The absence of communication is like death . Years of “no contact” causes grief, exacerbated when the siblings also avoid contact with parents. Then the extended family take the side of the hurt transgender youth. Family disintegration is like cancer, spread through an evil ideology. It really hurts.
"As the movement of gender ideology aims to dismantle, even destroy, the family unit, it simultaneously unravels the fabric of society and its future." Precisely. That is the aim. I don't think we can ever understand gender ideology fully, or even fight it effectively, until we clearly realize that the destruction of the family was always the aim. None of this was accidental. It was all intentional.
The state will be your family. It already mostly is. It feeds you when you can’t, it teaches you about the world, it keeps you warm, it keeps you safe.
As a mother who has been cancelled, I totally get this. The only word that comes to mind is simply "diabolical". Thank you for shining a light on this subject that is destroying the fabric of so many families.
You are right. The dismantling of the family comes directly from the Soviet playbook (Young Pioneers) and was done by another authoritarian regime during WWII, Germany (Hitler Youth). Once taken by the state they are indoctrinated into the state. Orwell's prophetic novel, "1984," exists as a warning when the core family values are broken and the children are wards of the State. Let us remember that you don't need jackboots to do this. Here is what that pillar of the nation, Michelle Obama, "The concept of the nuclear family, it's not really how we were designed to be."
“Gender dysphoria” is a code word for gay in boys, lesbian in girls.
It has no other meaning.
If that comes up the child should immediately be shuffled off to a gay or lesbian environment where other adults who have experience as a gay or lesbian child can give them the full facts before a delusional person does.
It used to be called something like gay uncle Al or lesbian aunt Rusty.
These characters have disappeared as family size has shrunk dramatically.
A psychotherapist or psychiatrist is no substitute.
Only real gays or lesbians can speak to the child as a peer.
No one should shuffle their child off, homo or heterosexual, to adult groomers. As one homosexual father told his child's school board, "the pride flag is a sexual flag". Children are not sexual, and teens are often confused during adolescence. Due in part to our sexually deviant media CULTure, many youth experiment with same sex experiences but grow into heterosexual adults. Counseling for childhood trauma should be available to homosexual & gender dysphoric youth without it being labeled "conversion therapy".
There are actually quite a number of girls who identify as “gay boys” (i.e. they are girls attracted to boys and are therefore straight in sane world) and men who identify as “lesbians” (same deal). My daughter is one of those girls. While I think the scenario you mention is quite common too, there are definitely other reasons why people identify as trans. I think for my daughter it started out because being gay was so much cooler, and she was bullied and made to feel ashamed for being a “cis-het” white girl from a middle class family.
I disagree. It would be fine if my daughter was a lesbian (at least if it were genuine and not a performance for internet disadvantaged identity points) but as she’s gotten older it’s completely obvious that she’s not - she is attracted at least primarily to males. She gets crushes on males, looks at guys, writes and thinks about and draws male characters. She doesn’t talk about girls the same way. Yet she says she’s a boy. A gay boy.
I don’t disagree with you that for many people, being same-sex attracted is the reason they decide they are the opposite sex. But I don’t understand how you can insist that it has to be the reason for everyone when there are clearly many people who transition who are not same-sex attracted. What about all the well-publicized cases of men who are trying to insist on joining lesbian groups and accusing women who won’t sleep with them of bigotry? Or the men in women’s prisons who are having sex with female prisoners? It seems obvious that these types didn’t start identifying as trans because they were same-sex attracted.
Their compulsion to imitate the opposite sex is amplified by doctors and other sexual mimics. 95-97% of children who claim gender dysphoria and have behaviors not common to their sex are lesbian are gay. I’ve read these numbers for years.
It’s a question do they imitate women a hour a day or the entire time when they are awake.
We don’t know the people you cite claimed gender dysphoria as a child. We do know they had the behavior of imitating the opposite sex as adults. It’s not even clear they had behaviors unusual for their sex ever in their lives.
Trans widows were so often married to aggressive, assertive masculine men who suddenly began imitating women.
A man claiming to have periods, wanting genital surgery, wanting to be sterilized, wanting steroid hormones, grooming themselves to look like prostitutes are doing so in service of imitating the opposite sex. It’s not in service of lacking assertion, being gentle, or other features of gay behavior for some men.
From this:
Young gay men who aren’t assertive, dislike rough-and-tumble play and other typically male behaviors aren’t imitating women.
Young Lesbians who are stoic, assertive and enjoy rough-and-tumble play aren’t imitating men.
Men who compulsively imitate females must work constantly to maintain the imitation. I suspect Women who compulsively imitate men must work constantly to maintain the imitation.
That’s the key difference.
Displaying behaviors uncommon to your sex is not compulsively imitating the other sex.
Likewise compulsively imitating the opposite sex is not being lesbian or gay.
If you have behaviors uncommon to your sex and teen angst over adult sexuality, 97 times out of 100 you’re lesbian or gay.
Your daughter, wanting to “be a gay man” is saying one thing, which i discuss extensively in relation to men, but it works almost the same for women.
“I want to imitate a gay man”
She may be entirely heterosexual. I have also in my half century of gay life also met a lot of bisexual women who want to have sex with a gay man - not a straight man - a gay man - and lately I’ve found that sometimes they believe if they act like (imitate) a man they may have sex with gay man.
This is called “if I imitate a man and stay around gay men who will never have sex with me (La Cage aux Folles notwithstanding) I don’t have to deal with straight men coming on to me and I will not have to deal with heterosexual sex”.
So ask yourself:
My daughter wants to imitate gay men, has crushes on gay men, and will never be attracted to men she would have sex with.
It the imitation becomes a compulsion, you have a sexual mimic. If it progresses she will become more aggressive in the imitation and resort to self-harm.
In all cases she’s not going to have sex with men, and is not attracted sexually to men who are attracted to her sexually.
Think about it.
Talk to a Lesbian. You’ll be surprised at the behaviors which you, unless you’re a Lesbian, would never occur to you to be Lesbian behaviors.
That’s why I say.
Assume they are lesbian or gay, and get them to talk to the appropriate counselor.
Parents can’t give them the talk.
Straight “affirmation” shrinks can’t.
And heaven help if she meets a compulsive sexual mimic.
IMO, there is simply no way that 95-97% figure is close to accurate. This insanity is so pervasive that hundreds of thousands if not millions of heterosexual children and young adults have also been caught up in it.
Trust me, I'm not at all dismissing the effect it has had on homosexual children and young adults.
In the late 80’s Green published a book on “sissy boys” or boys having many behaviors in common with girls - gentle, enjoying dolls, playing dress-up - which we use the term “sissy” for.
These boys almost always grow up to be gay. Within the research period it was perhaps 80% or better, but many gay men don’t come out until later in life so it will increase the longer you observe.
Kinsey institute had similar studies and other writers took on the subject until it was irrevocably tainted with trans advocacy.
Pre-child transing the data shows very high rate of conversion.
When trans enters the picture it relabeled teen angst over gay or lesbian behavior as trans and becoming gay or lesbian as “desistence” Trans people have an overwhelming compulsion to label all human behaviors in relation to trans so I discount all labels and observations as both false and manipulated. The moment the word “gender” is used is the moment logic fails because gender is used precisely to hide sex, and render the phenomenon “transgenderist” instead of sex related behavior.
The probability of a boy sharing a large number of behaviors with girls becoming in their lifetime a gay man or bisexual begins to asymptotically approach 100% once You look clearly at reports.
So: simple idea. If a boy has behaviors we more often see in girls, the chance that he isn’t gay will decline through this kids. It’s sufficient for the most part to identify them as gay and get them inmcontact with a gay counselor who can help them understand that they may not end up like their dad but there are many other ways for them to be a happy adult by looking at livea of successful gay men.
It however is of necessary. There are quite a few boys who become gay as adults who have only few if any female behaviors, quite ordinary overall.
Therefore assuming a boy who shares behaviors with girls ans lacks common behaviors with other boys will become gay as an adult is ar least 80%-90% accurate by end puberty by the numbers. Lifetime identification is likely100% but there is no data (for me other than the 1000’s of gay men I’ve known over decadea. I can count the number of sissy heterosexuals on one hand over 60 years.
When 95-97% resolve to lesbian or gay, therw are exceptions and I expect to hear “not my son not my daughter”. A Lesbian or Gay counselor will find these trivially. That’s the point, assume Lesbian or Gay, get that counselor to talk with them and help them through - 95%-97% of the time - the issues they face. If Gaydar or Lesbar (?!) doesn’t kick in, then like any good counselor they can work through their teen angst.
It routes them away from people with a compulsion to imitate the opposite sex, or doctors who don’t understand the compulsion.
Would you rather your daughter speak to a trans affirming doctor or a trans affirming trans?
You can’t change sexual orientation. Ever. You can’t change sex. Ever. Most gays and lesbians know that and wouldn’t dream of “recruiting”
From everything I have read, being same-sex attracted is just one of MANY things that can cause a child to identify as trans. I really don't think it's that simple. Gay kids ARE being transed, but it's not limited to them.
This makes me profoundly sad. I see and feel it on a daily basis. Personally. And I know 3 others who have been cut off from one, or more of their children. And there's never a reason given, just estrangement, then no contact. It's also percolating to grown up siblings and lifelong friends. Cancel culture is a growing phenomenom that isn't defined by age. 2020 was the Year of Great Unraveling. We've never been the same.
EyesOpen (and all those who are reading my comment), have you read "Journeys by the Styx" substack? He lays out estrangement ideology that many families are going through even if they weren't hit by the trans cult. There is also a book called, "Forget Them Kids" by Vivian King, Phd. She also writes about therapeutic language and estrangement ideology seeping into families now. These helped me understand more broadly what is happening with younger Millenials and older Gen Z in cutting off their family.
“Parents are constantly berated for their failures. Kids are saying, ‘You owed me everything because you chose to have me. But I owe you nothing in return.’”
When my kid was 13, I saw a text she had sent a friend that read something like "my parents had no right or ownership to choose my name." They have no understanding of what it means to be a parent, because as with everything else, the culture has changed the definition.
Bravo for tackling this subject head on. Many authors here have touched on this, but not a deep dive like this. And it's so very important - not just with trans either. The incessant focus on trauma (and encouragement to almost wallow in it v. build resilience and move through it), the quizzes and articles asking "is your family member a narcissist?", the constant drumbeat of "toxic masculinity," the equating of loving discipline with abuse, has at some point got to come to a head. And yet, young people wonder why they feel so lonely. They don't realize they are victims of a grim experiment to destroy everything that is good about the human race.
Pope Leo XIV already seems to have honed in on this. I saw this quote from a day or two ago that is just fantastic:
Let us think of the isolation caused by rampant relational models increasingly marked by superficiality, individualism and emotional instability; of the spread of patterns of thought weakened by relativism; of the prevalence of rhythms and lifestyles in which there is not enough room for listening, reflection and dialogue, at school, in the family and, at times, among the peers themselves, with the resulting loneliness."
Yes, the cult of algorithmic identity has taken control of their minds, all this talk of breaking generational trauma whilst creating way deeper trauma than ever, the irony is glaring. This mass brainwashing by a million internet cults has created identities steeped in tik tok videos, victims, performers. It’s like Stockholm Syndrome via tech. We need to get back to talking about depth of character, integrity, family bonds, romantic love. Being born into this world is to believe that everyone is an enemy except those who say “come here I have the answers of your human emotions for you”….the equivalent for children in the old days was being lured by a stranger with sweets!
Yes: "And yet, young people wonder why they feel so lonely. They don't realize they are victims of a grim experiment to destroy everything that is good about the human race."
This is 100% spot on, my wife and I are victims, our daughter now breastless and bearded, we do talk sometimes but it is very rare, no Christmas, birthdays, Thanksgiving, Easter, Moms/Dads day, nothing...I woke up 2x this week at 3am and just prayed for her. Yep - I remember this one..."Kids are saying, ‘You owed me everything because you chose to have me. But I owe you nothing in return.’” and the name change, it is all so destructive and evil. The world is growing quite evil, ancient books of wisdom discuss what happens next. Only Jesus can save us, put your Hope and Trust in him, follow his ways as best you can, he never fails. Fight the good fight, run the good race. Love God, start today.
I agree, it’s shocking the amount of kids/young adults that are disowning their parents, not just trans, but largely over their ‘identities’. It is absolutely destructive for humanity & I am still stunned at how easily they are able to do it. It’s the most cruel thing to be discarded & dismissed in this way. And how on earth we get through our days hurt & angry whilst at the same time worried sick about them. It is the strangest most cowardly choice. And what’s hardest is that none of us want to badmouth our kids, because they were nice, were.
It's the therapists who are encouraging adult children to label their parents as "toxic", convincing them their perfectly typical upbringings were woefully deficient and that their lives will now be happier if they discard the people who always have, and always will, love them most in the world.
The definition of "abuse" just gets more and more petty. The younger generations are in therapy in ridiculous numbers, and they're all being encouraged to see themselves as "victims" of this or that. Are therapists being TRAINED in this now, or has it simply become fashionable? Or maybe it keeps clients coming through the doors?
When a child identifies as trans, it's even worse, of course. But the "no contact" nonsense is also happening in plenty of families that have nothing to do with trans.
All this family destruction won't lead to anyone's lasting happiness.
Trans has a living script they employ, they worship themselves, they think they are God, they are not, God has given them over to their abominations, it's happened before many, many years ago. We should all love God and his creations, love our neighbors as ourselves, be full of love and compassion and His truths. Only Jesus saves, true freedom is only found in Christ. Woe to the wicked, ready the millstones!
This is not a new phenomenon. Indeed, I am struck by the similarities with the upheavals of the 1960s and 1970s. Back then it was "finding yourself" or "self-actualization" and the facilitation was mostly drugs. And, yes, back then it was also all the fault of the 'communists'.
I think this kind of social contagion phenomenon happens regularly and is usually brought on by significant exogenous events. In the 1960 it was the Cold War and the fear of nuclear obliteration and, of course, Vietnam. "Turn on, tune in, drop out". I knew families torn asunder by 'hippie' and drug culture. It was serious ... and I would maintain that a lot more kids died or were maimed for life from drug overdoses than have likely been killed and injured by transgenderism so far (knock on wood). This time the transgender fad has been juiced by COVID and rapid changes in digital technology expressly electronic social media.
However, the 60s and 70s youth rebellion was driven by overdue culture changes and political polarization ... as bad as today in many respects. And while transgenderism is also driven by radical culture and Postmodern political theory, in the end this will pass because it is simple not objectively true and not rooted in science and reality. We had to work through the Civil Rights movement, the women's rights movement, and gay rights movements as necessary liberations and empowerments of people -- transgenderism is not like that at all -- it is not rooted in rights but by a twisted Postmodern Theory ideology founded on cynicism, nihilism, and rejection of reason and science (in those respects it is also mirrored in radical MAGAism).
So in spite of the struggle I am rather optimistic about the outcome of this battle over sex and gender because ultimately nothing can change the fact that sex in mammals is binary and immutable, period. Reality will not be mocked for long.
These days it's not just gender ideology/gender identity issues that are busting up families. This also happens in traditional religious families when a child decides not just to follow a different church or path, but feels the need to lecture the parents for taking them down the "wrong" path and going no-contact because of religious beliefs. It's like the Reformation all over again. The self-righteous cope of boundaries/no-contact is happening in all kinds of families.
A traditional, conservative and Christian family I know of in my town sent their daughter to Wheaton College in IL (an evangelical college.) She met a boy there, her parents threw her a lovely wedding, and then after they returned home the daughter informed them that she was resentful that her parents hadn't raised her in the correct religion, that she was now entirely with her new husband and his family, and that she didn't want to have a relationship with them again because of their mistaken religious beliefs. So, that's that! Raise a child, send her to the college of her choice, and receive precisely two mouthsful of ashes. Sickening and wrong.
Yep. My kids are 22 and 20, and all of our friends' kids are around this same age. Several of these families are experiencing some sort of seismic rift with one or more of their kids, at varying levels of severity. None have ended up in a no contact situation yet but they are all teetering on the brink, including our own. Our issue is trans; in other families, it's some other sort of unfair or incorrect treatment from childhood.
These are all solid, two-parent families, upper middle class, well educated, kids have been well provided for with no major dysfunction. Colleges, weddings, etc. paid for. A life and upbringing that many less fortunate children would dream of. And yet, here we all are.
The absence of communication is like death . Years of “no contact” causes grief, exacerbated when the siblings also avoid contact with parents. Then the extended family take the side of the hurt transgender youth. Family disintegration is like cancer, spread through an evil ideology. It really hurts.
"As the movement of gender ideology aims to dismantle, even destroy, the family unit, it simultaneously unravels the fabric of society and its future." Precisely. That is the aim. I don't think we can ever understand gender ideology fully, or even fight it effectively, until we clearly realize that the destruction of the family was always the aim. None of this was accidental. It was all intentional.
The state will be your family. It already mostly is. It feeds you when you can’t, it teaches you about the world, it keeps you warm, it keeps you safe.
It will love you and you will love it.
“all shall love me and despair”
I agree with everything that has been said . Sadly !
As a mother who has been cancelled, I totally get this. The only word that comes to mind is simply "diabolical". Thank you for shining a light on this subject that is destroying the fabric of so many families.
You are right. The dismantling of the family comes directly from the Soviet playbook (Young Pioneers) and was done by another authoritarian regime during WWII, Germany (Hitler Youth). Once taken by the state they are indoctrinated into the state. Orwell's prophetic novel, "1984," exists as a warning when the core family values are broken and the children are wards of the State. Let us remember that you don't need jackboots to do this. Here is what that pillar of the nation, Michelle Obama, "The concept of the nuclear family, it's not really how we were designed to be."
I totally disagree.
Same with the Maoist Red Guard.
“Gender dysphoria” is a code word for gay in boys, lesbian in girls.
It has no other meaning.
If that comes up the child should immediately be shuffled off to a gay or lesbian environment where other adults who have experience as a gay or lesbian child can give them the full facts before a delusional person does.
It used to be called something like gay uncle Al or lesbian aunt Rusty.
These characters have disappeared as family size has shrunk dramatically.
A psychotherapist or psychiatrist is no substitute.
Only real gays or lesbians can speak to the child as a peer.
No one should shuffle their child off, homo or heterosexual, to adult groomers. As one homosexual father told his child's school board, "the pride flag is a sexual flag". Children are not sexual, and teens are often confused during adolescence. Due in part to our sexually deviant media CULTure, many youth experiment with same sex experiences but grow into heterosexual adults. Counseling for childhood trauma should be available to homosexual & gender dysphoric youth without it being labeled "conversion therapy".
Nobody should suffer their child off to someone who has no idea of what they’re taking about.
That easy.
My gender dysphoric son is married to a biological woman. He's traumatized and stubborn but not homosexual.
That’s one person, I speak of numbers. Gender dysphoria is a manufactured conditions which is not scientifically defined.
Children have had adolescent anxiety over their adult sexuality forever.
The research on the topic is overwhelming.
https://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&as_sdt=0%2C5&q=pubertal+anxiety&oq=
When of comes to masculinity and feminity it is almost invariably gay or lesbian as a source.
Prove me wrong. Men begin homosexual behavior permanently at many stages in life.
There are actually quite a number of girls who identify as “gay boys” (i.e. they are girls attracted to boys and are therefore straight in sane world) and men who identify as “lesbians” (same deal). My daughter is one of those girls. While I think the scenario you mention is quite common too, there are definitely other reasons why people identify as trans. I think for my daughter it started out because being gay was so much cooler, and she was bullied and made to feel ashamed for being a “cis-het” white girl from a middle class family.
They don’t identify as trans; they are told they do. They don’t identify as the sexuality of their parents because they are gay or lesbian.
I disagree. It would be fine if my daughter was a lesbian (at least if it were genuine and not a performance for internet disadvantaged identity points) but as she’s gotten older it’s completely obvious that she’s not - she is attracted at least primarily to males. She gets crushes on males, looks at guys, writes and thinks about and draws male characters. She doesn’t talk about girls the same way. Yet she says she’s a boy. A gay boy.
I don’t disagree with you that for many people, being same-sex attracted is the reason they decide they are the opposite sex. But I don’t understand how you can insist that it has to be the reason for everyone when there are clearly many people who transition who are not same-sex attracted. What about all the well-publicized cases of men who are trying to insist on joining lesbian groups and accusing women who won’t sleep with them of bigotry? Or the men in women’s prisons who are having sex with female prisoners? It seems obvious that these types didn’t start identifying as trans because they were same-sex attracted.
Nobody transitions.
Their compulsion to imitate the opposite sex is amplified by doctors and other sexual mimics. 95-97% of children who claim gender dysphoria and have behaviors not common to their sex are lesbian are gay. I’ve read these numbers for years.
It’s a question do they imitate women a hour a day or the entire time when they are awake.
We don’t know the people you cite claimed gender dysphoria as a child. We do know they had the behavior of imitating the opposite sex as adults. It’s not even clear they had behaviors unusual for their sex ever in their lives.
Trans widows were so often married to aggressive, assertive masculine men who suddenly began imitating women.
A man claiming to have periods, wanting genital surgery, wanting to be sterilized, wanting steroid hormones, grooming themselves to look like prostitutes are doing so in service of imitating the opposite sex. It’s not in service of lacking assertion, being gentle, or other features of gay behavior for some men.
From this:
Young gay men who aren’t assertive, dislike rough-and-tumble play and other typically male behaviors aren’t imitating women.
Young Lesbians who are stoic, assertive and enjoy rough-and-tumble play aren’t imitating men.
Men who compulsively imitate females must work constantly to maintain the imitation. I suspect Women who compulsively imitate men must work constantly to maintain the imitation.
That’s the key difference.
Displaying behaviors uncommon to your sex is not compulsively imitating the other sex.
Likewise compulsively imitating the opposite sex is not being lesbian or gay.
If you have behaviors uncommon to your sex and teen angst over adult sexuality, 97 times out of 100 you’re lesbian or gay.
Your daughter, wanting to “be a gay man” is saying one thing, which i discuss extensively in relation to men, but it works almost the same for women.
“I want to imitate a gay man”
She may be entirely heterosexual. I have also in my half century of gay life also met a lot of bisexual women who want to have sex with a gay man - not a straight man - a gay man - and lately I’ve found that sometimes they believe if they act like (imitate) a man they may have sex with gay man.
This is called “if I imitate a man and stay around gay men who will never have sex with me (La Cage aux Folles notwithstanding) I don’t have to deal with straight men coming on to me and I will not have to deal with heterosexual sex”.
So ask yourself:
My daughter wants to imitate gay men, has crushes on gay men, and will never be attracted to men she would have sex with.
It the imitation becomes a compulsion, you have a sexual mimic. If it progresses she will become more aggressive in the imitation and resort to self-harm.
In all cases she’s not going to have sex with men, and is not attracted sexually to men who are attracted to her sexually.
Think about it.
Talk to a Lesbian. You’ll be surprised at the behaviors which you, unless you’re a Lesbian, would never occur to you to be Lesbian behaviors.
That’s why I say.
Assume they are lesbian or gay, and get them to talk to the appropriate counselor.
Parents can’t give them the talk.
Straight “affirmation” shrinks can’t.
And heaven help if she meets a compulsive sexual mimic.
IMO, there is simply no way that 95-97% figure is close to accurate. This insanity is so pervasive that hundreds of thousands if not millions of heterosexual children and young adults have also been caught up in it.
Trust me, I'm not at all dismissing the effect it has had on homosexual children and young adults.
In the late 80’s Green published a book on “sissy boys” or boys having many behaviors in common with girls - gentle, enjoying dolls, playing dress-up - which we use the term “sissy” for.
These boys almost always grow up to be gay. Within the research period it was perhaps 80% or better, but many gay men don’t come out until later in life so it will increase the longer you observe.
Kinsey institute had similar studies and other writers took on the subject until it was irrevocably tainted with trans advocacy.
Pre-child transing the data shows very high rate of conversion.
When trans enters the picture it relabeled teen angst over gay or lesbian behavior as trans and becoming gay or lesbian as “desistence” Trans people have an overwhelming compulsion to label all human behaviors in relation to trans so I discount all labels and observations as both false and manipulated. The moment the word “gender” is used is the moment logic fails because gender is used precisely to hide sex, and render the phenomenon “transgenderist” instead of sex related behavior.
The probability of a boy sharing a large number of behaviors with girls becoming in their lifetime a gay man or bisexual begins to asymptotically approach 100% once You look clearly at reports.
So: simple idea. If a boy has behaviors we more often see in girls, the chance that he isn’t gay will decline through this kids. It’s sufficient for the most part to identify them as gay and get them inmcontact with a gay counselor who can help them understand that they may not end up like their dad but there are many other ways for them to be a happy adult by looking at livea of successful gay men.
It however is of necessary. There are quite a few boys who become gay as adults who have only few if any female behaviors, quite ordinary overall.
Therefore assuming a boy who shares behaviors with girls ans lacks common behaviors with other boys will become gay as an adult is ar least 80%-90% accurate by end puberty by the numbers. Lifetime identification is likely100% but there is no data (for me other than the 1000’s of gay men I’ve known over decadea. I can count the number of sissy heterosexuals on one hand over 60 years.
When 95-97% resolve to lesbian or gay, therw are exceptions and I expect to hear “not my son not my daughter”. A Lesbian or Gay counselor will find these trivially. That’s the point, assume Lesbian or Gay, get that counselor to talk with them and help them through - 95%-97% of the time - the issues they face. If Gaydar or Lesbar (?!) doesn’t kick in, then like any good counselor they can work through their teen angst.
It routes them away from people with a compulsion to imitate the opposite sex, or doctors who don’t understand the compulsion.
Would you rather your daughter speak to a trans affirming doctor or a trans affirming trans?
You can’t change sexual orientation. Ever. You can’t change sex. Ever. Most gays and lesbians know that and wouldn’t dream of “recruiting”
Numbers don’t support that view.
From everything I have read, being same-sex attracted is just one of MANY things that can cause a child to identify as trans. I really don't think it's that simple. Gay kids ARE being transed, but it's not limited to them.
Are you gay?
This makes me profoundly sad. I see and feel it on a daily basis. Personally. And I know 3 others who have been cut off from one, or more of their children. And there's never a reason given, just estrangement, then no contact. It's also percolating to grown up siblings and lifelong friends. Cancel culture is a growing phenomenom that isn't defined by age. 2020 was the Year of Great Unraveling. We've never been the same.
EyesOpen (and all those who are reading my comment), have you read "Journeys by the Styx" substack? He lays out estrangement ideology that many families are going through even if they weren't hit by the trans cult. There is also a book called, "Forget Them Kids" by Vivian King, Phd. She also writes about therapeutic language and estrangement ideology seeping into families now. These helped me understand more broadly what is happening with younger Millenials and older Gen Z in cutting off their family.
“Parents are constantly berated for their failures. Kids are saying, ‘You owed me everything because you chose to have me. But I owe you nothing in return.’”
When my kid was 13, I saw a text she had sent a friend that read something like "my parents had no right or ownership to choose my name." They have no understanding of what it means to be a parent, because as with everything else, the culture has changed the definition.
Bravo for tackling this subject head on. Many authors here have touched on this, but not a deep dive like this. And it's so very important - not just with trans either. The incessant focus on trauma (and encouragement to almost wallow in it v. build resilience and move through it), the quizzes and articles asking "is your family member a narcissist?", the constant drumbeat of "toxic masculinity," the equating of loving discipline with abuse, has at some point got to come to a head. And yet, young people wonder why they feel so lonely. They don't realize they are victims of a grim experiment to destroy everything that is good about the human race.
Pope Leo XIV already seems to have honed in on this. I saw this quote from a day or two ago that is just fantastic:
Let us think of the isolation caused by rampant relational models increasingly marked by superficiality, individualism and emotional instability; of the spread of patterns of thought weakened by relativism; of the prevalence of rhythms and lifestyles in which there is not enough room for listening, reflection and dialogue, at school, in the family and, at times, among the peers themselves, with the resulting loneliness."
Yes, the cult of algorithmic identity has taken control of their minds, all this talk of breaking generational trauma whilst creating way deeper trauma than ever, the irony is glaring. This mass brainwashing by a million internet cults has created identities steeped in tik tok videos, victims, performers. It’s like Stockholm Syndrome via tech. We need to get back to talking about depth of character, integrity, family bonds, romantic love. Being born into this world is to believe that everyone is an enemy except those who say “come here I have the answers of your human emotions for you”….the equivalent for children in the old days was being lured by a stranger with sweets!
Yes: "And yet, young people wonder why they feel so lonely. They don't realize they are victims of a grim experiment to destroy everything that is good about the human race."
This is 100% spot on, my wife and I are victims, our daughter now breastless and bearded, we do talk sometimes but it is very rare, no Christmas, birthdays, Thanksgiving, Easter, Moms/Dads day, nothing...I woke up 2x this week at 3am and just prayed for her. Yep - I remember this one..."Kids are saying, ‘You owed me everything because you chose to have me. But I owe you nothing in return.’” and the name change, it is all so destructive and evil. The world is growing quite evil, ancient books of wisdom discuss what happens next. Only Jesus can save us, put your Hope and Trust in him, follow his ways as best you can, he never fails. Fight the good fight, run the good race. Love God, start today.
Harriet Learner has much to say about maturity and family structure.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-dance-of-connection/200904/your-dysfunctional-family
I agree, it’s shocking the amount of kids/young adults that are disowning their parents, not just trans, but largely over their ‘identities’. It is absolutely destructive for humanity & I am still stunned at how easily they are able to do it. It’s the most cruel thing to be discarded & dismissed in this way. And how on earth we get through our days hurt & angry whilst at the same time worried sick about them. It is the strangest most cowardly choice. And what’s hardest is that none of us want to badmouth our kids, because they were nice, were.
Thank you for writing this piece.
It's the therapists who are encouraging adult children to label their parents as "toxic", convincing them their perfectly typical upbringings were woefully deficient and that their lives will now be happier if they discard the people who always have, and always will, love them most in the world.
The definition of "abuse" just gets more and more petty. The younger generations are in therapy in ridiculous numbers, and they're all being encouraged to see themselves as "victims" of this or that. Are therapists being TRAINED in this now, or has it simply become fashionable? Or maybe it keeps clients coming through the doors?
When a child identifies as trans, it's even worse, of course. But the "no contact" nonsense is also happening in plenty of families that have nothing to do with trans.
All this family destruction won't lead to anyone's lasting happiness.
Trans has a living script they employ, they worship themselves, they think they are God, they are not, God has given them over to their abominations, it's happened before many, many years ago. We should all love God and his creations, love our neighbors as ourselves, be full of love and compassion and His truths. Only Jesus saves, true freedom is only found in Christ. Woe to the wicked, ready the millstones!
This is not a new phenomenon. Indeed, I am struck by the similarities with the upheavals of the 1960s and 1970s. Back then it was "finding yourself" or "self-actualization" and the facilitation was mostly drugs. And, yes, back then it was also all the fault of the 'communists'.
I think this kind of social contagion phenomenon happens regularly and is usually brought on by significant exogenous events. In the 1960 it was the Cold War and the fear of nuclear obliteration and, of course, Vietnam. "Turn on, tune in, drop out". I knew families torn asunder by 'hippie' and drug culture. It was serious ... and I would maintain that a lot more kids died or were maimed for life from drug overdoses than have likely been killed and injured by transgenderism so far (knock on wood). This time the transgender fad has been juiced by COVID and rapid changes in digital technology expressly electronic social media.
However, the 60s and 70s youth rebellion was driven by overdue culture changes and political polarization ... as bad as today in many respects. And while transgenderism is also driven by radical culture and Postmodern political theory, in the end this will pass because it is simple not objectively true and not rooted in science and reality. We had to work through the Civil Rights movement, the women's rights movement, and gay rights movements as necessary liberations and empowerments of people -- transgenderism is not like that at all -- it is not rooted in rights but by a twisted Postmodern Theory ideology founded on cynicism, nihilism, and rejection of reason and science (in those respects it is also mirrored in radical MAGAism).
So in spite of the struggle I am rather optimistic about the outcome of this battle over sex and gender because ultimately nothing can change the fact that sex in mammals is binary and immutable, period. Reality will not be mocked for long.
I’m glad you are optimistic it will pass. However, they are harming their bodies in the meantime & the family breakdown lasts for years
These days it's not just gender ideology/gender identity issues that are busting up families. This also happens in traditional religious families when a child decides not just to follow a different church or path, but feels the need to lecture the parents for taking them down the "wrong" path and going no-contact because of religious beliefs. It's like the Reformation all over again. The self-righteous cope of boundaries/no-contact is happening in all kinds of families.
A traditional, conservative and Christian family I know of in my town sent their daughter to Wheaton College in IL (an evangelical college.) She met a boy there, her parents threw her a lovely wedding, and then after they returned home the daughter informed them that she was resentful that her parents hadn't raised her in the correct religion, that she was now entirely with her new husband and his family, and that she didn't want to have a relationship with them again because of their mistaken religious beliefs. So, that's that! Raise a child, send her to the college of her choice, and receive precisely two mouthsful of ashes. Sickening and wrong.
Yep. My kids are 22 and 20, and all of our friends' kids are around this same age. Several of these families are experiencing some sort of seismic rift with one or more of their kids, at varying levels of severity. None have ended up in a no contact situation yet but they are all teetering on the brink, including our own. Our issue is trans; in other families, it's some other sort of unfair or incorrect treatment from childhood.
These are all solid, two-parent families, upper middle class, well educated, kids have been well provided for with no major dysfunction. Colleges, weddings, etc. paid for. A life and upbringing that many less fortunate children would dream of. And yet, here we all are.
I don’t actually “like” this comment, but it resonates. I’m so sorry for these families. I hope these kids pull their heads out of their asses.