Letter to Fr. James Martin, advocate for LGBTQ rights

Father James Martin, SJ is a Jesuit priest, best-selling author who has published 15 books, editor at large of American Magazine, and founder of Outreach. He attracts a large audience and promotes open dialogue on a variety of topics. Fr. Martin is open to criticism, but he is often attacked for his views on LGBTQ issues. His rules of engagement and those of America Magazine are:

• Let’s make this a good conversation

• Be charitable, be brief, and stay on topic

• No ad hominem attacks

• No uncharitable comments

• No homophobic comments

Below is a letter I shared with Fr. Martin about the T and Q (of LGBTQ) from the viewpoint of a parent with a gender confused child. I have not received a response. Please keep in mind these rules of engagement when commenting on this post – maybe he will get the message!

---

Dear Father Martin,

I am sure that you have received countless letters criticizing your support for LGBTQ people. I am a fan of your books and have read Building a Bridge. I agree with much of what you say, but I am often discouraged by your celebratory posts of the T (trans) and the Q (queer) of LGBTQ.

When I read Building a Bridge in 2017, I had only a vague understanding of trans ideology, much less for “queer”. Q. Since then, I have learned more than I ever wanted to know about this topic because my young adult son with mental health issues now identifies as trans.

I belong to a support group for parents of trans-identified young adult males. All the parents love their children, some use their son’s new name, a few even use preferred pronouns, others provide financial support. No one has disowned their child, although their children may have gone no contact. Our sons are almost universally brilliant, many are on the autism spectrum, and some suffer from ADHD, social anxiety, body dysmorphia, and/or depression; all of which have gone untreated as doctors push “gender affirming care”. Some of our sons are gay, some straight, and others seem to have no relationships at all beyond the internet.

The parents know that our sons are victims of the biggest medical scandal of our lifetime. The hormones and surgeries have terrible outcomes, leaving them in pain, incontinent, sterile, and sexually dysfunctional. They choose to become estranged from us, especially the mothers, because we represent the biological reality of sex.

For grieving parents, disbelief, fear, and sadness come in waves – sometimes overpowering us. Families fall apart. Siblings may also cut off non-affirming parents. When parents disagree on how to proceed, they may divorce. For parents who attend mainline Protestant churches that fly trans-progressive flags, they lose their faith community and even their faith.

This is no accident. The Q is not about the appropriation of a former slur but refers to queer theory which, “Positions itself in opposition to the normal. For queer theory, what is considered “normal” in society is actually oppressive, and true freedom requires breaking out of these oppressive norms”. Q is thus anti-family because we live in a society where families are normative.

T is also erroneously conflated with LGB, with the latter representing sexual orientation. Psychologists who work in this space explain that when they treat homosexuals, they often focus on self-acceptance. However, patients who identify as transgender are encouraged to change everything about themselves, but they will fail because no one can truly change their sex. Worse, this medicalization does not even provide relief from gender dysphoria and diagnostic overshadowing means the underlying mental health conditions go untreated.

I do believe that we should respect the civil rights of transgender people without encouraging them down this pathway. A tiny fraction of patients (and they will always be patients) may receive some comfort from undergoing medical treatment to change their secondary sex characteristics. But most of them will only experience trans joy briefly, and for those who bypassed the puberty of their natal sex, subjected themselves to years of hormones, or undergone irreversible surgeries, they will forever be in an in-between space. They should be welcomed in the Catholic Church, which teaches that the soul and body are inseparable.

I encourage you to consider the perspective of the parents and learn more about the harms of transgender medicalization. Please see a brief list of resources:

• For the parental perspective, see Parents with Inconvenient Truths about Trans Substack or Dr. Steven Levine’s presentation on the Dark Reality for Parents of Trans Identified Kids

• For evidence that medicalization of gender dysphoria does not improve mental health see The Cass Report on transgender services in the NHS of England

• Transgender people are not at higher risk for suicide than others with mental health comorbidities, and medicalization may even increase suicide risk (Michael Biggs, SEGM, and Finnish study).

• Medicalization is high risk for both natal females (Elaine Miller) and natal males (ROGDboys)

I encourage you to continue building a bridge without celebrating destructive trans-ideology.

Regards,

A grief-stricken mother who waits the return of her prodigal son.