Online Trans Ideology

I am an 18-year-old desister and, like most people my age, have had a great deal of exposure to the internet from a very young age. Various internet sources have created a narrative around trans ideology that many kids grew up on and therefore find it hard to question. I am going to explore various internet sites and resources and their messaging encouraging trans ideology, ranging from misinforming to abuse and danger.

A note about social media..

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As social creatures, people need social connection and a sense of belonging. It is deeply connected to our sense of safety, being alone or rejected is dangerous and leaves us feeling vulnerable. Maslow's hierarchy of needs theory suggests that without social belonging we cannot focus on our personal growth and performance in our life because we feel unsafe. Social needs sit right above our safety and basic physical needs.

Many kids (and adults) who are feeling isolated or lacking social connection turn to social media to fill that role. Many people find it easier to befriend people and talk online. They worry less about social rules and judgement from others, which can be especially helpful for people with anxiety or other social struggles. Unlike at school or an in-person social circle where you just have to hope people are interested in the same things you are, you can talk to a wide variety of people from around the world online so many are bound to be interested in what you want to talk about. A problem that might seem too personal to discuss in person is shared by people online due to the sheer amount of internet users. People who lack social connection in person are likely to turn to online relationships through social media.

It’s not only isolated people who use social media. Pressure from existing friends to use social media can draw kids in. You don't want to be the only person in your group not "in" on something, because that can lead to rejection and like I've said rejection feels dangerous. It's also usually not enough to just have family as a teenager. Teenagers naturally want to branch away from their family so they can develop their independence. It is natural at that age to be skeptical of your family and rely more on your friends, teachers, or online communities for social connection, advice, and morals. Many also use social media just for the fun of it. There is an abundance of meme videos, funny discussions, fandom groups about video games, shows, and hobbies, and talking with friends when you can't be with them in person. It's not entirely dangerous but there are many dangerous aspects of the internet and it is not the fault of kids or often even their parents when kids fall into dangerous ideology, trans or otherwise. Nobody is immune to manipulation, especially not kids.

Reddit

Reddit is a widely used social media app and website. Reddit discussions are divided into topic groups called subreddits, and within those subreddits are specific titled discussions. Like many social media sites there is also private messaging. Subreddits and discussion titles are easy to look up so the information and posts are usually very public and easy to find. A lot of reddit subgroups are innocent and harmless, unrelated to trans ideology or even politics at all, ranging from fandoms to memes to life advice and stories. However, many have described Reddit as an "echo chamber" politically, with some spaces being intolerant of other political opinions even in subreddits you would think would have nothing to do with politics.

A google search of a trans-related question can easily point you to a reddit thread from a larger trans subreddit. While you can find people criticizing trans ideology on reddit, there are certain spaces that are very affirming and claim that people who criticize trans ideology hate you, are nazis, or want genocide against transgender people. Users on these subreddits makes posts celebrating their surgeries like vaginoplasties, double mastectomies, and phalloplasties, as well as post about trans people who have been hurt, killed, or who have committed suicide, as well as vandalism against people pride flags to further push or "prove" that there is a genocide against transgender people.

One post is titled "if you need to know if you're transgender" with a link to amitransgender.net . If you go to this site it says "yes." in bold, before linking to further resources. One of the resources is "8 signs and symptoms of gender dysphoria", which on this resource includes feeling like you have no purpose in life, feeling like you are different from other people, and feeling worse during puberty. All of these are normal and are certainly no indication that you would only be happy with yourself if you transition, yet that is what this advocacy pushes.

Tumblr

A lot of trans ideology as well as other disturbing content thrives on Tumblr. Detransitioner Laura Becker discusses trans ideology content and culture on Tumblr in this video. Tumblr engages strongly in cancel culture of its users, and any user who says anything against trans ideology will be shunned and users will attempt to bully this user off the platform. People who are against trans ideology are highly vilified on Tumblr. As Laura describes it Tumblr is a place where mentally ill people and outcasts keep each other company, and so users probably feel as though nobody will accept them outside of Tumblr and therefore wouldn't try to say anything that would get them rejected by what they see as their only community.

TrevorSpace

TrevorSpace is a forum website for 13-25-year-old LGBTQ people affiliated with the Trevor Project. Their website and crisis counselors will recommend people to go to TrevorSpace as a support community. The site has no age verification; I started using it at 12 and I’m sure I’m not the only one who lied about their age to join. From my experience the community at first is very affectionate and love bombing but they take away that affection whenever someone says something that the general site doesn't like. Do keep in mind that a good chunk of the users likely found this site from a suicide hotline crisis counselor. I thought that this community were the only people who could possibly care about me because of the sites advertising as being a safe space, and later trans ideology saying that anyone who didn't affirm hated me and wanted me to suffer. It was their affection that kept me hooked and the fear of its absence that made me watch my mouth for anything they wouldn't like.

The content on TrevorSpace is very disturbing looking back. There are a lot of posts suggesting a trans genocide and fearmongering already suicidal kids and young adults. Adult users would encourage teenagers to use "diy hormones" claiming it saved their life. Back when I was on my friend at the time got "canceled" by the site for not regularly wearing a mask when in his country at that time wearing a mask was very uncommon. He was already suicidal and depressed, we talked about that a lot together. I remember a specific teenage user would post about herself harm cutting habit and make posts saying she was gonna cut herself and that nobody could stop her, making concerning posts that she was going to cut herself deep enough to see her fat layer and along with pictures of beans. It scared the crap out of a lot of users including myself again keep in mind we were all mentally ill too. Many users tried to stop her but they could not. The moderators didn't say anything. Actually, it was pretty common for moderators not to do anything when there was a problem. There was another incident where a user joined the site and started mass banning people's accounts because if an account was reported a certain number of times, it was automatically banned. From what people said he was also bullying people but I don’t know what he did. The moderators did nothing because it was a weekend and they don't work weekends. That fact is concerning enough, as the incident could have been a lot worse than just account bans given that a large portion of the site is mentally ill and suicidal. Another user begs moderators not to remove a post warning users about a user who was allegedly abusing them, as well as saying that his username needed a trigger warning. Another user claims to have seen a lot of pedophiles on the site, which is not surprising considering the site is designed to be a mix of adults and vulnerable kids and there is no age verification.

TikTok

TikTok is a video sharing platform with a variety of videos, including many surrounding trans identity and ideology. Content celebrating trans people including trans kids, coming out videos, videos celebrating and encouraging medicalization, and videos suggesting "trans genocide" and other fearmongering are common.

Desister Forest Van Slyke shares her experience with TikTok

"TikTok was designed to be addictive. The algorithm shows you more and more content that you like. I kept seeing trans content, and in this content, people said, “If you see trans content, it’s because you’re trans.” My brain became stuck on a loop. It was all I thought about. People told me to cut out anyone who wasn’t supportive, so the only people I talked to were also trans. I talked to autistic, trans life coaches who also reinforced these ideas. Then my therapist affirmed them. Then my doctor prescribed testosterone. Then the govt. put me on a waiting list for top surgery. Nobody actually helped me."

Discord

Discord is unique in that it’s less of a social media app and more of a private messaging app. You can only join chats by being invited to them, and many chats are innocent and harmless such as chats between friends in person, or fandom and meme groups with users online. However, because it is a lot more private a lot more nefarious activity takes place on discord, and a mutual friend either in person or online can invite you to a group chat with groomers, pedophiles, or abusive people. Because discord is private you can send and receive explicit images and messages with predators as well as have them send you things like "diy hormones". With the narrative that parent who don't affirm are abusive and want to hurt you, it's easy for a predator to exploit this and ask for an address to pick you up or for you to go to if you'd rather "live with them". This isn't as easy on general social media as it is usually monitored for predators to some extent although sometimes not well. There is a reporting feature on discord but groomers start with kindness and affirmation to get you to get your guard down, so that you don't see it as a threat when they start to act inappropriate. When I was browsing my old socials to attempt to get evidence of things I saw, I saw messages from people I thought I trusted that were very inappropriate and creepy. But I did not feel this way at the time at all because these people started off by being very nice to me and establishing themselves as "safe". Even now despite how I feel about the messages I don’t know how to feel about this person, because of how he treated me before I’m reluctant to call this person a groomer. Which is the goal of groomers.

Final note

A lot of people who are aware of this internet activity and behavior say to never allow your kids on social media. I want to agree but it’s worth mentioning that I accessed all of this as a child while technically not being allowed on social media. I think there needs to be a more effective solution but I don't have one. I truly wish I did and I wish I had a solution for people struggling right now. But for now, I will do what I can which is make people aware of internet behavior and how kids and adults come to believe harmful things that you can't imagine how they don't see right through.