Just wow. Thank you so much for publishing this. Desisters, you included, are such an inspiration to me. The story you have is powerful. Thank you for being a part of this group.
My university (Oregon State University) used to have a discord chat linked to the pride center website. When it was around (prior to 2023 I think) it was a cesspool of radicalization to an insane degree. Pronouns you’ve never heard or don’t know how to pronounce, moderators affirming and encouraging every kind of delusion. I wish I took screenshots because at this point it would have been super damning stuff for the university to be involved it. At some point they shut it down “for no reason”. I’m sure my university was not or is not the only one to run such a discord chat.
Thank you for writing this. When people throw around terms like TERF I don't know what they are talking about. As painful as it is reading this, I see it as mandatory self education as a parent and a grandparent'.
After identifying as trans and desisting I have learned a lot of terminology so I can usually "decode" some phrases that some people think is just gibberish. TERF stands for trans exclusionary radical feminist, the original phrase meaning a feminist who does not see male to female trans people as women and sees them as a threat to women by being male. Nowadays people call anyone who questions trans ideology a terf so its pretty much lost all meaning but in function now is equivalent to transphobic. Some people don't take offense to being called that anymore and even label themselves a terf. Some other ones ive seen that you may want to know. "Egg cracking" is what they call getting someone to "find out" that they're trans. "Egg" means someone who "is trans but does not know it yet", and the cracking part is essentially convincing someone they are actually trans. Tuscum means someone who believes you need gender dysphoria to be trans, tucute is someone who believes you don't need gender dysphoria to be trans. Mtf and trans women refer to men identifying as women, ftm and trans man is women identifying as men. In the closet is you haven't told people yet, gay people use this term as well. I'm sure there's a lot more that I'm not thinking of at the top of my head right now. I probably don't know them all I doubt anybody does but I would definitely say to look up any terms you don't know. It's easy to hide something insane by just making it a word or term that very few people know.
Thank you so much for your very informative and well-written article! This is exactly the sort of information I've been hoping to see an article on. I especially appreciated that you listed all the major sites that youth are getting indoctrinated and manipulated on. Where there's exposure and sunlight, there are opportunities to create change. Discord sounds particularly dangerous and needs this exposure for how it creates danger, as well as TrevorSpace and it's terrible moderation.
You are an excellent writer. I look forward to reading and hearing more from you, online, and hopefully speaking to legislative bodies. They need to hear what you are reporting here. I'm glad you're connected to Laura Becker. Perhaps she can mentor you on finding public speaking opportunities and getting heard. Also, are you on YouTube?
Hi I am not yet on youtube but thats a good idea to have more of a reach. I am on twitter which is linked to this account and I have written previous articles if you want to learn more, I restack them all on this account
I wish I had a straightforward answer to this but a lot of why I desisted was situational, I didn't have anyone in my life affirming me at the time, my family was never affirming and I don't live in a "sanctuary state" as I don't believe you can get your kids taken for not affirming here. Also for personal reasons at the time I was disinterested in socializing to a point of isolation so I was no longer with this "community". All that was working in my favor so its hard to say what to do when its not. What I will say is because of the not affirming = abuse narrative it can be hard to consider differening opinions when you're in that mindset. I discuss it more in another article which I can link for you. So I think something that helped me and can probably help other kids is to teach them not to fear other options. Engage with content you disagree with, hopefully to a point where you can consider what they are saying and decide for yourself if you think its legitimate or not but even just "hate watching" stuff was a start for me. Debating helps too when you debate with someone the flaws of both arguments are on full display. I also think it would help to teach them how to spot manipulation either from their peers, adults, or ideology. Know how to spot true friends because they actually like you as a person not only when you say and do only what they want. If they turn on you when you disagree with them they are not a friend. From my experience it is better to be alone than with bad company. Dealing with comorbidities can help too a very high percent of trans identified kids struggle with their mental health. What appears as gender dysphoria could be depression or anxiety symptoms being blamed on dysphoria. Stuff like self hatred, disliking your body or your voice, wanting a new identity, social isolation, suicidal ideation and self harm, etc. When you're in a depression type mindset and transitioning is presented to you as the only solution of course you would fight for it. But if there isn't much wrong in the first place then there is less of a desire for that. That's what I'll say on that and I'll link the article I mentioned in the next comment
Another note on what I said about comorbidities regarding self harm specifically which people do for many reasons and can be cause by many psychiatric disorders. I was part of a study with Mental Health America and I learned some interesting stuff about self harm as in it can manifest in ways you don't expect. Beyond obvious self inflicted injury people have said they they will get piercings or tattoos not for the look but as a way of harming themselves, knowing it would hurt and be permanent physically. As well as just not being cautious or caring for your life or if you get injured. Stuff like reckless driving or spending, picking fights with people not watching your own safety. Given the high comorbidity with trans and other mental health conditions, while this may not be the case for everyone, I see no reason why "gender affirming care" couldn't be something similar to that for some people
This is excellent. Very helpful in explaining the on-ramp that so many kids have taken. Congratulations to you on finding a way off, and for learning to trust yourself. The second half of the story is alluded to in the quote from Forest about all the adults and professionals that affirmed the trans identity, thereby failing to address the original problem and medicalizing it instead. Yes, online predators and social media are a problem and parents absolutely need to be aware of this, however, I think the vast majority of parents and general public do not understand or believe how devastating the role of affirming teachers, therapists, doctors, and adults in general have been to kids who, for one reason or another took this on-ramp. Everyone is so busy displaying their kindess and acceptance that they failed to really listen to these kids and to sit with them in their discomfort, using their adult faculties to support the pain but insist on reality, and in the case if doctors- uphold their pledge to 'do no harm.' Social media and predators and never going away, but we can hold licensed professionals accountable.
Agreed. It makes it hard to hold the line. We were never the enemy & the post tells it like it is. Vulnerable…growing up..a friend that doesn’t challenge you. Only going to get worse with AI.
Thanks to the author for bravely outlining the dangers that lurk on our kids’ phones and laptops. I recently read a book called Blood Money by an author named Peter Schweizer. Admittedly the book was quite partisan in its approach, but it made a strong case that the Chinese government actively stokes online activities that target American and western youth with propaganda and ideology that tears at the fabric of our families. One example I read from the book was how in China, their local version of TikTok is pretty innocuous. It shows Chinese kids science challenges, cat videos and generally more wholesome content. But in America, TikTok feeds our kids a steady stream of trans ideology, inappropriate violent videos from war zones and mind grease that affects kids’ ability to stay focused.
Congratulations on your desisting - it was not an easy decision to decide that you were trans, and it was not an easy decision to realize you are not trans and to walk it back. Thank you for all your sharing and research. This was very informative, and I will pass it on to other parents who have little children. The internet can be very dangerous and influential to any innocent mind that is searching for answers. We all want to be accepted, loved, and appreciated - these sites that you explained can be very intriguing and manipulative to anyone that is seeking a connection. The predators really scare me. Yikes! How do we really protect our children from the lurking harm out in this world? I worry about my 5-year-old granddaughter.
Trans social media influencers gather followers, normalizes and glamorizes the effects of cross-sex hormones and surgeries then encourages others to medicalize. They then rally and leverage their followers to berate and threaten non-affirming parents. It is a vicious group that seems to have lost all empathy and moral behavior. It is all about them and what they want. The ability to see a ripple effect or consequences beyond themselves is missing.
Some people might label such behavior as narcissistic. But the ironic part of this story is the trans identifying kid/social media influencer projects themselves onto the parent and calls them narcissistic. It is a wicked game of alienation, and the only thing a parent can do if they find themselves in this abusive situation is to walk away from the game and their kid for self-preservation.
Just wow. Thank you so much for publishing this. Desisters, you included, are such an inspiration to me. The story you have is powerful. Thank you for being a part of this group.
My university (Oregon State University) used to have a discord chat linked to the pride center website. When it was around (prior to 2023 I think) it was a cesspool of radicalization to an insane degree. Pronouns you’ve never heard or don’t know how to pronounce, moderators affirming and encouraging every kind of delusion. I wish I took screenshots because at this point it would have been super damning stuff for the university to be involved it. At some point they shut it down “for no reason”. I’m sure my university was not or is not the only one to run such a discord chat.
Thank you for writing this. When people throw around terms like TERF I don't know what they are talking about. As painful as it is reading this, I see it as mandatory self education as a parent and a grandparent'.
After identifying as trans and desisting I have learned a lot of terminology so I can usually "decode" some phrases that some people think is just gibberish. TERF stands for trans exclusionary radical feminist, the original phrase meaning a feminist who does not see male to female trans people as women and sees them as a threat to women by being male. Nowadays people call anyone who questions trans ideology a terf so its pretty much lost all meaning but in function now is equivalent to transphobic. Some people don't take offense to being called that anymore and even label themselves a terf. Some other ones ive seen that you may want to know. "Egg cracking" is what they call getting someone to "find out" that they're trans. "Egg" means someone who "is trans but does not know it yet", and the cracking part is essentially convincing someone they are actually trans. Tuscum means someone who believes you need gender dysphoria to be trans, tucute is someone who believes you don't need gender dysphoria to be trans. Mtf and trans women refer to men identifying as women, ftm and trans man is women identifying as men. In the closet is you haven't told people yet, gay people use this term as well. I'm sure there's a lot more that I'm not thinking of at the top of my head right now. I probably don't know them all I doubt anybody does but I would definitely say to look up any terms you don't know. It's easy to hide something insane by just making it a word or term that very few people know.
Thank you for writing this 💕 May you be a pioneer in ethics & guiding social media for the next generation
Thank you so much for your very informative and well-written article! This is exactly the sort of information I've been hoping to see an article on. I especially appreciated that you listed all the major sites that youth are getting indoctrinated and manipulated on. Where there's exposure and sunlight, there are opportunities to create change. Discord sounds particularly dangerous and needs this exposure for how it creates danger, as well as TrevorSpace and it's terrible moderation.
You are an excellent writer. I look forward to reading and hearing more from you, online, and hopefully speaking to legislative bodies. They need to hear what you are reporting here. I'm glad you're connected to Laura Becker. Perhaps she can mentor you on finding public speaking opportunities and getting heard. Also, are you on YouTube?
Thanks again!
Hi I am not yet on youtube but thats a good idea to have more of a reach. I am on twitter which is linked to this account and I have written previous articles if you want to learn more, I restack them all on this account
thank-you for writing this up and publishing it here on PITT.
This is very serious and very sobering. My teen-age son was captured by this type of on-line behavior and is still indoctrinated.
How did you break free from these beliefs? Is there anything a parent can do to help a teen or young adult come to their senses?
I wish I had a straightforward answer to this but a lot of why I desisted was situational, I didn't have anyone in my life affirming me at the time, my family was never affirming and I don't live in a "sanctuary state" as I don't believe you can get your kids taken for not affirming here. Also for personal reasons at the time I was disinterested in socializing to a point of isolation so I was no longer with this "community". All that was working in my favor so its hard to say what to do when its not. What I will say is because of the not affirming = abuse narrative it can be hard to consider differening opinions when you're in that mindset. I discuss it more in another article which I can link for you. So I think something that helped me and can probably help other kids is to teach them not to fear other options. Engage with content you disagree with, hopefully to a point where you can consider what they are saying and decide for yourself if you think its legitimate or not but even just "hate watching" stuff was a start for me. Debating helps too when you debate with someone the flaws of both arguments are on full display. I also think it would help to teach them how to spot manipulation either from their peers, adults, or ideology. Know how to spot true friends because they actually like you as a person not only when you say and do only what they want. If they turn on you when you disagree with them they are not a friend. From my experience it is better to be alone than with bad company. Dealing with comorbidities can help too a very high percent of trans identified kids struggle with their mental health. What appears as gender dysphoria could be depression or anxiety symptoms being blamed on dysphoria. Stuff like self hatred, disliking your body or your voice, wanting a new identity, social isolation, suicidal ideation and self harm, etc. When you're in a depression type mindset and transitioning is presented to you as the only solution of course you would fight for it. But if there isn't much wrong in the first place then there is less of a desire for that. That's what I'll say on that and I'll link the article I mentioned in the next comment
Another note on what I said about comorbidities regarding self harm specifically which people do for many reasons and can be cause by many psychiatric disorders. I was part of a study with Mental Health America and I learned some interesting stuff about self harm as in it can manifest in ways you don't expect. Beyond obvious self inflicted injury people have said they they will get piercings or tattoos not for the look but as a way of harming themselves, knowing it would hurt and be permanent physically. As well as just not being cautious or caring for your life or if you get injured. Stuff like reckless driving or spending, picking fights with people not watching your own safety. Given the high comorbidity with trans and other mental health conditions, while this may not be the case for everyone, I see no reason why "gender affirming care" couldn't be something similar to that for some people
https://substack.com/home/post/p-166209356
Thank you for documenting this. Eli Erlick should be prosecuted.
This is excellent. Very helpful in explaining the on-ramp that so many kids have taken. Congratulations to you on finding a way off, and for learning to trust yourself. The second half of the story is alluded to in the quote from Forest about all the adults and professionals that affirmed the trans identity, thereby failing to address the original problem and medicalizing it instead. Yes, online predators and social media are a problem and parents absolutely need to be aware of this, however, I think the vast majority of parents and general public do not understand or believe how devastating the role of affirming teachers, therapists, doctors, and adults in general have been to kids who, for one reason or another took this on-ramp. Everyone is so busy displaying their kindess and acceptance that they failed to really listen to these kids and to sit with them in their discomfort, using their adult faculties to support the pain but insist on reality, and in the case if doctors- uphold their pledge to 'do no harm.' Social media and predators and never going away, but we can hold licensed professionals accountable.
Agreed. It makes it hard to hold the line. We were never the enemy & the post tells it like it is. Vulnerable…growing up..a friend that doesn’t challenge you. Only going to get worse with AI.
Excellent omment! I agree with you 100%!
Thanks to the author for bravely outlining the dangers that lurk on our kids’ phones and laptops. I recently read a book called Blood Money by an author named Peter Schweizer. Admittedly the book was quite partisan in its approach, but it made a strong case that the Chinese government actively stokes online activities that target American and western youth with propaganda and ideology that tears at the fabric of our families. One example I read from the book was how in China, their local version of TikTok is pretty innocuous. It shows Chinese kids science challenges, cat videos and generally more wholesome content. But in America, TikTok feeds our kids a steady stream of trans ideology, inappropriate violent videos from war zones and mind grease that affects kids’ ability to stay focused.
Congratulations on your desisting - it was not an easy decision to decide that you were trans, and it was not an easy decision to realize you are not trans and to walk it back. Thank you for all your sharing and research. This was very informative, and I will pass it on to other parents who have little children. The internet can be very dangerous and influential to any innocent mind that is searching for answers. We all want to be accepted, loved, and appreciated - these sites that you explained can be very intriguing and manipulative to anyone that is seeking a connection. The predators really scare me. Yikes! How do we really protect our children from the lurking harm out in this world? I worry about my 5-year-old granddaughter.
Should be required reading for parents of teens, as well as school/adolescent counselors.
Trans social media influencers gather followers, normalizes and glamorizes the effects of cross-sex hormones and surgeries then encourages others to medicalize. They then rally and leverage their followers to berate and threaten non-affirming parents. It is a vicious group that seems to have lost all empathy and moral behavior. It is all about them and what they want. The ability to see a ripple effect or consequences beyond themselves is missing.
Some people might label such behavior as narcissistic. But the ironic part of this story is the trans identifying kid/social media influencer projects themselves onto the parent and calls them narcissistic. It is a wicked game of alienation, and the only thing a parent can do if they find themselves in this abusive situation is to walk away from the game and their kid for self-preservation.
It becomes a forced sacrifice.
Sadly, yes.
Thank you for sharing 🙏❤️🩵