Letting Go

For a bit of background, please read My Sweet Baby Boy, the first essay I wrote. I’m not going to talk about any of that in this essay. I’m going to share with you the wisdom that I have discovered and the positive effects it’s having on our family.

My journey (of positivity) started when I was searching for a psychologist to see for myself. I was at the lowest point I have ever been in my life. It was suggested that looking for a life coach was a good idea, as psychologists are bound by the conversion therapy laws.

My husband and I were invited to a dinner party and although I didn’t feel like going, I did. It was absolutely the best decision I have ever made! One of the guests at this dinner party asked me what I had been manifesting. I looked at her with surprise because I had never had anyone ask me this before. In further conversation, I discovered that she is an excellence coach. 

After the dinner, I kept thinking about her and finally worked up the courage to contact her. There was a small part of me that felt I didn’t deserve happiness, but I pushed past that feeling. If you are interested in working with her or finding out more about her programs, here is her website: extraordinarylife.courses. Her name is Jenifer Merifield and you will love her!

After the dinner party, I realized that I was holding onto so much anger and sadness. I took these steps to change that. 

1. I let go of everything that I was fighting against. I deleted Twitter, unfollowed the groups fighting against “Woke” people, stopped watching videos on Youtube, left support groups, and deleted anything on my phone or computer that held that negativity.  Almost the exact moment after I did this, I received a text from my son saying he was at his lowest point. I went to pick him up immediately and he chose to move home that day. We got all his stuff moved and into our home. 

2. I stopped trying to force my ideas and beliefs on him and started asking questions (Jenifer’s suggestion). Instead of trying to help him find the answers, I asked more questions to get him thinking and finding solutions for himself. Several things happened. He came to the realization that the nurse practitioner helping him, didn’t actually care about him at all. He was just a number at the clinic. He hasn’t stopped taking hormones yet, but it will come. He told me that he realized moving out was a mistake after not quite a month (he was gone 7 months). He said, although it was a bad living situation, he recognized that time and space was good for all of us. I agreed with that statement. He has come to many other realizations and shares these with me almost daily. Our family relationship has improved in such a positive way. That is priceless to me. These two points happened before starting to work with Jenifer with her suggestions.

3. I realized that if I was not well, I would not be able to care for anyone else, so that is the next step. It’s my time now and I am well on my way to becoming my absolute best self! I have finished half of a 12 week course and the changes in me are unbelievable. I hope that as you read this, you can feel the positivity I am sending you. The changes I am making daily are spreading through our house now. It is so much fun to watch. My son is making some positive gains and seems to be more positive most of the time. I keep asking questions and allowing him the opportunity to find his own solutions. Isn’t that what we want for our children? To be able to make good decisions and be independent. 

That’s it. It’s pretty simple when you read this. I promise you that if you let go of your anger and sadness and work towards being your best self that amazing things will happen. While I won’t respond to comments made on this essay, please know that I am sending my love and positivity to each and everyone of you! 

Here are some books I recommend for reading: Holding on to Your Kids by Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Mate, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, and The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman.