When my daughter approached me and her father more than four years ago to tell us that she was a transgender boy, the floor dropped out beneath me. As I came quickly to understand, she was the embodiment of the Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria (ROGD) girl: well-meaning liberal parents, everything princessy and pink as a child, a chest full of dress-up clothing, and complete impatience for people who saw her short haircut and couldn’t see that OBVIOUSLY she was a girl. Obviously! But when she started high school, my cool baby feminist introduced herself as “Tommy,” and—again, another cliché—her teachers and the entire school administration conspired to call her “Tommy” and he/him at school, all the while using her real name to our faces, the faces of the only parents she’ll ever have.
"I even lost a 30-year friendship with a woman I considered my best friend in my field. This is a woman who once scolded me for “not trying hard enough” to breastfeed my daughter, and now she’s completely on board with medicalizing teenagers and amputating healthy body parts."
This has been one of the hardest parts of me to grapple with throughout this entire gender mess. Twentysome years ago, when I was having my first child, I fell into the cult of natural parenting. I didn't take it as far as some women but I dabbled in organic food, we had cheddar bunnies not goldfish, cloth diapers, breastfeeding, natural vaginal birth... for the most part, this was on-line, but out of it I did make some real life friends... it was a very pro-woman community. We were women, we were mothers, and gosh darnit we were going to fulfill our destinty and be the best mothers we could be. It was a very empowering form of feminism... respect for how the female body was special, for the things we could do that was unique to us, an appreciation of these things... women were meant to give birth! Women were meant to breastfeed! Etc. But of course paired with women can do ANYTHING, it wasn't like being mothers was ALL we could do... it was a healty balance between respect for womanhood and knowing it didn't limit us.
Over the years... I have drifted in and out of different on line communities and different real life friend groups... as the kids have grown it's gotten a lot harder to winnow down "the perfect mother" into a neat little list of ways to be perfect... and a lot of these women now, these women who were once so proud of what it meant to be a women, what amazing things our bodies can do... they are leading the band when it comes to trans issues. Women I thought would have cheered their daughters on to bravely tackle puberty are instead telling their daughters, who are saying "I don't like this," that maybe they are trans. That boys can have periods, too. The maybe they are non-binary. They are quick to correct anyone on line who mentions women or girls and periods that "not only women have periods."
They are leading the parade with "transwomen are women!" and "sex work is work!" and so many other things that chip away at women's protections and what a wonderful thing it is to be a woman. They are happily erasing woman centered language from everything surrounding birth in the name of "inclusion."
I keep joking that "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding" is going to be re-released as "The Peoply Art of Chestfeeding."
The shift in this population makes my head spin. Women you'd think would be strong supporters of our daughters as women - and our sons as men, really, since the goal was to be a good MOTHER, not only a good mother to daughters - have thrown themselves headlong into a movement that is destroying children's mental and sometimes physical health.
I hear you. These are the people who freaked out about hormones in chicken nuggets but are now happy to pump their children full of steroids. The dissonance must be intense.
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Thank you so much for sharing this. It is amazing to me how our society has been cowed into a position of speaking blatantly false things for fear, when if the majority simply spoke the truth this would never have become a thing, at least IMO.
Glad your daughter made it through. We’re still loving and praying for our daughter (not that that will stop at any point).
Thank you! I related to your article in so many ways. Our family is sooo close to being on the other side of this. Our daughter still is identifying as a boy at school but we are moving now to another state so she can go back to being a girl. She is looking forward to the move. One on one private conversations are the way to go when it will affect your kid to speak out publicly. I have been deeply disappointed by some friends and family but also supported by others. I love bringing this issue up with taxi drivers, waiters, repair-people, and other random people I run into when having casual conversations.
I. Love. This. I have been filling my calendar--now that my daughter is graduating from the very small education community she's been a part of the last two years--with mothers. Mothers of the children I've come to know while working in the same community. To apologize and explain why I had to navigate carefully while my daughter was there and to encourage them to inoculate their children against this dangerous movement and to make sure they are well-informed about what their children are learning. I agree we must model "real life", compassion, and productive communication skills. So good. Thank you for this piece!
New York's useful idiot governor Kathy Hochul just signed a bill to allow "non-binary" blah blah blah to put an X on their driver's license. When this obvious nonsense is encrypted into law we've got a very, very, very serious problem. It's poisoned the medical industry: What is your gender? is asked, instead of What is your sex? I respond: I DO NOT HAVE A GENDER. My SEX is female. I suggest organizing a protest. People need to get out on the streets and make a VISUAL IMPACT against this gas lighting nonsense.
Thank you for this. It supports us in our need to be honest and upright with our kids. I told mine that I cannot use those pronouns, because it is a violation of my rights as a free citizen to accept reality and science. My daughter isn't happy with me and shuts down conversations with excuses about her school work, but that doesn't stop her going out with friends (who affirm, confirm and support, rather than question and wonder.... they lay along)...
But I told her, it's about free will. And SO I can quote Martin Luther, replacing "Scriptures" by Science:
"Since your most serene majesty and your lordships require of me a simple, clear and direct answer, I will give one, and it is this: Unless I am convinced by the testimony of the Scriptures and by clear reason (for I do not trust in the pope or councils alone, since it is well known that they have often erred and contradicted themselves), I am bound by the Scriptures I have quoted. My conscience is captive to the Word of God. I cannot and I will not retract anything, since it is neither safe nor right to go against conscience. Here I stand. I cannot do otherwise."
Thank you for this essay and for speaking up. As a mom of a trans identifying teen in Canada I AM terrified to speak up and I'm immensely grateful for you and for anyone who has the courage to speak up. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I honestly don't think you'll be met with hostility if you're just honest with people. I think you should try to speak to other parents who may know a little bit about what your family is going through.
One of the easiest and most popular tools abusers have is to isolate their victims from one another. Bad bosses and co-workers do this. Cults do this to their victims/marks. I think we parents need to understand that we're being subjected to abuse by our children, who are themselves being abused and are passing along their cult rules to abuse us. Fighting isolation is the first step--and only you can take it. Choose your confidantes carefully, and as you find support and understanding, your confidence will grow.
It is not about hostility. It is that in Canada speaking up is a human rights violation and hate speech. My children can be taken away from me if it is knows that we are not affirming, and I obviously can't risk this. But thank you for your condesending (sorry, supportive) pep talk.
She is implying that I'm perpetuating the abuse cycle by not speaking up. You know who is perpetuating the abuse cycle? The author of this post. And yet I'm grateful that she can speak up, at least privately, if not publicly. But maybe it is her who needs to be told, kindly, that she shouldn't be afraid to be cancelled.
Everything she said was correct. (The "condescending" poster) You not being able to use the advice doesn't make it untrue or not good advice. It is just not good for you.
I posted about my situation being such that speaking up can lead to my children being taken away by the children's aid. She kindly "educates" me on how to grow my confidence. She equates a parent in my situation to a victim of abuse who needs to break the cycle and speak up. If this is not condescending, I don't know what is. I will speak up when my children are adults and can't be removed from me. I will never jeaopardize my children's safety. That was not a kind comment. That was a "try harder, honey," comment and frankly, I'm done with those.
You didn't say that your kids would be taken away until after her comment. She was nothing but nice and gave what would be good advice to most ppl in your situation, as ppl do on this site. Help. Share advice. Etc. It not being advice that is best for you doesn't make it condescending. Seems like you're making it what it isn't.
I am a progressive activist who has supported LGBT causes, rights and liberation my entire life. The modern iteration of transgender social contagion has caused me to revise my views due to the medical mutilation and disabling of healthy children. My commitment to second and third wave feminism is also quite offended by the stereotyping of women and young autistic women wanting to opt out of their sex.
I am repelled by the erasure of gays and lesbians from the rainbow coalition who shame them for their “genital preferences” and call them “transphobic” for not wanting to sleep with the opposite sex. It’s the “cotton ceiling” or the “boxer ceiling,” depending on whether lesbian and gay men are targeted. There are workshops for gay men to get over their aversion to vaginas.
I am not OK with being a nonconsensual NPC in older men’s autogynephilia for whom youth transition gives cover, the ultimate beard. When we ratify their illusion of womenhood, they get “gender euphoria” which is code for boners. I am not OK with children performing sexually suggestive dances in kid’s drag shows. Which also gives certain people boners. I am also not OK with the boners men get when they attempt to “chestfeed” infants, who become another prop in their urge to quell “dysphoria.”
Gender Ideology destroys lives. I recently advanced that bold statement and laid out the reasons why in this essay. It is an overview of the industry and its effects. I talk about what they do not want you to know. So does Matt Walsh’s new documentary What Is A Woman?"
"The term “groomer” is being disparaged as it relates to the injection of gender ideology in schools, but there is no other word for it. Children are being primed to question their gender, to find their true selves rather than learning to love themselves as they are.
Grooming: the deliberate act of bringing a child into a sexual, political, or racial ideology, practice, cult, or lifestyle without the knowledge or consent of his or her parents for the aim of isolating them from their family so the external party can abuse and manipulate them."
This is key: " bringing a child into a sexual, political, or racial ideology, practice, cult, or lifestyle without the knowledge or consent of his or her parents".
The fallacious notion is that GROOMING is sexual. That is not the case. Sexual is a part. But the essential aspect is "titillation" - giving a child knowledge which perverts or damages their innocence. This is why that guy was fired for reading "I need a new butt" to 2nd graders. To adults, this sounds like silliness. But to a 2nd grader, this is turning body parts and the various aspects of them into a premature piece of information. I was not sad to see his firing.
It is key - agreed. This is why so many of us parents describe GI as a cult. You could call it a lifestyle or whatever - the kid is isolated from family mentally even while eating at the dinner table after school.
Second, I hear this alot "I think xxx about gender identity/transgender issues AND I'm a liberal/liberal academic!!" Are the two perspectives incongruent? ... or is this a defense of "my view has credibility bc I'm not a right-wing conservative bigot"?
Why is that preface needed? Can only liberals love their children, support them, and also want to protect them from harm?
Maybe because this "movement" started with you? Not you personally... but with liberals/academics. If this would have been identified correctly from the beginning as a manifestation of mental illness and not a brave new civil rights issue, we wouldn't currently have to be stealthy and anonymous when communicating about it or risk losing our friends or jobs. That ship has sailed though unfortunately.
This never should have come as far as it has, but the ideology was nurtured and promoted through liberal academia, media, and politics, and of course all those who profit. Now we all are affected, including me and my family.
It definitely HAS to be liberals and liberal academics predominantly who do the work to stop the monster they created. And it needs to be loud, constant, and transparent - hiding the truth (i.e. reality) and being too cowardly to speak up is what gave this ideology the room to grow. Liberals have to lead the way, no one else can bc OF COURSE anyone not a liberal is racist, homophobic, misogynistic, etc. and are de facto unbelievable and transphobic (whatever that means).
Every person who opposes the trans ideology is demonized... where have I seen that tactic deployed before?
I am honestly embarrassed for my former tribe. I'm politically homeless now.
But you're right, Ciaoshannon--academia needs to step up and start cleaning up this mess. Having just watched Matt Walsh's "What is a Woman" mockumentary, all I can say is C R I N G E. I'm sure he stacked the deck with the especially stupid academics who couldn't be bothered to google him, but sheesh: what a bunch of idiots.
My strategy is to just state the truth: people can have whatever personalities, interests, clothing, grooming, etc. they prefer, but sex is real and binary, and it is authoritarian to expect others to lie. I think I've got enough allies to protect me in the event my views are deemed controversial, or hateful. But I'll keep talking, and keep urging parents of younger kids to remain vigilant with their babies.
I am fortunate to be in an empirical discipline--one that has evidence, facts as far as we can verify them, etc. I'm comfortable with being a truth-seeker.
I tend to think it must be the majority of academics who have drunk the Kool-Aid or at least see nothing wrong with it - or we would not be in this mess... One wonders who hires these people? And, keeps them employed? These were some pretty respected institutions. The idiots are running the show.
U.S. Academia (where I work now) is a very diverse experience--remember that we encompass everything from massive city-states like Ohio State or Penn State or UT Austin, tiny sectarian colleges, and small liberal arts colleges, in addition to the name-brand elite private institutions and marquee public institutions. It's also full of people who teach business and engineering, not English, comp lit, Sociology, and queer studies, but most of the outrage attention economy is focused on the latter disciplines at a few elite schools, rather than the majority of us schlubs who teach at comprehensive unis or small schools you've probably never heard of.
There's a massive epidemic of preference falsification happening right now on this issue. We in academia--ESPECIALLY those of us with tenure!--must find the courage to engage this issue honestly and without fear or favor. Those of us with doubts and questions must express them. We can't be angry about this situation if we refuse to talk to anyone about it.
I agree that it is most prevalent in certain disciplines at the more "elite" schools. Although, those schools are all in for paying for hormones and surgeries regardless of what a student's major is. Parents get bad surprises at Christmas. If it is true that the majority of academics elsewhere disagree with the madness, think that sex is binary and that people like WiLiaM Thomas and Marc/Marci Bowers are men - but are silent - they are silently complicit in the manner of people who did not believe in the "final solution" for Jews in Germany during the 1930s and 1940s. So, thank you for saying that "doubts" must be expressed.
I'm watching it right now. The psychiatrist Grossman is a very sensible woman. The rest of those who were interviewed are nincompoops, to use a technical term. You call it a "mockumentary". I really think that's incorrect - he gets people to tell their version. It's pretty clear that he uses deception to get the interviews - there is the "ambush interview" component. But he gets them to say their version of reality. It's clear that many of these people are deeply confused, and it is a terrible thing that these confused butchers are actually treating children.
Grossman was excellent, so was that one therapist who said kids are getting affirmed as meowing cats because it's a queer identity, and so was Jordan Peterson.
Yes. you are correct Ciao. As a person known to be 'traditional' my voice is automatically suspect because people like me don't actually think, we get everything spoon-fed from the patriarchy. I open my mouth and the eyeballs roll.
All true. Thank you for saying this. I'm grateful for the liberals who speak up for the reasons you mention, but I'm still amazed how many liberals can identify (correctly) what's wrong with the trans ideology, but are still completely blind to the equivalent issues with the CRT, for example.
There are a lot of ideas that might be productive in graduate seminars and in specialized research that can't or don't translate readily to the real world. CRT was a very provocative and productive idea 30+ years ago in legal scholarship, but in the grossly simplified way it has filtered down into K-12 schools, it seems foolish and counterproductive.
The issue is that "liberals" sound like "libertarians" or "licensious persons". Being a liberal used to mean "being open to new thinking". Increasingly, to be a liberal means that you must open your mind enough that your brain falls upon the pavement.
Glad to hear you have your daughter back from the brink.
Also glad to see other science professionals share my experience - privately, colleagues are trans-skeptical and resent the pronoun police, but are afraid to speak out. In public, they wear pride pins and talk about 'pregnant people'. It's madness.
I just will never understand how cowardly cowards can be. I can maybe understand just not saying anything on the subject, but to openly support it while inwardly being against it is cowardice and ridiculousness to the extreme.
Yes, and this is exactly what does a number on the kids & young people. They are gas-lit. All of the authorities except for their parents appear to endorse the cult.
Also, that "pregnant people" BS: every woman I've discussed this with finds this totally repulsive and offensive. Any woman who's pregnant and yet not reconciled to her female nature has bigger problems than the nouns medical staff use with her.
I am an anti-feminist (not the sentiment so much, but the ideology) , but being absolutely erased by this new ideology infuriates me to no end. Pregnant ppl, chest feeders, etc are asinine terms.
That's hypocrisy, and I don't do that. I don't have pronouns in my email, I've never put them on a nametag, and I won't announce them in meetings before I speak. I don't think it's right to perform the public rituals and then denounce them--that seems especially cowardly to me, but then I'm in a professional place where no one can make me do anything.
There’s an enormous amount of secondary gain for the parents of children who are transgender. Imagine, if the diagnosis were true (rare), would you call Barbra Walter’s, have a reality show, and march with your child in a sexualized pride parade? Hardly.Hopefully you would treat your child with TLC like any other ( I dare say) mental illness and keep it a private issue. This may start from the child being exposed on the internet but it’s perpetuated by parental ignorance and misguided love and often times a bizarre variation of munchausen by proxy.
It's narc heaven: everyone tells you how stunning and brave your whole GLITTER family is!
And everyone else is wrapped up in a bubble of pluralistic ignorance, avoiding eye contact with the children who are medicalized and mutilated before they hold hands with someone or have their first kiss.
yes! I joined a FB page for called something like "Transgender questions" and it's unbelievable. The parents are SO EXCITED to get their kids on T, or on blockers, and are going out of their way to present them with special Pride blue/pink cookies and whatnot. Many seem to be stay at home parents who have turned this into a new hobby.
Yes yes and yes! We need those who are not going through this with their children but understand what is happening to speak up. Please be a voice for those of us who are too afraid to talk because we don’t want to cause any more damage to the relationship we have with our children.
"I even lost a 30-year friendship with a woman I considered my best friend in my field. This is a woman who once scolded me for “not trying hard enough” to breastfeed my daughter, and now she’s completely on board with medicalizing teenagers and amputating healthy body parts."
This has been one of the hardest parts of me to grapple with throughout this entire gender mess. Twentysome years ago, when I was having my first child, I fell into the cult of natural parenting. I didn't take it as far as some women but I dabbled in organic food, we had cheddar bunnies not goldfish, cloth diapers, breastfeeding, natural vaginal birth... for the most part, this was on-line, but out of it I did make some real life friends... it was a very pro-woman community. We were women, we were mothers, and gosh darnit we were going to fulfill our destinty and be the best mothers we could be. It was a very empowering form of feminism... respect for how the female body was special, for the things we could do that was unique to us, an appreciation of these things... women were meant to give birth! Women were meant to breastfeed! Etc. But of course paired with women can do ANYTHING, it wasn't like being mothers was ALL we could do... it was a healty balance between respect for womanhood and knowing it didn't limit us.
Over the years... I have drifted in and out of different on line communities and different real life friend groups... as the kids have grown it's gotten a lot harder to winnow down "the perfect mother" into a neat little list of ways to be perfect... and a lot of these women now, these women who were once so proud of what it meant to be a women, what amazing things our bodies can do... they are leading the band when it comes to trans issues. Women I thought would have cheered their daughters on to bravely tackle puberty are instead telling their daughters, who are saying "I don't like this," that maybe they are trans. That boys can have periods, too. The maybe they are non-binary. They are quick to correct anyone on line who mentions women or girls and periods that "not only women have periods."
They are leading the parade with "transwomen are women!" and "sex work is work!" and so many other things that chip away at women's protections and what a wonderful thing it is to be a woman. They are happily erasing woman centered language from everything surrounding birth in the name of "inclusion."
I keep joking that "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding" is going to be re-released as "The Peoply Art of Chestfeeding."
The shift in this population makes my head spin. Women you'd think would be strong supporters of our daughters as women - and our sons as men, really, since the goal was to be a good MOTHER, not only a good mother to daughters - have thrown themselves headlong into a movement that is destroying children's mental and sometimes physical health.
I hear you. These are the people who freaked out about hormones in chicken nuggets but are now happy to pump their children full of steroids. The dissonance must be intense.
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Thank you so much for sharing this. It is amazing to me how our society has been cowed into a position of speaking blatantly false things for fear, when if the majority simply spoke the truth this would never have become a thing, at least IMO.
Glad your daughter made it through. We’re still loving and praying for our daughter (not that that will stop at any point).
I am praying for her too, and for you & your wife.
Thank you! I related to your article in so many ways. Our family is sooo close to being on the other side of this. Our daughter still is identifying as a boy at school but we are moving now to another state so she can go back to being a girl. She is looking forward to the move. One on one private conversations are the way to go when it will affect your kid to speak out publicly. I have been deeply disappointed by some friends and family but also supported by others. I love bringing this issue up with taxi drivers, waiters, repair-people, and other random people I run into when having casual conversations.
I. Love. This. I have been filling my calendar--now that my daughter is graduating from the very small education community she's been a part of the last two years--with mothers. Mothers of the children I've come to know while working in the same community. To apologize and explain why I had to navigate carefully while my daughter was there and to encourage them to inoculate their children against this dangerous movement and to make sure they are well-informed about what their children are learning. I agree we must model "real life", compassion, and productive communication skills. So good. Thank you for this piece!
New York's useful idiot governor Kathy Hochul just signed a bill to allow "non-binary" blah blah blah to put an X on their driver's license. When this obvious nonsense is encrypted into law we've got a very, very, very serious problem. It's poisoned the medical industry: What is your gender? is asked, instead of What is your sex? I respond: I DO NOT HAVE A GENDER. My SEX is female. I suggest organizing a protest. People need to get out on the streets and make a VISUAL IMPACT against this gas lighting nonsense.
I always cross out questions about my "gender," even on non-medical forms. Gender is BS. Sex is real.
Thank you for this. It supports us in our need to be honest and upright with our kids. I told mine that I cannot use those pronouns, because it is a violation of my rights as a free citizen to accept reality and science. My daughter isn't happy with me and shuts down conversations with excuses about her school work, but that doesn't stop her going out with friends (who affirm, confirm and support, rather than question and wonder.... they lay along)...
But I told her, it's about free will. And SO I can quote Martin Luther, replacing "Scriptures" by Science:
"Since your most serene majesty and your lordships require of me a simple, clear and direct answer, I will give one, and it is this: Unless I am convinced by the testimony of the Scriptures and by clear reason (for I do not trust in the pope or councils alone, since it is well known that they have often erred and contradicted themselves), I am bound by the Scriptures I have quoted. My conscience is captive to the Word of God. I cannot and I will not retract anything, since it is neither safe nor right to go against conscience. Here I stand. I cannot do otherwise."
When all respect is lost, then we are free.
I think it means alot deep down when parents do not affirm.
Thank you for this essay and for speaking up. As a mom of a trans identifying teen in Canada I AM terrified to speak up and I'm immensely grateful for you and for anyone who has the courage to speak up. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I honestly don't think you'll be met with hostility if you're just honest with people. I think you should try to speak to other parents who may know a little bit about what your family is going through.
One of the easiest and most popular tools abusers have is to isolate their victims from one another. Bad bosses and co-workers do this. Cults do this to their victims/marks. I think we parents need to understand that we're being subjected to abuse by our children, who are themselves being abused and are passing along their cult rules to abuse us. Fighting isolation is the first step--and only you can take it. Choose your confidantes carefully, and as you find support and understanding, your confidence will grow.
It is not about hostility. It is that in Canada speaking up is a human rights violation and hate speech. My children can be taken away from me if it is knows that we are not affirming, and I obviously can't risk this. But thank you for your condesending (sorry, supportive) pep talk.
There was nothing condescending about her kind comment.
She is implying that I'm perpetuating the abuse cycle by not speaking up. You know who is perpetuating the abuse cycle? The author of this post. And yet I'm grateful that she can speak up, at least privately, if not publicly. But maybe it is her who needs to be told, kindly, that she shouldn't be afraid to be cancelled.
Everything she said was correct. (The "condescending" poster) You not being able to use the advice doesn't make it untrue or not good advice. It is just not good for you.
I posted about my situation being such that speaking up can lead to my children being taken away by the children's aid. She kindly "educates" me on how to grow my confidence. She equates a parent in my situation to a victim of abuse who needs to break the cycle and speak up. If this is not condescending, I don't know what is. I will speak up when my children are adults and can't be removed from me. I will never jeaopardize my children's safety. That was not a kind comment. That was a "try harder, honey," comment and frankly, I'm done with those.
You didn't say that your kids would be taken away until after her comment. She was nothing but nice and gave what would be good advice to most ppl in your situation, as ppl do on this site. Help. Share advice. Etc. It not being advice that is best for you doesn't make it condescending. Seems like you're making it what it isn't.
Good Candace Mercer review:
"What Is A Woman? Review of a Cultural Turning Point
The most important documentary of the year breaks the spell and is a reckoning for gender ideology," https://candacemercer.substack.com/p/what-is-a-woman-review-of-a-cultural?s=r
Intro:
"TRIGGER WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILERS
I am a progressive activist who has supported LGBT causes, rights and liberation my entire life. The modern iteration of transgender social contagion has caused me to revise my views due to the medical mutilation and disabling of healthy children. My commitment to second and third wave feminism is also quite offended by the stereotyping of women and young autistic women wanting to opt out of their sex.
I am repelled by the erasure of gays and lesbians from the rainbow coalition who shame them for their “genital preferences” and call them “transphobic” for not wanting to sleep with the opposite sex. It’s the “cotton ceiling” or the “boxer ceiling,” depending on whether lesbian and gay men are targeted. There are workshops for gay men to get over their aversion to vaginas.
I am not OK with being a nonconsensual NPC in older men’s autogynephilia for whom youth transition gives cover, the ultimate beard. When we ratify their illusion of womenhood, they get “gender euphoria” which is code for boners. I am not OK with children performing sexually suggestive dances in kid’s drag shows. Which also gives certain people boners. I am also not OK with the boners men get when they attempt to “chestfeed” infants, who become another prop in their urge to quell “dysphoria.”
Gender Ideology destroys lives. I recently advanced that bold statement and laid out the reasons why in this essay. It is an overview of the industry and its effects. I talk about what they do not want you to know. So does Matt Walsh’s new documentary What Is A Woman?"
I think Mercer nails it with:
"The term “groomer” is being disparaged as it relates to the injection of gender ideology in schools, but there is no other word for it. Children are being primed to question their gender, to find their true selves rather than learning to love themselves as they are.
Grooming: the deliberate act of bringing a child into a sexual, political, or racial ideology, practice, cult, or lifestyle without the knowledge or consent of his or her parents for the aim of isolating them from their family so the external party can abuse and manipulate them."
This is key: " bringing a child into a sexual, political, or racial ideology, practice, cult, or lifestyle without the knowledge or consent of his or her parents".
The fallacious notion is that GROOMING is sexual. That is not the case. Sexual is a part. But the essential aspect is "titillation" - giving a child knowledge which perverts or damages their innocence. This is why that guy was fired for reading "I need a new butt" to 2nd graders. To adults, this sounds like silliness. But to a 2nd grader, this is turning body parts and the various aspects of them into a premature piece of information. I was not sad to see his firing.
It is key - agreed. This is why so many of us parents describe GI as a cult. You could call it a lifestyle or whatever - the kid is isolated from family mentally even while eating at the dinner table after school.
First, good essay.
Second, I hear this alot "I think xxx about gender identity/transgender issues AND I'm a liberal/liberal academic!!" Are the two perspectives incongruent? ... or is this a defense of "my view has credibility bc I'm not a right-wing conservative bigot"?
Why is that preface needed? Can only liberals love their children, support them, and also want to protect them from harm?
Maybe because this "movement" started with you? Not you personally... but with liberals/academics. If this would have been identified correctly from the beginning as a manifestation of mental illness and not a brave new civil rights issue, we wouldn't currently have to be stealthy and anonymous when communicating about it or risk losing our friends or jobs. That ship has sailed though unfortunately.
This never should have come as far as it has, but the ideology was nurtured and promoted through liberal academia, media, and politics, and of course all those who profit. Now we all are affected, including me and my family.
It definitely HAS to be liberals and liberal academics predominantly who do the work to stop the monster they created. And it needs to be loud, constant, and transparent - hiding the truth (i.e. reality) and being too cowardly to speak up is what gave this ideology the room to grow. Liberals have to lead the way, no one else can bc OF COURSE anyone not a liberal is racist, homophobic, misogynistic, etc. and are de facto unbelievable and transphobic (whatever that means).
Every person who opposes the trans ideology is demonized... where have I seen that tactic deployed before?
I swear I was thinking this same thing. Add the ppl who do "gender studies" too.
I am honestly embarrassed for my former tribe. I'm politically homeless now.
But you're right, Ciaoshannon--academia needs to step up and start cleaning up this mess. Having just watched Matt Walsh's "What is a Woman" mockumentary, all I can say is C R I N G E. I'm sure he stacked the deck with the especially stupid academics who couldn't be bothered to google him, but sheesh: what a bunch of idiots.
My strategy is to just state the truth: people can have whatever personalities, interests, clothing, grooming, etc. they prefer, but sex is real and binary, and it is authoritarian to expect others to lie. I think I've got enough allies to protect me in the event my views are deemed controversial, or hateful. But I'll keep talking, and keep urging parents of younger kids to remain vigilant with their babies.
I am fortunate to be in an empirical discipline--one that has evidence, facts as far as we can verify them, etc. I'm comfortable with being a truth-seeker.
I tend to think it must be the majority of academics who have drunk the Kool-Aid or at least see nothing wrong with it - or we would not be in this mess... One wonders who hires these people? And, keeps them employed? These were some pretty respected institutions. The idiots are running the show.
U.S. Academia (where I work now) is a very diverse experience--remember that we encompass everything from massive city-states like Ohio State or Penn State or UT Austin, tiny sectarian colleges, and small liberal arts colleges, in addition to the name-brand elite private institutions and marquee public institutions. It's also full of people who teach business and engineering, not English, comp lit, Sociology, and queer studies, but most of the outrage attention economy is focused on the latter disciplines at a few elite schools, rather than the majority of us schlubs who teach at comprehensive unis or small schools you've probably never heard of.
There's a massive epidemic of preference falsification happening right now on this issue. We in academia--ESPECIALLY those of us with tenure!--must find the courage to engage this issue honestly and without fear or favor. Those of us with doubts and questions must express them. We can't be angry about this situation if we refuse to talk to anyone about it.
I agree that it is most prevalent in certain disciplines at the more "elite" schools. Although, those schools are all in for paying for hormones and surgeries regardless of what a student's major is. Parents get bad surprises at Christmas. If it is true that the majority of academics elsewhere disagree with the madness, think that sex is binary and that people like WiLiaM Thomas and Marc/Marci Bowers are men - but are silent - they are silently complicit in the manner of people who did not believe in the "final solution" for Jews in Germany during the 1930s and 1940s. So, thank you for saying that "doubts" must be expressed.
I'm watching it right now. The psychiatrist Grossman is a very sensible woman. The rest of those who were interviewed are nincompoops, to use a technical term. You call it a "mockumentary". I really think that's incorrect - he gets people to tell their version. It's pretty clear that he uses deception to get the interviews - there is the "ambush interview" component. But he gets them to say their version of reality. It's clear that many of these people are deeply confused, and it is a terrible thing that these confused butchers are actually treating children.
Grossman was excellent, so was that one therapist who said kids are getting affirmed as meowing cats because it's a queer identity, and so was Jordan Peterson.
Yes. you are correct Ciao. As a person known to be 'traditional' my voice is automatically suspect because people like me don't actually think, we get everything spoon-fed from the patriarchy. I open my mouth and the eyeballs roll.
All true. Thank you for saying this. I'm grateful for the liberals who speak up for the reasons you mention, but I'm still amazed how many liberals can identify (correctly) what's wrong with the trans ideology, but are still completely blind to the equivalent issues with the CRT, for example.
👏🏻👏🏻
There are a lot of ideas that might be productive in graduate seminars and in specialized research that can't or don't translate readily to the real world. CRT was a very provocative and productive idea 30+ years ago in legal scholarship, but in the grossly simplified way it has filtered down into K-12 schools, it seems foolish and counterproductive.
And dangerous.
The issue is that "liberals" sound like "libertarians" or "licensious persons". Being a liberal used to mean "being open to new thinking". Increasingly, to be a liberal means that you must open your mind enough that your brain falls upon the pavement.
Glad to hear you have your daughter back from the brink.
Also glad to see other science professionals share my experience - privately, colleagues are trans-skeptical and resent the pronoun police, but are afraid to speak out. In public, they wear pride pins and talk about 'pregnant people'. It's madness.
I just will never understand how cowardly cowards can be. I can maybe understand just not saying anything on the subject, but to openly support it while inwardly being against it is cowardice and ridiculousness to the extreme.
Yes, and this is exactly what does a number on the kids & young people. They are gas-lit. All of the authorities except for their parents appear to endorse the cult.
Also, that "pregnant people" BS: every woman I've discussed this with finds this totally repulsive and offensive. Any woman who's pregnant and yet not reconciled to her female nature has bigger problems than the nouns medical staff use with her.
I am an anti-feminist (not the sentiment so much, but the ideology) , but being absolutely erased by this new ideology infuriates me to no end. Pregnant ppl, chest feeders, etc are asinine terms.
We should not cooperate with the delusion. I watched "What is a Woman"?. Very good.
That's hypocrisy, and I don't do that. I don't have pronouns in my email, I've never put them on a nametag, and I won't announce them in meetings before I speak. I don't think it's right to perform the public rituals and then denounce them--that seems especially cowardly to me, but then I'm in a professional place where no one can make me do anything.
No wonder the kids are gas-lit.
There’s an enormous amount of secondary gain for the parents of children who are transgender. Imagine, if the diagnosis were true (rare), would you call Barbra Walter’s, have a reality show, and march with your child in a sexualized pride parade? Hardly.Hopefully you would treat your child with TLC like any other ( I dare say) mental illness and keep it a private issue. This may start from the child being exposed on the internet but it’s perpetuated by parental ignorance and misguided love and often times a bizarre variation of munchausen by proxy.
Yes, the diagnosis of "gender dysphoria" as a medical condition.
It's narc heaven: everyone tells you how stunning and brave your whole GLITTER family is!
And everyone else is wrapped up in a bubble of pluralistic ignorance, avoiding eye contact with the children who are medicalized and mutilated before they hold hands with someone or have their first kiss.
yes! I joined a FB page for called something like "Transgender questions" and it's unbelievable. The parents are SO EXCITED to get their kids on T, or on blockers, and are going out of their way to present them with special Pride blue/pink cookies and whatnot. Many seem to be stay at home parents who have turned this into a new hobby.
Omg so insane. I don’t think most people are thinking critically about any of this.
Keep up with the Jones.
Sorry, “what is a woman” on Daily wire app
Also at https://odysee.com/@NotTheBoilingFrog:f/What-Is-A-Woman-2022-Fixed:4
For therapists looking for NON-AFFIRMATION APPROACHES, other therapists recommend:
https://genderexploratory.com/
genderexploratory.com
Gender Exploratory Therapy Association
Any comments for the author, please email Pitt@genspect.org
Yes yes and yes! We need those who are not going through this with their children but understand what is happening to speak up. Please be a voice for those of us who are too afraid to talk because we don’t want to cause any more damage to the relationship we have with our children.