I am hand delivering 121 to the lawmakers in California, plus the Governor. One of them will be touched, but none of them will be able to claim ignorance.
I have purchased three books: one for me which is on my coffee table and three friends who have been to visit picked it up to browse which opened up the door to communicate the truth about transgender ideology. I asked them to please purchase this book in support of exposing the lies;
I gave one of the copies to my daughter so she can further educate herself and protect my sweet 4-year-old granddaughter from this cult; and I sent one copy to my friend of 33 years who lives across the country to try and educate her because she openly has stated over the years that “trans people are real and need to be supported.” After she began reading this book she sent me this text message “I'm a total snowflake libtard (and proud of it) and the section "Parents on Gender Ideology" really hit me over the head with a proverbial hammer.” She now understands what we are all fighting for and why!
Buy the book! Share the truth - your truth, our truth. I am buying 2 more books this week to give one to my new boss (retired Marine but a bit too liberal), and one copy for my 75 year-old friend, Jeanne who allowed me to educate her and shock her with this transgender-cult ideology but who has stood by my side and supported me while I fight this fight. It is a great book and so powerful.
Happy to say it was available at the nearest B&N to me, and I ordered for pick-up. I'm thinking of putting it in the free library box location near me.
It really is excellent. I’ve sent out 5 copies, to people who are slightly interested, but don’t completely understand. I’m ordering more for my church and a few counselors who won’t be angry to receive it.
They are selling it. They also sold The Irreversible Damage. I buy from them because if none of us buy from Amazon they will stop selling and considering how widespread Amazon is, they can reach far and wide.
Thank you, I just purchased three. I know I will need to share it with other parents whose children (minor and adult) have suffered from this ideology.
I have bought two copies so far and expect to buy more. I gave the first copy to my doc, whose practice is focused on kids, before having a chance to read myself. I've followed PITT since they launched so I've read the stories already--it's more important for her to read than for me to keep a copy around. There are many places to spend your money in this fight and others need support and are also doing good work. But if you can afford it, please prioritize buying multiple copies of this book to share with people who should read it. Stories get through to people more than anything. I second the request for an audiobook version!
I bought the book at Barnes and Nobles. And promoting it to my list. May this book continue to earn its way into the consciousness of parents. I bought my book at Barnes and Nobles. It was in the Babies, Parenting section. On the first shelf where Baby books were. Strange. Well, as expected, it wasn't displayed in such a way as to catch attention. It was the only book in the parenting section that was about this theme. The rest of that Barnes and Nobles was a disappointment overall. It had a huge section for "children" filled with books featuring fantasy tales and books with gothic and disturbing titles, and lurid looking images, and hardly any classics or beautiful books with uplifting front covers. The whole store had a weird vibe. As you know, public libraries, like my own, feature titles like "Queer and Trans" right in the center of the kids section or need check out station....This started already back in 2018.
This is the truth, a great many of those alternative family type representations of books, in kid & teen fiction, parenting, mental health. But very few like the PITT book. At least my library has purchased Dr Grossman’s Lost in Trans Nation
Yes, it's quite shocking. If you want to investigate your local public library, you'll see what is going on. If you are a parent with young children or teens -- and have the mental focus and energy to seek out the Library supervisor to hold a conversation about why they do this, it may be quite interesting. Or, lodge a calm complaint about this overt peddling of "queer and trans" etc literature vs. time honored classics?
It's an engrossing read, although a painful one. I'm taking it slowly, and I still haven't quite finished it.
One of the things that strikes me is how the parents vary. There are Christians, and there are secular humanists. There are conservatives, there are liberals, and there are some who were liberal but now blame liberalism for what happened to their kids. There are some who always knew transness was nonsense, and others who obediently affirmed their kids until they saw how it went.
I value this book because it shows some of the human cost of this mania. The primary victims are the kids, but the collateral damage shouldn't be ignored.
Thank you for this. I have sent the book to the head of UCSF's gender clinic and encourage others to consider doing something similar. I have also sent a copy to the affirming therapist who offered us such bad advice. I have submitted a request at our local library, but intend to donate my copy there - as I expect the request to be declined.
Mine was declined. I didn’t think to ask if they would accept a donation. Would they be obliged to put it on the shelf? I assumed it was a policy decision
I also assume it is a policy decision. But perhaps its worth the chat with a reference librarian and an offer of the physical book? At least that's another conversation had.
Personally, I would rather send it to people whose hearts and minds CAN be changed (Or those who at least have hearts and minds). Sending it to the head of UCSF gender clinic is like sending Richard Dawkin's book to the Pope ... Or sending the Bible to Richard Dawkins , depending on whose mind you would like to change :) Sorry, this is not to criticize what you did. Who knows, maybe the book will get in the hands of someone like Jamie Reed. at UCSF .
I’ll buy today. Wondering though, as a parent, how do we prevent kids from walking this path? I’m new here but a common thread seems to be “I didn’t see this coming”. Looking back, what should parents be doing or not doing? Just curious- no judgement on parents for sure.
I have spent the last few years trying to understand what happened to me and what's happening to so many ( mostly young ) people today. One of the many things I realized is that, like with cancer, there are 5 stages in the trans life.
The content and duration of those stages are different because people are different but they usually go that way:
1) Interest and sympathy.
You hear about friends transitioning,
" coming out as their true self", you see a community that's love bombing them, glorifying them, promising the end of their inner suffering, loneliness and feeling of inadequacy and it attracts you.
This is the only stage you can stop a pre transitioner in his/her track, with counter affirmation, physical removal from affirming live friends or websites ,when possible, exposing to facts ( while they re still listening), to the testimonials of detransitioners, offering to belong to different communities ( youth group, sports team, common interest group...)
2) coming out and honeymoon phase
This is by far the best ( or the worst if you are a PITT) phase .
You finally belong, you believe it's gonna last forever, some of your inner turmoil is in remission ( or so you think). Those who oppose you are intolerant bigots who don't want you you to be happy and you have to ditch them out of your life
3) insecurity and paranoia with possible radicalization
The honeymoon is over. Reality sets in.
Despite all your efforts, you don't " pass" as the other gender, you second guess your every move, you believe people hate you and want to kill you, you hear and believe the common conspiracy theme spread by radical trans that the world wants to genocide all the trans.
The trans woman who shot all those innocent people in Nashville was in that stage.
4) depression and doubts
This stage is the best and the worst.
The worst because you come to realize that transitioning was not what it was all cracked up to be and has not delivered in bringing you the peace and happiness you were longing for. Suicide ideation is very high at this point.
The best because, unlike stages 2 or 3 when it's nearly impossible to get a trans out of it, this time is when your trans kid might be open to receive help, listen ( to a point), and be receptive to your unconditional love and welcome in search for hope.
5) Best case scenario, SLOW , very slow reconciliation with your gender, your family...
Ability to see a light at the end of the tunnel, a hope for a better life
Your son is in the 3d stage.
Any attempt to meet him will be perceived as an attack since in his mind you rejected him.
Depending what level of communication you have with grandma, warn her that with paranoid behavior comes a higher risk of self harm so she can be aware and maybe inform you if something concerns her. She should agree since she is affirming him because she cares and wants him happy, and safe, right? If she gives you push back, remind her that.
Keep writing to him but only for special occasions like birthdays, Christmas...
Soon you might have more of a role in his life. Be patient.
When you leave a letter at the house, don't put it in an envelope.
An envelope is easier to throw away without looking at it than an open letter Use an attractive color paper and a short message. A couple sentences. To the point. I will always love you. I have never and would never reject you. I want a happy life for you. I'll always be there for you. I'll always be your mom...You get the idea.
Your last 2 sentences should get in there too.
He might read it. He might remember it on one of life s rainy day. It might spark the beginning of a relationship some day.
Don't lose hope.
I understand your need for a supportive community.
I would meet people and be more public if I didn't need to protect my family.
Nearly every detransitioners has received death threats. We are a threat to the trans narrative so better dead than dissent.
I feel PITT does a great job to inform and lift people up.
To this day, I feel ashamed of the way I treated my dad. Belittling him, calling him names and ignoring him for years.
I feel it's my redemptive duty, if that's a thing, to comfort and encourage parents who are being hurt , mistreated and ignored by their trans kid.
No parent is perfect but unless a parent has badly abused their kid and belong to jail, nobody deserves to be treated that way.
I've started to save my favorite parent resources.
Hilarious and clever (though disagreeable to some) piece about how to mentally protect children from trans ideology. Some very useful wake up anecdotes. Not all might be appealing. Oh well.
If you know it's happening you can already do something. Many people had no idea it was happening. They need to learn about it from you first... Miriam Grossman's book is also good and I'm sure so will be Ayad and O'Malley's!
Watch documentaries with them, like “Gender Transformation” which is an excellent portrayal of how kids get taken in, based on a true story, “Trans Train” (Swedish with English overdub) and “Detransition Diaries” as well as testimonials by detransitioners like Chloe Cole, KC Miller, Helena Kerschener, Abel Garcia and so many others. Depending on the age. The first hand experience of detransitioners is powerful. Reddit Detrans, 50k individuals. Genspect has excellent resources. Just a start. It depends on the age. Ditch Discord, TikTok, others I can’t think of but I’m sure you can read here. That’s crucial.
I recommend against sending a child to any overnight camps where you cannot discuss what goes on over dinner every night. You also want to delve into what is taught during the school day. Often times GI is worked into the normal classroom curriculum on top of Gay-Straight Alliances and All School Assemblies where GI can ride along under DIE/Kindness And Understanding lessons. And, you might find that some friends of your child are believers in GI or that their parents undermine your parenting. Look for any change in behavior on the part of your child - especially any sign that he/she is becoming at all withdrawn.
I agree with Verzweifelte that we teach them the facts about biological sex, but I would also teach them about the lies they may be told in school, so when they hear the lie, no matter how good it sounds, they think, "Oh, yeah, I heard this before." Teach them there may be people at their school that tell them that sex is biological, but gender is something else, something on a spectrum and that there are many genders. They may be told their parents may not believe this, but their parents are just ignorant or uneducated. I think the key is preparing them with the lies they will hear and preparing them for it, because GI is a clever monster.
Teach your child crystal clear: there are only two sexes, male and female, they are fixed before the child is born and they can't be changed. By questions about XY in the class saying he/she is trans, teach the children that XY is confused and need time to sort the things out.
If you suspect that your child have mental health issues, try to diagnose them and look further, if the child is in need of Therapie. Do not trust therapiests, supervise all you can very close.
Yes, we did not know - back when - to discuss how there are only two sexes with our daughter. It is so obvious! The difficult thing about getting a mental health problem diagnosed is that the child could walk into the GI trap as GI answers everything! So, I would add that anyone who interacts with the child professionally must be thoroughly vetted. Also, I would add that you cannot just trust people at the school the child attends. And, you need to be more critical regarding your child's friends than we were.
Yes, this all as easy as 2*2=4, if you stick to facts you can proof. When someone takes us all on a journey in the Phantasieworld, it's time to realize, that language is mankind's most powerful weapon. Don't use any translanguage with your kids. There's no cis or trans people, they are men and women. Don't speak about hormontherapie, it's chemical castration. There is no such a thing as top or bottom surgery, it's amputation.
I am hand delivering 121 to the lawmakers in California, plus the Governor. One of them will be touched, but none of them will be able to claim ignorance.
I have purchased three books: one for me which is on my coffee table and three friends who have been to visit picked it up to browse which opened up the door to communicate the truth about transgender ideology. I asked them to please purchase this book in support of exposing the lies;
I gave one of the copies to my daughter so she can further educate herself and protect my sweet 4-year-old granddaughter from this cult; and I sent one copy to my friend of 33 years who lives across the country to try and educate her because she openly has stated over the years that “trans people are real and need to be supported.” After she began reading this book she sent me this text message “I'm a total snowflake libtard (and proud of it) and the section "Parents on Gender Ideology" really hit me over the head with a proverbial hammer.” She now understands what we are all fighting for and why!
Buy the book! Share the truth - your truth, our truth. I am buying 2 more books this week to give one to my new boss (retired Marine but a bit too liberal), and one copy for my 75 year-old friend, Jeanne who allowed me to educate her and shock her with this transgender-cult ideology but who has stood by my side and supported me while I fight this fight. It is a great book and so powerful.
That’s so positive & I am happy for you. I hope the people I buy this for will actually read it
Pre-ordered and received! Thank you!
Happy to say it was available at the nearest B&N to me, and I ordered for pick-up. I'm thinking of putting it in the free library box location near me.
I put in a request at the New York Public Library. Please join me in requesting it there, so there will be lots of copies available at many branches!
It really is excellent. I’ve sent out 5 copies, to people who are slightly interested, but don’t completely understand. I’m ordering more for my church and a few counselors who won’t be angry to receive it.
well worth the read!
Great idea to leave them in the neighborhood street library boxes.
I am not a fan of Amazon, so I looked for other sources here in the UK. Predictably Waterstones says "It is not available" - which means their TRA buyer refused to stock it. But Blackwells is much more open-minded. UK customers can order here: https://blackwells.co.uk/bookshop/product/Parents-With-Inconvenient-Truths-About-Trans-by-Josie-A-editor-Dina-S-editor/9781634312462 Free postage!
They are selling it. They also sold The Irreversible Damage. I buy from them because if none of us buy from Amazon they will stop selling and considering how widespread Amazon is, they can reach far and wide.
Thank you, I just purchased three. I know I will need to share it with other parents whose children (minor and adult) have suffered from this ideology.
I have bought two copies so far and expect to buy more. I gave the first copy to my doc, whose practice is focused on kids, before having a chance to read myself. I've followed PITT since they launched so I've read the stories already--it's more important for her to read than for me to keep a copy around. There are many places to spend your money in this fight and others need support and are also doing good work. But if you can afford it, please prioritize buying multiple copies of this book to share with people who should read it. Stories get through to people more than anything. I second the request for an audiobook version!
I bought the book at Barnes and Nobles. And promoting it to my list. May this book continue to earn its way into the consciousness of parents. I bought my book at Barnes and Nobles. It was in the Babies, Parenting section. On the first shelf where Baby books were. Strange. Well, as expected, it wasn't displayed in such a way as to catch attention. It was the only book in the parenting section that was about this theme. The rest of that Barnes and Nobles was a disappointment overall. It had a huge section for "children" filled with books featuring fantasy tales and books with gothic and disturbing titles, and lurid looking images, and hardly any classics or beautiful books with uplifting front covers. The whole store had a weird vibe. As you know, public libraries, like my own, feature titles like "Queer and Trans" right in the center of the kids section or need check out station....This started already back in 2018.
This is the truth, a great many of those alternative family type representations of books, in kid & teen fiction, parenting, mental health. But very few like the PITT book. At least my library has purchased Dr Grossman’s Lost in Trans Nation
Christ!
Yes, it's quite shocking. If you want to investigate your local public library, you'll see what is going on. If you are a parent with young children or teens -- and have the mental focus and energy to seek out the Library supervisor to hold a conversation about why they do this, it may be quite interesting. Or, lodge a calm complaint about this overt peddling of "queer and trans" etc literature vs. time honored classics?
It's an engrossing read, although a painful one. I'm taking it slowly, and I still haven't quite finished it.
One of the things that strikes me is how the parents vary. There are Christians, and there are secular humanists. There are conservatives, there are liberals, and there are some who were liberal but now blame liberalism for what happened to their kids. There are some who always knew transness was nonsense, and others who obediently affirmed their kids until they saw how it went.
I value this book because it shows some of the human cost of this mania. The primary victims are the kids, but the collateral damage shouldn't be ignored.
The collateral damage is the family - parents, aunts, uncles, siblings.... many relatives who never wanted to be dragged into a mental conflict.
Thank you for this. I have sent the book to the head of UCSF's gender clinic and encourage others to consider doing something similar. I have also sent a copy to the affirming therapist who offered us such bad advice. I have submitted a request at our local library, but intend to donate my copy there - as I expect the request to be declined.
Mine was declined. I didn’t think to ask if they would accept a donation. Would they be obliged to put it on the shelf? I assumed it was a policy decision
In my public library they don't add donations to circulation. They just put them with their used books for the public to buy, which is a shame.
I also assume it is a policy decision. But perhaps its worth the chat with a reference librarian and an offer of the physical book? At least that's another conversation had.
Send it to the president of UCSF and their insurance people.....
Personally, I would rather send it to people whose hearts and minds CAN be changed (Or those who at least have hearts and minds). Sending it to the head of UCSF gender clinic is like sending Richard Dawkin's book to the Pope ... Or sending the Bible to Richard Dawkins , depending on whose mind you would like to change :) Sorry, this is not to criticize what you did. Who knows, maybe the book will get in the hands of someone like Jamie Reed. at UCSF .
That's right. But it's sending a message!
Well done!
Here's how to request a book to the Toronto Public Library: https://www.torontopubliclibrary.ca/books-video-music/recommend-a-title/
I’ll buy today. Wondering though, as a parent, how do we prevent kids from walking this path? I’m new here but a common thread seems to be “I didn’t see this coming”. Looking back, what should parents be doing or not doing? Just curious- no judgement on parents for sure.
A comment that meant a lot to me from Helene:
I have spent the last few years trying to understand what happened to me and what's happening to so many ( mostly young ) people today. One of the many things I realized is that, like with cancer, there are 5 stages in the trans life.
The content and duration of those stages are different because people are different but they usually go that way:
1) Interest and sympathy.
You hear about friends transitioning,
" coming out as their true self", you see a community that's love bombing them, glorifying them, promising the end of their inner suffering, loneliness and feeling of inadequacy and it attracts you.
This is the only stage you can stop a pre transitioner in his/her track, with counter affirmation, physical removal from affirming live friends or websites ,when possible, exposing to facts ( while they re still listening), to the testimonials of detransitioners, offering to belong to different communities ( youth group, sports team, common interest group...)
2) coming out and honeymoon phase
This is by far the best ( or the worst if you are a PITT) phase .
You finally belong, you believe it's gonna last forever, some of your inner turmoil is in remission ( or so you think). Those who oppose you are intolerant bigots who don't want you you to be happy and you have to ditch them out of your life
3) insecurity and paranoia with possible radicalization
The honeymoon is over. Reality sets in.
Despite all your efforts, you don't " pass" as the other gender, you second guess your every move, you believe people hate you and want to kill you, you hear and believe the common conspiracy theme spread by radical trans that the world wants to genocide all the trans.
The trans woman who shot all those innocent people in Nashville was in that stage.
4) depression and doubts
This stage is the best and the worst.
The worst because you come to realize that transitioning was not what it was all cracked up to be and has not delivered in bringing you the peace and happiness you were longing for. Suicide ideation is very high at this point.
The best because, unlike stages 2 or 3 when it's nearly impossible to get a trans out of it, this time is when your trans kid might be open to receive help, listen ( to a point), and be receptive to your unconditional love and welcome in search for hope.
5) Best case scenario, SLOW , very slow reconciliation with your gender, your family...
Ability to see a light at the end of the tunnel, a hope for a better life
Your son is in the 3d stage.
Any attempt to meet him will be perceived as an attack since in his mind you rejected him.
Depending what level of communication you have with grandma, warn her that with paranoid behavior comes a higher risk of self harm so she can be aware and maybe inform you if something concerns her. She should agree since she is affirming him because she cares and wants him happy, and safe, right? If she gives you push back, remind her that.
Keep writing to him but only for special occasions like birthdays, Christmas...
Soon you might have more of a role in his life. Be patient.
When you leave a letter at the house, don't put it in an envelope.
An envelope is easier to throw away without looking at it than an open letter Use an attractive color paper and a short message. A couple sentences. To the point. I will always love you. I have never and would never reject you. I want a happy life for you. I'll always be there for you. I'll always be your mom...You get the idea.
Your last 2 sentences should get in there too.
He might read it. He might remember it on one of life s rainy day. It might spark the beginning of a relationship some day.
Don't lose hope.
I understand your need for a supportive community.
I would meet people and be more public if I didn't need to protect my family.
Nearly every detransitioners has received death threats. We are a threat to the trans narrative so better dead than dissent.
I feel PITT does a great job to inform and lift people up.
To this day, I feel ashamed of the way I treated my dad. Belittling him, calling him names and ignoring him for years.
I feel it's my redemptive duty, if that's a thing, to comfort and encourage parents who are being hurt , mistreated and ignored by their trans kid.
No parent is perfect but unless a parent has badly abused their kid and belong to jail, nobody deserves to be treated that way.
Best wishes
I think it is a big deal for parents to understand how children encounter this stuff and get into it. They would never imagine. For example:
ROGD and paraphilia contagion. Autogynephilia on MtF.
https://sybmantics.substack.com/p/rapid-onset-autogynephilia
How autistic hypersensitives are induced to think they are trans
https://sybmantics.substack.com/p/stimulus-dysphoria
I've started to save my favorite parent resources.
Hilarious and clever (though disagreeable to some) piece about how to mentally protect children from trans ideology. Some very useful wake up anecdotes. Not all might be appealing. Oh well.
https://pitt.substack.com/p/teaching-our-children-about-gender?utm_source=post-email-title&publication_id=374402&post_id=135941941&isFreemail=true&utm_medium=email
Advice from a parent whose daughter desisted after two years
https://pitt.substack.com/p/from-darkness-to-desistance?utm_source=post-email-title&publication_id=374402&post_id=135876234&isFreemail=true&utm_medium=email
If you know it's happening you can already do something. Many people had no idea it was happening. They need to learn about it from you first... Miriam Grossman's book is also good and I'm sure so will be Ayad and O'Malley's!
Watch documentaries with them, like “Gender Transformation” which is an excellent portrayal of how kids get taken in, based on a true story, “Trans Train” (Swedish with English overdub) and “Detransition Diaries” as well as testimonials by detransitioners like Chloe Cole, KC Miller, Helena Kerschener, Abel Garcia and so many others. Depending on the age. The first hand experience of detransitioners is powerful. Reddit Detrans, 50k individuals. Genspect has excellent resources. Just a start. It depends on the age. Ditch Discord, TikTok, others I can’t think of but I’m sure you can read here. That’s crucial.
I recommend against sending a child to any overnight camps where you cannot discuss what goes on over dinner every night. You also want to delve into what is taught during the school day. Often times GI is worked into the normal classroom curriculum on top of Gay-Straight Alliances and All School Assemblies where GI can ride along under DIE/Kindness And Understanding lessons. And, you might find that some friends of your child are believers in GI or that their parents undermine your parenting. Look for any change in behavior on the part of your child - especially any sign that he/she is becoming at all withdrawn.
P.S. People and institutions that bring bad things to your children/family are normally ones that you trusted.
I agree with Verzweifelte that we teach them the facts about biological sex, but I would also teach them about the lies they may be told in school, so when they hear the lie, no matter how good it sounds, they think, "Oh, yeah, I heard this before." Teach them there may be people at their school that tell them that sex is biological, but gender is something else, something on a spectrum and that there are many genders. They may be told their parents may not believe this, but their parents are just ignorant or uneducated. I think the key is preparing them with the lies they will hear and preparing them for it, because GI is a clever monster.
Teach your child crystal clear: there are only two sexes, male and female, they are fixed before the child is born and they can't be changed. By questions about XY in the class saying he/she is trans, teach the children that XY is confused and need time to sort the things out.
If you suspect that your child have mental health issues, try to diagnose them and look further, if the child is in need of Therapie. Do not trust therapiests, supervise all you can very close.
I agree, be strong from the outset. I regret that I wavered....I was so blindsided. I don’t think I could speak for 2 weeks.
Yes, we did not know - back when - to discuss how there are only two sexes with our daughter. It is so obvious! The difficult thing about getting a mental health problem diagnosed is that the child could walk into the GI trap as GI answers everything! So, I would add that anyone who interacts with the child professionally must be thoroughly vetted. Also, I would add that you cannot just trust people at the school the child attends. And, you need to be more critical regarding your child's friends than we were.
Yes, this all as easy as 2*2=4, if you stick to facts you can proof. When someone takes us all on a journey in the Phantasieworld, it's time to realize, that language is mankind's most powerful weapon. Don't use any translanguage with your kids. There's no cis or trans people, they are men and women. Don't speak about hormontherapie, it's chemical castration. There is no such a thing as top or bottom surgery, it's amputation.
Amen. The language is Orwellian and it is important not to use it.
For instance, how is using destructive to the female body Synthetic OPPOSITE Sex Hormones ever called Hormone REPLACEMENT Therapy ("HRT")?