I am blessed that the Catholic Diocese I work for will only refer to students in their biological sex, birth name. If parenta do not agree and want to gender confirm, they are asked to leave. Unfortunately I sent my son to a public high school that did not inform me his Senior year what was happening.
It's imperative that parents have open and frequent communication with their own children. How did you not know? How did the school end up knowing more about your own child than you did? These are the hard questions.
I am so sorry for you daughter and for your experience. I have a son who has been taking cross-sex hormones for many years now. A question I try to ask myself before writing each letter is, "what do I want?" I ask that with your letter - I don't know what your rights are now for getting the school records for your daughter - would it be better to have a lawyers letter at this point? I agree that it would be good to collect this information, you might want to use it later (to sue the school or maybe to discuss with your daughter if things got better for her, as part of recovery?). These schools and their woke ideological teachers & administrators need to be hit hard.
"my daughter graduated from a top private school in our city"
If your school is lying to parents and helping teenagers mutilate their bodies, in what way are they a "top" private school?
I understand what the author is trying to say here: "it's a school that's very popular with wealthy, educated people and the graduates make lots of money". Reading this article, it's clear this mom (guessing, since it's unclear which parent is writing) is proud that her daughter got into a "top" university and will presumably graduate to a "top" job. But why is she proud of this? Adapting a common Bible verse: "what does a profit a girl to gain the whole world but forfeit her soul?"
What does a "top school" badge mean when it's awarded by a society that is promoting true evil? It means this school promotes evil better than the others. No school that does this is "top". No school that does this is "good". We have to stop using the terminology of our enemies, and we must stop sending our kids to institutions that claim such monikers. That means being brutally countercultural. That means teaching our children that they will have to choose between truth and financial success. (And yes, this is a conversation I've had with mine many times.) For ideas on what this looks like, I would suggest Rod Dreher's book, Live Not By Lies.
To bastardize Solzhenitsyn: "Not everyone can stand up in the corporate DEI meeting on pronouns and say 'this is crap'. Most of us are too afraid. But everyone can refuse to regurgitate obvious untruths. Everyone can walk out of said meeting." When you do that... when you accept that your culture is promoting evil and refuse to play along... when you take a stand for truth and say, "I'm not going to say that, and there's nothing you can do to make me", there will be consequences. (In Solzhenitsyn's case those included a decade in a Siberian gulag.) But there is also great freedom.
She did only say she went to college. I'm inferring based on the fact that students who attend a "top K-12 school" don't generally end up at Boise State. However, my point about the overall attitude remains unchanged. We must stop pretending that institutions that have been awarded honors by those in power are actually worth anything. In fact, such "honors" are actually a sign of moral corruption and dishonor. When evil people say you're doing a good job, it's not a sign that you actually are. The sane among us should act accordingly.
Can you not see what the rest of us here likely see, reading your letter?
Given your daughter still believes she's male, after you've known about this for two years, if she goes away to college, she is at almost 100% risk of immediately getting testosterone and a double mastectomy. She is now free to do so, and she will be surrounded by clubs, new friends, professors, and a campus health center who will urge her to do so. And not tell you, first. She has been captured by a widespread cult, and is seriously mentally ill as a result.
If she is already on campus, she has already been greeted by the LGBT clubs on her first day, at orientation, has joined, and has been love bombed and advised to go right to the health center, which she probably already has, and gotten a prescription for testosterone, and is now taking it. And likely got a pre-written approval letter for double mastectomy.
She's probably already attending a campus health center support group for transitioners, urging her on, and telling her to keep this secret from you, and to cut ties from you as much as she can.
Wake up.
Again, this is a heavy-handed, highly orchestrated, massively funded cult. College students are now put on a conveyor belt to drugs and surgery from day one on campus. College campuses are the cult headquarters for indoctrination. What she got regarding gender identity (bio-phobia) in K-12 school is nothing compared to what she is, or will, encounter her first week in college. And now she's an adult, free to make her own decisions, as long as you keep enabling it by paying for her to be in college, instead of at home, her taking a mental health break for a year or more til she is woken up with a counselor specifically trained and highly skilled at helping her do so. Just as anorexics take gap year(s) before starting college to focus on getting better, so should young adults who've been captured by this cult.
Mom, you seem more concerned about your daughter's high achiever academics than her fundamental health, amd don't seem to fully appreciate how at n high risk she is if she goes to college right now. If you want her to still have her breasts a few days from now, or at the end of this school year, I urge you to get out of denial and focus 100% with her on getting her out of this cult. First. She can always go to college once she's psychologically safe to do so.
There are many stories of kids keeping their plans for hormones and surgeries a secret from their parents until they're 18 and/or in college to immediately do as the cult has taught them to do.
Please - pull your kid out of college, now, and keep her at home. Not tomorrow. Today. And don't pay for an apartment for her: she must stay at home til she's better, if she wants your financial help for college.
Are there any parents here who disagree, who believe this daughter ISN'T at highest risk for taking hormones and double mastectomy now, by going to college with these beliefs already in place?
100% right, my son's first indoctrination & cross sex hormones were at a USA university health center. I "what-if"ed about it and wished he had gone to a different school. But it is at every USA college. Our children are surrounded. I hope it will change soon.
He is still taking hormones - we were able to get him to stop taking them & take a leave of absence during college. That bought him a few years of health, but he slipped back into the cult after starting a new job, new stress, new city. It is a long journey. I agree that it is madness to have to warn parents about college influences. I had no idea.
I'm sorry regarding your 2 daughters. May I ask for more details, please? What did they encounter when going to college? And what else would you recommend?
Sure. Oldest daughter was recruited into LGBTQ club as a freshman, to serve as a treasurer since she's good at math. She claimed to be an "ally". Her math classmate, who recruuted her, was the leader. Once a sophomore, she identified as "non-binary", chopped off her beautiful hair and grew in hostility. By graduation, she was their president, and managed to be in a relationship with a newly trans kid, who became indoctrinated in his psychology 101 class as a sophomore. By graduation, he had legally changed his name and sported skirts & lipstick. My daughter also sometimes adopted a male identity with a different name and became very sullen. She also started lying to us repeatedly. She lost her sparkle. One sad moment was when she was the only girl in her final choir concert who did not wear her black gown- she wore a black men's style suit and a men's short haircut! We didn't share any pictures of her on social media or with relatives of this because we were shocked.
But the worst is to come...Oldest daughter encouraged younger, gender-conforming daughter to transition socially and medically! Youngest sent us her scripted "trans" email as soon as she started college across the state. She got involved with the alphabet club on campus, had encouragement from her school counselor, and started testosterone (through Planned Parenthood) during her second week there! She became hostile and spoke with us less often. By her sophomore year, she followed the leadership in this cult and cut us off completely! She maintains contact with big sister (Glitter Mom) and anyone else who affirms her delusion. She dropped out of college after her sophomore year, still takes wrong sex hormones (we hear), and has remained estranged, despite our efforts to have contact. No matter how much we tell her we love her and send gifts, etc., she refuses to respond. Her college refused to tell us anything about her, including whether she was still even enrolled! She has changed her phone number and we fear that she's trying to collect money for a mastectomy.
No college or university seems safe from indoctrination of our precious youth! Some even give out hormones, etc. on campus!
All the students must obey the pronoun rules and many fall into peer pressure to transition to fit in / be cool or weird. The professors and other staff also must comply or lose their jobs.
All I can recommend is to have a gap year to get your child's head screwed back on straight. Remove outside influences like internet, social media, TV, movies, etc. that could strengthen their delusional thoughts. Better yet, have the child get away from their environment- travel to a foreign country that does not embrace this. It's hard to say where to go to avoid this, but with some research, you'll find a place. Italy, Spain, Greece, Africa, South America, etc...I wish I knew then what I know now! Both of my girls had their heads warped at college after first buying into the high school indoctrination rhetoric.
Heartbreaking and horrifying. I'm so sorry. Thank you for sharing this massively cautionary tale.
I think I read of someone sending their child away to nature camp instead of college for a year or two. But one would have to be very careful that the camp and counselors opposed this nonsense.
Gender Theory must be removed from public schools. It is a mythological belief passed along as fact to people too young to comprehend the reality that women can be masculine and men can be feminine without destroying their bodies to NOT PASS as the opposite sex.
Forcing kids to imbibe this crap is like forcing kids to accept Jesus as their personal savior. The difference is, of course, that accepting Jesus doesn’t require a lifetime of medication and cutting off body parts.
These evangelizing teachers must be STOPPED.
I can’t help but wonder how many of them are childless women....
Gender Theory is just feminism's next wave. Feminism was the original ideology which promoted the 'social construct' theory of gender, as well as the idea that biological sex differences were a form of oppression.
Feminism is also a male power fantasy, which defines men as gods and women as helpless powerless victims. Many FtM transitioners seek the power, privilege and agency that feminism told them they will never get to enjoy as women, and which only men have access to. And many MtF transitioners seek womanhood as a way to stop harming women with their toxic masculinity, rape culture and patriarchal oppression which feminism told them comes with being a man. Society defines women as human and men as something less (ie the source of all society's problems), so is it any wonder so many young men want to jump ship?
To get gender theory out of schools means getting feminism out of schools. Feminism is entrenched in every institution from government to the media all the way to the UN. Feminism has re-written the history of the human race from a tale of complimentary and compatible (and highly productive) genders working in partnership.... to a tale of patriarchal oppression of women by men.
Feminism's demand for 'gender equality' can only be achieved by erasing gender altogether and creating a unisex (AKA non binary) population and culture.... and consciousness. This is precisely what the trans cult is doing. The end goal is not 'freedom of expression' but restriction of the masses to a single, unisex, gender role for all (global citizen) with reproduction taken care of by artificial wombs. The rainbow flag will blend to a uniform grey/ brown.
Many people criticise 'gender theory' but don't realise it's 150 years in the making (since feminism began). To return society to anything resembling normality we must dismantle feminism completely and dispose of it like nuclear waste.
Personally I view teaching feminist theory in schools to pre pubescent children to be just as much a form of child abuse as drag shows in libraries.
Home schooling is the way. I don't think the education system can be saved. It all comes from the Prussian Schooling system anyway, which was designed specifically to indoctrinate and brainwash the masses.
The problem with this approach is that it defines women as passive, inert, helpless victims of gender ideology. This maintains the feminist frame by keeping women free from blame for all social ills (free from social responsibility) but in doing so it also places all social responsibility on men's shoulders.
Thus the feminist is left playing the helpless victim/ damsel and shaming men into fixing society on women's behalf (he for she), while at the same time defining men as the problem.
Feminism also defines females caught up in gender ideology as victims, but males caught up in gender ideology as perpetrators which is another contradiction.
The fact that most teachers pushing gender ideology in schools are female teachers is glossed over because it does not fit the feminist victim/ perpetrator narrative. The switch from academic focus to a social justice/ gender based focus in schools has been the result of the feminisation of the teaching profession with male teachers mostly erased from the profession and replaced by radical feminist female teachers.
The same applies to HR and the workplace in general which has been highly feminised over the past 30 years - resulting in the current ideological capture of most institutions.
Watch videos of drag shows in libraries and it is almost exclusively mothers (of a feminist persuasion) taking their children along, and whooping and cheering to the drag performances ..... and no doubt relishing in the emasculation of the male drag performer.
Finally, the majority of feminists are pro gender ideology as it follows on perfectly from decades of feminist deconstruction of gender and 'social construct theory'.
The minority of feminists who oppose gender ideology (TERFs) are in the same position as second wave feminists opposing the third wave. They will get left behind as feminism ploughs ahead on its mission to erase gender completely from society.
There will come a point where TERFs are going to have to either reject feminism and accept they were conned .......... or carry on playing the victim and blaming everything on men, while accepting that the majority of feminists (and society in general) no longer care what TERFs think and just labels them as transphobic - the same way critics of feminism have always been labelled misogynistic.
Eventually even trans people will be thrown off the bus as 'non binary' and 'gender queer' becomes the only acceptable gender identity. Already we are seeing genderless birth certificates being rolled out in some countries.
Feminism's push for gender equality will be realised when gender has been completely erased from language, culture, biology and the legal system. There will be no 'gender inequality' in the new genderless utopia.
The moral of the story is "be careful what you wish for".
sorry. I find the way you tie together these topics illogical and also ahistorical. You are right in some spots and also off base.
I'm saying this to signal to others who see the weak logic here.
Don't dump this techno-chemical-medical disaster on the lap of feminists. Doctors have frequently suffered hubris over the centuries. This is a particularly grotesque hubristic medical fad.
"Don't dump this techno-chemical-medical disaster on the lap of feminists"
I am specifically blaming feminist IDEOLOGY, which is not quite the same as blaming the average feminist, most of whom have been unwittingly and naively sucked into a destructive and demoralising cult that they do not fully understand (or understand the implications of).
"This is a particularly grotesque hubristic medical fad."
So is feminist ideology.
Feminist 'patriarchy theory' only makes sense if men and women share the same biology. But they don't, which is why the ideology is nonsensical (and destructive). Feminism is a denial of biological reality. No feminist has ever given an alternative to traditional gender roles that would have been preferable to women throughout the ages, or practical in terms of basic survival for everyone.
Feminism is not an intellectual ideology, it is just defining biology as oppression, and then demanding men / the state compensate women for the misfortune of being born female.
This is why feminism it is the gateway drug to a trans/ NB identity and medical transition. Over the decades many feminists have 'de-transitioned' from feminism in their 30's.... at which point they have to scrabble to find a husband and start a family before it's too late. The only difference with trans ideology is the addition of hormones and surgery - but even the pill qualifies as a cross sex hormone (endocrine disrupter).
Today's gender cult is just feminism's next wave. Every previous wave of feminists have complained that the subsequent wave is too extreme. This wave is no different. Feminism has been a giant (century long) slippery slope leading to the total annihilation of gender - under the banner of 'empowerment' and 'self expression'.
1) no, feminism is not a "medical fad". Feminism has little to do with medicine and nothing at all with the obsession over appearance that leads people to have surgery & take hormones.
2) if trans medicalization is feminism's next wave, what do you make of radical feminists and lesbians who object to much of the trans movement?
3) it's true that some feminists want(ed) to abolish gender. But it's also true that a lot of feminists -- maybe the majority of them -- wanted to shuck off the oppression that comes with being female. Those feminists wanted to valorize the female and feminine qualities. Some times this group is called "maternalist feminists".
4) but nontheless, the trans movement is more a glorification of gender than an obliteration of it. They see an image and think copying that image will "change" their gender (or even their sex). This is completely unrelated to feminism. It is more akin to those who go in for radical body modification, plastic surgeries and drugs to change physique (like extreme body builders).
5) if you don't know what the patriarchy is ... wow. just wow. ... maybe study up on the Catholic Church hierarchy for starters.
1. Feminism's rejection of biology (sexual dimorphism) and battle of the sexes is an externalised manifestation of the same 'angst' that we see in those who medicalise with hormones and surgery. The difference is in degrees. Shoulder pads, short hair, rejection of femininity (and rejection of masculinity for male feminists), endocrine disrupting contraception has been 'upgraded' to binders, non binary identity and cross sex hormones, mastectomy, surgery.
Feminist icons like Ellen Ripley (Alien) or Sarah Connor (Terminator) are masculine women in tank tops who act like Bruce Willis in the Die Hard franchise.
Feminism has spent decades celebrating women acting like macho men in order to 'self actualise' and transcend the limitations (and horrors) of being 'just' a woman.
Feminist angst - if you break it down - is gender dysphoria. The frustration and sense of powerlessness from being born a woman with a woman's body and all that that implies.
2. Feminist ideology has never had any internal consistency. Feminists hated being supported by men, and demanded being supported by the state (men with guns extracting money from men). Feminism is a harem for women paid for by working men and enforced by the most psychopathic, power mad men in society (political class).
Feminists demanded the right to be promiscuous and have casual 'consequence free' sex, and then became traumatised by this sexual liberation as soon as they experienced it. Turns out all of those traditional courtship and mating conventions were actually put in place to protect women, and not oppress women.
Every demand made by feminists over the last 50 years has traumatised or annoyed feminists after they got what they demanded. TERFs are no exception. They insisted we all accept the preposterous idea that gender is a social construct and now that the idea is really taking off in a big way they are absolutely fuming. Naturally, they are refusing to take responsibility (for that would mean admitting women's huge social power in defining cultural values and conventions and laws) and so they are blaming men and playing the victim... as usual.
4. There was never any oppression that came with being female. At no point in human history has it ever been preferable for a woman to swap gender roles with a man of equal social status to her. If you disagree, please provide an example. The oppression of being female (the core of feminist theory) only makes sense if women desire to BE men, or live as men.
And feminism has always encouraged women to adopt a kind of caricatured male persona, identity, lifestyle and ambitions..... and this has caused plummeting mental health rates for modern western post-feminist women. For generations feminists have become disillusioned with their 'trans' identity as 'pseudo men' and reverted to being normal feminine women by their late 20's. When the 'detransition' occurs any later, the result is usually a sad, empty life with no husband or children.... just lots of cats, red wine, regret (or denial) and a bookshelf full of feminist books promising liberation.
Today's detransitioners also have the effects of hormones and surgeries to contend with. But otherwise nothing much has changed.
4. Feminism made womanhood and femininity unattainable to most women today... under the banner of celebrating and empowering women. Feminism's concept of empowering women is to abandon womanhood and aspire to live more like a man. Today only rich women can afford to live a feminine lifestyle that used to be available to all (such as raising your own children). Feminism's idea of empowerment is having to abandon your children to perfect strangers each day.
In the same way trans is destroying gender, under the banner of celebrating it. What is being celebrated and promoted is actually the de-gendering of society (following on from feminism's own progress in this area). Non binary and asexual (and sterilised) bodies is the new normal.
Most women have mundane jobs today NOT fancy pants careers. And most trans people will end up with genderless bodies and identities too, not masculine or feminine.
5. patriarchy is a society where women's (and by extension children's) comfort, safety, survival and access to resources is prioritised over their freedom.... and men's obligations to provide those things to women is prioritised over their own comfort, safety or even their lives.
Patriarchy is men acting as the hard outer shell to protect women and children, and supply them with resources. In a patriarchy women occupy a role that is mid way between child and adult. Women sacrifice a bit of their agency - and transfer it to men - in order that men keep them safe and comfortable.
Patriarchy is a compromise women make, because most women prefer to sacrifice a little freedom for security and comfort.
What liberated women in the 20th century was technology, which raised living standards and reduced scarcity. If a meteorite struck Earth tomorrow and sent us back to the middle ages I can guarantee women would demand full blown patriarchy again, and would raise their children to adhere to ultra traditional gender roles.
In modern society most women enjoy greater independence and autonomy thanks to modern technology (paved streets, street lamps, service industry jobs, supermarkets, washing machines etc).
Feminists are women who demand resources and special treatment from men (redistributed by force via the state) without offering anything to those men in return (not even a sandwich). Feminism is a kind of ULTRA patriarchy. It is a harem system.
I agree 100%. Perfectly encapsulates this cynical nasty pernicious bullshit. I teach at a progressive university among the zealots and it is so disheartening how indoctrinated the students are. I’ve been taken to task for daring to say that it’s not true that women weren’t allowed to work prior to the Sexual Revolution, and that the reason women were denied credit cards is because they were supported by their husbands. They are being taught to read literature through a hateful lens and all manner of devil’s advocate can’t seem to impose a sense of romance on these poor souls. It’s heartbreaking.
Well done! More parents need to hold the schools responsible for this insanity. How did entire schools become indoctrinated by this weird ideology? What switch was flicked? If someone had told you this would be the case 5 or 10 years ago. Would any of us have believed it? Pure madness, pure unadulterated madness!
The school was in the wrong. 100%. I am wondering why in 10th grade when the parents found out the lies they still kept her in this school. Be bold. Pull your kids. I have a friend that sold her house and moved in 30 days after seeing her daughter asking questions about this ideology. She saved her by the way.
Yes, I was wondering the same. Is any elite education worth the price of a child ending up seeking mutilating drugs and surgeries? I hope that isn't the case for this young woman, but given that her parents have known for 2 years and she still identifies as male, and is off to college doesn't sound good. I would keep her at home at least a year and to focus on this issue for the year: helping her get better from this mental illness. It's a bit akin to having an eating disorder: plenty of parents are advised to keep their child home from college for a year or two to recover from the eating disorder, then, and only then resume college.
If the parents could afford a top private school, they could afford a reality-based homeschooling program.
And what of the other daughter? Hopefully she is not there, or anywhere else that this is being taught, or secrets kept.
All this said, I do understand that the parents were likely in shock and may have taken a long time to fully appreciate what was being done to their oldest daughter. And nothing excuses this school's appalling lack of respect for parents, students, science, or reality.
Yea, she can still go, but if parents refused to pay, she'd be scrambling to pay for school and housing. She wouldn't be eligible le for financial aid from 2 years after becoming financially independent de t from her parents. During that time of working to support herself, it might give her the pause she needs to reconsider her inculcation.
Yes. sending her off is the scariest part. I pulled my boys for much less. The PE teacher told my 13 year old and his friends that the girls in bras and binders in the BOYS locker rooms are BOYS. They went to her because they were uncomfortable changing down to underwear in front of them. I pulled my son the next day. This isn't a wait and see what happens environment. It is a sacrifice and costly. My family member is captured and it is devastating.
This article tracks our experience pretty well. Our experience was a few years earlier and we could not get a lawyer to take our case. We tried. Things are changing now.
When we got wind of the situation and asked our private high school to call our daughter by her name and reality based pronouns - and pointed to parts of the handbook which supported working with families generally - they responded by changing the handbook.
I hope that when parents with younger children ask you about enrolling their kids in this school you tell them to run for their lives. You don't need to tell the details of your situation but tell them it is not a place that supports healthy parent-child bond.
Sadly, this is everywhere. Do you know anywhere that is safe? I saw something about OH Catholic schools supporting reality. Maybe someplace in DeSantis's Florida is healthy? Pretty much nowhere else in America is reality based as far as I know.
There is no choice but exhausting vigilance. Parents who wonder which private schools are not captured - this is my advice - With Jesuit (schools will state they are Jesuit very proudly) schools and universities please assume they are captured. Catholic (and not Jesuit schools) can be guessed by the locality in most cases. If the school is in or near to a liberal city, it has a very high likelihood of being captured. If the city has a Jesuit university pumping out teachers then those graduates, who will be in the local catholic schools, will be captured and turning the school. As for secular, non-catholic or non-christian schools (and most have a Christian founder they are trying to bury knowledge of) you need to assume they are ideologically liberal affirmers useless you see in writing that they are not. And "elite" = captured.
Its very sad. They left their brains somewhere in South America. We have our son in an all-boys non-Jesuit HS but I'm not easing up on my oversight for a minute. The Jesuit Pope has spoken out frequently against gender bullsh!t but he's not the General so makes no difference.
The Jesuits, as a group, were formerly known for a strong intellectual foundation but this is no longer the case. Individual Jesuits may be honest, logical thinkers but as a group they lost their way. Its very sad.
I'm sorry, but there's nothing logical or reality-based about believing in ghosts or dieties. Let's be honest. Anyone who can fall for one make-believe can fall for another.
We also shouldn't be trusting or assuming anyone or any group hasn't fallen for this. It's just too widespread and as with all make-believe, is being manipulatively sold.
This is beautifully written and so tragic. My fears. I am very involved in my children's school and wonder if they would do this to us as well.
I am blessed that the Catholic Diocese I work for will only refer to students in their biological sex, birth name. If parenta do not agree and want to gender confirm, they are asked to leave. Unfortunately I sent my son to a public high school that did not inform me his Senior year what was happening.
It's imperative that parents have open and frequent communication with their own children. How did you not know? How did the school end up knowing more about your own child than you did? These are the hard questions.
I am so sorry for you daughter and for your experience. I have a son who has been taking cross-sex hormones for many years now. A question I try to ask myself before writing each letter is, "what do I want?" I ask that with your letter - I don't know what your rights are now for getting the school records for your daughter - would it be better to have a lawyers letter at this point? I agree that it would be good to collect this information, you might want to use it later (to sue the school or maybe to discuss with your daughter if things got better for her, as part of recovery?). These schools and their woke ideological teachers & administrators need to be hit hard.
You have struck a good tone, respectful, honest, reasonable, but hitting them where it hurts.
This is so sad!! I wonder though why you are shielding the school by not naming it. This is some info that someone could use.
I would also like to know the school as well.
Sue them.
"my daughter graduated from a top private school in our city"
If your school is lying to parents and helping teenagers mutilate their bodies, in what way are they a "top" private school?
I understand what the author is trying to say here: "it's a school that's very popular with wealthy, educated people and the graduates make lots of money". Reading this article, it's clear this mom (guessing, since it's unclear which parent is writing) is proud that her daughter got into a "top" university and will presumably graduate to a "top" job. But why is she proud of this? Adapting a common Bible verse: "what does a profit a girl to gain the whole world but forfeit her soul?"
What does a "top school" badge mean when it's awarded by a society that is promoting true evil? It means this school promotes evil better than the others. No school that does this is "top". No school that does this is "good". We have to stop using the terminology of our enemies, and we must stop sending our kids to institutions that claim such monikers. That means being brutally countercultural. That means teaching our children that they will have to choose between truth and financial success. (And yes, this is a conversation I've had with mine many times.) For ideas on what this looks like, I would suggest Rod Dreher's book, Live Not By Lies.
To bastardize Solzhenitsyn: "Not everyone can stand up in the corporate DEI meeting on pronouns and say 'this is crap'. Most of us are too afraid. But everyone can refuse to regurgitate obvious untruths. Everyone can walk out of said meeting." When you do that... when you accept that your culture is promoting evil and refuse to play along... when you take a stand for truth and say, "I'm not going to say that, and there's nothing you can do to make me", there will be consequences. (In Solzhenitsyn's case those included a decade in a Siberian gulag.) But there is also great freedom.
She didn’t get into a top university. You made that up
She did only say she went to college. I'm inferring based on the fact that students who attend a "top K-12 school" don't generally end up at Boise State. However, my point about the overall attitude remains unchanged. We must stop pretending that institutions that have been awarded honors by those in power are actually worth anything. In fact, such "honors" are actually a sign of moral corruption and dishonor. When evil people say you're doing a good job, it's not a sign that you actually are. The sane among us should act accordingly.
You wrote that the schools are "playing with fire" - that is the sad truth.
To the author/Mom:
Can you not see what the rest of us here likely see, reading your letter?
Given your daughter still believes she's male, after you've known about this for two years, if she goes away to college, she is at almost 100% risk of immediately getting testosterone and a double mastectomy. She is now free to do so, and she will be surrounded by clubs, new friends, professors, and a campus health center who will urge her to do so. And not tell you, first. She has been captured by a widespread cult, and is seriously mentally ill as a result.
If she is already on campus, she has already been greeted by the LGBT clubs on her first day, at orientation, has joined, and has been love bombed and advised to go right to the health center, which she probably already has, and gotten a prescription for testosterone, and is now taking it. And likely got a pre-written approval letter for double mastectomy.
She's probably already attending a campus health center support group for transitioners, urging her on, and telling her to keep this secret from you, and to cut ties from you as much as she can.
Wake up.
Again, this is a heavy-handed, highly orchestrated, massively funded cult. College students are now put on a conveyor belt to drugs and surgery from day one on campus. College campuses are the cult headquarters for indoctrination. What she got regarding gender identity (bio-phobia) in K-12 school is nothing compared to what she is, or will, encounter her first week in college. And now she's an adult, free to make her own decisions, as long as you keep enabling it by paying for her to be in college, instead of at home, her taking a mental health break for a year or more til she is woken up with a counselor specifically trained and highly skilled at helping her do so. Just as anorexics take gap year(s) before starting college to focus on getting better, so should young adults who've been captured by this cult.
Mom, you seem more concerned about your daughter's high achiever academics than her fundamental health, amd don't seem to fully appreciate how at n high risk she is if she goes to college right now. If you want her to still have her breasts a few days from now, or at the end of this school year, I urge you to get out of denial and focus 100% with her on getting her out of this cult. First. She can always go to college once she's psychologically safe to do so.
There are many stories of kids keeping their plans for hormones and surgeries a secret from their parents until they're 18 and/or in college to immediately do as the cult has taught them to do.
Please - pull your kid out of college, now, and keep her at home. Not tomorrow. Today. And don't pay for an apartment for her: she must stay at home til she's better, if she wants your financial help for college.
Are there any parents here who disagree, who believe this daughter ISN'T at highest risk for taking hormones and double mastectomy now, by going to college with these beliefs already in place?
I'm sorry to be so harsh, Mom.
100% right, my son's first indoctrination & cross sex hormones were at a USA university health center. I "what-if"ed about it and wished he had gone to a different school. But it is at every USA college. Our children are surrounded. I hope it will change soon.
I'm very sorry to hear. How is he, now?
It's madness we have to warn parents to not send their kids to college, unless the kid is very solid in refuting this ideology.
He is still taking hormones - we were able to get him to stop taking them & take a leave of absence during college. That bought him a few years of health, but he slipped back into the cult after starting a new job, new stress, new city. It is a long journey. I agree that it is madness to have to warn parents about college influences. I had no idea.
You are absolutely, 100% right! A gap year or more is the only way to stop this progression. I know from my own two daughter's experiences!
I'm sorry regarding your 2 daughters. May I ask for more details, please? What did they encounter when going to college? And what else would you recommend?
Sure. Oldest daughter was recruited into LGBTQ club as a freshman, to serve as a treasurer since she's good at math. She claimed to be an "ally". Her math classmate, who recruuted her, was the leader. Once a sophomore, she identified as "non-binary", chopped off her beautiful hair and grew in hostility. By graduation, she was their president, and managed to be in a relationship with a newly trans kid, who became indoctrinated in his psychology 101 class as a sophomore. By graduation, he had legally changed his name and sported skirts & lipstick. My daughter also sometimes adopted a male identity with a different name and became very sullen. She also started lying to us repeatedly. She lost her sparkle. One sad moment was when she was the only girl in her final choir concert who did not wear her black gown- she wore a black men's style suit and a men's short haircut! We didn't share any pictures of her on social media or with relatives of this because we were shocked.
But the worst is to come...Oldest daughter encouraged younger, gender-conforming daughter to transition socially and medically! Youngest sent us her scripted "trans" email as soon as she started college across the state. She got involved with the alphabet club on campus, had encouragement from her school counselor, and started testosterone (through Planned Parenthood) during her second week there! She became hostile and spoke with us less often. By her sophomore year, she followed the leadership in this cult and cut us off completely! She maintains contact with big sister (Glitter Mom) and anyone else who affirms her delusion. She dropped out of college after her sophomore year, still takes wrong sex hormones (we hear), and has remained estranged, despite our efforts to have contact. No matter how much we tell her we love her and send gifts, etc., she refuses to respond. Her college refused to tell us anything about her, including whether she was still even enrolled! She has changed her phone number and we fear that she's trying to collect money for a mastectomy.
No college or university seems safe from indoctrination of our precious youth! Some even give out hormones, etc. on campus!
All the students must obey the pronoun rules and many fall into peer pressure to transition to fit in / be cool or weird. The professors and other staff also must comply or lose their jobs.
All I can recommend is to have a gap year to get your child's head screwed back on straight. Remove outside influences like internet, social media, TV, movies, etc. that could strengthen their delusional thoughts. Better yet, have the child get away from their environment- travel to a foreign country that does not embrace this. It's hard to say where to go to avoid this, but with some research, you'll find a place. Italy, Spain, Greece, Africa, South America, etc...I wish I knew then what I know now! Both of my girls had their heads warped at college after first buying into the high school indoctrination rhetoric.
Best of luck and you have my prayers! 🙏
Heartbreaking and horrifying. I'm so sorry. Thank you for sharing this massively cautionary tale.
I think I read of someone sending their child away to nature camp instead of college for a year or two. But one would have to be very careful that the camp and counselors opposed this nonsense.
I agree!
And P.S. I'm glad you wrote this letter and have been speaking up to your daughter's school, and have been advocating for her and the other students.
Gender Theory must be removed from public schools. It is a mythological belief passed along as fact to people too young to comprehend the reality that women can be masculine and men can be feminine without destroying their bodies to NOT PASS as the opposite sex.
Forcing kids to imbibe this crap is like forcing kids to accept Jesus as their personal savior. The difference is, of course, that accepting Jesus doesn’t require a lifetime of medication and cutting off body parts.
These evangelizing teachers must be STOPPED.
I can’t help but wonder how many of them are childless women....
Gender Theory is just feminism's next wave. Feminism was the original ideology which promoted the 'social construct' theory of gender, as well as the idea that biological sex differences were a form of oppression.
Feminism is also a male power fantasy, which defines men as gods and women as helpless powerless victims. Many FtM transitioners seek the power, privilege and agency that feminism told them they will never get to enjoy as women, and which only men have access to. And many MtF transitioners seek womanhood as a way to stop harming women with their toxic masculinity, rape culture and patriarchal oppression which feminism told them comes with being a man. Society defines women as human and men as something less (ie the source of all society's problems), so is it any wonder so many young men want to jump ship?
To get gender theory out of schools means getting feminism out of schools. Feminism is entrenched in every institution from government to the media all the way to the UN. Feminism has re-written the history of the human race from a tale of complimentary and compatible (and highly productive) genders working in partnership.... to a tale of patriarchal oppression of women by men.
Feminism's demand for 'gender equality' can only be achieved by erasing gender altogether and creating a unisex (AKA non binary) population and culture.... and consciousness. This is precisely what the trans cult is doing. The end goal is not 'freedom of expression' but restriction of the masses to a single, unisex, gender role for all (global citizen) with reproduction taken care of by artificial wombs. The rainbow flag will blend to a uniform grey/ brown.
Many people criticise 'gender theory' but don't realise it's 150 years in the making (since feminism began). To return society to anything resembling normality we must dismantle feminism completely and dispose of it like nuclear waste.
Personally I view teaching feminist theory in schools to pre pubescent children to be just as much a form of child abuse as drag shows in libraries.
Home schooling is the way. I don't think the education system can be saved. It all comes from the Prussian Schooling system anyway, which was designed specifically to indoctrinate and brainwash the masses.
I am a proud feminist and I do not support gender ideology which erases sex based rights for woman and girls.
The problem with this approach is that it defines women as passive, inert, helpless victims of gender ideology. This maintains the feminist frame by keeping women free from blame for all social ills (free from social responsibility) but in doing so it also places all social responsibility on men's shoulders.
Thus the feminist is left playing the helpless victim/ damsel and shaming men into fixing society on women's behalf (he for she), while at the same time defining men as the problem.
Feminism also defines females caught up in gender ideology as victims, but males caught up in gender ideology as perpetrators which is another contradiction.
The fact that most teachers pushing gender ideology in schools are female teachers is glossed over because it does not fit the feminist victim/ perpetrator narrative. The switch from academic focus to a social justice/ gender based focus in schools has been the result of the feminisation of the teaching profession with male teachers mostly erased from the profession and replaced by radical feminist female teachers.
The same applies to HR and the workplace in general which has been highly feminised over the past 30 years - resulting in the current ideological capture of most institutions.
Watch videos of drag shows in libraries and it is almost exclusively mothers (of a feminist persuasion) taking their children along, and whooping and cheering to the drag performances ..... and no doubt relishing in the emasculation of the male drag performer.
Finally, the majority of feminists are pro gender ideology as it follows on perfectly from decades of feminist deconstruction of gender and 'social construct theory'.
The minority of feminists who oppose gender ideology (TERFs) are in the same position as second wave feminists opposing the third wave. They will get left behind as feminism ploughs ahead on its mission to erase gender completely from society.
There will come a point where TERFs are going to have to either reject feminism and accept they were conned .......... or carry on playing the victim and blaming everything on men, while accepting that the majority of feminists (and society in general) no longer care what TERFs think and just labels them as transphobic - the same way critics of feminism have always been labelled misogynistic.
Eventually even trans people will be thrown off the bus as 'non binary' and 'gender queer' becomes the only acceptable gender identity. Already we are seeing genderless birth certificates being rolled out in some countries.
Feminism's push for gender equality will be realised when gender has been completely erased from language, culture, biology and the legal system. There will be no 'gender inequality' in the new genderless utopia.
The moral of the story is "be careful what you wish for".
sorry. I find the way you tie together these topics illogical and also ahistorical. You are right in some spots and also off base.
I'm saying this to signal to others who see the weak logic here.
Don't dump this techno-chemical-medical disaster on the lap of feminists. Doctors have frequently suffered hubris over the centuries. This is a particularly grotesque hubristic medical fad.
"Don't dump this techno-chemical-medical disaster on the lap of feminists"
I am specifically blaming feminist IDEOLOGY, which is not quite the same as blaming the average feminist, most of whom have been unwittingly and naively sucked into a destructive and demoralising cult that they do not fully understand (or understand the implications of).
"This is a particularly grotesque hubristic medical fad."
So is feminist ideology.
Feminist 'patriarchy theory' only makes sense if men and women share the same biology. But they don't, which is why the ideology is nonsensical (and destructive). Feminism is a denial of biological reality. No feminist has ever given an alternative to traditional gender roles that would have been preferable to women throughout the ages, or practical in terms of basic survival for everyone.
Feminism is not an intellectual ideology, it is just defining biology as oppression, and then demanding men / the state compensate women for the misfortune of being born female.
This is why feminism it is the gateway drug to a trans/ NB identity and medical transition. Over the decades many feminists have 'de-transitioned' from feminism in their 30's.... at which point they have to scrabble to find a husband and start a family before it's too late. The only difference with trans ideology is the addition of hormones and surgery - but even the pill qualifies as a cross sex hormone (endocrine disrupter).
Today's gender cult is just feminism's next wave. Every previous wave of feminists have complained that the subsequent wave is too extreme. This wave is no different. Feminism has been a giant (century long) slippery slope leading to the total annihilation of gender - under the banner of 'empowerment' and 'self expression'.
1) no, feminism is not a "medical fad". Feminism has little to do with medicine and nothing at all with the obsession over appearance that leads people to have surgery & take hormones.
2) if trans medicalization is feminism's next wave, what do you make of radical feminists and lesbians who object to much of the trans movement?
3) it's true that some feminists want(ed) to abolish gender. But it's also true that a lot of feminists -- maybe the majority of them -- wanted to shuck off the oppression that comes with being female. Those feminists wanted to valorize the female and feminine qualities. Some times this group is called "maternalist feminists".
4) but nontheless, the trans movement is more a glorification of gender than an obliteration of it. They see an image and think copying that image will "change" their gender (or even their sex). This is completely unrelated to feminism. It is more akin to those who go in for radical body modification, plastic surgeries and drugs to change physique (like extreme body builders).
5) if you don't know what the patriarchy is ... wow. just wow. ... maybe study up on the Catholic Church hierarchy for starters.
1. Feminism's rejection of biology (sexual dimorphism) and battle of the sexes is an externalised manifestation of the same 'angst' that we see in those who medicalise with hormones and surgery. The difference is in degrees. Shoulder pads, short hair, rejection of femininity (and rejection of masculinity for male feminists), endocrine disrupting contraception has been 'upgraded' to binders, non binary identity and cross sex hormones, mastectomy, surgery.
Feminist icons like Ellen Ripley (Alien) or Sarah Connor (Terminator) are masculine women in tank tops who act like Bruce Willis in the Die Hard franchise.
Feminism has spent decades celebrating women acting like macho men in order to 'self actualise' and transcend the limitations (and horrors) of being 'just' a woman.
Feminist angst - if you break it down - is gender dysphoria. The frustration and sense of powerlessness from being born a woman with a woman's body and all that that implies.
2. Feminist ideology has never had any internal consistency. Feminists hated being supported by men, and demanded being supported by the state (men with guns extracting money from men). Feminism is a harem for women paid for by working men and enforced by the most psychopathic, power mad men in society (political class).
Feminists demanded the right to be promiscuous and have casual 'consequence free' sex, and then became traumatised by this sexual liberation as soon as they experienced it. Turns out all of those traditional courtship and mating conventions were actually put in place to protect women, and not oppress women.
Every demand made by feminists over the last 50 years has traumatised or annoyed feminists after they got what they demanded. TERFs are no exception. They insisted we all accept the preposterous idea that gender is a social construct and now that the idea is really taking off in a big way they are absolutely fuming. Naturally, they are refusing to take responsibility (for that would mean admitting women's huge social power in defining cultural values and conventions and laws) and so they are blaming men and playing the victim... as usual.
4. There was never any oppression that came with being female. At no point in human history has it ever been preferable for a woman to swap gender roles with a man of equal social status to her. If you disagree, please provide an example. The oppression of being female (the core of feminist theory) only makes sense if women desire to BE men, or live as men.
And feminism has always encouraged women to adopt a kind of caricatured male persona, identity, lifestyle and ambitions..... and this has caused plummeting mental health rates for modern western post-feminist women. For generations feminists have become disillusioned with their 'trans' identity as 'pseudo men' and reverted to being normal feminine women by their late 20's. When the 'detransition' occurs any later, the result is usually a sad, empty life with no husband or children.... just lots of cats, red wine, regret (or denial) and a bookshelf full of feminist books promising liberation.
Today's detransitioners also have the effects of hormones and surgeries to contend with. But otherwise nothing much has changed.
4. Feminism made womanhood and femininity unattainable to most women today... under the banner of celebrating and empowering women. Feminism's concept of empowering women is to abandon womanhood and aspire to live more like a man. Today only rich women can afford to live a feminine lifestyle that used to be available to all (such as raising your own children). Feminism's idea of empowerment is having to abandon your children to perfect strangers each day.
In the same way trans is destroying gender, under the banner of celebrating it. What is being celebrated and promoted is actually the de-gendering of society (following on from feminism's own progress in this area). Non binary and asexual (and sterilised) bodies is the new normal.
Most women have mundane jobs today NOT fancy pants careers. And most trans people will end up with genderless bodies and identities too, not masculine or feminine.
5. patriarchy is a society where women's (and by extension children's) comfort, safety, survival and access to resources is prioritised over their freedom.... and men's obligations to provide those things to women is prioritised over their own comfort, safety or even their lives.
Patriarchy is men acting as the hard outer shell to protect women and children, and supply them with resources. In a patriarchy women occupy a role that is mid way between child and adult. Women sacrifice a bit of their agency - and transfer it to men - in order that men keep them safe and comfortable.
Patriarchy is a compromise women make, because most women prefer to sacrifice a little freedom for security and comfort.
What liberated women in the 20th century was technology, which raised living standards and reduced scarcity. If a meteorite struck Earth tomorrow and sent us back to the middle ages I can guarantee women would demand full blown patriarchy again, and would raise their children to adhere to ultra traditional gender roles.
In modern society most women enjoy greater independence and autonomy thanks to modern technology (paved streets, street lamps, service industry jobs, supermarkets, washing machines etc).
Feminists are women who demand resources and special treatment from men (redistributed by force via the state) without offering anything to those men in return (not even a sandwich). Feminism is a kind of ULTRA patriarchy. It is a harem system.
I agree 100%. Perfectly encapsulates this cynical nasty pernicious bullshit. I teach at a progressive university among the zealots and it is so disheartening how indoctrinated the students are. I’ve been taken to task for daring to say that it’s not true that women weren’t allowed to work prior to the Sexual Revolution, and that the reason women were denied credit cards is because they were supported by their husbands. They are being taught to read literature through a hateful lens and all manner of devil’s advocate can’t seem to impose a sense of romance on these poor souls. It’s heartbreaking.
Well done! More parents need to hold the schools responsible for this insanity. How did entire schools become indoctrinated by this weird ideology? What switch was flicked? If someone had told you this would be the case 5 or 10 years ago. Would any of us have believed it? Pure madness, pure unadulterated madness!
The school was in the wrong. 100%. I am wondering why in 10th grade when the parents found out the lies they still kept her in this school. Be bold. Pull your kids. I have a friend that sold her house and moved in 30 days after seeing her daughter asking questions about this ideology. She saved her by the way.
Yes, I was wondering the same. Is any elite education worth the price of a child ending up seeking mutilating drugs and surgeries? I hope that isn't the case for this young woman, but given that her parents have known for 2 years and she still identifies as male, and is off to college doesn't sound good. I would keep her at home at least a year and to focus on this issue for the year: helping her get better from this mental illness. It's a bit akin to having an eating disorder: plenty of parents are advised to keep their child home from college for a year or two to recover from the eating disorder, then, and only then resume college.
If the parents could afford a top private school, they could afford a reality-based homeschooling program.
And what of the other daughter? Hopefully she is not there, or anywhere else that this is being taught, or secrets kept.
All this said, I do understand that the parents were likely in shock and may have taken a long time to fully appreciate what was being done to their oldest daughter. And nothing excuses this school's appalling lack of respect for parents, students, science, or reality.
presumably the child is now 18 & hence legally "an adult" and free to make decisions, such as whether to go to college.
Yea, she can still go, but if parents refused to pay, she'd be scrambling to pay for school and housing. She wouldn't be eligible le for financial aid from 2 years after becoming financially independent de t from her parents. During that time of working to support herself, it might give her the pause she needs to reconsider her inculcation.
Yes. sending her off is the scariest part. I pulled my boys for much less. The PE teacher told my 13 year old and his friends that the girls in bras and binders in the BOYS locker rooms are BOYS. They went to her because they were uncomfortable changing down to underwear in front of them. I pulled my son the next day. This isn't a wait and see what happens environment. It is a sacrifice and costly. My family member is captured and it is devastating.
Wow, that's crazy. Even the male coach is captured. Glad you pulled them. Parents shouldn't have to. I'm sorry a family member is going through this.
Oops, female coach.
Sue the school otherwise they won’t listen
Yes!
This article tracks our experience pretty well. Our experience was a few years earlier and we could not get a lawyer to take our case. We tried. Things are changing now.
When we got wind of the situation and asked our private high school to call our daughter by her name and reality based pronouns - and pointed to parts of the handbook which supported working with families generally - they responded by changing the handbook.
Heartbreaking and infuriating. I'm still glad you spoke up.
Except that they changed the Handbook so that it worked against us and for the Gender Cult - when we pointed to the handbook for support.
I hope that when parents with younger children ask you about enrolling their kids in this school you tell them to run for their lives. You don't need to tell the details of your situation but tell them it is not a place that supports healthy parent-child bond.
Yes. Leave the school a blistering, fact-filled, specific Yelp review, and review on other review sites.
Sadly, this is everywhere. Do you know anywhere that is safe? I saw something about OH Catholic schools supporting reality. Maybe someplace in DeSantis's Florida is healthy? Pretty much nowhere else in America is reality based as far as I know.
There is no choice but exhausting vigilance. Parents who wonder which private schools are not captured - this is my advice - With Jesuit (schools will state they are Jesuit very proudly) schools and universities please assume they are captured. Catholic (and not Jesuit schools) can be guessed by the locality in most cases. If the school is in or near to a liberal city, it has a very high likelihood of being captured. If the city has a Jesuit university pumping out teachers then those graduates, who will be in the local catholic schools, will be captured and turning the school. As for secular, non-catholic or non-christian schools (and most have a Christian founder they are trying to bury knowledge of) you need to assume they are ideologically liberal affirmers useless you see in writing that they are not. And "elite" = captured.
Yep…we have 4 sons that attended a Jesuit high school…they are as leftist as they come…from open borders to this trans bullsh!t…they are ALL IN.
Its very sad. They left their brains somewhere in South America. We have our son in an all-boys non-Jesuit HS but I'm not easing up on my oversight for a minute. The Jesuit Pope has spoken out frequently against gender bullsh!t but he's not the General so makes no difference.
The Jesuits, as a group, were formerly known for a strong intellectual foundation but this is no longer the case. Individual Jesuits may be honest, logical thinkers but as a group they lost their way. Its very sad.
I'm sorry, but there's nothing logical or reality-based about believing in ghosts or dieties. Let's be honest. Anyone who can fall for one make-believe can fall for another.
We also shouldn't be trusting or assuming anyone or any group hasn't fallen for this. It's just too widespread and as with all make-believe, is being manipulatively sold.