On this Thanksgiving, we would like to give thanks to our brave detransitioner friends.
Recently, Tullip Rose, a detransitioned man we’ve had the honor to speak with wrote:
Sorry, we can’t save your sons/daughter
No, we can’t save your kids.
Some ROGD parents can sometimes become overbearing to detransitioners, unintentionally bombarding them with requests, links, and calls to action. This is not the type of support that we’re looking for, though we appreciate the activism, it can be quite tiring.
I won’t claim to understand the urgency parents feel, but often our messages are flooded with parents asking or looking for that golden phrase as if it’s some spell that can be broken by uttering the right words.
Tullip - what you have done already is saving our sons and daughters—you, and Helena Kerschner, Sinéad Watson, Limpida, Chloe Cole, Cat Cattinson, Abel Garcia, Cut Down Tree, Michelle Alleva, Shape Shifter, Daisy Strongin, Laura Becker, Njada, (many of whom have chosen to publish pieces on PITT, and to meet with parents), and so many others who are starting to speak out against gender ideology .
Back 2.5 years ago when my son suddenly announced he was trans, I was lost in a pit of despair with no one to turn to. At that time there were zero stories of desistance or destransition to be found. When I was lucky enough to find a group of other ROGD parents of boys, we spent hours dreaming of you (or the idea of you)—a man who had come out on the other side of transition, who could prove to us what we felt in our gut—that being born in the wrong body was a myth and a harmful delusion, and that there was a chance that our children would come, one day, to realize this.
Your willingness to put yourselves and your stories out there is more than enough to embolden us parents to hold our ground firmly for our children. And, you have given us an added bonus—the hope and knowledge that our children can stand tall and be whole again in mind and spirit even after medical transition—because you have paved the way for how it can be done with your own examples. You are also now standing strong as trailblazers and holding your unethical medical providers accountable, with law suits beginning around the country, which is a service, not just to yourselves, but to the countless others who will, unfortunately, follow in your footsteps.
Yes, we sometimes ask too much of our detransitioner friends—please forgive us when we do. We know it’s too much to ask for your help, even in our desperation to save our children. We know in our hearts that you have your own healing to do, and that you can’t personally save each and every one of our sons and daughters, even if we are often tempted to ask. But, you should know that, despite the seeming impossibility of saving our kids, that’s what you are accomplishing anyway, just be being you, and by speaking out.
Thank you for the sacrifices you are making to your privacy and yourselves. Some of you are doing it for us parents and for future generations, some as part of your own healing process—whatever your motivations, please know that we appreciate you! And we will do our best to support you however we can, both because you are showing the light to the world and because we see our kids in you. You are making a difference in our world, and we will always be grateful.