Those thoughts “no I like me.” I like this and that. I’m fun. I’m funny. I’ve been a good mom.
I’ve had those too! I feel like it’s healing from abuse. Narcissistic abuse. From someone in my past, from the child possessed by a narcissist cult. From narcissistic people in the healthcare system and public schools who said I wasn’t a good mom.
Your child will miss a lot. I hope you all can be reunited one day. And sooner than later.
This was beautifully written. It really captured my feelings. My daughter was kidnapped by this cult ten years ago. I was almost overcome by sadness yesterday and I didn't know why. Reading this I realized that one of my good friends got engaged and my daughter flooded my thoughts. What is her life going to be like? Will she find love? Will she come back to the mother that loves her more than she can know?
She has been binding (a barbaric practice that was banned long ago under other circumstances) for eight years and taking testosterone for four. She has been experiencing debilitating pain and her dr has diagnosed her with ehlers danlos syndrome. Of course, it couldn't be what she's doing to herself!
I pray for all of our children, that they will be freed from the clutches of those who want to harm them and return to the family that wants the best for them.
A "trans" declaration has such a sad and negative ripple effect that is so unnecessary. Kids are taught to ditch their parents and the life they had with them for some utopian promised land that is supposed to be better than the life and family they had before. So much loss for all involved...
My transgender child occupies most of my brainspace most of the time. I find my soul thinking about him constantly. We are in relationship, but I don't use his birthname, instead call him by a childhood nickname. I police my speech. It feels inauthentic to me. I love him. He's a grown adult. I just can't help myself. I guess that's mourning.
I am so sorry...it's been May 2023 since our 41 year old son called to tell us this was the answer for his mental distress...he cut us off also... I've worked in mental health and this blind sided us! I had been trying before Covid to get him to go to the Amen clinic near him and to go to counseling with me...we had a great family life with no risk factors...I have been through the grief process and now simply pray and wait.... you are not alone! Thousands of us🙏💕
I can relate to this. 6 years estranged for us and I imagine it's forever now. I too feel bad for our daughter and all that she is missing out on. I can't believe her life has been easy these past 6yrs. I can only imagine she has had to convince herself that we are monsters and life away from us is better than having us in it. My self esteem has been annihilated. I tried so hard to be the best mother I could be. Who knew a good mother would have been one who would lie to her and recommend harmful medications and surgeries!
We're on our second year of this lonely chapter. It's hard to believe she went from our very loved only daughter and youngest child to virtually gone overnight. I found an address in Sacramento through a once shared bank account. Aside from that, I've had to acknowledge being cornered by the trans cult in different ways. The cost of this will come out beyond heart break and only then, will the trans train begin to slow.
She has no life experience to understand what she has given up. But she has been shown love and family for the time that you had her. And I hope and I trust that she will return. It’s moments like this when we realize that prayer is the most powerful tool we possess. And who can thwart the prayers of the saints. I pray that she will return stronger and wiser, and that her life mission will be determined by the lessons she learns in this time of darkness. Please feel my virtual hug as from a sister
I will never get used to the heart-rending stories of abandoned parents, whose pain is raw and overflowing.
Of course you are trying to re-establish contact with her, with anyone who sees her, new teachers, anyone at all. If you succeed, please see this article: https://www.pittparents.com/p/helping-your-teen-leave-the-gender The therapist there asked the teen to bring to each session a "story from nature", which seems to me a most healthy request. Good luck! A thousand time Good Luck!
So much pain. Yes, she is missing out on beautiful things, on her family. The loving and solid foundation that you gave her will remain with her and hopefully will eventually guide her to what is right and back to her family.
Those thoughts “no I like me.” I like this and that. I’m fun. I’m funny. I’ve been a good mom.
I’ve had those too! I feel like it’s healing from abuse. Narcissistic abuse. From someone in my past, from the child possessed by a narcissist cult. From narcissistic people in the healthcare system and public schools who said I wasn’t a good mom.
Your child will miss a lot. I hope you all can be reunited one day. And sooner than later.
I'm sorry.
I´m so sorry, I know exactly how this grief feels, I pray for your beloved daughter, for your family and you. My heart goes out to you
This was beautifully written. It really captured my feelings. My daughter was kidnapped by this cult ten years ago. I was almost overcome by sadness yesterday and I didn't know why. Reading this I realized that one of my good friends got engaged and my daughter flooded my thoughts. What is her life going to be like? Will she find love? Will she come back to the mother that loves her more than she can know?
She has been binding (a barbaric practice that was banned long ago under other circumstances) for eight years and taking testosterone for four. She has been experiencing debilitating pain and her dr has diagnosed her with ehlers danlos syndrome. Of course, it couldn't be what she's doing to herself!
I pray for all of our children, that they will be freed from the clutches of those who want to harm them and return to the family that wants the best for them.
A "trans" declaration has such a sad and negative ripple effect that is so unnecessary. Kids are taught to ditch their parents and the life they had with them for some utopian promised land that is supposed to be better than the life and family they had before. So much loss for all involved...
My transgender child occupies most of my brainspace most of the time. I find my soul thinking about him constantly. We are in relationship, but I don't use his birthname, instead call him by a childhood nickname. I police my speech. It feels inauthentic to me. I love him. He's a grown adult. I just can't help myself. I guess that's mourning.
Sounds so familiar, especially about policing myself.
I am so sorry...it's been May 2023 since our 41 year old son called to tell us this was the answer for his mental distress...he cut us off also... I've worked in mental health and this blind sided us! I had been trying before Covid to get him to go to the Amen clinic near him and to go to counseling with me...we had a great family life with no risk factors...I have been through the grief process and now simply pray and wait.... you are not alone! Thousands of us🙏💕
praying and waiting, 1000s of us indeed. some days thankfully so busy, then tears and prayers at night
Don't be hard on yourself. It is his loss not yours. Protect the siblings.
I can relate to this. 6 years estranged for us and I imagine it's forever now. I too feel bad for our daughter and all that she is missing out on. I can't believe her life has been easy these past 6yrs. I can only imagine she has had to convince herself that we are monsters and life away from us is better than having us in it. My self esteem has been annihilated. I tried so hard to be the best mother I could be. Who knew a good mother would have been one who would lie to her and recommend harmful medications and surgeries!
7 years she’s turning 25 this month the hope that she will come to her senses quickly fading heart broken forever
We're on our second year of this lonely chapter. It's hard to believe she went from our very loved only daughter and youngest child to virtually gone overnight. I found an address in Sacramento through a once shared bank account. Aside from that, I've had to acknowledge being cornered by the trans cult in different ways. The cost of this will come out beyond heart break and only then, will the trans train begin to slow.
She has no life experience to understand what she has given up. But she has been shown love and family for the time that you had her. And I hope and I trust that she will return. It’s moments like this when we realize that prayer is the most powerful tool we possess. And who can thwart the prayers of the saints. I pray that she will return stronger and wiser, and that her life mission will be determined by the lessons she learns in this time of darkness. Please feel my virtual hug as from a sister
I like you too! 🌻
May it be
Your heart will be true
You walk a lonely road
Oh, how far you are from home
I will never get used to the heart-rending stories of abandoned parents, whose pain is raw and overflowing.
Of course you are trying to re-establish contact with her, with anyone who sees her, new teachers, anyone at all. If you succeed, please see this article: https://www.pittparents.com/p/helping-your-teen-leave-the-gender The therapist there asked the teen to bring to each session a "story from nature", which seems to me a most healthy request. Good luck! A thousand time Good Luck!
So much pain. Yes, she is missing out on beautiful things, on her family. The loving and solid foundation that you gave her will remain with her and hopefully will eventually guide her to what is right and back to her family.