Thank you so much for highlighting some of the possible unhealthy effects on siblings. I’ve been steadily shouting about them for months. In some families, sibling rivalry is played out within the dramatization of the child trans process. Please remember them.
I wish you had let your daughter learn her way more for herself instead of ignoring your other child to save someone who clearly chose rebellion as her highest form of flattery against the world, and you.
But that's past now, and your son deserves your attention even at the expense of your daughter. There are times to let go, and you're failure to focus on the one who actually loves you for who you are, not who you might pretend to be, will be your downfall if you don't wake up soon to your own myopia. Save one rather than have both of them drown.
Great words of wisdom. Trans cult decimates loving families- that's it's mission! It is pure evil and yet our president (USA) is all for it. When families are ripped apart, each individual becomes destabilized. We become weakened and maleable to new indoctrination, desperate for relief. Desperate for hope. The young ones suffer the most with so much pressure to conform to the Woke Agenda. They don't want to be bullied or considered "unkind". They at least feel the need to be an ally. That's a slippery slope, however, and often leads to them also turning "trans" or some variation of it. The best thing we can do, as parents, is work on keeping the family close knit with little outside influence. If church going, go to church, or synagogue, etc. Get away together. Unplug. Reinforce normalcy together whenever possible. This is so hard...my oldest daughter is also in the horrible position of being an older sibling, caught in the crossfire. We all suffer deeply.
Trans-a-non sounds fitting. I do use the things I have learned in Alanon to help me deal with the trans chains. Just the first step alone gives me relief: I admit I am powerless over (the spell my child is under, or the choices they are making) and I admit that our lives have become unmanageable. I pray for the courage to change the things I can, but I pray for peace to accept what I can’t change (which when dealing with a young adult offspring is a lot actually.) As you say Holly, seeing and reinforcing the good and learning to get a long with people we may not agree with is a worthwhile calling. All the best.
It's so mystifying how this monstrous cult has captured so many formerly rational individuals.The damage being done to niave and troubled young people is huge and truly heartbreaking ,and the DELIBERATE tactic aimed at destroying THE FAMILY is an evil so deep that its mind boggling !! My heart breaks for everyone caught up in this horror and i pray for you ALL. It's no coincidence that these people also support HAMAS !! That tells us a lot about the mindset of the people behind this sinister,dangerous movement. God Bless ,All x
Siblings in the shadows. . . what a moving and evocative description of a little recognised or understood problem which,, as a fortunate parent with five non-trans children, I can barely begin to grasp let alone appreciate. Our youngest daughter, now 17, came out as gay a few years back, which rather threw her staid old dad (I fathered her at 68, when her mother was in her thirties).
The more I read of the experiences of Pittparents, the more I realise how fortunate we have been that she resisted any pressure she may have been under from peers to have mistaken same-sex attraction for having been "born into the wrong body". This biologically absurd concept is so alien to me I am doubtful whether - had my lovely girl come out as trans instead - I would ever have been able to accept, let alone embrace, her version of reality - with all the pain which this would have undoubtedly generated for her, her adoring parents, elder sister and four older brothers.
Thank you, all Pittparent contributors, for so courageously sharing your often hearbreaking personal stories and spreading much-needed enlightenment on a complex and baffling phenomenon. I pray you are rewarded, as you deserve, by the eventual return of the "lost" loved one to the family fold.
This a war. You won’t win with hugs and kisses. Focus enormous energy on the adults who advocate this. They are every bit as evil as pedophiles. Expose them. Litigate against them. Rally your neighbors against them. The adult advocates of trans depravity are criminals who need long prison sentences and harsh conditions.
Very wise words of advice for families going through this. I cannot imagine if this had happened in my family before our two kids were adults. It would have been a million times harder, and that is unimaginable.
I will share this side. Son was 40 when he transitioned, his sister a couple years younger had supported him the last few years and really tried to understand. Recently, he has referred to himself as a mom, and apparently said other things to that effect to my daughter. She drew the line then and there. Said she used to think of trans as something they were born with, but now sees it as a total mental health issue. Of course she will not say that to him. But reality has set in.
But even as an adult, she has lost two friends who totally support him and no longer are friends because first she refused the covid vax, thank heavens, and second has had it with pronouns and the whole thing.
In my opinion, those of us who refuse to bow down to the cults of today, who question everything, and refuse to accept everything at face value because we were told to via the media, society and politicians, and maintain our own opinions, views, and morals, will be the ones to survive this crazy world.
Tell your children still living at home it is ok and good to take a stand, do not fall into the trap of this social contagion. There are more of us than there are of them.
Pray for all of those who are going through this, and for healing for all. (Or send good karma, good energy, whatever you believe in, it's all good).
I'm praying for the best outcome for your son in the long run.
The trans cult leaves casualties right and left. Nobody is safe when it rears its ugly head into a family's life.
Make sure to tell him everything you told us. And how much you love him and proudly admire how he managed his best despite all he went through. Let him know that you get him and that things are gonna be different now that your eyes have been open to his silent but crippling suffering. If you don't feel ready for what is most likely to be a long, draining and hurtful talk with a lot of emotional pus expected to come out, write a letter like the one you wrote us but more perso. And don't focus on sis but on his pain and his future (and yours) as a family.
What happened happened. There is nothing you can do about it. Today is where you start anew. Today has potential for a new beginning. Today can be the first day of a renewed relationship. Life will never be the same. You can't brush off suffering, especially when it's deep and has lasted a while, under the rug of our daily lives and cross your fingers it's gonna be ok. But life can be reinvented, when there is a will to overcome and forgive and stand by each other, anything is possible.
I'd love to hear, in a few months, how things are going for him and yourselves ( I know how things are going for sis since I walked that path before her and I hope she gets to wake up some day, hopefully sooner than later)
Lift up your eyes and keep up your hope. You are still a family and miracles happen everyday.
I couldn't bear to read this message. It rings so true of my family's situation. The sibling caught in the cross fire unfortunately also got recruited into the trans trap. Dealing with one trans influenced kid is hard enough, but two makes it gut wrenching.
Thank you for writing about siblings. My 24 year old adult daughter endures letting go of her close relationship with her deluded 22 year old brother, with whom she was very close growing up. She also contends with possible rejection from peers if they sniff out that she is a critical thinker who has not drunk the absurd "gender Kool-Aid. Another terrible loss for her is her close family imploding.
Extremely important. Thank you so much.
Thank you so much for highlighting some of the possible unhealthy effects on siblings. I’ve been steadily shouting about them for months. In some families, sibling rivalry is played out within the dramatization of the child trans process. Please remember them.
I wish you had let your daughter learn her way more for herself instead of ignoring your other child to save someone who clearly chose rebellion as her highest form of flattery against the world, and you.
But that's past now, and your son deserves your attention even at the expense of your daughter. There are times to let go, and you're failure to focus on the one who actually loves you for who you are, not who you might pretend to be, will be your downfall if you don't wake up soon to your own myopia. Save one rather than have both of them drown.
Great words of wisdom. Trans cult decimates loving families- that's it's mission! It is pure evil and yet our president (USA) is all for it. When families are ripped apart, each individual becomes destabilized. We become weakened and maleable to new indoctrination, desperate for relief. Desperate for hope. The young ones suffer the most with so much pressure to conform to the Woke Agenda. They don't want to be bullied or considered "unkind". They at least feel the need to be an ally. That's a slippery slope, however, and often leads to them also turning "trans" or some variation of it. The best thing we can do, as parents, is work on keeping the family close knit with little outside influence. If church going, go to church, or synagogue, etc. Get away together. Unplug. Reinforce normalcy together whenever possible. This is so hard...my oldest daughter is also in the horrible position of being an older sibling, caught in the crossfire. We all suffer deeply.
Save your son!
devastating and infuriating what this cult has done and continues to do
Trans-a-non sounds fitting. I do use the things I have learned in Alanon to help me deal with the trans chains. Just the first step alone gives me relief: I admit I am powerless over (the spell my child is under, or the choices they are making) and I admit that our lives have become unmanageable. I pray for the courage to change the things I can, but I pray for peace to accept what I can’t change (which when dealing with a young adult offspring is a lot actually.) As you say Holly, seeing and reinforcing the good and learning to get a long with people we may not agree with is a worthwhile calling. All the best.
It's so mystifying how this monstrous cult has captured so many formerly rational individuals.The damage being done to niave and troubled young people is huge and truly heartbreaking ,and the DELIBERATE tactic aimed at destroying THE FAMILY is an evil so deep that its mind boggling !! My heart breaks for everyone caught up in this horror and i pray for you ALL. It's no coincidence that these people also support HAMAS !! That tells us a lot about the mindset of the people behind this sinister,dangerous movement. God Bless ,All x
Thanks for this. I was that sibling and it was awful. My life was wrecked for a decade.
Siblings in the shadows. . . what a moving and evocative description of a little recognised or understood problem which,, as a fortunate parent with five non-trans children, I can barely begin to grasp let alone appreciate. Our youngest daughter, now 17, came out as gay a few years back, which rather threw her staid old dad (I fathered her at 68, when her mother was in her thirties).
The more I read of the experiences of Pittparents, the more I realise how fortunate we have been that she resisted any pressure she may have been under from peers to have mistaken same-sex attraction for having been "born into the wrong body". This biologically absurd concept is so alien to me I am doubtful whether - had my lovely girl come out as trans instead - I would ever have been able to accept, let alone embrace, her version of reality - with all the pain which this would have undoubtedly generated for her, her adoring parents, elder sister and four older brothers.
Thank you, all Pittparent contributors, for so courageously sharing your often hearbreaking personal stories and spreading much-needed enlightenment on a complex and baffling phenomenon. I pray you are rewarded, as you deserve, by the eventual return of the "lost" loved one to the family fold.
This a war. You won’t win with hugs and kisses. Focus enormous energy on the adults who advocate this. They are every bit as evil as pedophiles. Expose them. Litigate against them. Rally your neighbors against them. The adult advocates of trans depravity are criminals who need long prison sentences and harsh conditions.
Very wise words of advice for families going through this. I cannot imagine if this had happened in my family before our two kids were adults. It would have been a million times harder, and that is unimaginable.
I will share this side. Son was 40 when he transitioned, his sister a couple years younger had supported him the last few years and really tried to understand. Recently, he has referred to himself as a mom, and apparently said other things to that effect to my daughter. She drew the line then and there. Said she used to think of trans as something they were born with, but now sees it as a total mental health issue. Of course she will not say that to him. But reality has set in.
But even as an adult, she has lost two friends who totally support him and no longer are friends because first she refused the covid vax, thank heavens, and second has had it with pronouns and the whole thing.
In my opinion, those of us who refuse to bow down to the cults of today, who question everything, and refuse to accept everything at face value because we were told to via the media, society and politicians, and maintain our own opinions, views, and morals, will be the ones to survive this crazy world.
Tell your children still living at home it is ok and good to take a stand, do not fall into the trap of this social contagion. There are more of us than there are of them.
Pray for all of those who are going through this, and for healing for all. (Or send good karma, good energy, whatever you believe in, it's all good).
I'm praying for the best outcome for your son in the long run.
The trans cult leaves casualties right and left. Nobody is safe when it rears its ugly head into a family's life.
Make sure to tell him everything you told us. And how much you love him and proudly admire how he managed his best despite all he went through. Let him know that you get him and that things are gonna be different now that your eyes have been open to his silent but crippling suffering. If you don't feel ready for what is most likely to be a long, draining and hurtful talk with a lot of emotional pus expected to come out, write a letter like the one you wrote us but more perso. And don't focus on sis but on his pain and his future (and yours) as a family.
What happened happened. There is nothing you can do about it. Today is where you start anew. Today has potential for a new beginning. Today can be the first day of a renewed relationship. Life will never be the same. You can't brush off suffering, especially when it's deep and has lasted a while, under the rug of our daily lives and cross your fingers it's gonna be ok. But life can be reinvented, when there is a will to overcome and forgive and stand by each other, anything is possible.
I'd love to hear, in a few months, how things are going for him and yourselves ( I know how things are going for sis since I walked that path before her and I hope she gets to wake up some day, hopefully sooner than later)
Lift up your eyes and keep up your hope. You are still a family and miracles happen everyday.
Wow, powerful advice, than you for writing this!
I couldn't bear to read this message. It rings so true of my family's situation. The sibling caught in the cross fire unfortunately also got recruited into the trans trap. Dealing with one trans influenced kid is hard enough, but two makes it gut wrenching.
Thank you for writing about siblings. My 24 year old adult daughter endures letting go of her close relationship with her deluded 22 year old brother, with whom she was very close growing up. She also contends with possible rejection from peers if they sniff out that she is a critical thinker who has not drunk the absurd "gender Kool-Aid. Another terrible loss for her is her close family imploding.
Be there for your daughter and help her know she is making good choices.