Michigan Clinic Offers Testosterone to 13-Year Old Girl at First Visit
This is a transcript of a Partners for Ethical Care (PEC) parent story. The original version can be found here, and the podcast version can be found here, as part of PEC’s podcast series, “The Witness: True Stories of Children and Gender Identity.
As an academically advanced student, my daughter never quite fit in with her peers. Social isolation, dealing with substantial losses in her short life, and entering puberty before she was emotionally ready were overwhelming. Searching the internet, reading tumblr, watching YouTube, and discovering porn led her to find the meaning to her discomfort – she was transgender. With more internet time her dysphoria worsened.
Thinking this was a gender issue we found a gender therapist to help her sort out her pain. Instead of exploring the root of her problems, this therapist just affirmed her identity as transgender. Within a couple of months, she guided her to “come out” at school, where she was applauded and told she was brave. She was only 12 years old. I only found out after the fact.
I went to the school counselor and asked why they would let this happen, why weren't her parents contacted to see “what issues” she may be going through? The school counselor relayed to me, “They're following the guidance passed in 2016, that parents are NOT to be NOTIFIED if a child self-identifies as a transgender.” Later I asked my child how her self-declaration at school was going, she replied, “It's fine, no one cares.” I find it deeply disturbing, NO ONE cares enough to consult with parents on what MY child was going through.
We also went to a gender clinic which affirmed and offered to prescribe my 13 year old daughter Testosterone – on that same day! In a private consultation of myself and this MD, who was NOT an ENDOCRINOLOGIST, she disclosed to me, "Our clinic is having a harder time distinguishing between 'real' and 'social influenced' trans kids.” I also asked her, “With no long term studies, you're giving young females an adult male hormone, how do you sleep with yourself at night”? Her reply, “It makes them SO HAPPY.”
Just wow. Why not give them opioids too? I mean. And, let's take them out of school and give them candy and have them stay online all day, if it makes them happy. What on earth is this????
I’m sorry that your dealing with this! I live in Michigan as well and have dealt with the same situation with my daughter in her school. My daughter was 14 when she secretively “socially transitioned” at her very small rural school. I only found out that she was leading a double life at school when a co-worker informed me of this, as her son went to the same school. Apparently there were a whole group of girls (all in my daughter’s friend group) that were identifying as trans and non-binary. Wouldn’t you think the school would have thought that this was a social contagion or a fad and maybe notified me of this? My daughter never showed any sign of having issues with her gender. Just a couple months before her “social transition” she asked for a finger nail kit and makeup for Xmas and was wearing feminine clothing. I joined a parent support group ASAP that advised me to stay away from gender clinics, thankfully. I’m familiar with the University of Michigan gender clinic and how they operate after researching. Since this incident I pulled my daughter out of this school and cut all social ties with this friend group. It has cost my family dearly in many ways. We now pay around $8,000 a year in for private school tuition and not to mention the mental anguish that we as parents deal with. It is outrageous that parents and children have to go through so much pain and hardships because school systems think it’s their “duty” to “protect” children identifying as trans ect. Had the school notified me of this, I could have gotten her the help that she needed sooner. My daughter also had other secrets… Since she “came out” she was cutting herself, threatening suicide, and had disordered eating. Since switching her schools and social group, she is much happier and is living life as a female. I do see signs at times that make me wonder if she is still thinking about her gender though…. Not a perfect ending but a work in progress I suppose. Best of luck to you and your family!