The most beautiful expressions of love from friends have been from those who cried for us and our son. I have a friend who cries when she talks about my son. My son and her son were best friends growing up. She feels our pain deeply.
Heart breaking. Feelings and tears flooded me as I read that. It's so painful to have a family shattered especially because NONE of us ever thought we would be in this place.
Thank you for sharing your story and writing so eloquently about the lonely, unbearable grief that we as parents whose children have been captured by this cult, endure on a daily basis while the world goes on. I too sometimes look back at the last 5 years of our life and all we have suffered with utter shock, feeling exhausted from it all. I function, but the light has gone out of me. The only thing I look forward to is for all the pending lawsuits to play out, and then maybe the world will wake up. But I also know that doesn’t mean I will get my son back. It just means I won’t have to grieve in silence...maybe
thank you for the courage to share this. I can relate in so many levels, and could not hold on my own flood of tears when I reached "i am so sorry" part . Yes, I can read it in people's eyes, I can see. in their body language shifting ever so slightly when the subject is my trans daughter. I can 'feel' the "I am so sorry" in every small movement, but I have not heard it yet, and I think it will be healing when I do. I am now curious to imagine who in my family or inner circle will breach protocol, and actually have the courage to simply say it :"I am sorry". My journey into this nightmare is now on its 5th year or so, and there is not a single time in the sacred solitude of a shower that I dont feel my throat chocked and the tears -single or multiple,mix with the water. In the good days is one solitary tear, on others, it is a tempest. Your comparison with cancer is real - no one talks about it, but it is the closest to what it feels inside my body - being challenged into the self destructive reality I could neither foresee or control. And no,it is notmy daughters fault - she chose her freedom, wisely or otherwise, but it was/is always hers to choose. My grief is my own, much like a cancer - a self made inability to accept the unacceptable, to watch my beautiful daughter fade away in a multitude of drugs and false promises. But just like cancer, it is also up to me to decide if I will let it kill me or if I will find healing in unexpected places. Thats what your story was to me today - a small healing in an unexpected place. Takes immense courage to survive this storm,and even more so, to open up, let the wound bleed and write about it. Thank you.
Similar story but my daughter was 12 when she emailed out of the blue from the school that convinced and encouraged her to hate the most foundational aspect of herself.
When a GenX parent at a school reunion last summer told me his GenZ daughter was now his “son,” my immediate and visceral reaction was to come to tears, reach out for his hand, and say, “Oh my God, I’m so, so sorry this is happening to you and your family.” He looked caught out, he said “Oh no, it’s fine. He’s doing great, he’s really happy.”
No, I wanted to say, it’s NOT “great,” it’s not relevant if a young woman is “happy” poisoning her body with large doses of synthetic testosterone, and elects to amputate her healthy breasts. It’s a self-harm tragedy, made more tragic by the educational, medical, political, psychological and entertainment industries’ complicity in pushing this diabolically destructive and destabilizing idea out into the world under the banner of “kindness and inclusion.”
It’s monstrous, it’s horrifying, and if you told me your daughter had brain cancer or was massively injured in a car wreck, I’d have the same emotional reaction. Truly, man, I’m sorry. This is a tragedy, and no amount of social scripting and happy rainbow flags can disguise the carnage.
… I wonder if he’s had anyone else react that way. His family lives in Africa in an ex-pat enclave, no doubt everyone there is consumed with celebrating this postmodernist claptrap.
I too am so sorry for everything you have gone through. Thank you for sharing this beautiful piece. I am not a parent, simply a witness to all of your stories. But after reading it, I was so moved that I sobbed as I imagined that moment of compassion, clarity and courage on your cousin's part, and the acceptance of her love on yours as you stood in that church basement. I know you don't want or need pity--and pity is not what happened. At times, we need others to witness our pain as simply the truth--the witness says: "I know you suffer, and I care. I step forward to share a tiny bit of your pain with you so you don't suffer alone." Truth is healing in that way, just the simple truth. ❤️
Your post puts words to the indescribable emotional pain after my son, too, slammed my husband and me five years ago with his gut-wrenching "trans" bomb during his freshman year of college. It helps to know I am not alone in yearning for more of the compassion that your mother's cousin offered. Losing a child in this cruel ambiguous way to a heinous mind virus is compounded by the collective madness, indifference, and opportunism around me about the horror that is destroying sons and daughters and families. What an excellent essay. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing your story, which is so similar to ours. We also have a few friends that know about our son but don’t even know how to ask, so don’t even try. Praying for all parents who just want to hear “I am just so sorry”
Identical story here too, rigidity of thinking, lack of interpersonal confidence, disdain for "sorority girls". Only difference was that instead of saying she was trans she said she was a lesbian, but this was 2002 and the labels were different then.
Oh, how you’ve touched the heart of the matter! One strange plus about living in a city where harm is being done is that we families are not alone. A place where only a few words need to be spoken and we all get it. I’m so glad this space provides that for so many as well. What a gift when someone puts into words what it feels like as you have.
You have said this so well. It is a gift to have a secondary person really see the pain and destruction this fantasy causes. It is even more meaningful to receive this acknowledgement while there is still a loud demand from the insatiable rainbow crowd, insisting that we join their enlightenment.
This dark fantasy of men becoming women and women becoming men just takes and takes. It just cannot end soon enough.
I'm so sorry. My husband and I are dealing with estrangement, but for different reasons. I can only imagine the pain of seeing a child reject the way God made him for an impossible desire that can never be fulfilled. Offering my rosary for all of you suffering parents today. May God give you comfort and the peace that passes understanding.
This shattered my heart in pieces
I feel for you
And I am sorry
The most beautiful expressions of love from friends have been from those who cried for us and our son. I have a friend who cries when she talks about my son. My son and her son were best friends growing up. She feels our pain deeply.
Heart breaking. Feelings and tears flooded me as I read that. It's so painful to have a family shattered especially because NONE of us ever thought we would be in this place.
Thank you for sharing your story and writing so eloquently about the lonely, unbearable grief that we as parents whose children have been captured by this cult, endure on a daily basis while the world goes on. I too sometimes look back at the last 5 years of our life and all we have suffered with utter shock, feeling exhausted from it all. I function, but the light has gone out of me. The only thing I look forward to is for all the pending lawsuits to play out, and then maybe the world will wake up. But I also know that doesn’t mean I will get my son back. It just means I won’t have to grieve in silence...maybe
thank you for the courage to share this. I can relate in so many levels, and could not hold on my own flood of tears when I reached "i am so sorry" part . Yes, I can read it in people's eyes, I can see. in their body language shifting ever so slightly when the subject is my trans daughter. I can 'feel' the "I am so sorry" in every small movement, but I have not heard it yet, and I think it will be healing when I do. I am now curious to imagine who in my family or inner circle will breach protocol, and actually have the courage to simply say it :"I am sorry". My journey into this nightmare is now on its 5th year or so, and there is not a single time in the sacred solitude of a shower that I dont feel my throat chocked and the tears -single or multiple,mix with the water. In the good days is one solitary tear, on others, it is a tempest. Your comparison with cancer is real - no one talks about it, but it is the closest to what it feels inside my body - being challenged into the self destructive reality I could neither foresee or control. And no,it is notmy daughters fault - she chose her freedom, wisely or otherwise, but it was/is always hers to choose. My grief is my own, much like a cancer - a self made inability to accept the unacceptable, to watch my beautiful daughter fade away in a multitude of drugs and false promises. But just like cancer, it is also up to me to decide if I will let it kill me or if I will find healing in unexpected places. Thats what your story was to me today - a small healing in an unexpected place. Takes immense courage to survive this storm,and even more so, to open up, let the wound bleed and write about it. Thank you.
Similar story but my daughter was 12 when she emailed out of the blue from the school that convinced and encouraged her to hate the most foundational aspect of herself.
Sending you hugs and love.
When a GenX parent at a school reunion last summer told me his GenZ daughter was now his “son,” my immediate and visceral reaction was to come to tears, reach out for his hand, and say, “Oh my God, I’m so, so sorry this is happening to you and your family.” He looked caught out, he said “Oh no, it’s fine. He’s doing great, he’s really happy.”
No, I wanted to say, it’s NOT “great,” it’s not relevant if a young woman is “happy” poisoning her body with large doses of synthetic testosterone, and elects to amputate her healthy breasts. It’s a self-harm tragedy, made more tragic by the educational, medical, political, psychological and entertainment industries’ complicity in pushing this diabolically destructive and destabilizing idea out into the world under the banner of “kindness and inclusion.”
It’s monstrous, it’s horrifying, and if you told me your daughter had brain cancer or was massively injured in a car wreck, I’d have the same emotional reaction. Truly, man, I’m sorry. This is a tragedy, and no amount of social scripting and happy rainbow flags can disguise the carnage.
… I wonder if he’s had anyone else react that way. His family lives in Africa in an ex-pat enclave, no doubt everyone there is consumed with celebrating this postmodernist claptrap.
I too am so sorry for everything you have gone through. Thank you for sharing this beautiful piece. I am not a parent, simply a witness to all of your stories. But after reading it, I was so moved that I sobbed as I imagined that moment of compassion, clarity and courage on your cousin's part, and the acceptance of her love on yours as you stood in that church basement. I know you don't want or need pity--and pity is not what happened. At times, we need others to witness our pain as simply the truth--the witness says: "I know you suffer, and I care. I step forward to share a tiny bit of your pain with you so you don't suffer alone." Truth is healing in that way, just the simple truth. ❤️
Your post puts words to the indescribable emotional pain after my son, too, slammed my husband and me five years ago with his gut-wrenching "trans" bomb during his freshman year of college. It helps to know I am not alone in yearning for more of the compassion that your mother's cousin offered. Losing a child in this cruel ambiguous way to a heinous mind virus is compounded by the collective madness, indifference, and opportunism around me about the horror that is destroying sons and daughters and families. What an excellent essay. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing your story, which is so similar to ours. We also have a few friends that know about our son but don’t even know how to ask, so don’t even try. Praying for all parents who just want to hear “I am just so sorry”
Identical story here too, rigidity of thinking, lack of interpersonal confidence, disdain for "sorority girls". Only difference was that instead of saying she was trans she said she was a lesbian, but this was 2002 and the labels were different then.
Oh, how you’ve touched the heart of the matter! One strange plus about living in a city where harm is being done is that we families are not alone. A place where only a few words need to be spoken and we all get it. I’m so glad this space provides that for so many as well. What a gift when someone puts into words what it feels like as you have.
You captured our desire for compassion and empathy that we deserve but don’t receive. This was cathartic to read. Thank you!
You have said this so well. It is a gift to have a secondary person really see the pain and destruction this fantasy causes. It is even more meaningful to receive this acknowledgement while there is still a loud demand from the insatiable rainbow crowd, insisting that we join their enlightenment.
This dark fantasy of men becoming women and women becoming men just takes and takes. It just cannot end soon enough.
I see you and I, too, am sorry.
I'm so sorry. My husband and I are dealing with estrangement, but for different reasons. I can only imagine the pain of seeing a child reject the way God made him for an impossible desire that can never be fulfilled. Offering my rosary for all of you suffering parents today. May God give you comfort and the peace that passes understanding.
🫂 virtual hugs.