31 Comments

Exactly! Exactly how I feel. Thank you.

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Ogni volta che leggo una delle vostre storie ci rivedo un po' la mia con mia figlia quello che trasuda da tutte le storie è il dolore la compassione e l'amore immenso che noi madri abbiamo per i nostri figli

Sono sicura e lo voglio sperare che capiranno un giorno l'amore autentico e indissolubile e si riavvicineranno a noi ❤️

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This is so painful & beautiful to read. The fatal flaw of this gender movement will be underestimating the parent-child bond. We will never back down. Knowing what I know now from parents like you inspires me. I cannot imagine the pain of seeing your child suffer like this.

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What has helped me most is maintaining a lens of gratitude. I can rage against the establishment along with the best of them, but it doesn't solve anything in my house--if anything, it strains the attachment with my child. I truly am grateful for what this experience has demanded of me along with the awareness it's provided. What I've discovered time and time again in my relationship with my daughter is that when I show up with reactive fear I drive her away. When I'm able to stay conscious and grounded in trust that she'll be just fine, she's doing what she feels she needs to do to get through this phase of her life, then she responds to that energy in kind. Definitely still painful to see her suffer, and fear still grips me more frequently than I'd like to admit. I so agree with you that what will take this movement down will be the families. Even those that seem totally broken right now--as long as these kids feel they can "come home" I believe virtually all of them eventually will.

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Dec 3, 2021Liked by PITT

I do hope that you don't blame yourself because you needed to return to work and couldn't be there for your daughter 24/7. Few of us have such a luxury. Watching our children mature and separate from us is challenging, yet inevitable and necessary. How could you possibly have known about the sinkhole of evil seducing your daughter right under your nose?

You're right to point out the cultural misogyny underlying the motivation of young girls who seek to transition. If ever there was a fundamentally feminist issue, it's this one (regardless of the sex of our child). Yet, the number of feminists and lesbians who support this cult of mutilation and child abuse today is truly mind-boggling. Feminism is not what it once was. It's morphed into a sister cult to transism. Modern feminists deny the fact that men and women are different in many respects -- as well as alike in others. They believe that sex is a construct, and that only gender is real. This makes as much sense as debating how many angels can dance on the head of a pin.

Your description of the immutable bond you share with your daughter comes directly from the fact that we are mammals, primates -- sentient, feeling human animals who live in and through our bodies. We deny this fundamental reality at our peril.

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I don't blame myself. I think most of us thoughtful parents have spent considerable time and energy wracking our brains for pivotal moments we might have navigated differently and I'm sure we all have them. AND here we are in this moment in this particular mess that I now believe is just the time and culture we've birthed our children into. If there were such a thing as perfect parenting, the sensitive, quirky children of those perfect parents would still be vulnerable to this time and ideology.

Prior to this experience with my teen, I would not have described myself as a feminist. I meant the gratitude I expressed in the letter that has brought these issues of protecting women's access to the world into sharp focus for me. If I read you correctly, I would agree that feminism is somewhat complicit in this current state of affairs by denying these biological differences between the sexes. Hopefully this collective delusion will crumble while there's still something to salvage of our humanity.

I believe that we evolved into creatures that were once connected in ways that would now seem magical. We can look at preconquest groups and get just the faintest sense of how it was to exist in that way. I think the closest we get to that consciousness now is the mother/child bond that seems to be the final frontier for the modern conquistadors. They can't take it for themselves, so they'll do their damnedest to destroy it.

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Yeah, I left a career and stayed home with my children as a somewhat older mother. I thought I was doing a good job. Our family was hit by this, too. Who would have guessed something so weird and contrary to reality would take hold of our world?

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I'm sure you were doing a good job. When we throw our hearts into it, that's all we can do. And then buckle up for the ride. What more intense experience is there than parenting? Let us all grow into our strongest, most compassionate selves as a result of this journey with our amazing kids!

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Poetic and beautiful. My experience with my daughter mirrors yours. It is as if we travelled the same road. My child is going in and out of desistance. She is dipping her toes in and out of the reality pool. May she dive in soon as I hope all of our precious children do. Thank for sharing such an eloquent piece.

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This is so hopeful! May they all dive in soon.

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Thank you for writing thoughts which I share with you. The intense emotions of rage and pain we mothers feel, I understand.

Our daughters have been groomed and blindly led by internet forces beyond our control. How do we fight this powerful madness?

My daughter will always be my daughter. I told her so before she left home. The world calls her a man. The world has just tried to redefine a man as anyone who wants to be a “man”. Stupid.

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We fight like we're doing. We don't let them break our connection with our children. She will always be your daughter. She knows she can always come home.

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Every day is a battle. I am living with my daughter.

After looking after a dementia sufferer, I see a similarity. To avoid upsetting the client I had to avoid challenging the client’s delusions.

Out trans identified children are suffering a “mental condition” which is promoted by society. The mental health services no longer recognise transgenderism as a pathology.

We are expected to believe in “sex change” because some idiots thought “ gender” meant the same as “sex”. They want to enforce their belief on others. The word “gender” has been made meaningless. Confusion reigns.

Staying strong means we keep believing truth, quietly for our safety. We know sex change is biologically impossible. What we are seeing is sterilisation in disguise.

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Thank you for writing this wonderful piece which speaks for so many of us. That really resonated about avoiding life's intensity and being a divergent thinker. That's my girl! I understand teen girls need to individuate. Like you, I know our mother-daughter connection is deeper and stronger than these messages "coming at her from a broken civilization". Who would have predicted that a mother would need to re-enforce what a boy and a girl are after puberty? I recognize strength and courage in my daughter and I can see that the cognitive dissonance is exhausting.

Every word of your paragraph which includes "Their testosterone shows." is brilliantly spot on. Indeed, our daughters are vulnerable young women trying to shield their hearts and we do not want them to blame themselves when they wake up. These billionaire men are not vulnerable young women.

Beep/Bop/Boop.

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When they wake up, we'll wrap them in the warmth of mother's love, and that's when it will hit them what womanhood is.

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Beautiful and bittersweet words.

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Dec 3, 2021Liked by PITT

❤️

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Dec 3, 2021Liked by PITT

This beautiful, eloquent letter made me weep also. I am sending it to all the strong mothers and young women I know. Thank you for articulating this deep truth. I hope your daughter can feel your immense love and find her way out of this cult.

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Thank you! I trust that my girl does feel my immense love (and it takes so much work to stay in trust) and that she'll find her way out (eventually). I think this experience has actually brought us closer (though she'd deny this.) She's going through a normal, expected individuation process that has been perverted by a sick, crumbling culture. I have absolute certainty that she'll emerge out the other side of this nightmare a mighty, self-aware woman to be reckoned with (like the courageous detransitioners who never fail to blow my mind.) She'll be 18 next summer which means her most vulnerable years are ahead of us. I just hope (grant me the serenity...) that her body doesn't suffer too much harm at the hands of the misguided/ignorant/greedy "saviors" eagerly awaiting her age of consent (yet still developing brain.) Like all of us here, I'm caught in the wild dance of hyper conscious parenting, managing mama bear tendencies and allowing her journey while still seizing every moment of connection I can. I think Helena aptly called it, "emotional jui-jitsu".

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Dec 3, 2021Liked by PITT

Thank you for sharing this. I’ve been drafting a letter to my son also. One I hope to give you him soon. ❤️❤️❤️

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I have not given her this letter. She's not of a mind to receive these thoughts as I intend them. Right now, she'd consider this toxic transphobia. I give her other letters though. :)

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Yes, Mom. Yes, Ma'am. GO.

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I love this! Let's GO!

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Dec 3, 2021Liked by PITT

Wow. This is our story too. Thank you

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This is so beautiful. I sobbed the whole way through. Praying for positive outcomes for you and your daughter. A mother's love is really really powerful.

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What an amazing experience we get as mothers! I try to embrace the intensity. Thank you so much for your prayers.

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This is the most powerful essay on the topic I have ever read. We must continue to fight for the future of all our daughters and all our sons.

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I am humbled by this. I can't express enough gratitude for PITT and this platform to share our stories and connect us all. In solidarity for our children.

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Wow. Just wow. And thank you.

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