed by a strengths-based chaser “all students are primed for growth therefore deserve an opportunity” to justify admitting some students who could not string five sentences together to form a coherent paragraph, let alone use critical judgment and a broad knowledge base to properly assess and assist people in crisis.
Recently the State of Ohio sought to ban gender-affirming care for youth. Out of curiosity, I did a Google search of transgender therapists (a likely set of keywords used by a desperate parent) to identify the providers working in this area. I was shocked at the profiles that surfaced on Psychology Today.com. One therapist described herself and her practice as such “Are you looking for a therapist with a rad mullet, a huge collection of cool glasses, and a passion for providing care to the LGBTQIA+ community? Well, you've come to the right place! I would be honored to join you on your healing journey. I am kink-informed, WPATH-informed, ethical nonmonogamy-informed, sex work- informed, and queer family-informed.”
This person conveniently “-informed” a whole new set of subspecialties that have no evidence base and no business existing in a credentialed clinical practice. The profile picture depicted an individual wearing big goofy glasses, a hat with a whirligig atop, an open-mouthed smile, and crazy eyes.
In my letter to Governor DeWine, I directed him to the website and this person’s profile in support of the argument that an audit of gender-affirming practices and clinicians should be initiated immediately. The Ohio State Legislature voted for the ban (thought Governor Dewine, a Republican, opposed it), the ACLU filed an appeal, but a judge upheld the ban. The “kink-informed” clinician’s profile is no longer on Psychology Today, and I’ve noticed the profiles appearing on the website appear more professional but still advertise gender-affirmation practices using euphemistic terms.
I currently work part-time for an online telehealth company. When I interviewed for the position, I was asked if I would treat clients under the age of 18. I responded that I would not see young people because I will not engage in gender-affirming practices, that I believe in the therapy first exploration model that involves family. To my surprise, the interviewer stated she understood my position, and I got the job.
At the risk of going on too long, I also must add I’ve had my own experience with terrible therapists, one involving my son. During COVID, my son developed an eating disorder, simply would not eat. Our family therapist downplayed his behavior, so did his pediatrician. Out of options, I went to Better Health for help. The counselor, who had a PhD and insisted on being called Dr “permitted” me to speak to her briefly before she met with my son. I explained his symptoms, and there on the spot without meeting him, she rendered a diagnosis of gender dysphoria. I nearly came out of my skin. Long story short, I told her she was engaging in malpractice. She told me I was likely a big part of his problem. Believe that? I wrote the company demanding my money back because they were not going to give it to me. I threated to contact every professional association under the blue sky, ASWB, NASW, AMA, APA, AAP, and so forth. They returned my money.
We need a collaboration of mental health professionals to share these stories with governing associations and accrediting bodies; state boards of social work, counseling and psychology, and state legislators. Let’s get this going. Let’s start now by printing this brave parent’s submission and sending it along with our professional concerns.
I agree with everything you say except one thing- quack as she might be, the counselor has every right to be called Dr. PhD is a higher degree than MD, and even the quack MDs are called Dr.
I agree. The other problem is neoliberal approach to higher education, run colleges like business where students are paying customers and professors not permit have standards. State legislators defunding higher education means more dependence on tuition increases and pro-forma (tuition-based) program models so need bodies in seats to pay the bills. It's a crap storm of reasons and bad outcomes.
The problem is that since NCLB (Bush) and RTtT (Obama), the emphasis was/is for EVERY kid to be college and career ready. That means that hordes of kids need places to go to college even if they aren't college material or even want to go to college. It seems that the "social" sciences (faux science IMHO) are where a large portion are ending up trying to get a degree. The standards of admission to colleges and universities has had to be dumbed down in order to accommodate all of these kids since Common Core (a part of the RTtT) brought down the educational standards in public schools (curriculum is now test prep for the stupid standardized tests and NOT real education anymore).
What is being pumped into college teaching programs and social work programs is a bunch of bunk curriculum that should be piled high and lit on fire. I really hate to say these things because I think both professions used to use best practices and were altruistic in nature.
Imagine a child with puberty anxiety who meets a person without parents' knowledge who tells them they may feel better wearing fetish clothing at school, to report back how they feel and not to tell their parents.
Then they tell them to adopt a fetish name and character at school, and threaten the school with legal action of child abuse if they don't recognize the fetish name and character. They ask for frequent updates on their sexual feelings with the fetish clothing and character.
Then they tell them about body modification and drugs to make the character more fun, and promise to help them get access to adults who can supply them with drugs and body modification as long as they keep telling them about their sexual feelings. They promise to instruct them to deceive doctors into providing them with drugs and surgeries. They may go so far as to pretend to be doctors and rehearse medical sexual conversations, its own distinct fetish.
Imagine this person introduces the child to other children in their sphere of influence, and adults, who reinforce the messages of fetishism, secrecy, and alienation of parental affection, but above all consistently demand the child keep telling them about their sexual feelings and experiences.
This person meanwhile has been grooming adults to accept child fetish behaviors as desirable, and best practice response to puberty anxiety. They groom adults to accept drug use as possibly temporary and innocuous. They groom adults to play to the fetishes and humor then child who has been primed by them to present sexual behavior they continually get reports on. They groom adults to accept medical sex conversations between their child and non-medical adults as normal.
These scenarios are synopses of writings of publicly shared child fetish pornography, a reflection of fantasies of people about many fetishes, but particularly trans. Fantasy life and sharing fantasies is one thing. Acting on it is quite another.
To me, realizing this behavior out of the context of fantasy is child abuse - no need to resort to a trans label. Adults should not speak to children about performing sexual behaviors without parental consent, ever.
The actions - recruiting children, convincing them to perform sexual activities and report back - are themselves predatory activity. The predator gains pleasure from merely talking to a child about doing this, and parental fright or cooperation are part of the sexual kick. The predator never need even meet the child.
I hope people will grasp that this is no different that an anonymous person on internet inducing a child to send nude pictures. There it's obviously criminal. But speaking and engaging in sexual talk with children is also a crime. And if telling a child to adopt specific fetish sexual behaviors isn't corruption of a minor, I don't know what is then.
There's such an arrogance among the "experts" that they know better than parents. The counselors, therapists, teachers, principals, and DEI officials know better about your children than you do.
I think it was conservative senator Phil Gramm who was arguing with one of these experts, who had the audacity to claim they cared more about Gramm's grandchildren than he did. Gramm countered with "Okay. What are their names?"
Praise God that this "therapist" (more like predator) didn't succeed with your daughter, but what about the countless ones she will succeed with. I guess misery loves company in this case.
Are you willing to share the state or province and name of this supposed therapist? I feel like she should be reported to the local medical board that she belongs to. These people have to be outed.
I am starting to be convinced that therapists and helpers who do this have their own misinformed Savior Complex. Its not about the children or young adults. Its about their need to save them. Its sick and sad on so many levels. A lot of counselors-and I am one-have their own mental health challenges. We need our own therapy and self honesty to help others.
Great letter ! You expressed your frustration with this uncaring and unprofessional person ! I would be burning with fury that she is still allowed to practice her dangerous “ therapy”! She is obviously ruining kid’s lives by not really listening to them! This person wants others to go through the same mutilation that she allowed to be done to here body? I wonder why? Maybe she should be called. The rapist?
You are so lucky that your daughter realized that she was not “in the wrong body”! Nobody is!
Suing these people is the only way to protect vulnerable children from the great harm from the gender ideology!
The movement is primarily driven by Narcisscistic cross-dressing men who want to legitimize their fetish through the medicalization of children.
If you hear TRA talk it is all about the propaganda of being born in the "wrong" body. How did that happen?
They cry for protecting kids - when it is actually kids working through natural adolescent angst, autistic social awkwardness and fear of change; childhood trauma; SA, prescribed drugs causing disassociation from their bodies, and the complications of being same sex attracted in a homophobic environment. The trans agenda is a dangerous smoke screen of the underlying issues
Suicidality is rampant among all kids - and specifically with gay kids. Instead of encouraging an accepting environment for NON medicalized gender non-conformity. They sell the kit to conform to the norms via drugs and surgery. Just change everything about your body and you are part of the new club of misfit toys.
And once they start & run into problems, complications or regrets - the love bombers forget who you are and push you out of the club.
This is how clubs run by a narcisscistic agenda/mission operate. These people don't give a DAMN about the kids!
So glad that your daughter is better. It would be great to know what it took to bring her back to herself. I haven’t seen any stories detailing what it takes to heal these kids and there is so much unhealthy pressure on them to stick with the trans identity.
Watch "Gender: A Wider Lens" podcast and they have lots of helpful information for parents. If you need more specific help/tips, let us know!
Thanks!
https://substack.com/inbox/post/148006920
https://substack.com/inbox/post/147427706
https://substack.com/inbox/post/147429067
Fantastically written
Excellent text. It shows clearly why we should all be fighting against this ideology based on beliefs rather than facts and science.
You're daughter is so fortunate to have escaped the indoctrination!
Thank you for sharing and I am glad your daughter is safe. We have experienced the same. How can we expose & warn others from these harmful therapists without being accused of defamation? Thank you.
Thankful you are a strong parent who was able to save your daughter from this awful situation. I’m so sorry she ever had to meet this ‘counselor’.
Profile of an MSW, LSW named Violet Vanilla Valley Free Spirit Counseling in Columbus, OH
"My clients are typically between the ages of 16 and 60. They are typically, but not exclusively, queer, trans, polyamorous, neurodivergent, or exploring identities. Clients come to me to receive coaching from someone who shares one or more of my identities. freespiritcounselingllc.com/violet-vanilla-valley-msw-lsw-she-they/
My approach is very integrative and person-centered, putting an emphasis on clients' narratives and perceptions of their selves and the world. I do this by fostering a relationship that supports clients in authoring narratives that serve their joy, ambition, and identity.
I am a trans, non-binary, autistic, polyamorous, queer, kinky, and leftist therapist. Meeting clients' cultural and intellectual needs in session is extremely important to me, so the practice of cultural and intellectual humility helps me bridge the divide between myself and my clients. Clients are the experts of their own lives, I am simply here to help."
Oh, Jesus! Violet Vanilla? Is this some sort of joke?
If only. She should have her license revoked for that alone. Oh wait she doesn't yet have a license. 🙄
In other words, grooming, although presented as authoring.
Precisely
Here is a related concern; https://open.substack.com/pub/oldschoolcounselor/p/are-american-gulags-for-those-improperly?r=z6l70&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
"They are typically, but not exclusively, queer, trans, polyamorous, neurodivergent, or exploring identities."
Translation: "They grew up on Tumblr, TikTok, Snapchat, etc, were traumatized by early exposure to pornography, have nature-deficit disorder, likely cannabis-use disorder, and are so peer-attached they transition in groups."
Really, all this gobbledegook of violet vanilla , “ neuro divergent” queer, kinky, non- binary “ crap is actually hilarious nonsense ! “ intellectual humility “?what the hell,is that? It reads like a parody…maybe it is …hope it is !
Dear Gawd yes you nailed it.
I mean, at least parents can know not to send there kids to this one.
This is an example of bad practice. All her identifiers are example of inserting herself no boundaries. Yeah steer clear but many will not know that.
This piece makes me nauseous because I am a licensed clinical social worker and this is a professional worst fear come to life. I know this is happening, but to read in plain words the breach of trust and insertion of this person's personal into the life of your daughter confirms the social work profession, mental health in general, has forsaken the fundamental values of knowing where the clinician ends and the client begins; we're not here to do the most good, we're here to do the LEAST HARM; and the importance of honoring cultural relevance and values meaning the child's and the family's not the provider's.
There was a time when social workers understood informed consent and protected children who are vulnerable because they cannot give it. There was a time when social workers would facilitate communication between the parents and child, know child development, be sympathetic to the challenges of parenthood and try to bring the family back together through education, communication, and respect for the family.
I've been a social worker for 20 years, named social worker of the year in my state. I was a professor in a Master of Social Work (MSW) program for four years, and I've supervised dozens upon dozens of students. When I left academia four years ago, gender-affirmation for youth was not part of the discussion. Maybe we were behind the times. I'm sad to say I may have supported it because it wasn't until a year and a half ago that I "peaked.”
One of the reasons I left my tenure-track position at the university is because I was disheartened by the very low acceptance and academic standards expected of graduate students. Many disagreements among faculty over who and who not to admit ended with the chair’s bottom line argument “we need to pay the bills” followed by a strengths-based chaser “all students are primed for growth therefore deserve an opportunity” to justify admitting some students who could not string five sentences together to form a coherent paragraph, let alone use critical judgment and a broad knowledge base to properly assess and assist people in crisis.
Recently the State of Ohio sought to ban gender-affirming care for youth. Out of curiosity, I did a Google search of transgender therapists (a likely set of keywords used by a desperate parent) to identify the providers working in this area. I was shocked at the profiles that surfaced on Psychology Today.com. One therapist described herself and her practice as such “Are you looking for a therapist with a rad mullet, a huge collection of cool glasses, and a passion for providing care to the LGBTQIA+ community? Well, you've come to the right place! I would be honored to join you on your healing journey. I am kink-informed, WPATH-informed, ethical nonmonogamy-informed, sex work- informed, and queer family-informed.”
This person conveniently “-informed” a whole new set of subspecialties that have no evidence base and no business existing in a credentialed clinical practice. The profile picture depicted an individual wearing big goofy glasses, a hat with a whirligig atop, an open-mouthed smile, and crazy eyes.
In my letter to Governor DeWine, I directed him to the website and this person’s profile in support of the argument that an audit of gender-affirming practices and clinicians should be initiated immediately. The Ohio State Legislature voted for the ban (thought Governor Dewine, a Republican, opposed it), the ACLU filed an appeal, but a judge upheld the ban. The “kink-informed” clinician’s profile is no longer on Psychology Today, and I’ve noticed the profiles appearing on the website appear more professional but still advertise gender-affirmation practices using euphemistic terms.
I currently work part-time for an online telehealth company. When I interviewed for the position, I was asked if I would treat clients under the age of 18. I responded that I would not see young people because I will not engage in gender-affirming practices, that I believe in the therapy first exploration model that involves family. To my surprise, the interviewer stated she understood my position, and I got the job.
At the risk of going on too long, I also must add I’ve had my own experience with terrible therapists, one involving my son. During COVID, my son developed an eating disorder, simply would not eat. Our family therapist downplayed his behavior, so did his pediatrician. Out of options, I went to Better Health for help. The counselor, who had a PhD and insisted on being called Dr “permitted” me to speak to her briefly before she met with my son. I explained his symptoms, and there on the spot without meeting him, she rendered a diagnosis of gender dysphoria. I nearly came out of my skin. Long story short, I told her she was engaging in malpractice. She told me I was likely a big part of his problem. Believe that? I wrote the company demanding my money back because they were not going to give it to me. I threated to contact every professional association under the blue sky, ASWB, NASW, AMA, APA, AAP, and so forth. They returned my money.
We need a collaboration of mental health professionals to share these stories with governing associations and accrediting bodies; state boards of social work, counseling and psychology, and state legislators. Let’s get this going. Let’s start now by printing this brave parent’s submission and sending it along with our professional concerns.
…speechless…
I agree with everything you say except one thing- quack as she might be, the counselor has every right to be called Dr. PhD is a higher degree than MD, and even the quack MDs are called Dr.
I agree. The other problem is neoliberal approach to higher education, run colleges like business where students are paying customers and professors not permit have standards. State legislators defunding higher education means more dependence on tuition increases and pro-forma (tuition-based) program models so need bodies in seats to pay the bills. It's a crap storm of reasons and bad outcomes.
The problem is that since NCLB (Bush) and RTtT (Obama), the emphasis was/is for EVERY kid to be college and career ready. That means that hordes of kids need places to go to college even if they aren't college material or even want to go to college. It seems that the "social" sciences (faux science IMHO) are where a large portion are ending up trying to get a degree. The standards of admission to colleges and universities has had to be dumbed down in order to accommodate all of these kids since Common Core (a part of the RTtT) brought down the educational standards in public schools (curriculum is now test prep for the stupid standardized tests and NOT real education anymore).
What is being pumped into college teaching programs and social work programs is a bunch of bunk curriculum that should be piled high and lit on fire. I really hate to say these things because I think both professions used to use best practices and were altruistic in nature.
An atrocity, a frightening story. Let's reflect.
Imagine a child with puberty anxiety who meets a person without parents' knowledge who tells them they may feel better wearing fetish clothing at school, to report back how they feel and not to tell their parents.
Then they tell them to adopt a fetish name and character at school, and threaten the school with legal action of child abuse if they don't recognize the fetish name and character. They ask for frequent updates on their sexual feelings with the fetish clothing and character.
Then they tell them about body modification and drugs to make the character more fun, and promise to help them get access to adults who can supply them with drugs and body modification as long as they keep telling them about their sexual feelings. They promise to instruct them to deceive doctors into providing them with drugs and surgeries. They may go so far as to pretend to be doctors and rehearse medical sexual conversations, its own distinct fetish.
Imagine this person introduces the child to other children in their sphere of influence, and adults, who reinforce the messages of fetishism, secrecy, and alienation of parental affection, but above all consistently demand the child keep telling them about their sexual feelings and experiences.
This person meanwhile has been grooming adults to accept child fetish behaviors as desirable, and best practice response to puberty anxiety. They groom adults to accept drug use as possibly temporary and innocuous. They groom adults to play to the fetishes and humor then child who has been primed by them to present sexual behavior they continually get reports on. They groom adults to accept medical sex conversations between their child and non-medical adults as normal.
These scenarios are synopses of writings of publicly shared child fetish pornography, a reflection of fantasies of people about many fetishes, but particularly trans. Fantasy life and sharing fantasies is one thing. Acting on it is quite another.
To me, realizing this behavior out of the context of fantasy is child abuse - no need to resort to a trans label. Adults should not speak to children about performing sexual behaviors without parental consent, ever.
The actions - recruiting children, convincing them to perform sexual activities and report back - are themselves predatory activity. The predator gains pleasure from merely talking to a child about doing this, and parental fright or cooperation are part of the sexual kick. The predator never need even meet the child.
I hope people will grasp that this is no different that an anonymous person on internet inducing a child to send nude pictures. There it's obviously criminal. But speaking and engaging in sexual talk with children is also a crime. And if telling a child to adopt specific fetish sexual behaviors isn't corruption of a minor, I don't know what is then.
It's not therapy, it's sex.
I don't want to disturb but you can examine the same fantasies I've glanced through.
https://www.nifty.org/nifty/transgender/
Talking to children about their sex lives is abuse.
There's such an arrogance among the "experts" that they know better than parents. The counselors, therapists, teachers, principals, and DEI officials know better about your children than you do.
I think it was conservative senator Phil Gramm who was arguing with one of these experts, who had the audacity to claim they cared more about Gramm's grandchildren than he did. Gramm countered with "Okay. What are their names?"
Wow. Heartbreaking.
Praise God that this "therapist" (more like predator) didn't succeed with your daughter, but what about the countless ones she will succeed with. I guess misery loves company in this case.
In order to protect other innocent lives, this “ the rapist “ should have her license revoked.
Are you willing to share the state or province and name of this supposed therapist? I feel like she should be reported to the local medical board that she belongs to. These people have to be outed.
I agree! These are dangerous people !
I am starting to be convinced that therapists and helpers who do this have their own misinformed Savior Complex. Its not about the children or young adults. Its about their need to save them. Its sick and sad on so many levels. A lot of counselors-and I am one-have their own mental health challenges. We need our own therapy and self honesty to help others.