PITT - not just for parents
Gender ideology is a concern for all
I'm a man, traditionally defined, that is biologically male. I am predominantly heterosexually attracted, but not completely without some same-sex attraction. I suppose I embody the dictionary definition of a bisexual man. Although my exploring has been done, I'm relationship-oriented, and I'm unlikely to pursue a relationship with a man. I'm 57 years old.
In my younger days, I misidentified as gay. I had a childhood history of sexual abuse by a family member, as well as physical and emotional abuse by my parents. I was a classic abused kid - a bed-wetter, often acting out, a smart kid who was hyper and unfocused, a discipline case at school. I was sexually confused as soon as I was aware of any sexual feelings at all. I had no idea who I was.
I ran afoul of my parents as an adolescent for my gender-bending, new-wave fashion sense and for what appeared to be emerging ambiguous sexuality. I left their home shortly after high school after being confronted about it. I fell into a series of sugar-daddy/boy-toy relationships and sporadic street prostitution. I developed a serious alcohol addiction and I'm intimately familiar with a laundry-list of other drugs. I've used plenty of them. I'm in recovery today.
What I'm getting to is that the current trans phenomenon - and "affirming gender care" - are horrifying to me. I hang on every story told by a detransitioner because I absolutely would have been one, had the trans phenomenon been a thing when I was young. My models of masculinity growing up had been utterly dysfunctional. I had actually said, many times, "if that's what a man is, I don't want to be one."
I was affirmed in my adopted gay identity by half of the people around me - condemned for it by the other half. Looking back, I didn't even matter. I was grist for the mill of a cultural brawl between two absolutist ideological camps - homophobes and those who were gung-ho to affirm gayness at any cost, whether it was real or not. Bisexuality wasn't one of the options, and nobody, on any side, ever considered the comorbidities of childhood sexual abuse and mental health issues. Nobody ever asked any real questions about how and what I was feeling - not without an implied agenda.
Sound familiar?
I'd love to go on, and I will if you'd like. Ask me questions, and I'll answer them. I could address further incidents of exploitation and abuse by people in recovery programs - my first AA sponsor, twice my age, drew me into a predatory sexual relationship - a "13th step" - look it up if you must. Counselors and other helping professionals simply assumed my gayness. This was all in my late teens and early twenties. I attempted suicide at twenty-three.
So, seeing what's happening with trans-identified kids today - the affirmation-only model of care, the role of social contagion, the glitter families, alienation of family members, underlying mental health issues being routinely ignored or denied - it's all, for me, and I imagine for many others, if you'll pardon the terms, triggering and re-traumatizing. That should be deeply disconcerting, but triggers and re-traumatizing don't count when they fly in the face of the dominant gender narrative. Detransitioners get ignored, and so do people like me.
I’m not a parent so it may seem odd that I sent this piece to PITT. But Tomorrow is Gender-Critical Coming-Out Day and I want to share my story. I'll add that I'm a lifelong political progressive, still very gay-friendly. I have the occasional shameless man-crush. I am a man and a Feminist - just not the kind that is fashionable at the moment. I'm not right-wing, nor terribly religious. I did finally get a college degree - SOC/PHI - at forty.
My gender critical position isn't coming from a place of right-wing politics, hate, bigotry, religion, or ignorance. It is coming from a lifetime of experience and a feeling of dread that I escaped the fate many confused youngsters are facing today. I felt I had to write. This isn’t a battle just for parents and I’m happy to join.
For more on this author.
Good article. Thanks for writing and being part of this wide movement to protect children from this ideology.
Just a point I would like to make.
Stringing together the terms "right-wing politics, hate, bigotry, religion, or ignorance." is unfortunate.
The vast majority of people who are considered "right wing" or are religious are not people who hate or are bigoted or are ignorant.
This broad brush is a smear (often pushed by the media and academia) that needs to be pushed back against, much like the gender stereotypes that lead to some who don't fit those stereotypes today being told maybe they are trans.
Time to stop these stereotypes.
Thanks for your comment. Like you, i dont have an affected kid. But i do have kids and a background that tracks with yours in some ways. when a dude was reported at LA Spa in los angeles in 2021 exposing himself to women and girls, i thought it was a hoax. the LAPD initially issued a statement that seemed to confirm it was. and right wing groups were protesting. as a life long democrat i thought the entire thing was cooked up by andy nu, a guy that sometimes does right wing media stuff for tucker carlson.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11555915/Transgender-pervert-arrested-15-months-exposed-women-Wi-Spa-LA.html
after i learned it was true, a light bulb went off in my head. i was a pretty severe alcoholic from age 15 to 23. after that i was a pretty severe porn addict which also included agp and other "trans" type porn. i knew immediately what gender ideology was. its a fraud promoted by fetishists who are using laws designed to protect marginalized groups, such as women, kids, gays, people of color, ect, for the benefit of adult fetishists who are pretending to be marginalized when in reality their fetish is nothing more than a hobby or in some cases an porn addiction. i had been following the blogs of dudes who claimed to be "transgender" for decades and knew all of them either had untreated pysch issues and were using trans as a DIY coping tool or were people that just were using trans as a hobby and a way to get kicks. i have worked as an analyst on public projects. i saw how government gave consultants hired to implement new
diversity laws were given carte blanche and were allowed implement much more diversity measures than what the laws stated. this didnt mater really, since the issue at hand was usually collecting data and other things i cant remember. but the thing that stuck with me is how government simply provided whatever was requested. there is no intra government mechanism that pushes back against activist initiatives. government employees dont care and dont have authority to oppose policies made at a higher level. gender ideology policies are made by other government employees who arbitrarily enact policy without knowing anything about it. all of the gender ideology policies have been presented as just another inclusive policy to help gays. they dont realise that sterilizing gays to address normal issues most grow out of is actually the most homophobic thing of all time. every gender ideology stat and claim is a lie. as a former analysists, it usllat just takes a minute to check gender biz claims and see that all are based on meaningless online polls , short term low quality studys that measure 9 months of placebo or 2nd hand nurse notes of after care visits. these stats and claims are nothing other than a carefully crafted PR and lobby campaign. UK medical group BMJ feb 2023 report gender dysphoria in youth is rising gets into the weeds and explains why some think gender "care" helps. its not based on evidence. its based on unevidenced claims of quack drs who are getting rich harming vulnerable people.
the way to counter this is by people speaking up and getting involved. government works by trial. they try something until people say no. thanks again for your voice.