My beautiful son, (early 20's), joined the cult last year. No discussion, no counselling. We had a couple of sporadic meetings with him since he moved out at the beginning of the year, but I cannot see him in his woman costume. It is akin to watching the train wreck. He says seeing us is also depressing and he can not do in person meetings. Our lack of affirmation has caused him to rant on his social media that we are cancelled, monsters, villains. He mocks us, as do those of his new "found family". The shallowness of his relationships with these people show. They squabble amongst themselves & discuss topics that keep them isolated form reality. This child of mine. How did he get to this place. How long can he live his life online before he has to step into the real world and make an account for the choices he has made, and right all those he has wronged.
The deep grief has led to me to low places and some day I'm not sure I will ever climb out of this mirk. Does peace ever come? or do we continue on like zombies, day in, day out. I know it is still early in the journey for us, perhaps that is why the grief is so intense. But I do hope to one day laugh spontaneously and think again of beautiful things. For now though, I am angry. I fight on twitter because I'm angry. That makes me exhausted too. I want peace. I crave peace. I want to wake up and not thinking about the gender cult that has gripped our children while the world sleeps. From a mum who misses her son.
Your article spoke to me entirely.. it’s like you’re reading my mind and I share all of these emotions, fears & heartbreak. My 19 year old trans son has ‘cancelled’ us from his life along with his 2 half siblings ( 1 of whom is a doctor 12 years his senior) who are financially supporting him through a very fast medical transition. They’ve all lied and demonised us, blocked us from contact just for expressing our concern. I’m bereft. This time last year we still had our beautiful daughter .. she left home for Uni with the intention of transitioning without telling us. Now his bedroom sits empty and we’ve no idea if we’ll ever be reconciled. No conversations have ever been allowed. We have worked so hard in coming to terms with & supporting him but realise now we only had to suggest some slight doubt/concern to be cast out as transphobes. From believing him and supporting him, I now believe he is in the clutches of something truly evil. What can we do? I share your pain 🖤
I share your pain and your experience at seeing my daughter's former friends. I asked God every day WHY? The only thing I have in my head is the mantra of Mark 9:29. Only prayer can drive the demon out. Only prayer and nothing else. But there are days when I feel my faith slipping away and it's all I can do to hold on to it.
If words could heal, these are some that will do it. You have described my experience so well. I too watch my children’s former friends. I go to their weddings, their baby showers. I celebrate the happy moments that I will most likely never experience for myself. I avoid people that care but will never truly understand. How sacred is that space, the place where parents who have lived this gather, see ourselves in each other’s eyes, and say, I’m here. I will walk this with you.
Oh dear Mama. What a vulnerable, honest post. I so resonate with your sentiment. I too share your faith and pain in my church/ friendships. Thank you for sharing. ❤️🙏🏻
Feeling the very same sadness you have expressed.
My beautiful son, (early 20's), joined the cult last year. No discussion, no counselling. We had a couple of sporadic meetings with him since he moved out at the beginning of the year, but I cannot see him in his woman costume. It is akin to watching the train wreck. He says seeing us is also depressing and he can not do in person meetings. Our lack of affirmation has caused him to rant on his social media that we are cancelled, monsters, villains. He mocks us, as do those of his new "found family". The shallowness of his relationships with these people show. They squabble amongst themselves & discuss topics that keep them isolated form reality. This child of mine. How did he get to this place. How long can he live his life online before he has to step into the real world and make an account for the choices he has made, and right all those he has wronged.
The deep grief has led to me to low places and some day I'm not sure I will ever climb out of this mirk. Does peace ever come? or do we continue on like zombies, day in, day out. I know it is still early in the journey for us, perhaps that is why the grief is so intense. But I do hope to one day laugh spontaneously and think again of beautiful things. For now though, I am angry. I fight on twitter because I'm angry. That makes me exhausted too. I want peace. I crave peace. I want to wake up and not thinking about the gender cult that has gripped our children while the world sleeps. From a mum who misses her son.
Absolutely beautiful. Thank you from another mom with a broken heart
Your article spoke to me entirely.. it’s like you’re reading my mind and I share all of these emotions, fears & heartbreak. My 19 year old trans son has ‘cancelled’ us from his life along with his 2 half siblings ( 1 of whom is a doctor 12 years his senior) who are financially supporting him through a very fast medical transition. They’ve all lied and demonised us, blocked us from contact just for expressing our concern. I’m bereft. This time last year we still had our beautiful daughter .. she left home for Uni with the intention of transitioning without telling us. Now his bedroom sits empty and we’ve no idea if we’ll ever be reconciled. No conversations have ever been allowed. We have worked so hard in coming to terms with & supporting him but realise now we only had to suggest some slight doubt/concern to be cast out as transphobes. From believing him and supporting him, I now believe he is in the clutches of something truly evil. What can we do? I share your pain 🖤
I share your pain and your experience at seeing my daughter's former friends. I asked God every day WHY? The only thing I have in my head is the mantra of Mark 9:29. Only prayer can drive the demon out. Only prayer and nothing else. But there are days when I feel my faith slipping away and it's all I can do to hold on to it.
If words could heal, these are some that will do it. You have described my experience so well. I too watch my children’s former friends. I go to their weddings, their baby showers. I celebrate the happy moments that I will most likely never experience for myself. I avoid people that care but will never truly understand. How sacred is that space, the place where parents who have lived this gather, see ourselves in each other’s eyes, and say, I’m here. I will walk this with you.
Oh dear Mama. What a vulnerable, honest post. I so resonate with your sentiment. I too share your faith and pain in my church/ friendships. Thank you for sharing. ❤️🙏🏻