I have also come to the conclusion that modern feminism (“modern” defined by mostly 3rd wave with some elements of certain brands of 2nd wave feminism) and my attempts to teach it to my daughter has resulted in a lot of harm. Let me add a few to your list:
- By openly and repeatedly denigrating things that are “too girly” (pink, princess…
I have also come to the conclusion that modern feminism (“modern” defined by mostly 3rd wave with some elements of certain brands of 2nd wave feminism) and my attempts to teach it to my daughter has resulted in a lot of harm. Let me add a few to your list:
- By openly and repeatedly denigrating things that are “too girly” (pink, princesses, unicorns and sparkle) I (and the rest of progressive society) created a lot of angst and confusion in my daughter because she liked those things. What was she to make of those feelings and personal preferences? She has explicitly told me she struggled with liking things that made her a “weak” girl. I wonder if this is why so many girls get drawn into the toxic anime, Lolita, and kawaii communities? Maybe it’s the only way they can enjoy cute and “girlie” things in a way that’s seen as “acceptable?”
- All the feminist claims that there were literally no strength or athletic differences between men and women have become the basis of the sports debate
- Girls too often heard the message that the way to show they were strong and not being oppressed was by having “male” jobs and behaving in “male” ways. The message was rarely to demand more respect for “female” jobs or behaviors. Consider the recent Netflix adaptation of Jane Austen’s “Persuasion.” The female protagonist’s personality and behaviors were completely changed from being introverted, introspective, reflective, moderate, and thoughtful to a loud, impulsive, neurotic, drinking, and outspoken feminist type because the original character was not modern or relatable. Of course there is nothing wrong with loud, outspoken women, but what are we telling girls when we reject any other way of being a woman?
- Drawing on Jonathan Haidt, so much of what society and I were teaching my daughter about feminism (and many other social issues around identity) were the exact opposite of the basics of good mental health practices taught in CBT (and I will also add DBT). Even Matt Yglesias just wrote about the trend of liberal teens having much worse mental health than moderate and conservative teens. I’m not saying that the only other option is to be a conservative or republican (I’m also not saying there’s anything wrong with those either) but I am saying that those whose politics and policy positions align with the left need to reconsider how they framing everything. Progress won’t happen when 1/2 your future base is hopeless and too depressed to do things.
I’m not anti-feminist. I don’t believe we’re in a world where misogyny and discrimination doesn’t happen. But I do believe there are better ways to frame it and address the problems.
Agree. My daughter was brought up amidst the pink & purple princess sparkles & unicorns era too, and she loved it. (I didn't mind, but my husband was worried she'd go to her high school graduation in her Belle or Sleeping Beauty princess dress.) The weird, strict sex segregation of boys' & girls' clothing and toys is something that has always troubled me, and now even moreso as children who pick up the "wrong sex" toy are being told they may be trans. It wasn't like that in the 1970s & 80s.
Very interesting article. Though the bit about the "superego" amuses me: science has simply rediscovered what we've understood for thousands of years and put a new name to it. The proper name here is "conscience," and it serves a very important purpose, the same vital purpose that pain serves.
No one enjoys pain. If you're working in the kitchen and you accidentally cut yourself with a knife, that sensation really sucks! But if you think about it, as bad as it is, isn't it far better than *not* having any pain, and so you don't notice the problem and end up cutting yourself a lot worse?
The guilt and shame inflicted by one's conscience are simply spiritual pain, existing for the same purpose: to tell you "something's wrong, you need to fix it quickly." It's vitally important for our development as human beings. The problem is that, just like physical pain, it can be exploited by malicious actors.
If someone holds you down and deliberately inflicts pain upon your body that you're not able to retreat from or treat, we call that "torture," and it's typically considered one of the greatest evils one human being can inflict upon another. And when the woke abuse the conscience, inflicting a never-ending, untreatable state of spiritual pain, it's no different. It is emotional torture, and those who inflict it should be treated as torturers.
"Torturers" seems a little over the top. . . but yes, Cluster-B personalities exploit the pleasure principle all humans adhere to. We're mere animals, seeking comfort in one another's company, fearful of being cast out of the pack.
I have also come to the conclusion that modern feminism (“modern” defined by mostly 3rd wave with some elements of certain brands of 2nd wave feminism) and my attempts to teach it to my daughter has resulted in a lot of harm. Let me add a few to your list:
- By openly and repeatedly denigrating things that are “too girly” (pink, princesses, unicorns and sparkle) I (and the rest of progressive society) created a lot of angst and confusion in my daughter because she liked those things. What was she to make of those feelings and personal preferences? She has explicitly told me she struggled with liking things that made her a “weak” girl. I wonder if this is why so many girls get drawn into the toxic anime, Lolita, and kawaii communities? Maybe it’s the only way they can enjoy cute and “girlie” things in a way that’s seen as “acceptable?”
- All the feminist claims that there were literally no strength or athletic differences between men and women have become the basis of the sports debate
- Girls too often heard the message that the way to show they were strong and not being oppressed was by having “male” jobs and behaving in “male” ways. The message was rarely to demand more respect for “female” jobs or behaviors. Consider the recent Netflix adaptation of Jane Austen’s “Persuasion.” The female protagonist’s personality and behaviors were completely changed from being introverted, introspective, reflective, moderate, and thoughtful to a loud, impulsive, neurotic, drinking, and outspoken feminist type because the original character was not modern or relatable. Of course there is nothing wrong with loud, outspoken women, but what are we telling girls when we reject any other way of being a woman?
- Drawing on Jonathan Haidt, so much of what society and I were teaching my daughter about feminism (and many other social issues around identity) were the exact opposite of the basics of good mental health practices taught in CBT (and I will also add DBT). Even Matt Yglesias just wrote about the trend of liberal teens having much worse mental health than moderate and conservative teens. I’m not saying that the only other option is to be a conservative or republican (I’m also not saying there’s anything wrong with those either) but I am saying that those whose politics and policy positions align with the left need to reconsider how they framing everything. Progress won’t happen when 1/2 your future base is hopeless and too depressed to do things.
I’m not anti-feminist. I don’t believe we’re in a world where misogyny and discrimination doesn’t happen. But I do believe there are better ways to frame it and address the problems.
👏🏻👏🏻
Agree. My daughter was brought up amidst the pink & purple princess sparkles & unicorns era too, and she loved it. (I didn't mind, but my husband was worried she'd go to her high school graduation in her Belle or Sleeping Beauty princess dress.) The weird, strict sex segregation of boys' & girls' clothing and toys is something that has always troubled me, and now even moreso as children who pick up the "wrong sex" toy are being told they may be trans. It wasn't like that in the 1970s & 80s.
See also Zizek's recent article on Wokeness and the psychological Super Ego cul-de-sac it puts everyone in: https://compactmag.com/article/wokeness-is-here-to-stay
Very interesting article. Though the bit about the "superego" amuses me: science has simply rediscovered what we've understood for thousands of years and put a new name to it. The proper name here is "conscience," and it serves a very important purpose, the same vital purpose that pain serves.
No one enjoys pain. If you're working in the kitchen and you accidentally cut yourself with a knife, that sensation really sucks! But if you think about it, as bad as it is, isn't it far better than *not* having any pain, and so you don't notice the problem and end up cutting yourself a lot worse?
The guilt and shame inflicted by one's conscience are simply spiritual pain, existing for the same purpose: to tell you "something's wrong, you need to fix it quickly." It's vitally important for our development as human beings. The problem is that, just like physical pain, it can be exploited by malicious actors.
If someone holds you down and deliberately inflicts pain upon your body that you're not able to retreat from or treat, we call that "torture," and it's typically considered one of the greatest evils one human being can inflict upon another. And when the woke abuse the conscience, inflicting a never-ending, untreatable state of spiritual pain, it's no different. It is emotional torture, and those who inflict it should be treated as torturers.
"Torturers" seems a little over the top. . . but yes, Cluster-B personalities exploit the pleasure principle all humans adhere to. We're mere animals, seeking comfort in one another's company, fearful of being cast out of the pack.