Beautiful specially the last sentence "the unique pain we carry". It is unique! Normal and sensible parents that know by now the harm and that transition is not the solution, and that by now also know that is a war against changing societal new patterns. They are also parents that support this and some that pushed their child to do it or considerate it. In some way those parents are the worst and their children don't have a place to come back if they regret their decisions later on. Suffering is a condition of human existence we don't need add up more to it but some people insist. The problem with "trans suffering" is that is too extreme, it is worst than do drugs or become a punk because medicine to transform the hormones map of a person who is not fully grown yet it is very dangerous, let's don't mention surgeries and people who push for them as Ellen page aka Elliot Page in her Vogue cover, I hope that cover made people react negatively instead of the opposite. That photo was traumatic to me!! The problem with this society is that people follow influencers and celebrities that push for the trans sect making their children trans as Jamie Lee Curtis, Naomi Watts or Charline Theron that should be in jail because she adopted a boy and is abusing him dressing him as a girl because "he asked her", parents don't do what their children asked them, they don't know nothing, they don't have the maturity to decide something like that and where a boy will get the idea that be a girl is better? Children don't think in those terms they just play games, as we all did. But people look up at these "celebrities" sadly.
Thank you for this piece. It is indeed so important to find others who can appreciate our pain. The "Beyond Trans family support" groups have been very helpful for me.
It is an indescribable pain that never goes away. My daughter started this trans ideology when she was 12. She is about to be 17. I fear what adulthood will bring. My prayers for all who are suffering.
I hear you loud and clear sister. My daughter started at 13 and it is almost 19. She is transfigured, unrecognizable from the outside, but sometimes, in a genuine laugh or a sincere smile, I still see her. I know I operate on the miracle realm now, but I will not loose hope, not just yet.
I have a daughter who is trans and it's awful. We don't see eachother anymore and my heart is shattered. She is 23 and I pray everyday that she will open her heart and let God in so she will be able to love herself as HE made her, not to pretend to be a man and grow a beard and look utterly ridiculous....It's so awful this whole gender ideology nightmare.....I remain hopeful for the day we can be a family again...
Yes it means the world to have it acknowledged even though it opens up the huge hole in our hearts. To feel this strongly is what makes me so sure this is wrong & dangerous, I really can’t fathom those that go along with it, not that I try too hard. It’s all too emotionally exhausting
I am so so sorry. Certainly her body mutilation played a part in her death, but sadly this won't be known by those who really need to hear it. Perhaps sharing your story may somehow help those who are considering altering their bodies in ways it was not designed for. As for your sons, I think forgiveness will free you from the pai of their eulogies. My 22 yr old daughter would have done the same thing. Her brain is not completely matured. She would not have full understood, not the way she will down the road of life when she has her own children. And this will also be something that they will contemplate. You will never know, but perhaps she knew in her private mind, that her infections were a part of what she had done. I always have to take comfort in knowing that God is a good God, even when the tragedies of life happen around us. Please feel the virtual hug of a stranger, but a sister in this life we are navigating. My daughter was not captured by this particular social contagion, but we had many problems for years due to internet social contagions. There but for the grace of God we all take one step at a time.
I’ve experienced this too—the lack of BS is so refreshing. A form of compassion in and of itself. The willingness to call things as they are: bilateral mastectomy, instead of the more pretty euphemism “top surgery,” etc.
It is a difficult path to walk. Lonely and isolating. Little by little, more people are gaining understanding. It is incrementally, and painfully slow.
I find your words very moving. When someone has the sensitivity and empathy and clarity to see another's pain, and the grace to speak of it: that is a true act of love that offers comfort. That our family members are taken in by a harmful ideology is painful in and of itself; that people speaking about it is suppressed intensifies the pain. The refusal to acknowledge abuse magnifies the trauma.
Very difficult situation. I've had the situation of being among dozens of students who transition, but I can't imagine the pain if it were one of my own children.
My story is much the same as yours - a son who is clever, socially awkward and whose thinking is black and white. And it's almost four years - but I haven't seen or heard from him in all that time. I have never been unable to tell people. Mostly I have been met with understanding - a few people may think I'm not being 'kind' because I believe in biology. I have gone through the pain but I am now able to look at pictures of my son as a little boy and remember the happy times. I hope one day to see him again because I love him and always will.
"I know this really means it’s too painful for them to hear. I never bring it up, although it is all I want to talk about." I feel that the consensual choice to not bring it up is a mistake, and allows for the nightmare to silently spread and claim more victims. I'm not blaming you in any way, you have my complete sympathy and I hope and pray that your son sees the light and desists. Your mother's cousin broke the wall of silence and consoled you. I just think that everyone - everyone - needs to know exactly what has been happening behind the backs of loving parents, who is responsible, and what a crime it all is.
Agreed. I often take the opportunity when it comes up with people I barely know. Doing my part to help people understand the harm.
But I also tend to stay silent with family and friends because I feel like it makes them uncomfortable and they just want me to get over it; accept that my daughter is an adult and there’s nothing I can do so move on. It’s isolating.
When an old friend came to me and acknowledged my pain last year I broke down, it was so comforting.
Agreed! I really want therapist, especially those that work with "gender confused" individuals to understand that no decision is made in a vacuum. The decision for a person to transition impacts more than that person. It impacts parents, siblings, grandparents. If therapist truly have empathy and compassion for people, they will look at the whole picture. I do share that my son transitioned. I do express my pain and sorrow that I have lost my child , because I HAVE LOST MY CHILD AND SOMEONE ELSE IS THERE IN HIS PLACE and I'm supposed to be ok with that? Obviously, I'm not. I'm just guessing but I bet the cousin has experienced some sort of sorrow and could comprehend the pain the author felt. It runs deep.
Yes. Love and mercy does wonders for a soul. When someone else recognizes our pain and extends compassion, in word or touch, it changes us. It allows us to release some of our pain. May God bless you and keep you close to His Sacred Heart.💔❤️
Beautiful specially the last sentence "the unique pain we carry". It is unique! Normal and sensible parents that know by now the harm and that transition is not the solution, and that by now also know that is a war against changing societal new patterns. They are also parents that support this and some that pushed their child to do it or considerate it. In some way those parents are the worst and their children don't have a place to come back if they regret their decisions later on. Suffering is a condition of human existence we don't need add up more to it but some people insist. The problem with "trans suffering" is that is too extreme, it is worst than do drugs or become a punk because medicine to transform the hormones map of a person who is not fully grown yet it is very dangerous, let's don't mention surgeries and people who push for them as Ellen page aka Elliot Page in her Vogue cover, I hope that cover made people react negatively instead of the opposite. That photo was traumatic to me!! The problem with this society is that people follow influencers and celebrities that push for the trans sect making their children trans as Jamie Lee Curtis, Naomi Watts or Charline Theron that should be in jail because she adopted a boy and is abusing him dressing him as a girl because "he asked her", parents don't do what their children asked them, they don't know nothing, they don't have the maturity to decide something like that and where a boy will get the idea that be a girl is better? Children don't think in those terms they just play games, as we all did. But people look up at these "celebrities" sadly.
Thank you for this piece. It is indeed so important to find others who can appreciate our pain. The "Beyond Trans family support" groups have been very helpful for me.
It is an indescribable pain that never goes away. My daughter started this trans ideology when she was 12. She is about to be 17. I fear what adulthood will bring. My prayers for all who are suffering.
I hear you loud and clear sister. My daughter started at 13 and it is almost 19. She is transfigured, unrecognizable from the outside, but sometimes, in a genuine laugh or a sincere smile, I still see her. I know I operate on the miracle realm now, but I will not loose hope, not just yet.
Keep praying and believing.
This was so beautiful. Finally someone saw that it’s truly something where “I’m so sorry” really applies.
Our story is very similar. A silent grief we carry.
I have a daughter who is trans and it's awful. We don't see eachother anymore and my heart is shattered. She is 23 and I pray everyday that she will open her heart and let God in so she will be able to love herself as HE made her, not to pretend to be a man and grow a beard and look utterly ridiculous....It's so awful this whole gender ideology nightmare.....I remain hopeful for the day we can be a family again...
Yes it means the world to have it acknowledged even though it opens up the huge hole in our hearts. To feel this strongly is what makes me so sure this is wrong & dangerous, I really can’t fathom those that go along with it, not that I try too hard. It’s all too emotionally exhausting
I am so so sorry. Certainly her body mutilation played a part in her death, but sadly this won't be known by those who really need to hear it. Perhaps sharing your story may somehow help those who are considering altering their bodies in ways it was not designed for. As for your sons, I think forgiveness will free you from the pai of their eulogies. My 22 yr old daughter would have done the same thing. Her brain is not completely matured. She would not have full understood, not the way she will down the road of life when she has her own children. And this will also be something that they will contemplate. You will never know, but perhaps she knew in her private mind, that her infections were a part of what she had done. I always have to take comfort in knowing that God is a good God, even when the tragedies of life happen around us. Please feel the virtual hug of a stranger, but a sister in this life we are navigating. My daughter was not captured by this particular social contagion, but we had many problems for years due to internet social contagions. There but for the grace of God we all take one step at a time.
I’ve experienced this too—the lack of BS is so refreshing. A form of compassion in and of itself. The willingness to call things as they are: bilateral mastectomy, instead of the more pretty euphemism “top surgery,” etc.
How about "unnecessary double breast amputation." The euphemisms for the horror disgust me.
Nope there’s a very respectable CPT code for breast reduction. Pure system abuse if you ask me.
It is a difficult path to walk. Lonely and isolating. Little by little, more people are gaining understanding. It is incrementally, and painfully slow.
I find your words very moving. When someone has the sensitivity and empathy and clarity to see another's pain, and the grace to speak of it: that is a true act of love that offers comfort. That our family members are taken in by a harmful ideology is painful in and of itself; that people speaking about it is suppressed intensifies the pain. The refusal to acknowledge abuse magnifies the trauma.
It does indeed, it truly compounds the loss.
Very difficult situation. I've had the situation of being among dozens of students who transition, but I can't imagine the pain if it were one of my own children.
My story is much the same as yours - a son who is clever, socially awkward and whose thinking is black and white. And it's almost four years - but I haven't seen or heard from him in all that time. I have never been unable to tell people. Mostly I have been met with understanding - a few people may think I'm not being 'kind' because I believe in biology. I have gone through the pain but I am now able to look at pictures of my son as a little boy and remember the happy times. I hope one day to see him again because I love him and always will.
"I know this really means it’s too painful for them to hear. I never bring it up, although it is all I want to talk about." I feel that the consensual choice to not bring it up is a mistake, and allows for the nightmare to silently spread and claim more victims. I'm not blaming you in any way, you have my complete sympathy and I hope and pray that your son sees the light and desists. Your mother's cousin broke the wall of silence and consoled you. I just think that everyone - everyone - needs to know exactly what has been happening behind the backs of loving parents, who is responsible, and what a crime it all is.
Agreed. I often take the opportunity when it comes up with people I barely know. Doing my part to help people understand the harm.
But I also tend to stay silent with family and friends because I feel like it makes them uncomfortable and they just want me to get over it; accept that my daughter is an adult and there’s nothing I can do so move on. It’s isolating.
When an old friend came to me and acknowledged my pain last year I broke down, it was so comforting.
Agreed! I really want therapist, especially those that work with "gender confused" individuals to understand that no decision is made in a vacuum. The decision for a person to transition impacts more than that person. It impacts parents, siblings, grandparents. If therapist truly have empathy and compassion for people, they will look at the whole picture. I do share that my son transitioned. I do express my pain and sorrow that I have lost my child , because I HAVE LOST MY CHILD AND SOMEONE ELSE IS THERE IN HIS PLACE and I'm supposed to be ok with that? Obviously, I'm not. I'm just guessing but I bet the cousin has experienced some sort of sorrow and could comprehend the pain the author felt. It runs deep.
The therapy I have had about my trans son was only to take care of my mental health.
I love this post.
Yes. Love and mercy does wonders for a soul. When someone else recognizes our pain and extends compassion, in word or touch, it changes us. It allows us to release some of our pain. May God bless you and keep you close to His Sacred Heart.💔❤️